“You do that, beautiful, and I’ll see you at your place at seven.”
He hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair resting his head on his hands.
Cara Anthony was going to be Mrs. Alexander Mackenzie, if it killed him.
* * * * *
“Darling, that red dress is soooo perfect on you.”
Cara curtsied for Simone, “Thank you.”
“Another hot date?” Mia called from the bathroom.
“Yeah, Alex is picking me up. We’re going to his place for dinner.”
“Very intimate.” Katia cooed and patted Cara’s cheek.
Cara blushed. She and Alex had been seeing each other for a solid month now. There hadn’t been a day when they were not together.
She eyed the girls as they polished their nails and leafed through fashion magazines, biting her lip. An ominous vibe she couldn’t shake had haunted her all day, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask them.
No, she wouldn’t ask. It would be saying the words out loud and they might lead to confirmation of her worst fears. No, she wouldn’t ask.
“What’s up, lamb chop?” Katia cocked her pretty head in Cara’s direction.
“Nothing…” she cleared her throat, “I was just thinking how nice that shade of red is on your nails.”
“You like? It’s tres fantastique, no?”
Cara nodded her approval and smiled at Katia. Her legs wobbled a bit as she slipped into the red shoes.
Damn, something felt very wrong. She shook off the chill that ran up her spine, reminding herself that when this was over, it was over. That was officially that.
It sucked the breath from her lungs as she made her way to the bathroom to check her makeup. Clutching the sink, her heart threatened to pump right out of her chest.
Oh, God. I don’t want to know when this will all end.
Why don’t you want it to end, Cara? Why don’t you just ask, you chicken?
Because she loved him. She loved Alex Mackenzie.
Jesus Christ in a miniskirt. She loved Alex Mackenzie.
Gripping the smooth porcelain of the sink, she sank down to sit on the edge of the bathtub, letting the cool surface rest against her forehead.
C’mon, Cara, you idiot, of course you love him.
Yes, yes, yes. She loved him and no matter how hard she’d tried to keep her one night stand theory, it had turned into a one night month.
A month filled with long episodes of lovemaking and talking into the early hours of the morning. Talking about everything and nothing, sharing meals and walks at lunch.
Damn.
Okay, so she loved him. Cara looked down at her feet. She still had the shoes. For the moment anyway.
Make the best of what’s left and move on when it was over.
“Caaaara, lover boy’s here.” Mia called from the bedroom with a giggle.
“Okay…” she whispered, clearing her throat, “Okay Mia, gimme a sec and I’ll be right there.” She attempted to disguise the fear she heard in her voice.
She took one last look at herself in the mirror and swung open the bathroom door.
“Have a wonderful evening, darling. Kiss, kiss.” Simone called after her.
Cara’s waggled her fingers at them keeping her head down. Her stomach heaved as she made her way to the front door to greet Alex.
When she opened the door, her heart skipped a beat and her legs threatened to fall out from under her. He was so incredibly handsome that she couldn’t speak.
Yup, she was in love.
* * * * *
Cara sat on the edge of the kitchen counter as she watched Alex slug back his third beer in less than two hours. She nibbled on a cracker that had some sort of goose liver on it. Alex had called it foie gras, or something like that. It landed like lead in her stomach.
Alex took another gulp of his beer and caught her wrinkling her nose. “You don’t like it?”
She could hear the disappointment in his tone. “I do like it,” she lied through her pearly whites. “You’d better slow down on that beer, toy man, or you won’t be able to drive me home.”
He rubbed his palms against his thighs and opened the oven to check the rack of lamb he was basting, every fifteen minutes just like the recipe said.
“Are you all right, Alex?” she asked nervously. That bad vibe kept filling the air and smothering her.
He came to stand between her legs. She popped the cracker with the foie gras into his mouth. He made a face and grabbed his beer from the counter to wash it down.
“Yuk, that sucks.”
She laughed at him, “Yeah, it kinda does. Sorry, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings after you’d gone to all of this trouble.”
Alex kissed her hard. “I think I went overboard in the ‘let’s impress the girl department’, wouldn’t you say?”
“The lamb smells delicious. You can make it up to me.”
He pressed against her, scooting her bottom down to wrap her legs around him and thrust his linen clad hips suggestively against her.
Cara put her arms around his neck and rested her cheek in the hollow of his neck. Alex nipped her shoulder, “I love the way you smell.”
She raised her eyes to meet his. Those dark chocolate pools, fringed with lashes no man should be allowed to have. “Smells better than foie gras, I’ll bet.”
Running his tongue over her shoulder, he found her mouth again. Cara melted against him, letting her hands roam over his thick back.
“Isn’t it time to baste that lamb, mister?” she whispered against his mouth.
“I’d rather baste you.”
“Ooooh I love when you baste me,” she purred at him seductively, “but you can baste me after we eat, cause I’m starving and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to indulge in something other than macaroni and cheese.”
“All right you cheeky wench. But I’m basting you as soon as you do the dishes.”
“As soon as I do the dishes?” she mocked indignation.
“You didn’t think I was going to go to all of this trouble and you weren’t going to help, did you?”
Cara slid off the counter and slipped past him, pinching his ass on the way. She wandered off to his living room and called over her shoulder, “Maybe you can convince me to do the dishes, but it might involve the ‘Buzz my Gear’ vibrator.”
She listened to the sound of his deep, rumbling laughter as she picked up a photo off the mantle. A couple, in their forties she’d venture to guess, were seated between Alex and she assumed his brother Adam. They had their arms wrapped around one another, with wide smiles on their faces.
Tall mountains in the backdrop were iced with snow.
“That picture was taken in Colorado. We’d just gone hiking in those mountains.”
Cara turned to find Alex lying on the couch, his arm behind his head. She looked back at the mantle and scanned the family pictures that lined it.
“Did you go on family trips often?”
“Yeah…we did…” his voice sounded a bit slurred and slow.
“We used to, too. I used to hate getting in that station wagon and waiting to get where we were going. But looking back on it now, they were some of the best memories I have of my parents.” She ran her finger along the picture of Alex at the Grand Canyon. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen, but already a hunk in his own right.
“I love these shorts you have on in this picture Alex, very cute…” Cara turned to tease him and found he was fast asleep. Snoring drifted to her ears from the couch. Her heart swelled with love as she watched him sleep.
She put the picture back and went to turn the oven off in the kitchen. A nap might be just the thing she needed to shake the bad feelings she couldn’t seem to escape.
She grabbed the blanket from the end of the couch, climbing over his sleeping form and draping the blanket over both of them. Cuddling against his thick chest, his arm went instinctively around her shoulders and as her eyes slid closed, she t
hought she heard him say on a sigh, “I love you, Cara.”
* * * * *
Cara woke with a start, her teeth were chattering and she was cramped from lying in the same position for so long. Alex was still snoring beside her. She stretched her legs and wiggled her feet.
Her feet. Holy shit! They were bare.
She tried to sneak a peek under the blanket but Alex had it wrapped tightly around him. She wiggled her way out from under him and quietly slipped off the couch.
She only had one shoe. Omigod!
Where was the other shoe? She’d had them both on when she fell asleep, but only one dazzling red pump remained. Cara’s heart pounded and her head spun as she hobbled around on one foot.
It was still dark, but the moonlight streaming from the window shone a path to the kitchen. She pulled off the other shoe and went in search of a flashlight.
No luck. Shoes just didn’t disappear.
Cara tiptoed back to the living room and crouched down in front of the sofa. She slid her hand underneath the couch and felt around. Alex stirred and moaned something unidentifiable in his sleep. She laid her body flat to the floor and held her breath. He mumbled something and rolled over. She did one more sweep under the couch and came up with nothing, but a hand full of dust bunnies.
Now it was time to panic.
Her hands felt clammy as she ran them through her hair. Where the fuck was her other shoe?
She lifted the crocheted afghan at Alex’s feet and glanced underneath, squinting her eyes to adjust to the darkness.
Nothing.
Shit, shit, shit!
She wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged herself tightly. The clock on the microwave said five thirty. The sun would rise, and Alex would wake up. He’d find her without the shoes and that damn word “over” would have a whole new meaning.
She held the lone shoe in her hand. She wanted to fling it at the wall in frustration.
Her time was officially up. Like Cinderella at the ball, midnight had struck.
She had to get out of here before he woke up, leave, and never look back.
Why couldn’t she stay and just see what might happen if he saw her without the shoes? Because she couldn’t bear it if he didn’t want her. She couldn’t take the truth because she was a coward of the worst order.
Tears stung her eyes as they fell in big drops to the hardwood floor beneath her feet. Her hand trembled as she softly touched Alex’s lips with her finger. His handsome face was peaceful as he slept. A small smile curved his lips at the touch of her finger.
She turned away and clenched her hands into fists, stuffing one in her mouth to keep from crying out. Before she could change her mind, she grabbed her purse and stumbled to the front door.
With one last glance at Alex and she opened the door, closing it softly behind her.
* * * * *
Cara sat on the couch, one shoe on and one obviously not. Numb was probably the word she would attribute to the heavy weight in the pit of her stomach and the even heavier feeling in her limbs. She’d called a cab from the end of Alex’s road, with her cell phone.
When it came to pick her up, if the driver noticed she was missing a shoe, he didn’t say anything. She didn’t remember much but paying him after he deposited her at her door.
She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting on the couch, nor did she know how many times the phone rang. The answering machine picked up and Alex left message after message, but she covered her ears.
The BEAST came to sit with her, snuggling against her side and requiring nothing more than a warm body. At the moment it was all she had left to give.
The pounding at the door startled her. She flew to the door, wobbling as she stumbled to it on her one remaining shoe. The peephole revealed Alex, his face a mask of fury. She turned away and leaned her back against the door.
“Cara, what the hell is going on?”
Alex pounded on her door with a heavy thud, the vibration knocking against her back and tearing at her heart. “Cara, what the hell is going on?” he repeated, “Let me in so we can talk about whatever is wrong. Dammit woman, I love you, do you hear me?”
Cara sucked in a gulp of air, “You don’t understand, Alex. Go away, you don’t really know me,” she babbled to the empty room.
“If you’re the same Cara Anthony I’ve been dating for a month, then I think I’m pretty familiar with you, and I know love you,” he yelled through the steel of the door.
Now what?
He loved the girl in the shoes, not the real Cara Anthony. The girl who’d served eggs to him every morning a full year before he’d even noticed her.
“No, Alex this isn’t love. This is lust and lust fades. So it’s over. Go away, Alex!” She could never tell him how she really felt. He’d laugh in her face once he saw her without the shoes, he wouldn’t even remember why he went out with her.
She could feel his anger simmering hot through the cool of the door. “So what you’re saying is this past month has been great sex, but thanks, Alex I think I’ll skip the commitment part? I didn’t take you for that kind of girl, Cara.” The disappointment she heard in his voice tore at her heart and tied her stomach into a knot.
She wanted to scream “I’m not that kind of girl”. Cara shook her head, she knew this all would come to a screeching halt, but she wasn’t ready to get off the train yet.
“So you don’t love me. Is that what you’re telling me?” He said it, because she couldn’t.
She couldn’t bear to answer him. She couldn’t have spoken if she tried. She couldn’t say the words and make them sound truthful. He slammed his hand against the door one last time before she heard his heavy footsteps move away and grow dim.
Cara cast her eyes to the floor as tears fell, marring the pretty dress she still wore. She glimpsed her fabulous red pump. One damn pump.
Damn these shoes or at least the one she had left. Damn it all. She slid down to the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest tightly, kicking off the one remaining shoe. It skid across the floor and hit the far wall. The fabulous red hue seemed dull now.
And then, she cried.
Chapter 10
The shrill ringing of the phone woke her from a sound sleep on the couch. She wouldn’t answer it, so whoever it was could fuck off and die.
The click of the answering machine sent out the sound of her voice. She cringed as it reverberated around the room. “Please leave a message after the tone…”
“Cara! Cara Anthony, you pick up this phone right now!”
She groaned, it was Ruby. Damn.
She dragged herself off the couch and fumbled for the phone on the end table. “Ruby? I’m sorry, I was asleep.”
Ruby snorted on the other end. “No kidding.” Sarcasm dripped from her tone.
Cara rubbed the heel of her hand over her eyes. “I’m sorry, Ruby.”
“Don’t be sorry, just come back to work. We miss you. Mr. Booty-licious, misses you too. He’s wandering around here all confused and moping. He’s been trying to call you, sugar.”
Cara felt her chest tighten and the tears begin to well in her eyes. Crap, she would not cry again. She would not. Her eyes were small, slit-like, burning coals of fire in her head from crying.
“I need a couple of days, Ruby. I’m not feeling well. Just a couple of days to get things together and then I promise I’ll be back.”
She couldn’t ever face Alex again, maybe she could just give Ruby the cafeteria lock, stock and barrel. She had money tucked away. She could move and never look back. She’d done a lot of not looking back lately. She could adjust.
She pressed her fist to her mouth to keep from crying as she listened to Ruby.
“Well, honey, if you say so. I can handle things here, but you have to come back sometime.”
“I know, Rube. I know.”
“I’m not gonna pressure you to talk to me, but old Ruby is here if you need her.”
She sniffed, “Okay, Ruby
. Thanks, I’ll see you in a couple of days.” She clicked the end button on the phone and lay back down.
Her eyes scanned the room, landing on the half-finished carton of Haagen Dasz. She groaned.
“Didn’t I tell you she was feeling sorry for herself?” the high-pitched little girl voice accused.
Cara sat straight up.
“Darling, why is it so dark in here?” Simone pulled the blinds open with a tug.
The light hurt her eyes, making them tear, as she squinted at the foggy form. “Go away, please just go away.” She flopped back down and pulled the old blanket over her head.
She felt the couch sag beneath someone’s weight. “Lamb chop, have you been eating this?” Cara could hear the condemnation in Katia’s question.
She tugged the blanket from Cara’s hands and held up the carton of double fudge chocolate chip. “Well, have you?”
“Yes, and I don’t give a crap what it does to my thighs, okay? Now, go away.”
“Cranky, cranky,” Mia sing-songed.
Hell’s bells, couldn’t they just let her wallow in her misery? Who gave a shit about their thighs when they felt this miserable?
“Get up, darling. Enough is enough.”
Says who?
“I said get up, Cara, and stop behaving like a child. Don’t make me raise my voice. It’s not good for the vocal chords. It strains them,” Simone reminded her.
Screw you.
Mia’s farm-fresh face was inches from hers. “And stop with the dirty thoughts. Those aren’t nice, either.” She grinned at her, her pearly white teeth sparkling in the midday sun.
Cara sat up with great reluctance, pushing her untidy hair out of her eyes. The tangled mess hung limply around her face.
“Oh, Cara! Look at you. You look… you look…well, I can tell you it isn’t pretty.” Katia gave her the once over with her critical, supermodel eye.
“Thank you.” Fuck you.
Mia shook her finger at Cara, “Don’t be snide, Cara, it’s unattractive and mean.”
“Listen Mia, capital M, little i, little a, go the hell away!” she roared at them. Dragging her blanket out from under Katia, she took it and her misery to her bedroom and slammed the door.
F.M.P. Society Page 11
