I pulled into the Sheriff’s parking lot and gathered the files Hancock had given me. Procuring them was illegal, and I didn’t want to leave any proof of his malfeasance out in the world. Joyce sat behind her counter typing on her computer, as always. Her face fell in shock when she saw me. “Iris!”
“Hey. I just need to drop off—”
“Go on back,” she said, buzzing me in. “He’s been waiting for you.”
“What?”
“Go on,” she said. “He’s fit to be tied.”
Wonderful, I thought. What have I done now?
I trudged into the bullpen, where both twenty-something deputies eyed me with concern. Hancock couldn’t have still been angry with me about the farm. I’d called and given him the all-clear. Whatever was going on, I was so emotionally beaten down I just planned to let him yell at me without a word of protest. I didn’t have an ounce of fight left in me. I knocked on his door. “What?” he snapped.
Not good. “It’s Iris,” I said.
“Come in,” he replied. I did and instantly wished I hadn’t. One look at his tense, red face and glaring eyes and I considered turning around. “Shut the door.”
I obeyed. “If this is about going to the farm—”
“I just had my ass handed to me by the DEA.”
I did a literal double take as I sat in the chair across from him. “Uh, what?”
“Yeah. A Special Agent Antoine Carmichael in the Pittsburgh field office. Know him?”
“No. What…why is he calling you?”
“Why the hell do you think?”
“What? Mathias?” I asked, suddenly perking up.
“Apparently when I did your fingerprint searches their system flagged this Megan Snyder, then Helen Mitchell. Carmichael called me to see if I’d arrested them, because why the fuck else would I be running their prints?”
Shit. “What did you tell him?”
“The truth, Iris. That there was no official investigation. That I was helping you out because of your brother.” He fell back in his chair. “I-I could lose my job for this, Iris. I could be arrested for accessing files for unofficial reasons. He was pissed, Iris, especially when I told him the shit you pulled today.”
I lost what little strength I had left with that revelation. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-I-I had no idea the DEA was in any way involved. What else did he say?”
“That I was to desist any further investigations and rein you in. Arrest you if need be.”
“And you had no idea they were conducting an investigation in your county?” I asked.
“No. None. And believe me, I brought that fact up.”
My mind spun a million times an hour. The group was being investigated for drug offenses. For how long? How much did the DEA have on the members? Did Billy know anything nefarious was transpiring? “I’ll sort this out. You won’t get in trouble. I promise. And here.” I gave him the files back. “I came to give these back anyway. And say goodbye.”
“Wait. You’re leaving?” Hancock asked.
“Yeah. I…” I shook my head.
“What the hell happened on that farm, Iris?”
I sighed, then scoffed. “Just keep an eye on them. Especially now. If the DEA’s involved, things will get real fucking messy real fast. When I looked into Mathias’s eyes…” I shook my head.
“Are those people in danger, Iris?” Hancock asked severely.
“I don’t know. Maybe not today, but I have no doubt that fucker is capable of doing anything to get what he wants.”
“And Billy’s still there? You left him there? That’s not like you. If this guy has you running with your tail between your legs…you’re scaring the shit out of me, girl.”
“Just keep an eye on them. Discreetly.” I stood from the chair. “And don’t let them know I’m the reason you are. Please.”
“Iris, what—”
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I’ll get you out of it, okay, if I have to call in every favor I’ve ever collected. This won’t fall on you. I promise.” I smiled sadly. “It was really good seeing you again, sir. Truly. I meant every word I said last night. I wouldn’t have become me without you. For better or worse.”
“Iris—”
“Bye.” I turned around before he could see the tears forming again. I couldn’t look at the deputies or Joyce as I hurried out of the station, not even when Joyce called to me.
I climbed into the safety of my car and began breathing heavily again in an attempt to stave off the tears. Another person I’d let down. Gotten into trouble. He could have lost his job. He could have gone to prison. Everyone in law enforcement did it, searching for unofficial reasons—hell, I had multiple times—but it was still a crime. God, I was ruining everyone’s lives. I was a black hole. I stopped one serial killer and I suddenly thought I was invincible. That I was the big damn hero everyone told me I was. What the hell was the point of being a hero if I couldn’t save the people I loved?
I didn’t know how to save Billy, but I could damn well save the sheriff. I got my cellphone and turned it back on. I’d shut it off after I called Hancock with the all-clear. I just wanted to get lost and be alone. To think. It hadn’t done a lick of good. I had three voicemails.
“Iris, why the hell is your phone off?” Hancock asked in the first message. “I just had a very angry, threatening call from the DE-fucking-A. You need to call me the moment you get this. I mean it. Call me.”
Number two. “Dr. Ballard, this is Special Agent Antoine Carmichael with the Pittsburgh branch of the DEA. I have just spoken to Grey County Sheriff Tim Hancock and he informed me you have been investigating The New Morning Movement. I respectfully request you stop any further investigation and call me at (412) 555-6757. Thank you.” As with Hancock, I could hear the undercurrent of anger in his voice. The same undercurrent in the next message.
“Iris, it’s Luke. I just got a call from a DEA agent in Pittsburgh asking if you were working for the FBI on something called The New Morning Movement. What the hell is going on? I-I’m…” He took a second to compose himself. “Please call me. Just call me. Please.”
That. That was what I’d been trying to avoid this whole time. Him worried about me. Getting drawn into my shit. Hearing the fear in his voice literally turned my stomach. I didn’t want to talk to him, but I so did want to talk to him. I had since the moment I reached town.
“Iris?” my best friend asked on the other end of the phone.
“Luke?” I asked, voice cracking.
“Are you okay? What is going on?”
“I-I-I’m…” I wiped my tears. “I’ve fucked everything up, Luke. I’ve fucked everything up. I-I-I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can fix it. I—”
“Iris,” Luke said, his voice as hard as a diamond. “Listen to me. Take a breath. Take a deep breath.” I obeyed. It did clear my mind about 5 percent. “Are you in danger?”
“No, not physically…”
“Tell me what is going on right now.”
So I did. I finally did. I began with Mom’s phone call, meeting the group, the interviews, that horrible evening at The Temple, Billy, all through the day’s events. Hell, I even threw in my confrontations with Merrill, Elliot, and Mom. The only detail I left out was kissing Paul. If it had been relevant I’d tell him, but I prayed it never became relevant. I was trying not to sob by the end of my recitation, narrowly succeeding.
His end was silent by the end of my monologue. My gut grew tighter with every passing second. I’d studied for decades how to anticipate what people would say or do next. To get into their psyche. In those horrid seconds, I had no idea what would happen next. “Luke?” I whispered. “Please say something.”
“I’m just, I’m…”
I closed my eyes. “Go on, say it.”
He sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
“I didn’t want you to worry. I thought I could handle it.”
“You didn’t me want
to…” He paused. “You lied to known cultists. You went into hostile territory without backup. Fuck worrying me.” I’d really pissed him off if he was swearing. “God knows what could have happened to you.”
“I wasn’t in danger, Luke.”
“You weren’t in…That bastard threatened you.”
“Not with violence.”
“Yet. You went into your meeting blind. You knew nothing about him. He could have multiple murders on his record.”
“It’s my brother, Luke,” I whispered. “He has my brother.”
“Your life is just as important as his.”
“Says the man who was shot three times to rescue me,” I pointed out.
He was quiet again. “What are you going to do?”
I sniffled. “Go home? What can I do? He threatened my grandparents. He threatened you.”
“An idle threat. There have been rumors for years about that night. He has no proof. The case was closed. And with what we just accomplished with Shepherd, the FBI won’t want to reopen it. It’d be our word against some cult leader already under investigation. What did your grandparents say?”
“They want Billy home. Safe. No matter the cost. What else would they say?”
“At least we know where you inherited your chivalry streak from,” Luke said. “Okay, what do you want to do?”
“Want?” I chuckled wryly. “I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to hug my dog. I never want to see this fucking town again.”
“Right,” he said curtly. “So you’re leaving?”
“That was the plan.” I scoffed. “Until the DEA threatened my friend. Seems to be the theme of the day.” I flopped my head back on the headrest. “What did this Carmichael guy say to you?”
“He wanted to know if you were working a case on The New Morning Movement for the FBI. I checked; the FBI has nothing on them whatsoever. Then he asked me to call and get you to drop it. You really pissed him off, Iris.”
“So what else is new?” I sighed. “So what should I do? I promised Hancock I’d sort this out. I have to sort this out, Luke. I can’t fail another person. I can’t.”
“Okay, what you’re going to do is call Carmichael and set up an appointment today to compare notes. Just make sure the appointment is after four thirty. My GPS says I won’t be in Pittsburgh until four.”
I sat up straight. “Wait, what?”
“I just crossed into Pennsylvania, and there shouldn’t be traffic, but—”
“Are-Are you coming here? Right now? Luke, that’s insane. Turn around. You don’t have to—”
“This Carmichael is bound to be more malleable if you’re with a member of the FBI. And I actually know the ASAC in that office. He’s an old friend of my father’s. I just wanted to speak to you before I called him. He—”
“Luke, turn around. What about work?”
“I took a half day today and took tomorrow off already. I have four weeks of vacation days and comp time saved up if I need to take it.”
“You…This. This is why I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to drop everything to ride in and save me. Remember what happened last time?”
“Yeah. We stopped a serial killer,” he countered.
“This is my mess, Luke. Mine.”
“And you dropped everything two months ago to help me clean up mine. That’s what we do, Iris. Partners, remember? Family? I’m coming. We’ll speak to this Carmichael and go from there.” He paused. “We’ll figure this out, okay? Together. I don’t want to hear another word about it. I’m going to be at that office no matter what. So just say, ‘Thank you, Luke.’ ”
Fresh tears sprung into my eyes. “Thank you, Luke,” I whispered.
“Call me as soon as you have an appointment time. See you soon. Bye.” He hung up.
More tears fell, but for the first time that day they weren’t from fury or hopelessness, they were from relief. It was as if three hundred pounds had lifted from my body and soul. There was hope. It still might not work out, I still might have failed, but at least there was a chance.
I immediately called the curt Agent Carmichael and set up an appointment for four thirty to hand over all my notes and recordings, then called Luke to confirm the time before starting my car and driving back home. I rang the doorbell, and when Grandma opened it, I said, “I’m sorry” and hugged her. She’s always initiated the hugs, so she stood tense for a moment before hugging me back. I looked over her shoulder to my stoic grandfather standing in the living room. “I’m so sorry.”
“We know,” Grandma whispered before kissing my hair.
“I don’t know if I can save him,” I whispered. “I don’t. But I promise to fight for him…until I can’t.”
“We know,” Grandpa said.
“And even if you don’t, we know you tried your best. And we love you and are so proud of you. No matter what.”
I was lucky. I was so lucky to have them. To have family like them. To have friends like Hancock and Carol and Luke to help me. I should have learned from my two years in self-imposed exile. I’d always considered myself a lone wolf. Me against the world. I didn’t need anything or anyone. Other people were just icing on the cake, great but in the end unnecessary. But I was wrong. They were the flour. The sugar. The butter. They helped make me who I was. I wouldn’t be without them. Even Billy. And if that was true for me, then it was true for him. We were a part of each other. We needed each other. Because who wanted to live in a world without cake?
Chapter 12
As I sat in the reception area of the DEA’s Pittsburgh office, my leg would not stop twitching. This was a common sight in the waiting room of any law enforcement office, but mine was going wild not because I was about to face my unlawful mistakes. No, I was about to leap out of my skin because my mind wouldn’t let me stop running through scenarios about when I set eyes on Luke. Since our phone call, the only communication was a text saying he’d arrived at the office ten minutes before I did. I had no real reason to be nervous, I knew that, but I still didn’t know it. Our names—hell, our reputations—were tied together. Me acting an ass reflected badly on him. It could even ruin his career. He’d help me clear up the current madness and drive away, never to speak to me again until my next mess.
For the third time in fifteen minutes, I pulled out my compact to check my hair and makeup. I’d chosen my look very carefully, going for a professional yet feminine style with my pleated gray skirt, peach silk blouse, and white cardigan with soft makeup. They expected a dragon lady and I was giving them a librarian. I looked damn good. Pretty, even.
Judging from Luke’s expression and warm smile when he walked into reception with three other men, I think he agreed. My savior was no slouch himself. It was somehow always surprising how fucking gorgeous he was. Even after hours of driving, his golden-orange hair didn’t have a strand out of place besides the hint of cowlick he could never seem to tame, and there wasn’t a hint of stubble on his square jaw. He was more casual than usual in his jeans, white shirt, and black sports jacket, but he matched the other three men. The DEA had a looser dress code than the FBI, so the muscular fifty-something bald African American man with a goatee, thirty-something Latino, and sixty-something white-haired, trim white gentleman wore similar business-casual garb. Three of the four greeted me with a smile, but Mr. Goatee, who I assumed was Agent Carmichael, just kept his mouth set straight. In the moment, I didn’t give two shits what he thought about me. Luke practically glowed when our eyes locked. Mine may have too.
“Dr. Ballard, so sorry to keep you waiting,” White Hair said as they strode toward me. He held out his hand. “I’m ASAC Ted Echolls. It is a real honor to meet you, ma’am.”
I shook his hand. “You as well.” I nodded to Luke. “Agent Hudson.”
“Dr. Ballard,” Luke said with a light smirk.
I looked at Bachelor Number Two. “And you are?”
“Agent Ben Lucerno. A pleasure,” the Latino man said.
Then cam
e the dour one. “And you must be the man whose toes I accidentally stepped on. A million apologies for any trouble I may have caused. Had I or Sheriff Hancock known we’d stumbled into an active investigation we would have ceased our own immediately. It was just a shame we didn’t know.” My tone, my words, and smile were all pleasant, but Carmichael’s mouth twitched. “But I’m sure you had your reasons.”
Luke cleared his throat. “Sorry. Shall we? I feel my caffeine rush waning already.”
“Yes,” Echolls said. “Right this way, Dr. Ballard.”
Most people think that elite law enforcement agents work in cutting-edge offices with banks of computers, televisions, and Google Glass everywhere. That sadly isn’t the case. Most have dull, ordinary offices with depressing cubicles and years-old computers. The Pittsburgh District Office was no different. Just a bunch of people talking on phones, typing reports, and chatting while drinking coffee. No one paid us any attention as we went to the small conference room with only a file and laptop inside. “Can I get you some coffee or water, Dr. Ballard?” Echolls asked.
“Goodness no. Any more caffeine today and I’ll be able to rocket home on my own steam,” I chuckled. “But thank you for the offer.”
Luke momentarily smirked. He knew my game right away. Kill them with kindness until it was time to pull out the knife and do it for real. I hoped it wouldn’t come to such drastic measures, but a good Girl Scout was prepared for any eventuality.
I took the seat nearest the door and Luke sat beside me, with the DEA contingent across the small, circular table. “And thank you for letting me sit in on this meeting, Ted,” Luke said.
“Yes, Agent Hudson told me you’re old friends with Stanton,” I said pleasantly.
“Yeah, we worked on one of the Medellín task forces a million years ago when we were young Turks like you two,” Echolls said. “We went on vacation together a few times too.”
“You taught me to snorkel,” Luke said with pride.
We all chuckled save for Carmichael. His mouth grew tighter. “Uh, can we begin?” Carmichael asked.
“Yes. Of course,” I said, sitting up straight. “Let me just begin by apologizing again for any problems I may have caused. Sheriff Hancock as well. We truly had no idea anyone was investigating New Morningism. As I said, had the sheriff known, I would have ceased my personal investigation and left it in your capable hands,” I lied. That so wouldn’t have happened.
Darkness at the Edge of Town Page 22
