by V. Vaughn
I let out a huff of air as I mentally kick myself. I have to tell Brindle I’m pregnant. Tonight. No matter what happens with us, he deserves to know he’s going to be a father and has fulfilled his duty to the pack by providing a new member for this generation.
***
I set my alarm to wake me just before midnight, but I don’t need it, because I never fall asleep. According to Devon, Brindle is still with his girlfriend because she saw them together this afternoon. So instead of napping, I torture myself with scenarios of how my news about being pregnant will play out. None of them were good.
The soft melodic howl of my mate calls me, and I peer out the window to see him on the lawn. Lust for him stirs in my beast’s belly, and I don’t push it out of my mind. I think he’s the most beautiful wolf imaginable, and I long to stroke his fur with my human hand. I wave and rush to be with him.
Tonight I don’t hesitate to shift, and it begins to happen before I’ve finished getting undressed. The moment I’m able to, I take off in a sprint with Brindle by my side. We repeat the wolf version of tag we played last night, and I challenge myself with higher jumps and maneuvers. The sensation of power is intoxicating, and I don’t stop until we reach a pond.
It’s a favorite swimming hole for Winter Valley residents during the day, and I’m familiar with the area. But seeing it as a wolf is novel. I stop to gaze at the moonlight sparkling across the ripples of water caused by a gentle breeze. Brindle stands next to me and nudges me with his snout as if he’s asking why I stopped, so I communicate with him. “It’s lovely here at night.”
My chest is still heaving with the exertion of our activity, and I take deep breaths as I focus on how to tell Brindle I’m pregnant. Growls and yips capture my attention, and I notice a pair of wolves on the other side of the pond. Their actions seem angry. “What’s going on?”
“That’s Lila and Serge. Serge just found his true mate, but because he changed Lila and mated with her, he has to stay with her instead of answering the call of his true love. Lila found out about it today.”
Poor Lila. Who would want to be with someone for life knowing they longed to be with another and there wasn’t anything that could be done?
I glance at Brindle watching the fight and say, “We should go.”
He nods his head toward the right side of the pond, and I follow him when he takes off. We continue to play until we reach the top of a high hill. There’s a clearing, and Brindle sits on a rock like it’s a throne as he gazes down into Winter Valley. I climb up to be next to him. He asks, “Do you like being a wolf now?”
I nudge him as a yes.
“You should participate in the pack. They’ve been asking about you.”
I growl softly in response because I don’t want to intrude on his life with the new girl. I wonder who she is and if she knows he was with me last night.
Brindle says, “It’s okay. They don’t expect you to be with me.”
I lift my snout and howl at the moon. I swear Brindle laughs as he tilts his head to do the same. Our songs harmonize for a while, and I lean against my mate in amazement. Across the clearing, a wolf exits the woods with a howl of her own. She’s darker in coloring and on the thin side. She approaches us but halts when her gaze captures mine. Her lip curls up with a growl, and she lowers on her haunches as though she’s about to jump on the rock to attack.
Brindle jumps down to block her, and she backs up with his snarling approach. Her head drops in submission, and Brindle nudges her and begins to nuzzle her neck as she responds in kind. Only it no longer looks angry. It is gentle and maybe loving.
What the...? My heart skips a beat when a thought comes to me. Could the wolf be his true mate? Oh, mother of holy dilemmas. I won’t be Lila. I can’t. I jump down off the rock, and she glares at me before running off.
I nudge Brindle. “Who was that?”
“Told you the girls would be jealous.”
Piss on a pretzel. It’s his girlfriend. I’ve lost the man I love, and it’s my fault. I’m grateful wolves don’t cry when I gaze at him. I can’t tell him I’m pregnant now. The Brindle I know would leave his girlfriend to do the right thing, and as much as that’s what I want, I can’t be second best.
I nip at Brindle playfully, but in truth, I bite a bit harder than I should because I’m mad. Mad at him for finding someone else and mad at myself for pushing him away. When I take off running, I go as fast as I can. As soon as we get to my clothes, I shift back. Still breathless from the exercise, I back away from Brindle when he approaches me. I long to stroke Brindle’s fur but force a smile instead. Pain grips my heart, and I say, “Tell her we’re still just friends. She can keep you.”
CHAPTER NINE
I allowed myself one day to wallow in self-pity over losing Brindle. It would have been easy to stay in bed for weeks, surviving on Vampire Diaries with my friends Ben and Jerry in their various forms. But my grades were posted, and my parents’ reaction was a slap in the face. I needed to take action to get my life on track.
I enrolled in summer school at Winter Valley University to retake the two classes I failed. And I went to work for Devon full time.
My alarm sounds, and I tap my phone to turn it off just as my mother comes into my bedroom. “Good morning, birthday girl.”
I rub sleep out of my eyes and sit up in my bed so she can set a breakfast tray down for me. “Chocolate chip waffles. Yum.”
My dad sticks his head into my room, and the clean scent of his aftershave floats toward me. “Happy birthday, Katie. Cake tonight?”
“Of course. Thanks, Dad. Have a good day.”
He leaves for work, and my mother climbs under the covers with me to help eat the sugary meal. She says over a mouthful of waffle, “I’m so glad I had a daughter.” She swallows her food and continues. “Otherwise, I’d be watching my son eat a protein-packed meal that he wouldn’t share.”
While I’ve spent the last six weeks unable to tell Brindle I’m pregnant, I know I’m ready to tell my mom. “How much do you like me being home?”
My mother steals the piece of waffle from my fork. “Too much. I’d prefer you never leave.”
“Good, because I might not.” I set my fork down, and my mother pauses in her chewing when she notices my serious face. “I’m pregnant.”
My mother gulps. “Okay.” She raises her eyebrows as she waits for more information.
Words rush out of my mouth. “It’s Brindle’s, and we got pregnant last spring, and I know I should have told you sooner, but I was afraid and... ” I let out a big breath. “I’m not sure what to do.”
My mother takes a sip of my juice before she speaks. “What does Brindle think?”
“I haven’t told him.”
Her face falls. “Oh, Katie. You need to tell him. He needs to be part of your decisions.”
“I know.”
She hugs me with one arm. “Tough love time. Whatever you need from Dad and me, it’s yours. But you’re an adult, and while my first instinct is to fix this for you, I can’t.”
I nod as tears fall. My mom stands and lifts the tray off my lap. “What are your plans today?”
I look up at her stern face. “Find Brindle?”
She offers me a small smile. “Good girl. You’re smart and capable, and you’ll figure out the best thing to do. I love you, Katie.” She walks toward the door.
“Mom?” My mother pauses and turns to look at me. “Are you disappointed in me?”
She shakes her head. “Honey, life throws us curveballs, and we have to deal with them the best way we know how. As long as you face your problems and take responsibility for your actions, I’ll never be disappointed in you.”
I think about how I haven’t been taking responsibility for my actions at all, and I need to start. I glance at the clock and realize I need to get moving if I want to make it to work on time. After a quick shower, I pull on the one pair of yoga pants that still fit and a tank top. The cotton ribbing is stretched ti
ght over my larger breasts and round belly, but it’ll do under the button-down shirt that I leave open across my chest. Pressed fabric is crisp in my hands as I roll up the sleeves and hope I look like I’m trying to be fashionable.
When I arrive at Devon’s salon, she gives me a big hug. “Happy birthday, bestie.”
“Thanks.” The hinge on the swinging door to the back room groans as I push my way through to stash my pocketbook. I notice a box full of hair care products waiting to be put on display, so I lift it up and back my way out with the heavy container. When I turn forward, I bump into Devon. She says, “Whoa!”
Hot coffee splashes on my arm and into the box. “Piss on a pretzel! I’m sorry.”
She dabs at her pants with a towel. “I’m fine. That’s why I always wear black.” Glancing up at me, she says, “But you should rinse out that white shirt before it stains.”
The box thuds on the counter, and I unbutton my blouse. Water rushes from the sink as I run it over the coffee stain, and I take my time to get as much out as I can. Sound is muffled by the noise, but I hear enough to know someone has entered the salon. A hand on my shoulder makes me turn my head to find Brindle. I flip off the water and spin around to face him.
He’s holding a small present, and the smile on his face fades as his gaze falls on my protruding stomach. His eyes flash at me as his face flushes with anger.
My hand darts to my stomach. “Brindle, I—”
“Didn’t think I should know? Didn’t want to be trapped with me forever?” He tosses the box onto a chair and steps toward me. He clenches his fists, and his musk invades my nose, making me want to inhale it. He’s fighting the urge to shift as he takes a calming breath.
“No, I was going to tell you,” I say.
“Really? When?” He huffs. “You’ve got to be the most selfish person I’ve ever known.” His voice becomes a growl, low enough in volume I barely hear him, and he grabs my arms as he leans in close. “I can’t believe you’re my true mate. You think being stuck with me is hell? Try being stuck with you forever.”
Tears fill my eyes as I whisper, “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.” Now hot moisture is rolling down my face, and Brindle releases me to step back.
He tilts his head at the chair and the shiny pink-wrapped gift he got me, and he turns to walk out. Under his breath he says, “Happy fucking birthday.”
Devon comes over to me when the door slams shut. “Are you okay?”
I nod. True mate? Holy mother of all werewolves, I’m Brindle’s true mate. Warmth rushes into my heart. I blink and let a smile form on my face. “Actually, I’m good.”
Devon’s brow knits at me in confusion. “The father of your child is pissed at you, as he should be. And you’re good?”
Joy spreads through my body, and it’s as if the sun is breaking through clouds of doubt. “I know what I need to do.”
CHAPTER TEN
Devon suggested I let Brindle cool off before going after him, and I agreed. While I know I’m ready for us to be together, he’s got to be too angry to think straight. And I get it. I have been a selfish brat. But he can’t help his feelings for me, and our bond means that love will always win, no matter how much he wishes that weren’t true right now. I know, because I spent almost a year trying to fight it.
After lunch, I can’t wait any longer, and Devon lets me have the afternoon off. My car engine hums as I drive down Main Street and search for a parking spot. I locate one near my destination, and I pull in. Sunlight bounces off a passing car to temporarily blind me when I get out, and coins clink against metal as I drop them in the meter.
I walk with purpose to Ryan’s Jewelry Store. The cool air conditioning blasts me when I enter, and Mr. Ryan smiles across a glass counter at me. I recognize his scent right away and smile back with our secret on my lips. He’s a werewolf, too.
“What can I do for you today, Katie?”
“I need a man’s wedding band, please.”
A huge grin covers his face, and I guess he knows I’m mated to Brindle. I ask, “Do you think this is a good idea?”
“One of the best ones I’ve heard all day. I’m glad you’ve come around.” His burly hand envelops mine as he grasps it, and I notice thick curls of hair on his arm that lead to his turned-up sleeve.
“How did you know?”
“I’m your alpha.” He speaks in a low voice even though we’re the only two in the shop, and I lean in to hear him. “Our pack is a family, and Brindle spoke to me before he mated with you. I’m sorry it wasn’t what you expected, but I knew you’d adjust with time. I’ve been waiting to welcome you.”
I whisper back, “Is the pack angry with me?”
Mr. Ryan releases my hand and speaks in a normal voice as he lifts a tray out of the case and places it on the counter. “Oh no. Your kind is very dear to us. You’ll see.”
The metal bands are smooth under my finger, and I trace them, deciding on the width that looks right. I pull out a brushed silver-toned ring and think of Brindle’s wolf eyes. “This one. I’m not sure of the size, but can it be exchanged when I know?”
“This is a surprise?”
I nod. “Kind of forward of me, I know. But considering what I’ve put Brindle through over the last year, I think he deserves to have me beg a little.”
Mr. Ryan chuckles. “Come in with him when you’re ready, and we’ll make sure it fits.”
I search my purse for my wallet, and Mr. Ryan places a ring box on the counter when I hand him my credit card. The black velvet container is soft in my hand as I hold it, waiting for my transaction to process.
Excitement over what I’m about to do makes me sign the slip with a flourish, and I almost skip out of the store. My next stop is Brindle’s current construction site. I called his boss earlier to ask where he was, and I hope my mate doesn’t throw a hammer at me when I get there.
Happiness carries me all the way to the site, but anxiety kicks in when I arrive. The car clunks into park, and I check my hair in the rearview mirror. Sweat makes my hand slippery when I grasp the handle of my door to get out.
My feet beat lightly up the wooden frame of the stairs as I make my way into the skeleton house. A band saw hums, and the tap-tap of hammers echoes through the air as I search for Brindle. I find him assisting the man cutting wood, and his back is shiny with moisture as I approach. The guy operating the machine nods at me, and I wait as they finish. He flips off the saw, and Brindle turns to me.
I raise my hand in a small wave as I clutch the velvet box tightly in the other. My body trembles slightly with adrenaline as I fear the worst. His gaze moves up and down my body, and he lets out a sigh that sounds like resignation. Brindle walks toward me and grabs my arm. His voice is gruff as he tugs me with him. “Not here.”
I start to speak anyway as he rushes me out of the house. “I’m so sorry. You should hate me, and I have been a selfish bra—”
Brindle’s grip gets stronger as he says, “I said not here.”
“Okay, but when I’m nervous, I can’t stop talking.”
His voice softens a bit. “I know, but try for just a few more yards.”
Dust flies up from our feet as he walks me to his truck, and the band saw whines as it restarts. The door groans as he opens it, and his fingers dig into my hips as he lifts me up to sit on the passenger seat so I don’t have to crane my neck to see his face.
He says, “Speak.”
The heady scent of his musk flows into me when I breathe, and I long to lick the salty skin of his chest. Being this close to my mate reminds me of when I was in heat, and my core twinges. I give myself a tiny headshake and remember the box in my hand. “I love you, Brindle. I love you so much it hurts, and I don’t want to be without you for another day.”
He squints his eyes at me and steps back to cross his arms. “What? Why now?”
“I came back this summer to stay. After mating season, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and I knew we needed to be together.” I
glance down at the ring box in my hand and begin to roll it around.
“Did you know you were pregnant?”
I lift my gaze back up to his face. “Not at first. When I found out, I meant to tell you. The first night we ran in the woods, I was going to, but I chickened out. And then the second night, we ran into your girlfriend. I thought she was your true mate, and I was keeping you from the love you deserve.”
Brindle’s hands drop to his sides. “That’s why you told me to stay with her?”
I nod. His gaze is intense, and I wonder what he’s thinking.
Brindle steps closer to me, and the heat from his body radiates, making me want to be held in his arms. “You made me think you hate being stuck with me. That’s what you’ve been saying for over a year now.”
I stare at him. “No. I mean, I did at first because I didn’t want to accept being a werewolf.” I reach out and take his hand. “But I don’t anymore. I think I might even like it. And it doesn’t matter as long as I’m with you.” I open his palm and place the box in it. “It’s always been you. I just needed time to grow up and realize it.” I close his fingers around the black velvet and gaze into his eyes. “Brindle, will you marry me?”
Confusion clouds his face, and he opens his hand to stare at the box. He hands it back to me. “You’ve known for months that you’re pregnant, and you kept it from me. I can’t be with someone who does things like that. I don’t trust you.”
He turns to walk away, and I jump down from the truck to follow him. “Brindle!” I grab his arm, and the muscles flex in my hand. “Wait.”
My mate turns back to me, and his face is hard when he says, “I know we have to end up together some day, but now it’s my turn to push you away. Because I just...” He throws his hands up. “Can’t.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The day after Brindle turned me down, I went to see Mr. Ryan to figure out how to assimilate into the pack. I also asked about how werewolves have babies and learned the process isn’t nearly as complicated as humans make it. Then I returned to work and school to keep myself too busy to mope.
