You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy

Home > Other > You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy > Page 6
You Don't Look Fat, You Look Crazy Page 6

by Ashley Longshore


  “THIS IS A STICKUP”

  A mystery novel about pussy stuff. This painting is about the new woman. A woman who has power. This doesn’t mean she hates men, and it doesn’t mean she hates other women. She is embracing all the positive things about herself and using that energy to be a bad motherfucking bitch.

  V

  VAGINAS

  GIVE ME A V!!! I feel so lucky to have a pussy. They’re fun, they’re funny, and they’re fucking crazy. A vagina is a mysterious fucking thing; it’s a bit like Pandora’s box. I like to think that maybe the vagina is this massive antenna for all that is happening in the universe. Maybe it’s where we women get our intuition. Women are amazing creatures; we have this extra thing that allows us to be the mother, the wife, the lover, the businessperson, the multitasker—all at the same time. To have a pussy is the most awesome fucking thing on the planet.

  W

  “WHORE RED LIPSTICK”

  This one’s for my mother. Every time she saw a woman with red lipstick, she’d turn to me and say, “Look at that whore in that whore-red lipstick.” And now, thanks to her, whore red is my favorite lipstick color.

  “WONDER WOMAN”

  If you’re a Woman who truly embraces every opportunity, who faces the world head on, your power is unlimited. That’s what this painting means. Who’s running things? Well, you are, Wonder Woman.

  Y

  “YOU DIDN’T GO TO HARVARD AND YOU AIN’T FAMOUS—NOW WHAT?”

  This country is all about branding, your pedigree, and what street your house is on. If you say you went to Harvard, people are immediately like “Ooh, you must be amazing.” If you didn’t go to Harvard, and you ain’t famous, you’re either going to be sucking for it or working for it. They’re both jobs—one of them just happens to be the oldest job in the goddamn world.

  Acknowledgments

  MY TEAM! Kate Grace Bauer, my amazing gallery director, Rachel Brown, Shannon Thomas, Sofia Ricardo, Jessy Fofana! My Sicilian grandfather Ernest Lupinacci who found me on Instagram and was the spark who made this wildness happen. To the incredible Judith Regan who is a trail blazer for women and is absolutely SUPERPUSSY.

  My florist Monique Chauvin who keeps me surrounded by orchids. Nikki Epstein, who keeps my garden gorgeous and keeps flowers blooming all around me. I’d like to thank the great city of New Orleans for giving me the most fertile wild soil to be creative in. This city inspires all of my wildness and confidence. My best friends who have stuck by my wild, dramatic ass for life, and in memory of Patrick B Hale, my sweet friend who I know is with me every second.

  About the Artiste / Superpussy / Author

  ASHLEY LONGSHORE’S pop art paintings are never shy of daring. A prolific artist at a pivotal moment in her career, Ashley has been compared to Andy Warhol for her obsession with pop culture figures and brands as well as her relationships with celebrities. She has had major collaborations with brands such as Clé de Peau and Anthropologie and has emblazoned the path for pop art and fashion to coexist. Her work has been featured in magazines in both the United States and countries around the world including Switzerland, Belgium, Japan, and Australia, where collectors have begun to acquire her unique pieces. Her celebrity clientele includes Blake Lively, who describes Ashley’s work as “elegant yet rebellious.” She lives in New Orleans, home to the Ashley Longshore Studio Gallery.

  65 Bleecker Street

  New York, NY 10012

  Copyright © 2017 by Ashley Longshore

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Regan Arts Subsidiary Rights Department, 65 Bleecker Street, New York, NY 10012.

  First Regan Arts edition, February 2017

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2016939713

  ISBN 978-1-68245-044-4

  ISBN 978-1-68245-045-1 (ebook)

  Names and identifying details of some of the people portrayed in this book have been changed.

  Interior design by Alisha Petro

  Cover and interior art by Ashley Longshore

  Cover design by Richard Ljoenes

 

 

 


‹ Prev