“Yeah. She was the one who ran all the seminars as far as I could tell. I kind of think she had training in running groups like that, like she used to be a counselor or something. I know Billy often stayed after to talk to her and always came back happy. Well, happier.”
“How many seminars did you personally attend?” I asked.
“Like five over a couple of months? And I only went because Billy begged me to. He really thought it would help me, but I’m not real comfortable talking to strangers about my life. I got my friends, my sisters, my parents, you know? Plus that new-age shit is hard for me to swallow. I was raised Catholic. Lapsed, but still. But Billy was all about those seminars and those people right from the beginning. And he was happy. Really, really happy like I hadn’t seen him since I’d told him I was pregnant.”
“If he was depressed, why didn’t he go see a proper counselor?”
“We couldn’t afford it. I was already in deep debt when we met because of my clotting issue, like fifteen grand in debt, and then with the miscarriage and those bills…the federal government wasn’t gonna pay for our whole stay like they did when you went to the hospital.” Since I was injured in the line of duty, the FBI helped considerably with my hospital bills. I’d have gone bankrupt otherwise. “I might not have agreed with their beliefs, but I was happy Billy found them, you know?”
“So they never asked for money?”
“There was a donation basket at the seminars, but they never straight-up asked. When I talked to people at the Temple parties, I got the feeling if you were living there you had to contribute, but that made sense.”
“How often did Billy attend the seminars?”
“The seminars? Whenever there was one—like two, three times a week. But a month in he was over at The Temple every other day for dinner, and in the last month he was there every single day. He even spent his days off being an ambassador and spreading the word over the county.”
“Spreading the word?” I asked.
“Yeah. Driving around hanging fliers anyplace that would allow them. He was gone for a whole weekend once. Or he was lying about that and was really shacked up with that putana Betsy. I knew she had a thing for him. Young, like early twenties if that, all curves and tits, with red hair.” Gia scoffed. “Guess you Ballards have a thing for redheads when it comes to breaking your vows.”
I let that dig slide too. “Can you remember her last name? Betsy’s?”
“No. I just remember her from the parties. She was always close by or following him with her eyes, but girls sometimes flirted with Billy. He never gave me cause to doubt him, even with that whore. The two times I spoke to her she seemed super shy. When she talked it was always compliments. Always. She was like a sad stray puppy or something. I mean, you know the type. The princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince to save her when she could just tie some damn sheets together and climb down.”
“Do you think that would have appealed to Billy? Playing the hero to this girl?”
“What man doesn’t want to play the hero?” she countered. “Especially when his twin sister is literally doing that very thing and getting a shit ton of praise and riches for it? You know when he went balls deep into this fucking cult? When you were on every channel, on the cover of magazines, when we couldn’t walk down the damn street without someone asking Billy what it was like to have a big hero sister after he’d just lost another job.”
“That isn’t my fault,” I pointed out.
“I’m just trying to paint the damn picture you wanted me to, okay? So to answer your question, I could see Billy—I could see any man—fall for a girl who needs rescuing when he feels like dog shit and helpless himself. Duh. What does this bitch have to do with anything anyway?”
“Because last night one of The Temple’s attendees came up to me and told me he’d never believed in love at first sight until the moment he saw me. I think part of him believed the bullshit, but I have no doubt someone either put him up to it or convinced him I was his destiny. If they did it with me, then they could have done it with this Betsy. And if that’s true, if people are being knowingly pimped out, then that place needs to be shut down right fucking quick, and not just for Billy’s sake. That a good enough explanation for you?” Gia just stared at me with a frown. I sighed. “Why did you stop going?”
“Loads of reasons. I took on more hours at the diner. I didn’t like the dogma or seminars. It creeped me out how happy everyone was all the time. Eventually Billy just stopped asking me. That was about two months ago. That should have set off my warning bells, but we still had sex regularly. He didn’t change his routine. We didn’t fight. He did get quieter, a little withdrawn, but I thought it was because of all the shit going on with you. When I asked, that’s what he said it was. Lying bastard. Looking back…I guess it’s like that story with the frogs in boiling water, you know? Throw it in boiling water, it jumps out. Just raise the temperature and it’ll stay and boil until it’s dead.”
“That’s actually how cults work. Scientology doesn’t open with aliens for a reason.”
“Do you really think this Betsy was a plant? That she manipulated him on purpose?”
“Based on what I’ve seen, I’d say the odds are good, yeah.”
“Guess he was right. You did get all the brains in the family. How could he not see what she was doing?” She looked up and rolled her teary eyes.
“Frogs in boiling water. And he’s still in the damn pot, Gia.” I frowned. “Tell me about Mathias Morning and the others in charge. Was there anyone else who stuck out as more than just another member?”
“Helen, definitely. She ran the seminars, the parties, acted like a housewife/den mother at The Temple. I don’t know how much say she has in policies and crap, but everyone at The Temple seemed to respect her, even Mathias. She seemed genuinely nice, though. Never set off my bullshit barometer, not like Mathias or Meg, or…fuck, what was his name? Ken, I think. He’s Mathias’s right-hand man. I didn’t like him. At all. He was hard, you know? You could still smell prison on him.”
“Got any last names?”
“No. Sorry.”
“What can you tell me about Meg?”
“Cute, pretty, everybody’s best friend. I never trust a person like that. Kevin knew her better, though. I don’t know the whole story, just that they were together for a few months, then they weren’t. When I found Billy’s note I called Kevin, looking for info on this farm. He told me that Meg had moved on to someone else and he hadn’t been back to The Temple in three months.”
“Did he use those exact words?” I asked.
“More or less.”
“How long was he with the group?”
“Just a couple months.”
“Does Billy have any other friends he might have talked to about the group?”
“Not really. Billy’s never been big on close friends. He was friendly with my family. He’d go out with people from our jobs, but I was the one he confided in. Until the Movement. Then he became this like social butterfly. It was like fucking night and day.”
So no leads there. I sighed again. “What about Mathias? Tell me about him.”
“I only met him once at a party, and he barely said a word to me. He seemed nice enough. I noticed he made sure to say hello to everyone, me included. He was handsome in a fatherly kind of way. Trim hair, beard, body. A lot of girls blushed when they talked to him. Hell, I think even Billy had a crush on him. He wouldn’t ever shut up about him, at any rate. ‘Mathias says we should get rid of the TV. Not only does it brainwash us, but think of all the money we’ll save.’ ‘Mathias says I don’t need antidepressants anymore. I’m doing so well with the seminars and supplements. I’ve been off them for a week.’ ‘Mathias says we shouldn’t shop at Walmart or the grocery store since they’re evil corporations who don’t care about their workers.’ ‘Mathias thinks I shouldn’t go to your brother’s house because his questions make me feel bad about myself. He’s not coming from a go
od place.’ ” She rolled her eyes. “Billy loved my brothers and nieces and nephews, but he wouldn’t talk to or go near them the past few weeks. Not even to little Nora’s birthday party. He wanted us to cancel the Internet, the cable, to start growing our own food, to meditate and fast and shit. Fasting was a big one. He lost like twenty pounds. But he was happy, so I just went with it when I could.”
“Was it always ‘Mathias said’?”
“Not always. Sometimes it was Helen or Ken said, but mostly it was Mathias, yeah.”
“Did anyone have any tattoos or distinguishing marks that I could use to ID them?” I asked.
“Uh, Ken had a full sleeve on one arm, but I can’t remember any one that stuck out, no. And Mathias wore long sleeves.”
“How old would you say they are?” I asked.
“Same age. Both early sixties to seventies. Ken does have a scar on the left side of his face. Pretty nasty one too.”
“What does Ken look like?”
“About six foot, really thick but like in a muscular way, tannish skin, hazelish eyes, thin nose and lips. Graying brown hair in a crew cut. He kind of looks like a stereotypical jarhead. Always stood up super straight with his shoulders back and was always watching us, waiting for a fight. It was fucking creepy.”
It wasn’t much to go on, but it was a start. “What do you know about this farm Billy’s living at?”
“Not much. I think it’s called The Apex. I heard some people talking about it like it was fucking Paris or something, someplace you just had to go to. Supposedly it was some great big honor to be asked there.”
“How many people do you think live there?”
“I have no idea. I kind of zoned out when people talked about it. Uh…” She thought for a few seconds as her mouth silently moved. “I think I talked to about five, six people who lived there? I think it was way more, though. One of the women told me they were building new homes or something because they’d run out of room in the house. They were living in tents or something. Like, how is that a fucking honor? Give up your own home, the Internet, television, take your kids out of school, and God knows what else to go milk cows and live in a tent? It was totally free love there, but there are only so many orgies you can attend before even that gets boring.”
“They have orgies?”
“I never participated or anything, but that was my impression. Kevin told Billy he had a three-way with Meg and some other woman. I told Billy under no uncertain terms would I put up with any of that crap. Maybe that bitch Betsy does; I don’t know.” She scoffed. “How does he even know the baby’s his, huh?” She shifted in her chair and practically snarled. “Whatever.”
“What do you think the male/female ratio is?”
“I don’t know. About equal? The girls seemed to be younger, and the guys thirties to forties. I wasn’t really paying attention to that shit. Mostly I just zoned out or answered their questions, then zoned out again. Like I said, I only went because Billy insisted.”
I sighed. “Okay, walk me through the week before you found he was gone.”
“Okay…” She sighed. “He spent most of Tuesday in Altoona, spreading the word, while I worked. He got home tired that night and went straight to bed. He went back to The Temple Friday after work, got home late and went straight to bed. He barely spoke to me, but I figured that was because he was tired. Last Saturday I got word my sister-in-law went into labor, so I drove to Pittsburgh to be with my family. Billy texted me that first night, then nothing. Anyway, when I got back Sunday afternoon I found the note on the kitchen table.”
“Do you still have it?” I asked.
“Hell no. I ripped it up after I spent all evening looking for him.”
“What did it say?”
“Usual Dear John bullshit. It’s not you, it’s me. We’ve grown apart. I’m on a new journey you seem unwilling to take with me. I need to be alone and without distraction to continue discovering the real me and my purpose in the universe. I never meant to hurt you, but, and I quote, ‘this is what the universe wants for us both. Trust in that and your own path to happiness and fulfilment will be shown to you.’ Helen said that at the end of every seminar. Such bullshit. He sounded like a fucking pod person in it.”
“What did you do after you found the note?”
“I went looking for him! I called Kevin on the way to The Temple and he told me Billy up and quit his job at the plant the day before. Didn’t say goodbye to him. And he had no idea what was going on with Billy either. Then I got to The Temple and that bitch Helen was there. She pulled that whole sympathetic mom routine with me but wouldn’t answer any of my questions. All I got out of her was he’d been asked to live at that farm, and I needed to respect his journey. How I stopped myself from bitch-slapping her I don’t know. And no one else there would talk to me or they played dumb.”
“When did you find out he took your money?” I asked.
“Oh, on the drive back home,” she said harshly. “I was on the verge of fucking tears but had to get gas. Of course my debit card didn’t work. Insufficient funds for twenty bucks of gas. When I got home I immediately checked the accounts. The fucker left me a hundred dollars in savings. We had two grand. So I got shit-faced, cried my eyes out, then woke the next morning and called your mom looking for him. I had to work, so she took over the search. I know she went to the police but they couldn’t do anything, so I guess she called you. Surprised you got here so fast. Hell, I’m surprised you got here at all.”
Another dig I had to let slide. “So you have no idea where this farm is?”
“None.”
I sighed again. “Okay, now that you’re out of the boiling water, so to speak, and can look at things objectively, why do you think Billy was so drawn to this group?”
“Besides, apparently, the free snatch?” she spewed out. “I don’t know. They treated him like he mattered. Like he was smart, funny, and important. He had people he could go and talk to. He had a non-insane mother who listened without making it all about her, a ton of sisters and brothers who made time for him, a father figure full stop. I know you don’t give a shit, but what your father did really fucked him up. Not just the years and years and years of neglect. You know he went to your father for help? It killed, killed Billy to go begging to that bastard for the money, but ten grand was nothing to him. It wasn’t like he’d ever paid child support, and he did pay for all of your college. But he wouldn’t even see Billy. He tried and tried to get an appointment at your father’s office. Billy had to barge in at his fucking mansion during some party and get down on his hands and knees begging for help and that evil bastard just called security. I lost our baby three days later.” Gia fell back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. “He spent like two hundred grand on your college but wouldn’t spend a penny for your brother and me? I think that hurt him almost as much as losing our baby.”
I bit my lip. I felt like I had to let her in on one of my few secrets. “He only gave me the money for college because I blackmailed him into doing it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Yeah. I, uh, I got a lot of grants and scholarships, but they didn’t cover it all, so I did some investigating. I broke into his office one night and went through his files. I found out he’d invested in a sweatshop in China and was in on a Ponzi scheme. He got out, but he didn’t tell his friends and other investors about it. I was already nuclear pissed about what his daughter had done to me, so I blackmailed him. He didn’t give me the money out of fatherly love; it was to cover his own ass. He did get a tax write-off out of it, though.”
“Holy shit. I didn’t know that.”
“No one did. Well, I think Grandpa suspected. I technically committed multiple crimes, so I wasn’t gonna broadcast that fact. The official story was he’d created a scholarship for the betterment of psychology or some such shit. It paid out all the way through my Ph.D.”
“That’s hard-core. Wish I’d thought of it,” Gia said.
“I’m only telling you…fuck, I don’t know why I’m telling you,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“You should be telling Billy this,” Gia said. “It always made him feel like even that piece of human garbage thought you were better than him. There were already enough of those people, thank you very much.”
I scoffed. “For years I was known as ‘Abortion Whore.’ They wrote it on my locker, even scratched it into my car. Billy, on the other hand, was the sweetheart.”
“And ‘Gay Boy,’ ” Gia countered. “The pansy who needed his sister to do his fighting for him.”
I glared at her. “I’m sorry, do you expect me to apologize for sticking up for my brother? Not a few minutes ago you were accusing me of not giving a shit about him. Pick a damn lane.”
“I’m not…” Gia closed her eyes and sighed. “Look, all I ever knew about you was that your brother idolized you, then you fucked off and never looked back. That hurt him, okay? And he was proud of you, he was, but you being the fucking superstar made him feel like shit. Like he could never measure up. That’s all. And I’m sad and pissed and scared. And I’m just fucking exhausted after rehashing all this shit.”
“Then I’ll get out of your hair,” I said, rising from my chair. “I think we’ve covered everything. I just need Kevin’s number and I’m gone.” Gia got her phone and wrote down the number. “Thanks. And if you think of anything, anything useful, please call me.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
After she walked me to the door, I turned around and held out my hand for her to shake. “It was nice finally meeting you. I’m just sorry it happened under these circumstances.”
She stared down at my hand, but after a second she did shake it. “Me too.” I turned and walked down the wooden steps before she called, “Iris?” I spun around. “When you see Billy, tell him…” She swallowed. “Tell him…” She swallowed again and rolled her eyes. “Tell him he owes me two grand.” With that she retreated into her trailer, letting the door slam behind her.
Yeah, she still loved him. No doubt there. And despite the digs—hell, maybe because of them—I actually liked her. She was just sticking up for the man she loved. I respected that. Give me a strong ball-busting woman over a meek lady any day of the damn week. Billy needed someone like her. Someone to push him, challenge him, be strong when he couldn’t be. Hell, that’s what everyone needs in a partner.
Darkness at the Edge of Town Page 9
