Grace patted Ryan's arm. "I did. There was a whole lot of snow." Grace frowned, good-naturedly. "Don't you get any more ideas about going out in the cold. You have to stay right here, for the moment. You don't want to be unwell for Christmas, do you?"
Ryan shook his head and looked suddenly grim-faced. Maybe he hadn't thought about that possibility when he'd decided to embark on his forest exploration, Josh told himself.
"The last thing we want is you stuck in bed on Christmas day," Grace continued. She peered at Ryan. "You wouldn't want that, would you?"
Ryan shook his head. "Uh uh."
With every word she uttered, Ryan looked more and more serious. Josh tried not to smile. Grace was making sure that Ryan's attention for the days remaining to Christmas would be focused on being well.
Josh was enjoying watching Grace bond with Ryan. A sudden thought occurred to him. "You're not in any hurry to leave, are you?" Josh asked Grace.
For a moment, Grace hesitated. He wondered what she was going to say. Whether, after the kiss last night, she would be anxious to get back home. Maybe she wanted to leave any awkward conversations for another day, he told himself.
Instead, Grace shook her head. "I'm staying right here today," she announced.
Ryan smiled broadly and it was all Josh could do to avoid doing the same.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Soon after Miriam went to fetch breakfast for Ryan, the ranch hand entered the house and reported to Josh that he'd delivered the news to the Buchanan ranch. Grace's mother was reassured that Grace and Emma were safe at the Munro spread. While Miriam and Emma had been giving Ryan his breakfast, Grace had followed Josh to the parlor. There, they'd shared tea and cake which Miriam had left for them.
Grace was thankful that Wyatt seemed to be busy and that she could spend some time alone with Josh. Her mind had been a whirl of thoughts and sensations throughout the night. All night, in the small room she'd shared with Emma, she'd been trying to make sense of that kiss. What it could mean. Why it had happened. Where it was going to lead her and Josh. Or even if it was going to lead them anywhere.
She knew the answer to that last question. It wasn't going to lead anywhere. Everything she and Josh shared was in the past. And that was where it would stay, Grace told herself as she sat across from Josh, sipping her cup of tea. After last night, she knew she had to make things clear to him. She had to stop Josh from thinking that it would lead to a resumption of his courtship of her.
After Ryan had finished his breakfast, the little boy wanted to get out of bed. Persuasion was required, yet again, to convince Ryan that he still had to get better. Ryan complained, very loudly, and a compromise was reached. Josh carried Ryan to the parlor and placed the boy on the sofa in front of the fireplace. He was covered with a blanket and instructed not to move. Faced with a possible return to his room, Ryan reluctantly agreed. Now, what was needed, was a way to keep Ryan occupied throughout his time in the parlor, Grace realized. Talking with Emma a while, Grace and her agreed that the kinds of activities they used with Clara and Bethany might be suitable. And, given the time of year, of course those activities would have to be of a Christmas nature.
Christmas songs were sung for a short while. Grace and Emma played some Christmas games with Ryan, making him laugh repeatedly. Then Miriam brought some materials, colored paper and lengths of wool, with which they all made some small Christmas decorations. Watercolor paint was used to add details to the decorations. These were hung around the windows and at different parts of the room.
All through this, Grace tried her best to involve Josh. At first he was reluctant, especially when it came to singing. She figured he was unsure about how to join in with these simple activities. But, when he saw how happy the activities made Ryan, Josh got involved. The boy's spirits improved noticeably throughout the morning. On a number of occasions, Grace saw Ryan and Josh exchange expressions of genuine delight and joy. It was such a beautiful transformation, compared to how things had been, soon after their arrival at Ranch Munro.
Every once in a while, Miriam brought in tea for the grownups, and sweet drinks for Ryan. The eating of cake was kept to a minimum, though. Miriam had wisely decided that she didn't want to risk making Ryan sick again by feeding him too much. Once, Wyatt entered the parlor and gazed, wide-eyed at the scene before him. Despite enthusiastic requests for him to join in, Wyatt declined and left the parlor, claiming he had work to do.
Finally, Ryan became tired. That didn't surprise Grace at all. In fact, she'd been amazed that the little boy had been able to stay involved in all the activities for as long as he had. Josh carried the heavy-eyed Ryan back to his room and placed him back in bed. Grace and Josh left the sleeping child being watched over by Emma and Miriam.
Grace and Josh went out onto the porch. The afternoon air was cold and the sky a crystal clear and bright blue. Some of the ranch hands were sweeping snow from the yard. Beyond the ranch entrance gate, Grace could see tracks on the snow-covered trail. Clearly, someone had driven a buckboard along the trail at some point during the morning. Thoughts of returning to the Buchanan ranch drifted into Grace's mind.
She glanced at Josh. He looked pleased with the events of the morning. Gone were the shadows beneath his eyes. He was dressed in a heavy, red plaid shirt, blue jeans and brown boots. The color of his shirt suited the Christmas spirit they'd all enjoyed during the last few hours. Beneath the shirt, she could sense his powerful physique, his broad chest and wide shoulders. She felt her heart quicken.
He caught her looking at him. "What?" he asked, lifting a brow.
"I was just thinking you're already getting into the Christmas spirit," she said glancing at his shirt.
He tugged at the shirt. "I just threw this on, this morning," he explained.
Grace nodded. "It suits you."
His brows shot up in a line. "You think so?"
Grace nodded. "Red was always a good color for you."
He nodded. "I'll need to remember that."
Grace looked over toward the trail. "Looks like the trail might be useable again. Maybe Emma and I can get home today."
She saw a flicker of disappointment sweep across his features. He nodded. "That makes sense," he said curtly. She told herself that the last thing he wanted was for her to leave. Especially now that the situation with Ryan had improved.
Grace glanced up at the clear blue sky. "I don't think it's going to snow again. At least not for a while."
Josh leaned against one of the porch supports. "Perhaps you're right. Time you and Emma went home." She could still hear the disappointment in his voice. He was having a hard time hiding it. Josh turned and faced Grace. "Thank you for your help. I couldn't have done this without you and Emma."
Grace frowned. "I don't know about that. Miriam is great. And Wyatt probably just needs a little persuading. I think you've got everything you need."
Josh lifted a brow. "Everything?" he asked quietly. His soft gaze settled on Grace. She felt butterflies tumbling in her middle. Heat flushed her cheeks and she turned her head away from him. All morning, she'd been wondering how she was going to talk to him about what had happened last night. About the kiss. Maybe now was the moment, she told herself.
Grace faced him again. "About last night, Josh," she started to say, but stopped, silent, when she saw him move toward her.
"What about it?" he asked evenly.
Grace sighed and tried to swallow, but her throat was tight. "Maybe we shouldn't read too much into it."
Josh frowned. "What do you mean? Don't tell me you regret it."
Grace shook her head. "Of course not. How could I? It's just that we've been apart for such a long time. So much has happened."
His gaze became suddenly stern. "You're trying to tell me we've both changed. That we aren't the people we once were. Is that it?"
Grace shrugged. "In a way, yes. Your life with Ryan is so different now. And, you're trying to find a way to rebuild your life. And Ryan's."
"I know that, Josh," Grace said moving toward him. "And I think you're doing an amazing job."
Josh grunted. The sound took Grace by surprise. She peered up at him and saw that his features had darkened visibly. "Being a father is harder than I thought. Maybe I'm not up to it. Perhaps my pa was right about me."
Grace was momentarily startled by his admission. By the honesty. But that had always been Josh's way. He'd always been capable of being brutally honest. Even if there were times when it wasn't the best thing to do. Grace thought about Josh's father. About the exacting standards he'd always asked of his two boys. Was that why Josh was so sensitive about becoming a father? Was it about measuring up to his own father's expectations of him?
Grace gazed at Josh. He was still looking out across the yard. "I believe you can do it, Josh. I truly do."
Josh turned to look at Grace. "You're just saying that, Grace."
She shook her head firmly. "No, I'm not, Josh." She felt her jaw tighten as she peered into his eyes, willing herself to make him believe what she had just told him. "What your father thought of you should be left in the past. He was wrong about you."
"Maybe not," Josh objected.
"He was wrong about one thing," Grace declared. "That when it came to accepting God's will, obeying His command that you make a sacrifice for someone else, you would do what He was asking of you. No matter what your pa thought of you."
She saw Josh's face flush as red as his shirt. She saw uncertainty in Josh's steady gaze. Maybe she'd sowed a seed of doubt there, Grace told herself.
Josh sighed. "That's all very well. But, if my pa was here, I think he'd have seen what happened this weekend, seen the help I needed, and told himself I was weak."
Grace glared at Josh. "You're not a weak man, Josh. It takes real courage to do what you've taken on." Grace sighed. "And only someone with a decent character would even admit he can't take care of Ryan on his own. Admitting you need others is real strength, Josh."
This time, Josh smiled. Perhaps she was getting through to him, after all, Grace told herself. Josh rubbed his hands across his stubble-covered chin. "Speaking of needing the help of others. Are you planning on coming by again?"
Momentarily taken aback by his obvious request, Grace paused before replying. "If you want me to," she replied.
Josh leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Of course I want you to come here, Grace. As many times as you like." As if realizing that his last remark was too personal he added: "Ryan really likes you."
Heart racing faster, thoughts quickening suddenly, Grace took a step back. "I think he just likes the attention," she said defensively.
Josh shook his head. "No. I think there's more to it than that."
Grace glanced over toward the ranch hands who were clearing the yard of snow. This wasn't the time or place for a repeat of what had happened the night before. "I need to go speak to Emma. Get ready to go back home."
His features tightened with obvious frustration. He paused a moment and then nodded. "I'll get one of the ranch hands to prepare your buckboard."
Grace nodded without replying to his resigned comment. And then she moved quickly back into the house.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Two days passed. Days that were longer than any Josh had ever experienced. And there was only one reason for that. Grace had left Ranch Munro on the Monday. Now it was Wednesday afternoon, and she still hadn't returned. For the last two days, Josh had been unsettled. And that was putting it mildly. Of course, Ryan's improving condition had been a great satisfaction. The boy was up out of bed now, and spending most of his time in the parlor under the watchful eye of Josh, Miriam and, occasionally, Wyatt.
Forbidden to go outside, even though the snow had largely thawed and melted, Ryan was becoming increasingly restless. Still, Josh was pleased to see a change in his adopted son. Having become sick as a result of his forest escapade, Ryan seemed to have finally got the message that running off onto the snowy rangeland was a bad thing to do. Requests to go outside were few and far between.
Forced confinement had brought some surprising advantages, too. Josh had taken the opportunity to spend as much time as he could with Ryan. Josh had learned a great deal from Grace and Emma about what it took to keep a five-year-old boy occupied. And, Josh had applied those lessons to the time he'd spent with Ryan since Grace's departure for the Buchanan ranch. All day Tuesday, Josh and Miriam had worked hard to keep Ryan occupied.
Then, Josh had made a discovery. The boy liked stories being read to him. In one of the rooms of the house, Josh found some familiar books which he and Wyatt had used when they'd been young. Collections of children's stories which Josh remembered his father reading to him when he'd been young. Josh had brought the books to the parlor and had spent pleasant hours reading the stories to Ryan. The boy had been captivated by the tales. Maybe Ryan's real father hadn't had the time to read that much to Ryan. If that was the case, Josh reflected, then that was another part of Ryan's life in which Josh could find ways to improve things.
From time to time, during the time spent with Ryan, Josh's mind drifted to his conversation on the porch with Grace. He thought about her opinion about his father, Obadiah, and figured she might well be right. Perhaps, Obadiah would be pleased with how his absent son had turned out, Josh reflected. After all, hadn't Obadiah done all he could to try and make Josh take responsibility in life? Josh figured that might be the case. But, there was still something inside him, holding Josh back from completely forgiving his father. Memories of arguments, humiliations, hurtful incidents were never far from Josh's mind whenever he thought about his father. And the pain of those times still burned inside him. Healing those wounds was taking a long time, Josh reflected. Would they ever be completely healed?
Soon after lunchtime on the Wednesday, Josh was in the parlor with Ryan when he heard a buckboard rolling to a halt out in the yard. He went to the window and looked out. His heart leaped when he saw Grace, getting down from the buckboard's seat. She was alone, which made things even better, as far as he was concerned. She paused at the side of the buckboard and saw Josh gazing out the window. When she smiled and waved at him, his heart filled with instant good feeling. She was dressed in an elegant green overcoat, brown boots and fur-edged winter hat.
Josh turned to Ryan who was sitting on the carpet in front of the fire playing with some toy soldiers. "We have a visitor, Ryan," Josh announced.
Ryan leaped up and ran to the window. "Miss Buchanan!" he exclaimed.
Josh mussed Ryan's thick hair. "Yup, Ryan. She's come back," he said, not even trying to hide the satisfaction in his voice. The sound of Ryan's enthusiastic yell filled the room.
Josh went to the front door and threw it open. Grace halted on the porch. She was carrying a large parcel wrapped in brown paper and string. Wondering what it was, Josh glanced inquiringly at it.
Grace shook her head, said nothing, and walked right into the house. As she swept past him, Josh caught her aroma, a heady mixture of spices and sweetness. Ryan ran to Grace and threw his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. Grace smiled at Josh. By the look in her eyes, he could see she was genuinely moved by Ryan's enthusiastic welcome.
"Welcome back, Miss Buchanan," Ryan exclaimed, gazing up at Grace.
Holding the parcel in the crook of one arm, she rested her hand on Ryan's shoulder. "How are you feeling?" she asked him. "Better?"
Ryan nodded. "Pa has been playing with me the whole time you've been away," Ryan announced. He flashed a look in Josh's direction. "And you've been reading me stories, haven't you pa," Ryan added.
Grace looked at Josh and lifted a brow. "Stories?"
Josh nodded. "I found some of my old story books." He went to Ryan and rested his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "We've been having a great time with those dragons and princes, haven't we, Ryan?"
The Rancher’s Christmas Miracle Page 11
