by Vera Roberts
Leimert Park was everything.
It was art. It was music. It was hope. It was desperation. It was fulfilling. It was starvation. It was what you wanted it to be.
Sydney found it freeing.
She set up shop in the middle of the park with just a bench, a pencil, and her sketchbook. She drew a petite woman carrying a vinyl Sam Cooke LP as she walked down the street. The woman’s hair was wind-blown and a proud look of satisfaction smeared across her face.
She named the drawing Wrecka Stow.
As Miguel’s “Waves” filled her earbuds, Sydney quickly sketched the woman as she pushed out memories left from Dean. How she always insisted in riding his baby blue Camaro with the top down because she wanted to see his long blond locks blowing in the wind. Or the numerous times he would walk in on her feeding her bad indy flick addiction on Netflix and provided color commentary. Or the time he researched back massages on YouTube so he could give her a proper one when she had a backache.
I want to be the only person you spend time with. I want to be your art, your soul, and your inspiration, he once promised her.
“Shoulda, woulda, coulda, but didn’t.” Sydney filled in the colors. “What’s done is done. I have a nice empty loft and he has whatever he has.”
Her iPod switched to “Mountains” and Sydney bopped along with the song. A slow smile formed on her face as she remembered when Dean came home to see her dancing to the song, wearing only his jersey and that’s it.
“That is probably the sexiest time I’ve seen that jersey on anyone,” he watched her gyrate on the pool table.
“You know what I want you to do,” Sydney squatted before him, spreading her thighs apart so Dean stood between them.
“Oh, I’ll do whatever you want me to do now,” he quickly nodded.
Sydney peeled off Dean’s jersey. “I want you to purify me in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.”
Dean picked her up and carried her fireman-style upstairs to their bedroom. “Oh, you didn’t even have to tell me twice.”
The memory dissipated as Sydney came back to earth. At least she had solid memories of Dean to fuel her before she remembered the heartbreak. Ian ignited the fire inside her but Dean calmed her down and made Sydney feel like it was she against the world. He was her automatic haven, a shield protecting her from everything.
Then something strange happened - she felt his presence.
Dean always had a magnetic presence about him, owning a room before he even walked in it. It was how Sydney knew he was there. She felt him before she saw him.
She sat straight up and adjusted herself before removing the earbuds. She placed them on the canvas before turning around.
Dressed in jeans and grey t-shirt with a couple of loose buttons at the top, Dean looked gorgeous. His blond hair was in a loose bun at the nape of his neck. His beard had the right amount of scruff to it. Sydney could smell his intoxicating cologne, filled with notes of earth, musk, and just plain, man.
“Um, hi,” she cleared her throat, “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I wasn’t sure if I should’ve came,” he coughed into a palm, “Ian gave me your location and I decided to make a visit.”
Sydney nodded. “So, you and Ian are good now?”
“We’re good enough as it can be and will be,” Dean shrugged, “but I didn’t come here to talk about Ian. I wanted to talk about us.”
“Oh?” Sydney waited with baited breath. “What did you want to talk about?”
“This is more than one conversation. This is a multiple conversation we need to have and it’ll take a while before things are truly good with us. I’m sorry for everything. I was a class-A asshole and you deserve better. But I will make it up to you even if it means you’ll never have anything to do with me again.”
Sydney swallowed her emotions and briefly looked away. Why couldn’t she hate her ex like most other normal women? Why did she have to still be madly in love with him? “Say, if you’re available this weekend, I was wondering we could go out and get some coffee? Or catch a flick? We can start off like that.” She suggested.
“I’m busy Saturday morning but I should be available around two if that’s okay with you?” He responded.
“Sure thing,” Sydney hesitated to ask but pursued it anyway, “what’s going on Saturday morning?”
“Um,” Dean’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, “just a little something, that’s all.”
Sydney’s mind went a mile a minute. A little something…as in a date? As in dropping off the next thot at her home? As in having a sex marathon that morning? It certainly wasn’t business because Dean made it a personal rule to never conduct business on weekends. “Oh,” was all she could muster.
It was like there was an ongoing fight inside Sydney’s head for dominant thoughts and it was clearly expressed on her face. He may not know exactly what she was thinking but he could tell it were thoughts that weren’t great and put him in the worst light. She’d always wondered why he was able to beat her at strip poker. “Say, if you want, you could meet me. I’ll be at CHOC during that time.”
CHOC was Children’s Hospital of Orange County. Sydney wondered what Dean would be doing there. “Um, okay.”
“You should probably wear a pantsuit with your hair in a bun. And maybe some frames.” He suggested. “Caution on the heels. The hospital floor is slippery.”
“What’s going on?” She asked and wondered why she had to look professional when it wasn’t clear what her visit was for.
“Just trust me on this,” he flashed a charming smile, “you won’t regret it.”
****
I totally regret this.
Sydney took out her Hello Kitty compact mirror and admired her face. She was lucky she had a pair of hipster frames just for this purpose. She glanced down at her attire one last time – slacks, white blouse, her finest pearls, and her hair in a loose bun.
Just as Dean wanted.
She walked inside the hospital and went to the visitor’s check-in. “I’m looking for Dean Winchester.”
“Oh yes,” the volunteer said behind the desk. She prepped a visitor’s sticker and handed it over to Sydney. “Just go around that corner and take the elevator to the second floor. You can’t miss him.”
Sydney found the older woman’s words to be odd but she remained silent. She headed to the second floor and was at a loss for words at the long corridor. There were so many rooms available and she wasn’t about to peep her head into each one, terrifying a sick child and their families.
She finally located a nurse and asked her if she knew where Dean was. “Oh, Thor? Why, he’s in that room right there!” The nurse pointed and sighed. “What a dreamboat!”
Thor? Sydney silently questioned. “Yes, thank you.” She took another quick glance down at her outfit and slowly walked towards the room. From the outside, she overheard Dean reading a children’s tale.
“Music Man Stan says that he has a potty I can use…right in the music shop!” Dean exclaimed as he read from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. “I can go potty right away!” He briefly looked up and locked eyes with Sydney. “Well, look who’s here, Max! Jane Foster came by to visit!”
Sydney felt her breath caught in her throat. It was a side of Dean she had never seen and frankly, didn’t think it existed. He was playful, attentive, and most important, fatherly. When Chris and Mary told her Dean was a great uncle to their children, Sydney was hesitant to believe it.
It all made sense. Dean wasn’t three-dimensional; he was in a league all by himself.
Looking like a dead ringer for Thor, Sydney walked over to Dean and gave him a hug. He was dressed in the full Thor gear, with a cape that draped over his chair and a large hammer by his side. “Why hello, Thor And hello to you, Max!”
“Hi Jane!” Four-year-old Max waved from his bed.
“Say Jane,” Dean’s eyes twinkled, “can you get Max and I some juice from the nursing station? Just ask them and the
y’ll show you. Get one for yourself as well.”
“Sure thing,” Sydney set down her purse and hoped that would somehow make her heart stop pounding against her chest and her ovaries to relax on their breakdancing. “What did you two want?”
“Apple juice!” Max exclaimed.
“Two please,” Dean added.
“Okay, two apple juices coming right up!” Sydney hurried out of the room.
“Jane Foster is pretty,” Max giggled.
“Yes, she is,” Dean smiled, “she’s very pretty.”
“Is she your girlfriend, Thor?”
“No, she’s not my girlfriend,” Dean flipped a page, “but she’s definitely my Valkyrie.”
After meeting with the children, and posing for pictures with the patients and their families, Dean and Sydney walked out together to the parking lot. “That was a lot of fun!” She exclaimed. “Thank you so much for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome. I always visit the kids but sometimes I play dress up for them.” He shrugged. “I guess there is a resemblance between me and Chris Hemsworth.”
“Not really,” Sydney glanced at her former lover, “you’re cuter.”
She didn’t say much but somehow Sydney always manage to make Dean blush. She was the only one who had ever done it. “Thank you. So, where are you parked? I’ll walk you to your car.”
“I don’t have a car. I took the Metro here.”
Dean stopped walking and turned to Sydney. From her loft in downtown to Orange County was easily an hour drive. With public transportation, it was an additional 90 minutes. He struggled to contain the emotion in his voice as he realized what she’d done for him. “You…took the Metrolink here?”
“I had to navigate a little but yeah,” she shrugged, “I wasn’t about to sit in traffic.”
Dean stopped walking and Sydney followed his lead. “You could’ve rented a car?” He suggested.
“I could’ve, yes. I wanted the extra time to think.” She pushed back a lock of hair. “I needed to know for myself if I knew what I was doing.”
He was tempted to play with her hair like he’d always done, twisting the curly ringlets around his fingers. Instead, he remained calm and still as he listened to her. “And were you?”
“I don’t know,” she replied, “sometimes I think our problems were created because we moved too fast and sometimes I feel the problems would’ve still been there even if were together for several years.” She folded her arms and pushed out a breath. “You had me in the palm of your hand and you were too blind to see it. The sad part about all of this is I so want to hate you but I can’t, even though you deserve it. A part of me still really loves you and I don’t know why. I also don’t know if I’ll ever get over you, which really sucks for the next guy because he’s going to be constantly compared to the best man I ever known aside from my father.”
Dean looked up at the sky before returning his attention back to Sydney. “I’ll admit I fucked up. I was jealous of Ian. He could understand you in a way I couldn’t. You two seemed to connect on a level that was foreign to me and the harder I tried to understand you on that same level, the more I felt you were slipping away from me. And it was stupid because the more dedicated you became to your dreams, the closer you were in visualizing our future. It was stupid of me to think otherwise. I thought everything you did was an attack on us when really, you were doing everything because of us.
“You know it’s funny…” he gave a small chuckle. “…nowadays, I even started watching those horrible indy movies on Netflix because I know you like them. I walk all over my home, see little touches of you inside, and smile because it’s uniquely you. I find myself randomly singing “Starfish and Coffee” because it’s one of your favorite songs. I even play better because of you. You were always my biggest cheerleader even when I had a horrible game. I guess I didn’t realize how much of you was inside me and inside this…” He softly gesticulated. “...to realize how much of an effect you had on me. I see you in everything and in everybody. I have to say I’ve gotten a lot smarter since our breakup. Maybe not with my brain but definitely with my heart. I had to learn the hard way that sometimes the best things in life truly are free. I’m gasoline but you’re the match. You’re the world to me and I’ll do anything to get you back in my life.”
Sydney wiped a small fallen tear off her cheek. “So, is this how it works? We fall in love and then fall apart?”
Dean stepped closer to his former love and kissed her forehead. “And then fall back in love again.”
Feeling his lips on Sydney sent small shockwaves through her body. Feeling his touch, his love, and his dedication to her was too heavy to bear and she fought back tears. “So what now?”
“I’ll give you a ride back. I don’t want you in stuck in traffic.” He led them to his SUV. “And then we’ll go from there.”
“I like that.” They began walking again and interlocked fingers as they did. “Thanks for the idea of my next piece.”
“Oh?” He asked. “What is that?”
“Incense and Candles,” she smiled. Her cell phone went off as did Dean’s. It was Sarah calling her. “Hey girlie, what’s up?”
Jameson was on the phone with Dean. “Hey man, what’s going on?”
“I want you and Dean to come to Vegas right now!” Sarah beamed.
“I want you and Sydney to come to Vegas right now!” Jameson exclaimed.
“What? What’s going on?” Sydney asked.
“We’re getting married!” Sarah and Jameson said on their respective phones.
“Married?” Dean and Sydney said together, then looked at each other. “What?!”
