by Sarah Morgan
'OK.' He cleared his throat and pulled himself together, his expression grim. 'Let's get both of them into Resus.'
He scrambled out of the ambulance and sprinted back into the department. 'Nicky—get Tony Maxwell down here now and fast-bleep the first-on anaesthetist.'
He needed someone he trusted to look after his daughter while he concentrated on Keely. No way was he going to let her die. No way.
'Get her connected to an ECG monitor now—if she's inhaled smoke she might have arrhythmias, and let's measure carboxyhaemoglobin.' His instructions were terse. 'And get a line in, Adam. Move!'
Adam worked quickly and Sean Nicholson strode over to the trolley, his expression serious.
'I just heard. What do you want me to do?'
'Check on my daughter,' Zach said through gritted teeth. 'The paramedics told me they thought she was OK so I'm letting someone else deal with her.'
'I'll see to it,' Sean said quickly, moving across Resus to the other trolley.
'OK, Adam.' Zach looked up. 'Let's give her the highest possible concentration of humidified oxygen and get an IV up—we need to maintain circulating blood volume.'
'She's got a nasty burn on her hand,' Nicky said. 'Shall I dress it?'
'Let's get her stable first,' Zach said shortly. 'How are her vital signs?'
'She's doing well,' Adam said quickly. 'Her ECG is normal and her pulse and BP are stable.'
'Phoebe is going to be fine.' Sean appeared by Zach's shoulder. 'No sign of smoke inhalation or burns. I suspect she breathed in and then fell to the ground and that probably saved her. Keely obviously got her out before any lasting damage was done.'
She'd saved his daughter.
Zach pushed the thought away. He couldn't think about that now. He was too busy saving her.
Sean moved closer. 'How's she doing?'
'All right, I think. I want to do a chest X-ray. We've sent off bloods and we need to sort out her hand.'
Sean took a quick look. 'It isn't too bad. Smother it in silver sulphadiazine cream, Nicky, and put it inside a sterile plastic bag.'
Nicky scurried to do as he'd instructed and Zach and Adam finished all the necessary investigations and management before transferring Keely to the ward.
Only once he was satisfied that Keely was stable did Zach return to comfort his daughter, and it was then that it hit him.
He'd nearly lost both of them...
* * *
Her chest hurt.
Keely opened her eyes and blinked several times, her vision blurred as she looked round the sterile hospital room.
'Zach...' Her voice barely functioned, little more than a hoarse croak coming from her lips as she tried to speak.
'I'm right here.' He was by her side in an instant and she felt a rush of panic.
'Phoebe?'
'Alive and well.' A muscle worked in his jaw. 'Thanks to you.'
'Oh, thank God...' She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. 'I really thought...'
She didn't want to tell him what she'd thought, but he read her mind and sat down on the edge of her bed, his hand covering her uninjured one.
'I can imagine what you thought. And I can't thank you enough, Keely.' He rubbed his forehead and shook his head slowly. 'I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how to even begin to thank you.'
'You don't have to thank me. I'm just glad she's all right. I was so worried.' Her voice was getting stronger and she didn't feel anywhere near as bad as she thought she should. 'My throat's sore, Zach.'
'It will be.' He nodded. 'You were intubated.'
Her eyes widened. 'Really?'
'Really.' He gave a tired smile. 'For a while back there it was touch and go. You gave me a fright.'
She closed her eyes and breathed out. 'You poor thing. You must have been so worried about little Phoebe.'
'I was equally worried about you,' he said quietly, his eyes fixed on her face. 'Whatever possessed you to take such a risk, Keely? To go into a burning house? You could have been killed.'
A vivid picture of the heat and the flames filled her mind and she shuddered.
'Don't talk about it—I've never been so scared in my life.'
His jaw tightened. 'But you still did it...'
'I had to find Phoebe.' Her face was serious.
'How did you know she was in there? Barbara said that no one had actually seen her enter the house. You could have been risking your life for nothing.'
'I knew she was in there.' Keely smiled weakly. 'She lost her bear again and she's always dropping it in the playroom. I didn't really have a choice. What if I hadn't gone in, Zach? By the time the fire engines arrived she'd have—'
'Don't!' He interrupted her roughly and shook his head, obviously unable to contemplate such an awful scenario. 'I just can't believe you took such a risk for my daughter.'
'I love her, Zach.'
His eyes locked with hers. 'I owe you so much.'
She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears. 'You don't owe me anything, Zach. I'm just glad she's OK. Where is she now?'
'On the ward. They're keeping her in for observation.'
'I'll pop down and see her later.' Keely looked hesitantly at Zach. 'That's if you don't mind, of course...'
Was he still anxious to keep her away from his daughter?
'Keely, don't!' Zach's voice was gruff and his grip on her hand tightened. 'Don't remind me what a total idiot I've been. Will you ever forgive me?'
He thought he'd been an idiot? What did that mean? What was he saying?
He looked at her steadily, his blue eyes searching every inch of her pale face.
'This really isn't the time or the place, but there's something I need to say to you.' His voice was rough and his grip on her hand tightened.
'Mr Jordan?' The ward sister interrupted them, her expression serious. 'I'm sorry to disturb you but Paeds are on the phone. Your daughter is asking for you—and A and E have phoned twice while you've been up here. There's been a pile-up on the motorway and they're desperate for your help.'
Zach tipped his head back and muttered under his breath while Keely carefully hid her frustration. Obviously she was going to have to wait to find out what he wanted to say to her. The man was being pulled in different directions as usual.
The ward sister looked apologetic. 'What shall I tell Paeds?'
Keely struggled into a sitting position. 'Tell them to bring Phoebe up here. I'll keep her company until her daddy has finished in A and E.' She glanced nervously at Zach. 'If that's OK with you, of course.'
What would he say?
Would he refuse?
Was he still trying to keep her away from his daughter?
'You're not well enough to entertain a toddler.' He frowned at her and she sank back onto her pillows.
'I'll be fine. I want to see her, Zach. The staff here will help—'
'Well, of course we will.' The sister rose to the challenge and gave Keely a wink. 'I've got a niece and nephew of the same age so I'm sure I can cope with your daughter on my ward.'
Zach and Keely exchanged smiles. The woman had no idea of Phoebe's capacity for mischief.
'If you're sure you're up to it...' He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her forehead, a look of frustration crossing his handsome features. 'There's so much I want to say to you but it's obviously going to have to wait. Tell Phoebe I'll be up to see her when I've finished downstairs.'
She stared up at him, her eyes feasting on his firm mouth and his dark jaw. His calm strength surrounded her and she felt deliciously warm and safe after the horrors of the fire.
What did he want to say to her?
Keely watched him go and then closed her eyes, forcing herself not to hope for something that wasn't going to happen. In the meantime, she needed to talk to the doctor. In private. There was something she needed to ask him...
It was several hours later when Zach took the stairs two at a time and pushed open the door to the ward. He'd been in
A and E longer than he'd planned and he was worried about Keely.
'Oh, Mr Jordan.' The ward sister intercepted him, catching his arm and stopping him in mid-stride. 'I'm going to have to ask you to be quiet, I'm afraid. They're both asleep.'
'Asleep?' His brows met in a deep frown and he glanced towards Keely's room. 'My daughter's asleep, too? Did you put another bed in the room?'
The ward sister sighed and gave a rueful smile. 'I'm afraid not. It's against all the rules, of course, but your daughter was fretting so we overlooked it on this occasion. She's asleep in Dr Thompson's bed.'
Zach walked quietly to the side ward and paused in the doorway, something squeezing his heart as he stared at his daughter who was fast asleep, her sweet little body cuddled against Keely.
And Keely was asleep, too, each Of them holding the other tightly.
'Phoebe's a very lucky girl, Mr Jordan,' the ward sister said softly, her eyes resting on the pair in the bed. 'To have someone who loves her as much as that. Dr Thompson's in a great deal of pain but she insisted on reading to your daughter and cuddling her in the bed. When she heard that you were still busy downstairs she was determined that the child would sleep with her until you were available.'
For the first time in his adult life Zach felt a lump building in his throat, and gave a cough to clear it.
'You're right, of course,' he said gruffly. 'Phoebe is lucky.'
Totally exhausted from the events of the day, he gave a nod of thanks to the ward sister and stepped quietly into the darkened room.
He wanted to make sure that he was there when they both woke up.
Still half-asleep Keely suddenly realised that she was hot and then bit back a gasp of pain as a little body wriggled onto her burnt arm.
'OK, young lady...' Zach's deep voice came from right beside her and almost immediately Phoebe was lifted out of the bed. 'Sorry about that. I was waiting for her to wake up but I must have drifted off. Are you all right?'
Keely winced and managed a smile. 'I'm great,' she lied, trying to ignore the pain in her throat, her chest and her hand.
'Keekee hurt,' Phoebe said solemnly, her thumb in her mouth. 'Keekee poorly. Daddy cuggle Keekee.'
Keely met Zach's piercing gaze and immediately looked away, a hot flush spreading over her cheeks. Help. She didn't need the matchmaking attempts of a toddler, that was for sure!
'Daddy cuggle,' Phoebe said firmly, and Zach gave a grin and sat down on the edge of the bed, his daughter on his lap.
'Everyone seems to be matchmaking, don't they? First Ally and now Phoebe. Maybe it's time we listened to them.' He put his fingers under her chin and forced her to look at him. 'There's something I want to say to you and I need to do it quickly before A and E or some other wretched department rings and tries to drag me away.'
Her heart started to thump. 'Wh-what?'
'I want to tell you about Catherine. It's time you knew the truth.' Zach's expression was grim and he lifted his daughter off the bed in an easy movement. 'You, young lady, are going to play with the nurses for five minutes while I talk to Keely.'
Keely watched him leave the room, her brain totally jumbled. What was he going to say? She wasn't sure she could stand hearing him tell her just how much he'd loved his wife. She just wasn't up to it.
He returned a few minutes later without Phoebe and closed the door firmly behind him.
Instead of sitting on the bed, he walked over to the window, his body tense as he looked out over the mountains.
'I don't really know where to start, except to say that what I'm going to tell you now is between you and me.' His voice was low and she had to strain to hear him. 'I've never said this to anyone else and I don't ever want Phoebe to find out the truth.'
Keely stared at him. Find out what? What didn't he want Phoebe to find out about? What was the man talking about?
'After I finished my surgical job with your father I took another surgical job in a different London hospital, and that's where I met Catherine.' There was a slight pause. 'She was an orthopaedic surgeon and a very good one. In fact, she was brilliant. I admired her work, we went out a few times and then one night we'd both had a bit too much to drink and—well, let's just say that the result was Phoebe. She was a complete accident.'
Keely lay still, wanting to ask questions but not knowing where to start.
'But...I thought you were in love with her?'
'Well, I wasn't.' Zach turned round to face her, his broad shoulders blocking out most of the light in the little room. 'We were just colleagues really. But I respected her and we had plenty in common—or so I thought. I really believed we could make it work.'
'She was pleased to be pregnant?'
'Pleased? Catherine?' Zach gave a laugh that rang with bitterness. 'Catherine was a career-woman, through and through. She'd made up her mind never to have children. She was even considering being sterilised but, of course, I didn't know that when I met her. So, no, she was not pleased when she found out she was pregnant. She wanted a termination.'
Keely gasped, her eyes wide with horror. 'Oh, Zach...'
'I talked her out of it.' Zach's voice was gruff. 'I promised that I'd help, that she could still work, that we could have a nanny for some of the time. I asked her to marry me.'
Keely swallowed. 'And she did...'
'Yes, she did.' Zach sighed and rubbed his fingers over his rough jaw. 'But it was a mistake. I thought that once the baby arrived she'd settle down, but she was back at work two days after Phoebe was born.'
Keely gaped at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. 'Two days?'
'Shocking, isn't it? She hired a nursery nurse and went back to work—full time.' Zach's expression was grim and his blue eyes were suddenly hard. 'And when I say full time, I mean full time. She was never at home.'
Keely was finding it hard to grasp. 'But Phoebe...'
Zach gave a derisive laugh. 'She wasn't interested in Phoebe. She didn't want to be with Phoebe. As far as Catherine was concerned, Phoebe was just something that could ruin her career. Catherine wasn't there when she took her first step or when she said her first word—and she didn't care.'
'Zach, I'm so sorry.' Keely's voice was soft. She found it impossible to imagine anyone not being interested in their child. 'So what happened?'
He shrugged. 'Catherine spent less and less time at home so I spent more time at home to compensate. In the end I gave up on a career in surgery and switched to A and E because the hours were better. It meant that on most days I could be home to bath Phoebe and we had most weekends together.'
'And what happened to Catherine?'
Zach's jaw tightened. 'We muddled along for a while and then she accepted a job in the States—'
'The States? You mean America?' Keely's voice was a horrified squeak and he gave a wry smile.
'Why not? She was offered a plum position in Boston and she decided to move.'
Keely shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. 'And leave her family?'
He shrugged. 'As far as Catherine was concerned, she didn't have a family. We were just a hindrance. By then our marriage had totally disintegrated and we barely saw each other. Even when she wasn't working she spent most of her time at the hospital.'
'So she moved to America?'
'No.' He shook his head. 'A week before she was due to go she was called out to a major accident on the motorway. She crashed in the fog. And that was it.'
Keely closed her eyes. 'Oh, Zach...'
'And do you know the hardest thing of all?' Zach's voice was conversational, as if he were talking about the weather, not the death of his wife. 'The fact that everyone felt sorry for me. They all assumed I must be devastated. And I wasn't. It was a tragedy of course—for her. But for us?' He paused and shook his head slowly. 'It sounds callous, I know, but in a way her death made it easier for me and for Phoebe. But, of course, no one knew that.'
'No. They couldn't possibly have understood.' She lifted her eyes to his, k
nowing that everything she felt for him was there for him to see. 'But I understand. Telling Phoebe that her mother died when she was little is going to be so much easier than telling her that her mother never wanted her and had moved to the other side of the world.'
His eyes locked with hers. 'Precisely.'
She took a deep breath. It was almost too much to take in.
He hadn't loved Catherine.
'We did all assume that you were devastated because you lost your wife,' she said, struggling to sit more upright in the bed. 'We all assumed you loved her so much you could never love another woman again.'
'I know what people assumed.' He gave a shrug. 'And I let them carry on with their false assumptions. It protected Phoebe from the truth. That our marriage was a sham and her mother didn't want her.'
Keely was still confused. 'But you told me that you had nothing left to give any woman after Catherine,' she asked quietly. 'I don't understand. If you weren't grieving for your wife, what was stopping you having a relationship with someone else?'
'A lack of trust. After everything that happened with Catherine I wasn't in a hurry to trust another woman again. Phoebe's happiness was at stake.' Zach paced across the room, his hands thrust deep into his pockets. 'And I suppose the truth was that I never met anyone I was remotely interested in.' He stopped dead and lifted his head to look at her. 'Until you came back into my life.'
Suddenly the room went very still and Keely forgot to breathe.
What was he saying?
'I tried to keep you at a distance but the chemistry between us is so strong it was impossible...' His voice was hoarse and his eyes burned into hers. 'Let's be honest for a moment. There was always something between us, Keely. Always. Even when you were young, we connected. When I came to stay in your house it was you that I enjoyed spending time with.'
She gave an awkward laugh. 'I was an irritating teenager—'
'No.' He shook his head and walked towards her. 'You were never that. You were smiley and enthusiastic and ridiculously caring about everything and everyone around you. When you proposed to me that night I suddenly realised that you were growing up fast. Frighteningly fast.'
