by Bella Jewel
I keep my stance and don’t flinch away from her, then I smile and lean in close. “What bikers?”
With that, we turn and leave.
Bring it on, I say.
Bring. It. On.
14
ZARIAH
I sneak out of the hallway and out into the living area. It took me a while to get Jayden to sleep, and quite honestly, I feel like a god damned monster. He was asking for Reece, and that breaks my heart because one thing I do know, without a doubt, is that he loves his father and his father loves him. Perhaps there is a way to make it work so he can still see him but, for right now, I would be doing the wrong thing to assume he’ll never snap and hurt my baby.
I could never forgive myself for that.
I get out into the kitchen to see Alarick, Kendric, and Briella all waiting for me. They made sure I got home safe, and Kendric got right into changing all the locks in my house so that Reece couldn’t enter. He also made sure I had a security system. None of them think I’m safe after what happened today, and there’s a good chance I’m not. Reece will let what happened build, and he may very well snap. That will leave me in danger, possibly Jayden too.
I can only hope Tarryn will keep him in check with her wild ideas of going to court and winning this.
It might just keep him under control.
“Is that poor baby okay?” Briella asks. “Gosh, he’s just the most beautiful child.”
“He’s okay, he’s really upset.” I sigh, running my hands down my face. “It’s hard on him, he does love his father. He doesn’t understand.”
“You’re doing what’s best for him, honey. Don’t doubt that. I’m so, so sorry we never knew what that man was doing to you.”
“It wasn’t your job to know.” I give her a weak smile.
She gives me a hug and then tells me they’ll go and get some dinner and come back to make my night a little easier. I tell her thanks, but I just want to rest. That’s the truth. I’m sore, confused, and there is so much happening in my mind right now I honestly can’t make sense of it. I just need to be alone with my thoughts. After giving me another hug, she leaves with Alarick and Cohen. Kendric stays, telling them he’ll leave when he’s done.
Once we’re alone, I find myself fidgeting uncomfortably because I quite honestly don’t know what to say to him right now. Thank you, maybe? That’s a good start.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice softer than it usually ever is. “I really appreciate what you did for me today, mostly what you did for Jayden. He really likes you.”
“He’s a good kid,” he says, screwing a panel into the wall for the keypad.
“Yeah, yeah he is.”
We fall silent again and once Kendric has finished with the keypad, he turns to me. “You set up a pin, somethin’ only you know and somethin’ he certainly can’t fuckin’ guess. Make sure you don’t tell anyone. Keep yourself safe. That man is fuckin’ unstable.”
I nod, crossing my arms and rubbing them with my hands.
“You good?” he asks, staring at me, eyes narrowing.
“I don’t know. I feel ... I feel so god damned guilty. Like I’m making a big mistake. Like I’m the worst mother in the world.”
“Trust me,” he says, placing the tools down. “You’re better than most fuckin’ mothers because you’re puttin’ that boy’s wellbeing first. Know it’s hard, believe me. Seein’ your son upset because he doesn’t understand is a fuckin’ horrible thing but knowin’ you’re keepin’ him safe has to be worth somethin’. It has to be. You’d never live with yourself if that motherfucker laid a hand on your boy.”
He’s right.
I wouldn’t.
“I know that, I do, but it still bothers me. There is still a part of me that wonders if I’m making the wrong choice.”
“That’s normal. You do what you said, you go to the court and let them decide. You let them hear what he’s done, and you let them choose if they think he’s safe. He gets help, he might be good, but if he doesn’t, that rage will build and build, and one day it will snap on your son. I promise you that.”
He’s speaking from experience. I can tell.
“Is that what happened to you?”
He pauses and then glances at me, his face tight but not angry. “Yeah, it is. My father beat my mother for years behind closed doors. Same as you. We didn’t know when we were younger, but when we grew up, we started seeing the marks, hearin’ her cry and wondered what was goin’ on. He never hurt us. Fuck, not once. Until the day when I was ten, and I told him to stop hurtin’ Momma, that I knew what he was doin’. He beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital for a week. My fuckin’ hero took me down. Don’t ever think a man like that won’t hurt your child, Zariah. He might not now, but one day, when that boy stands up to him ... it’ll be different.”
My heart feels like it’s going to split in half.
Poor Kendric. That’s a horrible thing to live through.
“I’m so sorry. What happened after that?”
“The two of them split up, and I never saw my father again. Wish every fuckin’ day my mother left and took us away from that. I admire your strength for doin’ what you’re doin’ now, I know it’s hard. Seen first-hand just how hard it is.”
I swallow, trying to keep this pool of emotions inside me from erupting out. “I feel like I’ve already let my son down. I shouldn’t have been with Reece long enough to even get pregnant. I knew what he was like, yet I continued to let him do it because of some sick, twisted attachment.”
“It happens, more than you know. Don’t go beatin’ yourself up about it. It was abuse, and abuse can be really fuckin’ hard to walk away from.”
I stare at him and, in that moment, after those words, all I want to do is pounce on him. I want to take him to the sofa and do things to him that I’m certain aren’t right. Yet still, I want them. I want so many things I shouldn’t. Especially when it comes to Kendric. It’s like he understands everything I am and doesn’t judge me for it. He doesn’t talk down to me or tell me of the mistakes I’ve made, he simply accepts me.
That’s really something else.
The moment I have that thought, guilt smashes me because I let him down, I let him down in ways I shouldn’t have. I’m a cop and I let people abuse him. It was against the law and it wasn’t right. I might not have been able to help him them, but I can help him now.
“I’m going to tell my supervisor what happened to you that night. I’m going to tell them you were abused and kicked. I should have protected you and I didn’t. I’ll do everything in my power to make that right, including standing up for you where you need it.”
He stares at me, his face slightly shocked, slightly hard. “No.”
His word is simple and yet it feels like a blow to my chest. “Kendric ...”
“No, Zariah. You ain’t goin’ to anyone because it’ll make no difference. You think they’re goin’ to listen to you defendin’ a biker they’re certain is a criminal? Of course they’re fuckin’ not and you know it. You’ll only make the case harder. No, what you’re goin’ to do is say nothin’, find Dax, and get me the fuck outta prison because that’s where I’ll end up.”
He’s right.
I know he’s right.
I hate it but I can’t do anything about it.
“I’m sorry, for whatever it’s worth. I am sorry for what happened that night.”
He nods. “I should go.”
He walks toward the door, and my body suddenly fills with a terrible urge to make him stop. Everything inside of me is screaming that I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay. I don’t know why, I don’t even understand it myself, but I don’t want him to walk out that door.
“Please don’t go.”
My voice is strained and a little weak, but the words are clear. My intentions are clear.
I need him here.
I need him with me.
He pauses, hand outstretched for the door handle. He turns and lo
oks back at me, narrowing his eyes. “What did you say?”
I take a step forward. “I said don’t go. Please, don’t go.”
He hesitates, and then murmurs in a low, husky voice. “Why?”
“I don’t ... I don’t know.”
“Wrong.”
He grabs the door handle.
“I want you,” I cry out, throwing my hands up even though it causes me incredible pain to do so. “I want you, Kendric. I don’t know why, I can’t make sense of it, but I do. I want you more than you could possibly understand. So please, I’m begging you, don’t leave me here alone.”
He lets his hand fall from the doorhandle, then he turns and when our eyes lock, I know ...
He’s not going anywhere.
“GET YOUR HANDCUFFS.”
Kendric’s voice comes out firm, even before he’s reached me.
I shake my head, confused. “What?”
“Your handcuffs, go and fuckin’ find them and bring them to me. You want me here, you want me to fuck you, then we do it in a way we’re both goin’ to like.”
I hesitate, not because I don’t love the sound of that, because I do ... but because I’m always looking for broken, damaged sex. Dangerous, even. I wonder, what would it be like just to have normal sex? Would it feel any good? From previous experience, it hasn’t, but maybe that’s changed now. Kendric is gorgeous, and rugged, and more than manly. I’m sure that alone would be enough.
“I ... I don’t want to be like that,” I say, my voice wavering.
“Wrong again,” he growls. “You do want to be like that, you’re just ashamed of it when you shouldn’t be. Now, do as I fuckin’ ask, Zariah, and go and get your handcuffs.”
I move, even before my mind fully processes what’s happening. I walk to my belt, get my handcuffs off it, and walk back toward him, slowly stretching out my arm so he can take them from me. He does, and when he does, my whole body immediately comes alive with anticipation. My skin tingles, my stomach flips, my knees get weak, and my core tightens. I bite my bottom lip and glance at him, not sure what to do next.
I’ll let him take the lead.
“You’re not goin’ to get any control over this. You won’t be touchin’ me.”
“Wait,” I say, confused, “what?”
“You trust me?”
I nod.
“Then go and stand by that stairwell, put your hands behind your back, and wait for me.”
I glance at the stairwell that leads up to my spare room and bathroom upstairs. It’s timber and has large wooden posts that would be perfect for cuffing me to. Not something I ever would have imagined, but still, I’m not complaining. I walk over, body thrumming, and turn, pressing my back to the pole and placing my hands around behind it. Kendric walks over with purpose, his body powerful, his eyes intense. He reaches me and his hands go around behind me and cuff me to the pole.
For a moment, I feel panicked. Purely because my control is suddenly stripped away from me, and not having control is something I’ve struggled with for years. I look to Kendric and he must see the fear in my eyes, because he takes my jaw in his hands and rasps, “Do you trust me or not, Zariah?”
I nod. “I do.”
“Then you know I will not do any fuckin’ thing you don’t want. Do you understand me?”
I nod.
“Say it,” he growls.
“I understand you.”
“Good. Now I’m goin’ to take your clothes off and do things to you that you could only imagine in your wildest dreams. Then I’m goin’ to fuck you, soft at first, then fuckin’ hard, so hard this staircase will rattle. I know you want pain—I’ll give you pain. Just enough to get you where you need to be, then I’ll stop. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I whisper, my body already trembling at the very thought.
“Good. Now you don’t fuckin’ say another word until I give you permission. Are we clear?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, Kendric.”
“Good girl.”
He steps forward and with slow movements that make my entire body simply burn with anticipation, he slowly removes my clothes. He lifts my shirt up and over my head and tucks it behind my neck so it’s still on but I’m exposed. I also feel like I’m bound a little tighter, which I like. God, no, I love.
He unclips my bra and moves up around behind me, before stepping in front of me again and staring at my breasts. He lets his gaze rake over them, slowly, and I squirm out of sheer need. “You’re fuckin’ beautiful, do you know that?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, Kendric.”
He leans down and closes his mouth around my nipple. I arch and clamp my mouth shut as desperate words of pleasure threaten to come out. I squirm and my pussy aches as Kendric sucks on my nipple, slowly twirling his tongue around the hard nub before closing his teeth over it and giving it a sharp nip that has me yelping, and then moaning in pleasure as incredible sensations rip through my body.
He moves to the other one, trailing soft kisses across my skin. The rugged, sharp feeling of his stubble scrapes across my skin and brings my body up even higher, to the point where I’m not sure I ever want to come down. He finds my other nipple and closes his lips around it, sucking hard, until pain rips through my breast in the most incredible way. “Kendric,” I rasp, arching toward him.
He bites down so hard I cry out.
He lifts his head up and meets my gaze. “Do not speak, Zariah.”
I’m panting now as our eyes lock and, after a moment, he moves back to torturing my nipples in the most exquisite way.
God help me.
This is heaven on earth.
I need more of it.
He moves down my body until he reaches my pants. Slowly, oh so slowly, he drags them down my legs until I’ve stepped out of them and am completely bare before him. My skin prickles and my eyes are unwavering as I take him in. Huge man, on his knees, looking so god damned good it makes my heart flutter. He looks up at me, and with a feral grin he takes my leg, lifting it over his shoulder.
Then he’s eating me.
He shoves his face into my pussy, his tongue lashing out to torment my clit. He swirls and bites and sucks and licks until I’m moaning in pleasure, unable to stop it. I tug on my cuffs, arching my back. Pain shoots through my damaged and sore body, but it only enhances my pleasure. Before I can hold it back, hell, before I even know what’s happening, an intense feeling rips through my body and then releases with a gush of liquid.
I cry out, he growls, making a vicious sound, and the orgasm I have is the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt in my life. As spurt after spurt of liquid is released from my pussy. I find it hard to think, or move, or do anything but whimper and tremble. I’ve never had a man eat me the way he just did, it was absolutely out of this world. The most talented tongue to ever come close to my body.
Kendric pulls back and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He’s got my release all over him, but the look in his eyes, the feral look, tells me he doesn’t mind. Not at all.
“You a squirter?” he rasps, his voice thick.
“I am now,” I whimper, my voice breathy.
“Never had a woman squirt, that was fuckin’ incredible. Let’s see if I can make you do it again.”
Oh god.
He stands up and with one quick motion, his pants are down. He takes hold of his thick, hard cock and starts stroking it. It’s already swollen and red and clearly ready for its own release. His jaw is tight as he drops his head back, his strokes getting faster and faster. I tug on my restraints. I want nothing more than to touch him right now, to run my hands all over his incredible body, to bite his flesh, to stroke his cock and put it in my mouth.
God, I want him so bad I can’t think straight.
“Let me touch you,” I plead. “Please, Kendric. Let me put my hands on you.”
“No,” he growls. “No, you watch.”<
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I squirm and pull watching him jerk and jerk, making his cock even redder. His face is full of lust and pleasure and it’s the most god damned perfect thing I’ve ever witnessed. Then, without warning, he releases his cock, pulls a condom from his jeans and puts it on, then steps forward. He takes my hips in his big hands and lifts me until my legs are wrapped around his waist. Then, he leans in close, so close I think he’s going to kiss me but he doesn’t.
He just holds my eyes.
Letting me smell him.
Letting me imagine just how good it would feel to kiss him.
Letting me wonder what he tastes like.
“Let me kiss you,” I whisper.
“No.”
Then he plunges his cock inside of me. At first, it burns and stretches, making me cry out in shock. He doesn’t pause, he slowly drags it out and pushes it back in again. His growl echoing through the room. Such a feral, gorgeous man. He picks up the pace a little, but not quite enough that he’s fucking me hard. He’s just teasing me, tormenting me, making my body ache in ways it has never ached before.
“Please, harder, faster,” I beg.
He takes his time picking up the pace. He never moves his face close enough for me to kiss him, but he doesn’t take his eyes off mine. He stares at me the entire time he’s fucking me, and it’s out of this world incredible. As his pace quickens and my body slams into the railing, I feel the pain rising in my body. Mixed with the pleasure I’m already feeling, I know I’m going to have an orgasm equal to the one I just experienced.
“Kendric,” I gasp. “Oh, god.”
He reaches up and puts his hand around my throat. “Do not fuckin’ speak.”
I gasp and the feeling of him holding pressure on my throat sends me over the edge. I orgasm so hard I feel liquid running down my thighs. Kendric snarls with satisfaction and his fingers tighten just slightly around my throat as he fucks me so hard I nearly black out from pain and pleasure. When he orgasms, he does so with a rugged growl that sends pure excitement up my spine.
