by Gigi Thorne
“If you knew that a drug dealer was on campus, you should have come to me,” Dean Porter says indignantly. “This needs to be addressed immediately.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry,” I say quietly. Once upon a time I would have puffed up like a toad and bluffed and shouted, just like my dad does, but being with Carter has taught me a lot. Carter never lets me get away with hiding behind excuses, because he says I’m better than that, and he’s right.
“Don’t try to change the subject,” my father snaps at Dean Porter. “We trusted you with our daughter, and she’s been victimized by some…pervert. We’re going to destroy him, and I swear to God we’ll take you down with him.”
“Based on the word of a drug addict? Good luck with that,” I scoff at him.
“I haven’t heard you deny it,” my father says, looking at me narrow-eyed. My father may be a lot of things, but he’s not stupid.
“I have nothing to say on the matter, and I am now going to class. When last I checked, I haven’t been accused of any crime, and you have no right to keep me here.” My thoughts return to Carter. They’ll be questioning him as well. What will he say to them? I can’t imagine them cracking his cool demeanor, but these are very serious charges, and he’s facing immediate termination.
“Actually, we have been informed that Professor Lowe has been writing your papers for you,” Dean Porter says. “If we find out that’s true, you’ll be suspended for the semester. A substitute will be teaching for Professor Lowe until we conclude our investigation. You will be excused from class today, since you’ll already have missed a good portion of it.”
My jaw drops. If I’m suspended, there goes my trust fund until I’m twenty-five. And I don’t even care about the damn money when I’m twenty-five—I need it now, for Louise. What the hell kind of job could a college dropout get that would pay all her bills? I’ve already pawned every last piece of jewelry my parents gave me, to contribute to Louise’s huge medical deductibles and catch her up on her mortgage. My car is in my father’s name, so I can’t sell it.
“I have written every single paper myself!” I shout furiously. “I worked damn hard on those papers!”
“We’ll see,” Dean Porter says tightly. He glances at my parents. “At this point, there is nothing further to discuss, and based on your threats, any further conversation that you would like to have with me will have to be conducted through your lawyers.”
I glare at my father. “Oh, I don’t think he’s going to target the university, unless he wants this splashed all over the newspapers. Because I will call them my own damn self. Caldwells don’t like their dirty laundry aired in public.”
My mother stumbles to her feet. “What are we doing to do?” she whines to my father, who ignores her.
“Josie, do not walk out that door. Listen, I’m sorry. I’ve let you down terribly and— Josie!” But I storm out the door and run down the hallway until I’m outside.
As I hurry toward my car, I see that I have a missed text message.
It must be from Carter.
But it’s not. It’s the hospital. Something’s happened to Louise.
I text Carter, saying, “Call me when you can,” and drive to the hospital like my ass is on fire. It’s amazing that I make it there without getting a ticket.
When I get to the hospital, I’m incredibly relieved to find out that Louise just has a concussion. She admits that she climbed up on a stepladder to reach something on a high shelf, got dizzy and fell. I’m horrified.
Hiring a caregiver costs a bloody fortune. The agencies charge like twenty-five bucks an hour around here. What am I going to do?
Well, given that I’m probably getting kicked out of college—for something I didn’t do—I can just move in with her and watch her 24/7. For as long as she has her house, anyway. She’ll probably be kicked out pretty quickly once I can’t pay her mortgage anymore.
Then where will she go?
It’s hard to keep a smile on my face with all these gloomy thoughts running through my mind.
I settle in next to her. They’re holding her for twenty-four hours for observation.
I text Carter again, then try to call him. I get nothing.
A few hours drift by, and I haven’t heard from him, and I’m starting to get a cold, creepy feeling.
I don’t hear from him all that night.
My father sends me six texts, which I ignore. My mother sends me one, which I also ignore.
But not a thing from Carter.
And when I wake up early the next morning I know.
Every word he said to me was a lie.
Chapter Fourteen
I am absolutely stunned that I haven’t heard from him. I keep sneaking glances at my phone, but there are no incoming calls.
Seriously?
I alternate between feeling furious and deeply hurt—and extremely stupid. How could I possibly have fallen for his act? He’s probably done this with a new girl every single semester.
Why would he do that to me? Why did he have to lie? I never asked him to say he wanted forever. What kind of sick bastard leads a girl on like that?
The angry, petty part of me wants to call up the dean and spill my guts. Tell him where Carter works on weekend nights, tell him about how Carter screwed me on his desk and spanked me right there in his office…but I won’t. That would be wrong of me. I am an adult, and I was with Carter because I wanted to be.
The miserable thing is, I still do.
When I’m with him, I don’t feel alone any more. I feel – I felt – loved and wanted and smart. I want him here with me in the hospital, holding my hand while I worry about Louise. I want to cry on his shoulder about possibly being kicked out of college for something I didn’t do. I want to tell him everything. I wish I’d opened up to him when I had the chance.
No, I don’t—do I? Because I would have been opening myself up to a manipulative liar and a user.
“Don’t look so upset, honey, I’m fine,” Louise says, patting me on the arm. “Besides, looking sad gives you wrinkles. I see one starting right there.”
She points at my forehead.
I manage a smile. “You’re the worst. That’s it. I’m going to go out and get Botox. Right now,” I threaten.
She snorts at that. “You’ll get Botox over my dead body. I’ll keel over dead just to spite you, young lady.”
Now I’m actually laughing. “You’re weird as hell, you know that? No wonder I turned out so bizarre, with you as my surrogate mother.”
“You turned out just fine. Relatively speaking. Well, I’m sure it could be worse.” She grins at me. “Can you go nag the nurse and bust me out of this joint?”
I snort. “Does anyone still say ‘bust me out of this joint’?” But I get up from my chair so I can hunt down the charge nurse to see what our schedule looks like for the day. I’m more than ready to leave behind the stinging smell of antiseptic and the beep beep of machines.
The morning drags on as the doctors run final tests on Louise and decide that she’s safe to go home.
I try to be happy for her as a gray cloak of gloom wraps around me.
Carter is a lying bastard, and I’m weak and needy and I got played. And I still want him. Hell, I still love him—why lie to myself? I’m in love with a con artist.
Finally I text Melody. I’m hoping she’ll tell me what happened in class yesterday, but I don’t get an answer from her either. My mood sinks lower and lower as I drive Louise home.
When we get to the house, she leads me into the living room and gestures at me to sit down next to her on the couch.
“Lecture time,” she says, and pats me on the arm. “Josie, I know you worry about me, but it goes both ways. I worry about you too. I promise you, on my honor, that I will not climb any more ladders. You need to go to class.”
“I kind of got kicked out of school,” I lie. I mean, it hasn’t happened yet, but it probably will.
She gasps in shock and sinks do
wn onto the living room couch. “Oh my God. Because of me?”
“No, because a friend of mine falsely accused me of having someone write my papers. And because I might have been briefly dating my English professor.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Why didn’t I ever hear about that?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t approve. It’s fine; it wasn’t a big deal.”
She starts to say something, but the doorbell rings and my heart suddenly lifts. Could it be…?
I hurry to the front door. It’s not Carter, it’s Melody. I try not to look too disappointed.
“Come in. What’s up?” I ask her. “How did you find me here?”
“Jeez, I thought you were dead!” she says, exasperated. “You didn’t show up to class, we had a substitute, Savannah wasn’t there either, there are all these rumors flying around about you and Professor Lowe but he isn’t anywhere to be seen. I kept calling you and you never answered, so I went to your parents’ house last night and they were all pissy and they said they didn’t know where you were… Oh, hi, Louise!” She waves at Louise, who’s bustled up behind me. Melody knows Louise from the first couple of years of high school when she used to come over to our house and we’d all hang out in the kitchen.
That was before my mother had Louise fired—that bitch.
“Come in, come in. I’ll get you some milk and cookies.” Melody always loved Louise’s cookies.
“Woo! You don’t have to ask me twice!” Melody hurries inside, and I shut the door.
“Wait,” I say, puzzled, as Melody follows us into Louise’s little kitchen. “What do you mean, you called me? I didn’t get any calls, and I texted you this morning.”
She shakes her head, blonde hair flying. “I didn’t get any text.”
I pull out my phone and try to call her. Melody’s phone doesn’t ring. I try calling Louise’s phone. Louise’s phone doesn’t ring. But my father and mother called me all those times, and I got those calls…
Son of a bitch.
My phone is on my parents’ plan…and I’d bet a million bucks they blocked all incoming and outgoing calls and texts.
As an experiment, I call my father’s phone, and he answers immediately.
“Where in the hell are you?” he roars. “We were about to call the police!”
“Have you been blocking everybody’s calls but yours?” I demand angrily.
“Damn straight I have! That pervert might try to call you! Or you might try to call him. Now get your ass home unless you want to be permanently cut off!”
“But I do want to be permanently cut off,” I say icily, and hang up the phone.
This means that Carter might have tried to call me. My heart soars, fearful but hopeful.
“Louise, I need to use your phone,” I say, and I grab her phone from the kitchen counter and hurry outside to call him.
He answers instantly. “Hello?” he says, puzzled by the unfamiliar number.
“Carter, it’s me.”
“Damn it, Josie, I was worried sick about you!” I realize I’ve been holding my breath. I let it out in a gust of air, and blink away tears of relief.
“Are you at home?” I ask. “I want to come over and talk to you in person.”
“Please. I’ve been climbing the walls. I called you a million times.”
“I called you too. Turns out my parents blocked my phone, so don’t call it again. I’ll be there in half an hour.”
I hurry back inside. “Melody, I need to ask you a huge favor. Louise has been getting dizzy spells sometimes, and I don’t want to leave her alone, but I need to run out for a few hours.”
“Jeez, of course. Is that why you’ve been acting so funny all semester?” Before I can answer, she makes a face. “I’ve been a cruddy friend this year. I got so wrapped up in my boyfriend that I kind of shut the rest of the world out. I’m sorry. You were going through stuff, and I wasn’t there for you. I’ll be happy to hang out here with my homie Louise any time she needs it. Chocolate chip cookie buddies forever!”
I throw my arms around her in a crushing hug. “Gak,” she gurgles. “I love you too. My ribs!”
And I rush off to Carter’s house.
When I get there, he greets me at the door and pulls me to him in a warm, strong hug. My heart is jack-hammering in my chest, I’m so happy and relieved. He’s so solid and calm. The stress of the last few days washes over me. I tremble in his arms, and he holds me upright, lending me his strength.
“It’s okay,” he says, kissing the top of my head. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
And I burst into tears. He gathers me up in his arms like I’m a child, and carries me into his bedroom and sets me down on the bed.
I wasn’t talking before. Now I can’t stop talking.
“My nanny Louise—I told you about her—she has cancer. She had cancer—she’s all better now. That’s why I’m always broke. I spend every single cent on paying down her medical bills and buying her groceries and keeping her lights and phone on. She doesn’t know how much I’m spending on her, because she’s been too sick to take care of her own finances. And without the money from my trust fund, she’ll lose her house.”
“Damn, Josie.” He looks shocked. “I am so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“The last time I trusted a grownup with my problems…” I gulp down a sob. “My parents sent me to a counselor when I was sixteen because I was being a miserable mopey teenager. I told her that my parents were drunks and they did coke and cheated on each other and fought all the time and ignored me. I told her that I considered Louise to be my real mother, and that I wished like hell I could just move out with Louise and we could live in a one-bedroom apartment and shop at Target, and I’d be the happiest girl in the world.”
“Okay…” he nods understandingly.
“And she told my parents. And my mother lost her mind. She sent me away to stay at a friend’s house for a few days without telling me why, and when I came home Louise was gone. My mother had fired her and refused to give her a reference or severance pay—after she’d worked for us for ten years! My mother cancelled my cell phone so Louise couldn’t call me, and she screamed at me every day for months, calling me ungrateful, saying I broke her heart, blah blah blah…” I sob into my hands, remembering how I sank into myself and barely dragged myself out of bed all summer.
“What a raging bitch,” Carter says, his brow creasing in anger. “I’m really sorry that happened to you.”
“I finally ran into Louise, I started hanging out at the local thrift shop all the time because I knew she shopped there, and she told me that my mother had threatened to have her arrested if she ever talked to me again. But we saw each other secretly all the time. She could barely find work cleaning houses, because she had like a ten-year gap in her work history, and then she got sick and couldn’t work at all and she didn’t have insurance.” I shake my head despairingly. “I’m going to lose my allowance and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“I’ll pay for everything, of course.” He says it with calm conviction.
I look up at him with a shaky laugh. “But you just lost your job. Didn’t you?”
“Yes. I refused to say anything to them when they questioned me, so they allowed me to resign to avoid a scandal.”
“Well, that’s something. But Carter, I was barely able to help Louise out with five grand a month, she’s in so much debt. I know your book did well, but…”
He’s shaking his head. “Promise you won’t get angry at me.”
I look at him suspiciously. “Are you seeing someone else?”
“Oh, come on, Josie! We’ve been through this.” He looks annoyed with me for even suggesting it.
“Then what?”
“We never discussed this before, because it wasn’t relevant, but my mother had plenty of money, and she left every cent of it to me. Fifty million. She came from a very wealthy family. I work because I want to, not because I have to.”
He laughs. “I’m part owner of Club Surrender, and I act as bouncer when people are being assholes and need to be kicked out. I keep that on the down-low too—a lot of the staff doesn’t even know.”
“You live…here!” I wave my arm at the living room. It’s nicely decorated, but hardly a millionaire’s digs. “You drive an old car!”
“Not everyone’s like your parents, Josie. Why would I buy a new car when the one I have runs beautifully? Why live in a big house when I’m single? I mean, I was single,” he corrects himself hastily. “Now, I could imagine house-shopping.”
My jaw falls open. “That’s… I’m not mad, but…it does feel weird that you kept something like that from me. Surely you weren’t worried about me using you for your money?”
“Not in the slightest. I guess, after a lifetime of being emotionally closed off, it was hard for me to be open about everything. But you know what? That’s done now. And since I’m not working there anymore, we don’t have to keep our relationship a secret.” He kisses me on the mouth, softly, and I squirm up against him.
He pulls away. “You know what else?”
“What?” I’m smiling now through my tears. I’m grinning so hard my face might split.
“You are a naughty little girl for not checking in with me last night.”
“But I couldn’t! I told you why!” I protest.
“And I’m going to buy you a new phone this afternoon. But you should have tried a different phone, because I was fucking worried as hell and I barely slept last night. Don’t argue,” he says sternly. “Just lie down across my lap and take what’s coming to you.”
I look at him, smiling, tears still clinging to my lashes. “Yes, sir.”
