I wouldn’t have been able to deal with all of this on my own.
I’m on the verge of tears again and he reaches out to wipe the first one away.
“Ciara, you’re going to ruin your makeup.” He smiles warmly at me. “On a more serious note, I secretly loved watching over you. I fully recognize you don’t need me for anything—you’re a strong, successful and independent woman—but last night you needed a pillar to hold onto and I was happy to oblige.”
“I rarely show signs of weakness. I’m quite clever at hiding them.”
“It seems we share another trait in common.”
I would never have guessed.
“I’ve always felt like a stranger in my own family because I’m so different from my sister and my dad—not only in the way I look but even how I approach life. I’ve been so much taller and my hair has always been bigger than everyone else, I could never explain why. Sofia always teased me by claiming Mom had me with the postman. My mother would simply say I must have taken after a tall ancestor. She said traits skipped generations before showing up again and it’s perfectly natural…” I trail off, closing my eyes. I guess she was covering her tracks.
“Your mother was trying to protect you, Ciara.”
I shrug my shoulders and shake my head. “My height was always a big joke in the family and my dad always marveled at how much of a tomboy I was as a child until I turned seventeen.”
“What happened?”
“I discovered boys were more interested in staring at my boobs than listening to me ramble on about the latest sports scores or latest hotshot rookie of the year.”
“Ah. Who can blame them? I personally love your boobs,” Nikolaj mocks with glee in his eyes.
“It seems I’ve never shared much in common with the man I’ve called Dad my entire life and I understand why now.”
“Ciara, you don’t know anything for sure yet. I know your mom is here and she’s contacted you, but there’s still a slight chance Dr. Echeverria is lying. Who knows, he may have ulterior motives in contacting you out of the blue like this and making such preposterous claims.” Nikolaj pulls me closer before brushing my nose against his.
I have to go face the truth.
“Okay, I have to go,” I declare bravely as I get on my toes to kiss him.
Nikolaj grabs my waist, pulling me closer to him, and kisses me softly. Since we met, it’s been hot and rough and this is the first time his lips have been so soft against mine. “I’ll miss you today.”
“I’ll only be gone for a few hours.”
“I know, but I can still miss you, can’t I?”
The tenderness of his question makes me blush. “Yeah, if you don’t have anything better to do,” I say, trying to hide how moved I am by his words.
“Text me if you need me to come pick you up.”
“I will.”
“Let’s go for dinner tonight. I’ll figure out a casual place and you can tell me all about your day.”
I can’t wait to spend quiet time with Nikolaj tonight. “I have a feeling I’m going to need a drink or three by tonight.”
“I have a feeling it’s going to be a heavy day for you. I also believe you’ll gain the clarity you need to help you move forward.”
“I hope you’re right. Okay, gorgeous, I’m off.”
We kiss and hug one last time before I turn on my heel and I head to the door with a heavy heart at what awaits me.
BOOK 3—BROKEN
Chapter Two
I can’t believe I was here twenty-five hours ago.
My stomach is in a knot. I hope I can go through with this without bailing out.
You’re going to be fine.
I’m standing in front of the same shop window as yesterday taking in my reflection before meeting my mother and her lover.
I was horrified when I saw myself this morning. Nikolaj allowed me to take a shower alone and after crying for ten minutes under the running water, I decided to face reality. I refuse to let Diego know he’s done so much emotional damage, so I put on my war armor—a pair of tight-fitted leather jeans, the same jacket I wore a few days ago during my excursion day with Nikolaj, my Jimmy Choo biker motorcycle boots, a light grey cashmere mesh tee-shirt with beaded detailing and my designer handbag. I spent thirty-five minutes transforming my face to erase any traces of sadness. Dark red lipstick always does the trick.
I arm myself with all the courage I have left as I open the door to the building and head to the elevator.
I know from this moment on my life will never be the same.
I take a decisive step towards Diego’s office, but I stop in my tracks when I recognize a familiar face in front of me.
“Mom. Why are you waiting for me in the hallway?”
“Ciara, I…” She looks so nervous as she approaches me. “I… Baby, I’m sorry,” she chokes before lowering her eyes and taking my hand into hers.
All of a sudden, it hits me. She’s changed so dramatically since I last saw her. “What have you done? Oh my God, Mom, your hair.”
“Gosh. I was going to tell you, but…” She touches her hair and flashes me a shy smile.
“What about your wardrobe? You never dress like this back home. I mean you’re the queen of greys and neutrals, Mom.”
“Oh, the women here are so stylish and they wear such vibrant colors,” she confesses, smoothing her teal jersey wrap dress.
Wow. It hugs her curvy hips so beautifully.
“There are plenty of stylish women in New York,” I retort like an unimpressed seven-year-old.
“You’re right.”
“What’s going on, Mom? I’ve tried thousands of times to inject color in your wardrobe, but you’ve always fought me off, claiming you don’t want to attract attention. You work at one of the most high-end luxury stores in America and your employee discounts make fashionistas drool, but you’ve always hidden all this beauty behind dull colors.”
“I guess it was time for a change.”
My mother looks twenty years younger than when I saw her five days ago. I stopped by her house to let her know I was off to Barcelona and she wasn’t nearly as polished as this foxy older version of Monica Bellucci and she surely didn’t let me know she would be here in Barcelona. Her new sassy bob hits at her chin and gives an air of chicness and sophistication. I’ve pleaded with her for years to change her hair, but she stubbornly held on to her long mane, which she wore tied up in a bun all the time. She also colored her greys and now her features are striking against her dark hair.
She’s stunning—almost unrecognizable. Is she wearing makeup?
Although she’s been a top seamstress at Bergdorf Goodman for as long as I can remember, she’s never paid particular attention to what she wore and I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen her dolled up like this.
“I arrived here a couple of days before you did and on a whim I asked Diego where I should go for a complete makeover. Since he had to perform a surgery a few days ago, I jumped at the opportunity to turn back the hands of time.”
“Wow. Whomever is responsible for this transformation is brilliant.”
I hate to admit it because deep down I know Diego prompted this change, but she’s breathtakingly beautiful.
“I wanted to feel pretty. I don’t think you can understand since you’re always so well put together. You’re tall, slim, gorgeous, I still don’t know whom you inherited your round booty from and you dress with such flair,” she says, gesturing at my biker commando gear.
“Mom, you should have seen my hellish morning face. Trust, me this doesn’t come as easy as people think.” I wink.
We both laugh as we hug each other.
A voice with a sexy accent comes from behind me. “Ah! There are the two most beautiful women in Spain.” Diego walks out of his office with arms wide open ready to hug us.
I wipe a few tears from my eyes and I do the same for my mom before turning around. “Diego, are you responsible for unleashing the
supermodel in her?”
“I’m afraid not. She’s always been this ravishing, but she allowed life to tame her,” he reveals before losing himself in her loving eyes.
“Come on, Ciara, let’s go into the office.”
“Great idea, Julia. Why don’t we keep the tears for behind closed doors,” he teases as he wraps his arms around her.
I feel so awkward witnessing such intimacy between them. I look away, wondering when was the last time I saw the two people I’ve known as my parents embrace like new lovers.
These two are worse than lovebirds.
“It may seem strange to you, but I’m sure in a few minutes you’ll see this very differently.” Diego must feel my discomfort.
“It’s easy to justify betrayal after the fact,” I spit out, angered by the fact I’m so transparent to him.
“Ciara Isabella Herrera,” my mother says. “Don’t you dare speak to him with such disrespect. I’ve raised you better.”
“He’s a stranger to me, Mom. The two of you are hell-bent on creating turmoil in my life, but you’re not going to succeed.”
“Cálmate, mujeres,” he scorns in his native tongue. “Calm down, ladies, let’s take this inside my office.”
Inside, I stand beside the closed door raging with my arms crossed over my chest. I expected to cry when I got here—I even wore waterproof mascara prepared for a deluge of tears, but I didn’t expect this anger to consume me.
“Please, Ciara, sit down. Don’t stand like a soldier. We’re among friends here.”
“You’re no friend of mine, Diego. You may have sweet-talked her,” I lash out, pointing at my mother, “but you don’t fool me at all.” I flash him the menacing gaze of a bullfighter. “I’d rather stand. Thank you very much.”
“If you feel so strongly about me, why are you here?”
His question startles me.
“You’re a very intelligent woman. Why would you come back if there wasn’t a shred of truth to what I shared yesterday?”
“I’m here so my mother can tell me why she had an affair with you. It doesn’t mean you’re my father. Emilio Herrera is my real dad. You’re an imposter.”
“Ciara, watch your mouth.” My mother jumps to her feet and bangs her closed fists against her thighs. “You’re making things worse than they have to be.”
“Mom, you made things worse when you slept with him and more recently when you allowed him to contact me and turn my world upside down. You do realize you’re going to kill Dad when you tell him of this little affair of yours.” I’m still too angry to unfold my arms or sit.
“Your father… I mean, Emilio knows. He’s getting remarried in four months, Ciara.”
What the hell is she talking about? The words come crashing through me like a tsunami. What has taken over my parents? “How can Dad get remarried when the two of you are living under the same roof? Mom, it makes absolutely no sense.”
“Ciara, two years ago, your dad and I decided it was time to move on. We didn’t want to pull the rug out from underneath you, so we continued living in the same house, but your dad has been sleeping in the guest bedroom for a long time now.”
“Mom, you’re making this up. There’s no way Dad would walk away from your marriage.” I bet she’s concocting this story so she doesn’t feel guilty.
“Do you know why I insist on you calling me before coming to the house?”
I shake my head, too upset to answer.
“The time it takes you to drive over gives me room to hide the evidence. I’m able to tidy up the guest room and camouflage the fact your dad and I have been living more like roommates than husband and wife for over two years.”
“I don’t believe you.” I fold my lower lip into my mouth, sulking like a three-year-old who refuses to share her toys.
“Since he started dating Beverly eight months ago, he’s been spending more time at her place than at the house.”
“Beverly? The red-headed physical therapist
who helped him recover from his knee injury?” I’m shocked my father could have started a new life right under my nose.
“Yes. Your dad kept referring to her as his physical therapist so you and Sofia couldn’t see through him. He was afraid if he said her name in front of you, we’d have to get into a lot of family drama.”
“I never understood why his treatments were so spread out and why he didn’t go in for a few months and deal with the issue.”
“He was trying to stay in contact with Bev as often as possible until he mustered up the courage to ask her out on a date.”
“He’s talked to you about her?”
“Yes, Ciara. He’s crazy about her and I’ve met her as well.”
“What?” I’m so scandalized I uncross my arms to hide my face as I shake my head, refusing to accept what my mother is sharing.
I really wish I were having a bad dream.
“In fact, Diego has also met Beverly. We’ve gone out a few times on double dates when he was visiting me in New York.”
“Double dates? Are you kidding me? I can’t handle this. I don’t know who my parents are anymore.” I grab the handle to the door, ready to storm out.
“Ciara.” Diego’s commanding voice stops me. “Please turn around,” he pleads.
I’m so tempted to walk out this door and ignore everything I’ve heard so far, but I know when I wake up tomorrow morning nothing I do or say can mend my parents’ broken relationship.
My God, my dad is taking a major leap in his life and he’s never even alluded to his pending wedding any of the times we’ve been together. Did he tell Sofia and not me because of Diego’s far-fetched claims? Is Dad angry with me?
I turn back on my heel and face the man who called out my name.
“Your mother is not finished yet. Please allow her to continue and then you can decide if you want to leave. This is extremely difficult for her and yes, I understand it’s painful for you as well. However, if we can put things out in the open we can heal and move on instead of staying stuck in resentment.”
Diego’s blue eyes are imploring me to reconsider. On one hand I want to run away like I always do when things start getting messy or emotional, but it’s not going to change the fact my own father is getting remarried to another woman and it surely won’t bring me any clarity as to the real identity of the man staring at me.
“All right, Diego. I’ll stay a little longer. Mom, please continue.” I turn around, facing them, before leaning against the wall.
I may be staying, but I’m not ready to sit down.
“Ciara, Emilio and I grew apart. It’s not easy to keep a long-term marriage alive if both parties aren’t willing to put in the effort. Your dad and I had given up and being open about it allowed us to find happiness with other people.”
“Why not go see a marriage counselor? You could have saved the relationship if you truly wanted to.”
“Ciara, if I may interject.” Diego takes a step towards my mother and wraps his arms protectively around her.
“Had you not kept in contact with Diego, you would have found the will to fight harder,” I lash out, angered to see them wrapped up in each other like this.
Diego ignores my comment. “I was once married a long time and after many years of trying, I realized my heart was no longer into it and in fact it never had been. My first wife has since remarried and she has more children with a good man. We’re both much happier living separate lives than we ever were married. Sometimes we have to end a relationship threatening to stifle us in order to find a new blossoming one.”
“I felt exactly like Diego described in my own marriage to your dad,” my mother says. “We were on autopilot and we had lost all passionate love for each other. When it was clear your father had found a wonderful woman who complemented him at this stage of his life, I started rebuilding my own. I contacted Diego and explained the state of my relationship and I also told him Emilio and I had agreed to a divorce.”
“Yo
u both want this?” I’m crushed by my mother’s words. This is my worst nightmare coming true. I had always taken pride in the longevity of my parents’ marriage and since I never believed it was possible to duplicate such love, I never bothered putting in effort in my own relationships.
“Yes. We’ve had many late-night conversations over this. The funny thing is once we made the final decision and contacted attorneys, your father mustered up the courage to ask Beverly on a date and she asked him what took so long.”
“I can’t imagine Dad dating.”
“He’s happy. You must have noticed he’s changed since the beginning of the year? I mean he’s lost fifty pounds and his disposition is so different.”
“I thought it was the new diet and exercise regime his personal trainer and dietician created for him. I was so thrilled he was willing to take care of himself, I didn’t try to figure out his motivation.”
“You know your father is not one who embraces change easily.”
“I get it, but I didn’t know it was because he was seeing another woman and ending your union.”
“Your father didn’t do anything to me. We both wanted to move on.”
This is not the woman I know. My mom spent most of her time shying away from attention. The person standing in front of me speaks her mind with such clarity it’s disarming.
“So the minute your decision was made, you contacted him?” I ask, pointing at the man claiming to be my biological dad.
“We’d kept in touch along the years, but Diego was always very respectful about not coming between Emilio and I. He didn’t want to hurt you and your sister. When all four of us were at a much more blissful state in our lives we decided to organize an evening at the house to tell you and your sister, but you announced you were planning a surprise engagement party for Sofia because Bryce wanted to propose to her in front of the family. Emilio, Beverly, Diego and I didn’t want to cast a shadow on your sister’s big day, so we kept pretending.”
Broken Page 2
