They walked along together. “Anything I can help you with?”
“Unless you can explain women to me, I think not.” Legs aching from the strenuous ride, Markus struggled to keep up with George.
Laughing, George slapped him on the back. “On one hand, it’s good to hear you have such troubles, my lord. On the other, I feel for you. Women are too complicated to ever fathom.”
“Do you think a man can truly love two women in his lifetime?” Markus wished he could take the question back but the thought that plagued him popped out before he could stop it. There was something kind and easy about George that made talking to him natural.
George stopped and kicked the dirt road. “I think the heart has an infinite ability to love. Is that what’s troubling you?”
He had gone this far in embarrassing himself; he might as well take the next step. “If I love Phoebe, does that mean I did not truly love my Emma? Or if my love for Emma was pure, how can I love Phoebe the way she deserves?”
“Ah, I heard Miss Hallsmith left Rosefield today. She’s a good girl, that one. I’m not sure I’m the best person to give advice on matters of the heart. Pearl had to practically bash me over the head to make me realize she was the woman for me.”
“You both seem quite happy.”
A wide smile spread across George’s face. “I would say so. Pearl is the light of my life.”
“Then you think there is only one love for a man in this world?” Heart aching, Markus struggled to draw breath.
Sticking his hands in his pockets, George stared at the ground and walked on down the road.
Markus tugged the reins and followed. The chill seeped through his jacket and he resigned himself that George would not answer because of course a man can only have one great love. Emma was his, and he would not tarnish that memory by pretending another woman could fill her place in his heart.
George cleared his throat. “I think there is room for more than one love in a man’s heart.”
Stopping, Markus had to replay the words in his head. It was the last thing he expected George to say. “You do?”
Nodding, he walked on with his eyes narrowed in thought. “I’m not saying a great love can be replaced. I don’t think that is possible. Maybe you’ve been looking at this the wrong way, my lord.”
“How so?” Markus leaned into the mare’s warmth.
“You said that you worried if you loved Miss Hallsmith it means that you didn’t truly love my lady, as if you would be replacing one with the other. Her ladyship is part of you and part of your family and always will be. You need not wipe her memory away to add another family member. A man with a big heart, like yourself, can make a new place for a great love. I don’t think Miss Hallsmith would want to take her ladyship’s place anyway. She is the kind of woman who makes a place for herself in the world. Just because they would share a title does not mean one must disappear to allow the other. You will always love her ladyship and she will keep her place in your heart and in your home. You have little Miss Elizabeth, and she is an extension of the love you shared. If you love Phoebe Hallsmith, then she has found a new place in your life like the pieces of a puzzle slide together. I cannot imagine the Lord would be so cruel as to limit your capacity for love. A man may have ten children and enough love to encompass them all.” George said the last as if talking to himself.
“I should not have let her go.” Markus’s heart ached and his hands shook. He had made a monumental mistake.
George turned his head toward Markus for the first time since beginning his speech. “London is not so far away.”
Hope tugged inside him. He slapped George on the back. “Thank you for your time, George. I had no idea farmers were quite so wise.”
Laughing, George said, “Don’t you go spreading it around. We’ll have a line out the door if you tell folks all the good advice we farmers have to give.”
They shook hands and Markus mounted his horse. At a slower pace, he headed back to Rosefield.
A light snow drifted down but he was warmer than before. He needed to find a way to convince Phoebe that he was the right man for her and the rest of her concerns were irrelevant.
Thomas stepped out of the house as Markus approached. “We have been looking for you.”
Dismounting, he sensed Thomas’s tension and his own tightened. “I went for a ride. What has happened? Is Elizabeth all right?”
Handing the horse over to a footman he said, “Thank you, Robert.”
“My lord.” Robert pulled his collar up and his hat down against the cold.
“Elizabeth is fine. I did not mean to alarm you. The earl has arrived.” Thomas’s usually easy manner was stiff and filled with rage.
“My father is here? How odd. If you would like to take Dory and leave, I completely understand. The man tried to kill you. There is no need to subject yourself to his antics, Tom.” Markus climbed the steps and Watson opened the front door for them.
“At the moment, his lordship is unconscious in your parlor. I cannot say that I am thrilled with his presence but I will not leave you in your hour of need.”
A change of clothes and a hot meal was what Markus needed. He stopped at the steps leading to the bedrooms. “I can deal with Father. You may either seclude yourself or head for home. I will not blame you for either course. I am certain Dory has no desire to see our father.”
“What will you do?” Thomas asked.
“I was planning to go to London tomorrow, but I suppose that will have to wait.” The ache in his chest returned. Damn, but he wanted to see Phoebe and find out if she loved him. He had things to tell her, but he could not leave with Father in the house. Lord only knew what havoc the man could cause if left on his own.
Chapter 15
No. 12
Everton ladies never make public spectacles of themselves.
—The Everton Companion
Rules of Conduct
London held none of the appeal it had in Phoebe’s youth or even months before when she had fled her brother’s estate to join the Everton Domestic Society. The rutted streets bounced her about like a ragdoll and even Honoria’s light chatter did not brighten her mood.
“Phoebe, you made your decision, now stop pouting,” Honoria said from the opposite seat in the closed carriage.
Swallowing down her sorrow, Phebe pulled her shoulders back. “You are right. I wish I knew I did the right thing.”
Honoria made a face as if she’d eaten something horrible. “You already know my feelings on the subject, so I will not beat the matter to death.”
Markus didn’t love her. He felt obligated to her. Perhaps she could tolerate that from someone she didn’t love, but not from Markus. It would break her into a million pieces to see him every day and know he could never love her. He was a good man, but his heart belonged to Emma, and she left no room for anyone else. Besides, Emma had been the daughter of an earl. Being disowned meant she was just Miss Hallsmith now. Men like Markus Flammel did not fall in love with girls like her. He cared for her, if his sweet lovemaking was any indication, but that too was not enough. She was an old maid and she would have to accept that and be happy with her decision.
The carriage stopped in front of Everton House. Lady Jane Everton waited on the top step. She clasped her hands in front of her gray skirt. The crisp white of her blouse stood out in relief against the dark stone and black door. Not one hair out of place, Lady Jane was the perfect example of what to be.
Phoebe’s inadequacies glared in her presence. “Lady Jane, is something amiss?”
“Not at all, Miss Hallsmith. I heard the carriage approach and thought I would spend a moment with you before you go to your room for a rest. Lady Chervil, you look as stunning as ever.”
Lady Chervil beamed and kissed Lady Jane’s cheek. “It’s good to be back, though Rosefield was our finest
assignment yet. I do not know when I have seen an Everton lady make more of a difference in the lives of her clients. I imagine the Flammels will rave about the society after what Phoebe did for them.”
“I have already had a letter from the countess declaring Miss Hallsmith a miracle. I believe they are all well pleased. Can you spare a few minutes, Miss Hallsmith?” Jane let the footman open the door.
“Of course.” Phoebe followed Jane and Honoria inside.
Honoria went directly upstairs saying she needed to rest after the long trip. “I will see you both at supper.”
Letting Arwen deal with her luggage, Phoebe followed Jane into the office. “I am glad Lady Castlereagh was pleased with the outcome of my employment.”
Jane sat behind the desk. “She actually used the word overjoyed.” I did not even know the countess knew that word.”
They laughed.
Tapping her fingers on the desk, Jane hesitated. “Something in her ladyship’s letter troubled me though, Miss Hallsmith.”
Phoebe’s heart stopped. “Oh. What was that?”
“May I be blunt, Miss Hallsmith?”
“I suppose you had better call me Phoebe if you have something of this much concern to discuss, my lady.”
Jane sighed. “She said his lordship’s attachment was great and a friendship had developed between the two of you, which she had not expected. Is it merely a friendship, Phoebe?”
A large part of Phoebe wanted to burst into tears and confide in Jane, but that would not do for an Everton lady. “His lordship and I are friends. I would not call that a mere thing, but our friendship grew out of the need for him to trust me as his recovery required.”
Another long sigh pushed from Jane’s lips. “You are in love with him.”
Phoebe sat forward, afraid she was about to be put out on the street or worse, sent back to her brother. “My feelings are irrelevant, my lady. I did what I was hired to do. His lordship has stopped drinking, Rosefield is in order, and Miss Elizabeth is safe, with a father who loves her and a nanny who will see to her needs.”
Jane raised a hand for peace. “Do not panic, Miss Hallsmith. I only worry for your happiness. No one is trying to force you out of the society. You will always have a home here, if you wish it.”
All the air rushed back into Phoebe and she sat back against the hard chair. “I am more grateful than you can know.”
“There is no need for gratitude, and you would be surprised how much I know about such things. Is there no hope that his lordship returns your feelings?” Surprising sadness marred Jane’s usually stoic expression, and she placed her hands on the desk, fingers threaded together.
“It is an inappropriate match, my lady. No, there is no hope, but thank you for your concern. I will be fine. Knowing that I am safe here is more than a girl like me could ever hope for.”
“Pish. Inappropriate by some standards perhaps, but if he loves you and you clearly love him, the rest can be overcome.” Jane waved an all-encompassing hand.
“Even if he did love me, and he does not, that is not realistic. It does not happen in the real world, only in dreams.”
Jane laughed and shook her head. “Did you know that I was the nanny to Lord Everton’s son? I had no title and was of good but unimportant birth. My family had no money and my father was in trade.”
Unable to believe her ears, she shook her head and closed her mouth. “I did not know that, my lady.”
Standing, Jane smoothed her skirts and walked to the window. “Yes, well, I do not like to make such a thing public, as it might be damaging to the domestic society. Still, it is the truth. Rupert was a widower and his housekeeper hired me to care for his young son. I had barely been making ends meet on my own and my parents could scarcely afford to take care of themselves. When my mother and I failed to find me a husband who could take me off their hands, I made the decision to step out on my own. If not for the post as a nanny, I do not know what would have become of me. We fell in love over chess in the evenings and he asked me to marry him. Of course, I resisted, stating the inappropriateness of the match. I went as far as to resign my post, but Rupert was persistent in his pursuit and eventually I saw that neither of us would be happy alone.”
Phoebe lost herself in the singsong tones of Jane’s voice and the romantic tale. “He must love you very much.”
Still looking out the window, Jane’s shoulders rose and fell. “Yes. We have been quite happy and all of this happened many years ago. When I told Rupert of my struggles to live before I began working for him, he suggested there may be a way to help other women in similar positions. That is how the Everton Domestic Society came to be.”
Phoebe’s head spun. “I had no idea.”
“I only tell you this so that you will be open minded should Lord Devonrose make an offer.” Jane returned to the desk.
The angry hand that had been strangling her heart for days gripped tighter. “I do not think that will be the case, but thank you, my lady.”
Jane cocked her head and shrugged. “One other thing, Miss Hallsmith. If you could stand a short assignment in two days, Miss Tara Winkle needs our support for the Davenport ball. It would only be for the preparation and the night of the ball. Her mother, Lady Tollfield, fears the girl will sit in a corner all night and never be married.”
Exhaustion lay like a blanket over Phoebe. Still, there was work to do and she was committed to her career. Her inability to sleep must never interfere with her being the best Everton lady she could be. “Two days will be sufficient time to recover. I am sure I can help Miss Winkle for one night.”
“Thank you, Miss Hallsmith. Go and get some rest now. I will see you at supper.” Jane returned her expression to the pleasant, calm and reassuring face she generally wore.
Phoebe was privileged to have seen another side of her benefactor. She left the office and went to find the comfort of her own room for a few hours. Of course, sleep was impossible and all she could think of was Markus and having his arms wrapped around her.
It would not do. She pulled on her boots and coat and went to walk the gardens. Perhaps the cool air would blow away these feelings.
* * * *
Phoebe spent the afternoon overseeing Miss Winkle’s dress and hair before they arrived at the Davenport ball. She had the carriage deliver them early in the evening as Phoebe felt the lighter crowd would be less intimidating for her young charge.
“Oh, Miss Hallsmith, I do not know how I will get through this. There are so many people,” Tara whispered. Tara Winkle was a pretty girl of sixteen with brown hair and blue eyes, fair skin, and a shy disposition.
“It will be more crowded in an hour. That is when it is more fashionable to arrive.” Phoebe scanned the room. The Davenports had one of the largest ballrooms in London. One wall was completely dedicated to several arched French doors that led to a patio. The walls were painted pale blue and trimmed in rich cream. Several mirrors reflected the light of four chandeliers. It was elegant, and when all the finely dressed ton swirled around the highly polished floor, it would be stunning.
Young John Stagemore had arrived early as well and stared from the other side of the ballroom. His crisp white cravat gave him an elegant air. More stylish than she would have thought, he wore a burgundy waistcoat with his fine black suit. Shy as he might be, he had a sense of fashion that was appealing without making him seem a peacock.
As his older brother was friendly with Phoebe’s brother Miles, she had met him on several occasions. She nodded toward him.
With a wide grin, John approached. His charming blush exaggerated by his fair hair and stark blue eyes. “Miss Hallsmith, I feared I would not know a soul at this ball. It is good to see you.”
“How do you do, Mr. Stagemore? May I introduce my friend, Miss Tara Winkle?”
John bowed. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Winkle.”
His blush deepened. “I am embarrassed to admit, I do not care for the crowds at these events. My mother insisted I come and I thought to arrive early and beat the crush.”
Tara smiled and exhaled for the first time since they’d arrived. “I understand completely, Mr. Stagemore. It can be daunting to walk into the middle of so many of society’s finest and not know anyone. Miss Hallsmith was kind enough to suggest we arrive early as well. I am not accustomed to large gatherings.”
“Nor I.” John’s smile was enough to light the entire room without the benefit of the chandeliers. “Perhaps you would do me the honor of the first two dances, Miss Winkle? Surely that will ease the torment for us both.”
Phoebe admired John’s smooth request even if he did not know he’d been both savior and rogue at once. The boy had potential.
“I would be delighted, Mr. Stagemore.”
“Until then.” With a bow, John strode away far more confident than when he arrived.
“Well done, Miss Winkle. We are off to a fine start.” It was good for Phoebe to be distracted by someone else’s life and not mired in thoughts of her own.
Tara clapped, sending her reticule into a spin. “He seemed very nice.”
“He is and he comes from a good family. No title, but a family your mother would most definitely approve.” Phoebe scanned for more dance prospects, then groaned as Gavin crossed the threshold and made straight for her. “Please excuse what you are about to witness, Miss Winkle.”
“I beg your pardon?” Tara asked.
Gavin stopped a foot from them and bowed, his pretty face marred by rage at not getting his way. “Miss Hallsmith, I do not appreciate having to trek across the country after you. You might have left word that you were leaving Rosefield.”
He was so rude she didn’t bother to introduce Tara. There was no need to subject the girl to more of Gavin.
A Lady's Honor Page 19
