by JJ Jones
I didn’t know what to do. I started to sputter and spit, trying to make him understand that he wasn’t looking for me. “You must be mistaken.”” I tried to say it, but it didn’t work quite right.
“No, not at all.” His eyes won the war for my gaze and they seemed so desperately deep. I didn’t know what to do about it, but felt myself starting to fall.
I grabbed the table to steady myself before I realized that I wasn’t physically falling. “You can’t be serious.” It was a nervous scoff, not exactly a statement that anyone would find worthy of believing.
“I am. I hope that I get a chance to know you better.”
“You’re insane.” I pulled myself out of his eyes to examine his face, trying to find some indication of duplicitous intent.
I found none, but that didn’t make me feel any better as he reached across the table, brushing the tips of his fingers across my hands. There were no callouses hidden under the skin. It was soft, like a suede glove. I shuddered at his touch. “Are you alright?””
“As good as I can be.” This felt too good to be true. I knew that there had to be something terribly wrong with him. I was starting to convince myself that this man was some sort of serial killer, the type of man who seemed so innocent at first. Jeffrey Dahmer that must be it. This guy could be that man’s son or something. “Who are you?”
“My name is Alistair.” His golden voice seemed to echo in my mind.
“What kind of name is Alistair?” I had never heard anything like that before.
“Not a very common one, I’m afraid.” He looked amused. “That’s not the first time I’ve gotten that reaction.”
“Well, then why don’t you go by Al or something like that?” It was a stupid question. Before that point, I didn’t believe in stupid questions, but I just broke that rule. I wanted to slap myself in the head, but couldn’t quell my stationary embarrassment enough to make the motion occur.
“I like my name.” He chuckled again and I noticed exactly how appealing that sound was. I wanted to hear it rattle gently into my brain over and over again, so that I could relish in the dancing my eardrums were engaging in at that moment.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean --” I felt scandalized, my eyes widened and my pulse quickened once again. There was something about the way that he looked at me; it felt like I was being stabbed by a thousand different physical sensations. I do not know how to explain it, not in the slightest, but he made it feel like my skin was tingling.
“It’s fine.” His chuckle deepened into something more, a bit heartier.
His laugh ripened more guilt in my chest. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. It’s a really nice name.”
“You just don’t hear it that often.” He finished my sentence. “I’ve heard that before. It happens a lot with unusual names.”
“I didn’t mean to---“
He reached across the table as I started to sputter out another apology. His eyes took hold of mine, bright and warm, enfolding my mind. “I know that. Trust me, this isn’t the worst time I’ve had here.”
“I don’t spend a lot of time here.” I tried to go along with what he was saying and I was struggling to find some way to change the subject. That was the best that I could think of, and because of that, I was deeply embarrassed.
“I don’t either, but it’s a nice place to stroll.”
“Parking is a nightmare and expensive, though.” I commented, trying to watch his reaction.
He just frowned. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“How do you not notice them gouging you like that?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s not something I think about.” His eyes searched the area behind me, as if he was looking for something.
“I should go.” I had been nervous and couldn’t think of any way to force the conversation to continue.
“Are you free on Friday?” He rose to walk me out of the building.
I didn’t know how to answer. I hadn’t been expecting it in the slightest. I was absolutely certain that he wasn’t ever going to want to see me again. ““I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.”
“I was wondering what you were doing on Friday?” He asked it again, reaching toward me with one hand.
There was a flash of white in his hand. “What’s that?”
“I’m not trying to attack you. It’s just my card.” He held it so the face was visible to me. It was plain and white with delicate black letters in a scrawling font. It made it look like it was older than it was, but the clean white starched cardstock implied its newness.
“How do you keep your card so nice?” It was a silly question, but it gave me a few seconds to read what was on the paper being held in front of me.
“I have a card holder.” He seemed to understand that I was stalling for time before I touched the card. For some reason, it felt a little strange to take the item out of his hand. I was sure that it wasn’t poisoned, but for some reason my hand reacted like it might be.
As I read, I realized what was on the card. It took me a long moment to figure out how I was going to word my response, but it popped out half-formed anyway. “Alistair Pendragon? Are you related to King Arthur?”
He grinned. “Another question that I’ve gotten asked a thousand times. He doesn’t actually exist. You know that, right?””
“I didn’t.”
“My great grandparents changed the name when they came to this country.” He explained. “I don’t remember what it was originally, but it must have been similar.”
I was still amused by the name. “Really, that’s what they chose?”
“Apparently, it amused the immigration agent.” He shrugged. “I’ve always gotten a kick out of it. I usually gets people to look twice at me.” He gestured with the card. “I would love if you would give me a call if you want to get together sometime.”
I felt a bit more relaxed. “I think I would like that.” He walked me to my car and I excused myself, ready to say goodbye. There was a moment there that I could feel the presence of an imminent kiss, but it never happened. Instead, I climbed into my car and drove off. It took me two blocks to begin to wonder if I should text him or call him first. I wasn’t used to these new rules of our world. It had been too long since I had dated.
I didn’t understand the rules the last time I had dated and I sure didn’t understand them with Alistair. I had met him in the strangest way and wasn’t exactly comfortable enough with myself to fully understand the situation. It was one of those things that didn’t seem to change. A lack of personal security, and I still wasn’t sure if I was going to call Alistair. It all felt like it was some strange dream, and that I was going to wake up at any moment and have to force my way through that day at work all over again. I didn’t want it to be a dream.
CHAPTER TWO
Something made me call him. I don’t know what made me do it. Maybe it was curiosity, boredom, or some strange uncontrolled impulse. I don’t know what made me do it, but the truth is that this story would be a lot shorter if I hadn’t made that choice, but I made it, and there wasn’t much that I could do about it.
The date was set for Friday. I was going to meet him that evening at a local restaurant, a small intimate location that was known for a menu more expensive than my budget allowed, but it didn’t matter, he had promised to pay. Still, I was bringing some money, hoping that he wasn’t going to stick me with the bill. I had some in savings, so I knew that I would be able to cover it, but still my palms were sweating and my heart was racing as we got closer and closer to the fateful evening. My first date in almost two years and I didn’t know what to do. When I got home from work that day, I found myself pacing, trying to figure out where to start. I didn’t know where I needed to begin to get what I wanted. All I knew was that a handsome man had gone out of his way to seek me out.
I had talked to Barbie that week; she had been turned down by the man from the ad. He had said that he had already found the girl that
he was looking for. She had questioned everyone incessantly, trying to draw out the identity of the woman that he had been looking for. I didn’t say a word, but I was sure that she suspected me. I tried to ignore it and go about my week, forcing myself to focus on my job and then go out with this handsome man on my weekend.
My hands were shaking as I put the dress that I had picked out the night before back in the closet and removed another one. I didn’t really have anything that would cut the mustard in a place like that and I worried because I knew how out of place I was going to look. At least that’s what I was thinking about. It didn’t take me long to give up and pick up my phone. “I can’t make it tonight.” I sent the text out, hoping that he would just forget about me.
“Is something wrong? Can I help?” The response was quick, earnest and I could hear his voice saying the words in my head.
“No, nothing. I’ve just got a personal problem.” I was searching my mind for some kind of excuse to tell him, something that would help him realize that it wasn’t his fault. I wasn’t built for dates like that. It was not who I was.
“Do you need anything?” I imagined him asking with great concern in my mind, and I couldn’t help but feel a little more than guilty. The truth was that I had no idea what was going on in his head or what the look of his face was, but that didn’t stop my mind from telling me that I had broken his heart and that he would blame me forever. It was silly, I know that, but it didn’t change the fact that I had this awful picture in my mind. I couldn’t get it out of my head.
“No, I’m sorry. I just can’t go.” I wanted him to stop, to accept my words and schedule something different.
“That’s fine. I don’t want to push, but is there another day that would work better for you.”
My heart jumped into my throat. “I don’t know.” It was the truth. I was afraid of going someplace that was so far beyond the place that I lived.
“I’m sorry if I bothered you.” The text was apologetic. “Let me know if you want to reschedule.”
I stared at that reply for almost five minutes before responding. “It’s not you.” I sighed while I typed, falling for the standard women guilt. ““I’m just not used to dating anymore.”
“Is there a place that would be easier for you?” He asked. I noticed that he was one of the few other people that I knew who would actually text with reasonable grammar and proper spelling. Well, his grammar was still better than mine was. I would forget punctuation if I wasn’t paying attention to it. He never seemed to do that.
“What do you mean?”
“I just want to make you more comfortable.” It was a sweet reply.
I smiled at the thought. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous.”
“Why?”
I stared at the screen again. I had no idea how to answer, what truth to tell him, but I knew that I had to say something. “I’ve never been to a restaurant like that.” It was an easy truth to tell. It was by no means the entire problem, but it was enough to make my point.
“We’ll go someplace else.” He promised me. “Where would you like to go?”
“I have no idea.” It was the truth.
“I’ve got an idea. Would you like to come with me to Worlds of Fun tomorrow, if you’re free?”
“I’m free, that sounds like fun.”
He sent a smiley face and it felt a little odd to get it from him. “I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
“You don’t even know where I live.” I reminded him. After a few more moments of conversation, I gave him my address and we set a time.
The next morning he was at my door at exactly ten in the morning, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. It was perfect timing as I slipped my tennis shoes on my feet and locked the door behind me. He was smiling; a beaming look that spoke of something deep inside, a kind of happiness that no one was able to take away.
“I’m glad that we could work it out,” he told me and the truth was, I was starting to feel that way too.
He led me down to a town car in my parking lot. I climbed into the passenger seat and he started to drive. The vehicle had all of the amenities that came with luxury vehicles. I had gotten hints of his financial status before, but this car just seemed to seal l the deal, still, it looked like one of the cars that you hire with a man in a suit driving. Still, it was a nice change from the used car I normally owned.
“I’m glad too.” I forced a smile, trying to keep my stomach from rebelling and my breakfast from exploding all over the dash.
“Are you sure about that?” The question was a joke.
“Well at least I hope that I will be.” I shrugged. “I guess we’ll just see how it goes.”
“I didn’t think that I’d ever take a date to an amusement park.” He shook his head as he navigated the tiny streets of my neighborhood. I didn’t live in a fancy or expensive part of town and there were potholes and scattered obstacles in the street. It wasn’t exactly the slums, but it wasn’t a place where middle class people lived. Everyone, city services and parties, avoided my neighborhood. I was grateful for my older neighbors, they were quiet and on fixed incomes and they liked me because I would help them out when they needed someone to carry groceries or run an errand. It was a nice place.
“It’s going to be fine. It’s a better date than some fancy, shmancy restaurant, anyway.” I shrugged, then immediately regretted it. It was a little elitist of me, I’ll admit that, but still it was the way I felt.
“I know, but I’m pretty good at figuring out something pretty quickly. I’m glad I didn’t scare you off completely.” He glanced over at me, it was one of those quick looks that meant something, but I couldn’t figure it out.
I looked at the road as well. It was quickly becoming one of those awkward moments. “Look, this doesn’t have to be weird.”
“I was hoping that it wouldn’t be. I’ve had enough weird dates, haven’t you?”
I cleared my throat, a tiny harrumph as I thought about how to answer the question. “I haven’t dated in a while.”
“I gathered as much.” He shrugged, not really giving much importance to what I was saying. “I don’t think that really matters. You can date or not date whomever you want. I’m just glad you agreed to come out with me.”
“I didn’t think I would.” It was honest and I still have no idea why I said it. It just kind of fell out of my mouth, like an unchewed bit of broccoli slipping out while I was trying to sink my teeth into it.
“It must be strange. It all feels kind of strange to me as well.” His voice was formal and warm at the same time. I wondered how that happened. I didn’t even know that it was possible. I had never heard anything like it and I was starting to think about how much more of it I would like to hear as I examined the man. He was handsome. There was no doubt that he wasn’t lacking in dates if he wanted one. He belonged on the cover of a magazine, not next to me. I searched for flaws, but couldn’t find any from the parts that I could expect. He had a nice tan, reaching up to under his shirtsleeves and into his collar and I couldn’t help but to wonder how deep it went. Was he tanned all over? Part of me was itching to find out.
I struggled to focus as he pulled into the parking lot, but as soon as we got through the gates, something amazing happened. I screamed on the roller coasters, I ate food that I would never have thought about touching. He watched me with a smile on his face. I didn’t know why, but I had a blast. And I didn’t throw up on his shoes, I’m quite proud about that. We had fun, not worrying about conversation and the nervous tension that normally follows first dates around, instead just enjoying the day, two adults at an amusement park.
We had a lot of fun, enjoying ourselves and as we left, I hung my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I had a blast.”
He drew in a ragged breath and reached his arms around me to hug me back. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun.” He was smiling, but it was a little odd, as if he was holding something back.
I r
eleased him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“No, it’s fine.” His smile returned to normal. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Is there anything else you want to do?”
“No, no, this was a lot of fun and I’ll be talking about it for ages.” I waved my hands in his direction, emphasizing my point with the physical motion.
“That makes me happier than you’ll ever know.” He spoke under his breath. He cleared the words from his throat and continued. “I’d like to get together again.”
“That would be nice.” I grinned and we climbed into the car. “I’m not ready for this to end.”
“We can go someplace else,” he suggested and I took him up on his offer. I do not know how we ended up back at his hotel, but we were there. We sat on the couch in the front room of his suite and it all felt a little strange. I thought that I was going to be a lot more nervous than I was. I looked at him, and for a moment, I forgot about the conversation. I did not know what he was talking about and frankly, I didn’t care. He leaned forward a bit, my heart started to pound and I was convinced that he was going to kiss me, but instead he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table and leaned back.
I was disappointed, but not entirely surprised. My mind tends to get ahead of itself sometimes. My eyes searched the room, looking for some sort of anchor to hold my attention from the ideas that were rummaging through my head, but there was nothing in the fancy stainless steel chandelier, or the television remote that wasn’t chained to the television.
I studied the coffee table; it was glass with some design etched into it. It looked like a mixture of vines and flowers and I didn’t really understand why someone would do that. I wasn’t exactly aware of what was happening, but my mind started to wander over the contents of that room, surrounded by pale beige walls with white heavy curtains built to block outside light. I looked at everything except for the man next to me.
“Is something wrong? Do you want to leave?” He made the offer, but even in my distracted state, he didn’t want me to take it.
