I took a deep breath and squeezed my nervous hands together. I swallowed before trying to speak, but still my voice betrayed me.
“Was it ... you,” I asked and felt the painful effort my vocal cords had to do to emit that sound. My throat hurt due to all the coughing and gagging, and my voice sounded hoarse and tired.
For a moment I felt ridiculous, standing there, not lifting a single finger to help that poor animal. But then I saw him shudder, which made me immediately alert, and his silver eyes opened to look at me. He instantly tried to stand up, baring his small sharp teeth as he hissed threateningly, making me take another step back. But his thin paws trembled and buckled under him, and more blood gushed from the deep cut that tore in his back. Even then he kept on threatening me, although he probably knew there was nothing he could do against me, and my eyes fell on that pool of blood that kept getting larger by the minute. What to do? If this goes on he’ll end up dying. My legs moved instinctively as the word death echoed in my mind.
I ran as fast as I could towards the kitchen and, with trembling, urgent hands, grabbed a bowl, filling it with clean water. I opened two drawers until I found the right one and took a clean cloth. I couldn’t just stand there and let him die. In truth, I had more than a few problems when the matter implied dealing with death. I just couldn’t allow it to come into that house and claim a life.
I ran back to the living room and, refusing to think about anything else, knelt next to the kitten, trying to find the best way to touch him. The small cat hissed at me once more and, with a surprisingly fast move for someone about to die, scratched my hand with one of his front paws.
“Stop that!” I scolded him, angry, as I noticed that the blood had started to ooze even faster from his injury due to his thoughtless movements. “Let me help! I can’t let you die,” I yelled, the weight of the idea alone crushing me, and he stopped emitting those threatening sounds, just staring at me with eyes too bright.
I took his sudden quietness as a sign that he’d allow me to get closer and carefully dipped the cloth in the water to clean his injury. The tiny animal shuddered, closing his eyes, his paws twitching and contracting involuntarily.
The blood wouldn’t stop flowing and despair started to creep in. He was quickly getting weaker and the water I’d brought had changed color completely.
“I don’t know what to do,” I confessed in a pained whisper. “I can’t even understand the seriousness of your injury, much less how to fix it.” I squeezed the cloth stained with blood. “How can I help? Can I call a veterinarian? Please, I don’t want you to die. Help me help you!” I pleaded, softly caressing his dark, twitching head, and the sound of his bell echoed all around me, startling me, since it was the same sound I had heard in the bathroom.
Before my baffled gaze, I watched as his small, furry body started to glow and change. I immediately tried to step back, but ended up falling on my butt, as I saw that the small cat slowly took on Human form. And then all that was left was what looked like a child, lying on a pool of blood.
His gasping breath filled the room, between moans of pain that propelled me back to action. I dragged myself to his side again, and as delicately as I could, pulled the small hand that pressured his wound, watching him in horror. To my surprise his skin was warm, even feverish as with any Human Being, and his pained expression dug deep in my heart. He was just a small boy.
“Everything will be all right, everything will be all right,” I repeated, more for my benefit than his, refusing to think about what he was or the fact that he’d just tried to kill me. The cut that tore his soft skin was deep, stretching from the side of his rib cage to his belly, and it kept bleeding profusely with each forced inspiration. “Jesus! This, this needs stitches!” I was sure as my panic grew. How could I simply take him to a hospital? It was impossible! “OK, OK, think,” I ordered myself, trying to stop my hands from shaking. “I’ll be right back.” I jumped to my feet, stumbling as I rushed out of the room.
I ran upstairs into the bathroom and ransacked the medicine cabinet, throwing the unneeded stuff over my shoulder and filled the small laundry basket with bandages, a pack of gauze, tape, cotton and a bottle of Betadine solution. I ran downstairs once again, almost tripping on the stairs, and went back to his side. He was still there, lying in that pool of blood that had clearly grew in my absence.
“This is going to hurt,” I warned nervously as I dipped a piece of cotton ball in Betadine and started carefully cleaning his wound. His body twitched and trembled, his small hands closed tight, small droplets of sweat shining on his brow. But still he didn’t cry, his screams of pain forcibly muffled behind clenched lips as he squeezed his eyes shut.
Even after cleaning his wound, the bleeding wouldn’t stop. Of course he needed stitching, I told myself once more and even considered doing it myself, but immediately gave up on the idea because I’d probably end up making things worse. In despair, I almost called Michael, needing to share the responsibility with someone else, but I stopped myself. It would only make the situation more complicated and I’d have a lot of explaining to do.
I placed the gauze pads over his wound, nervously watching as they rapidly changed color, and tied them in place with the white bandages around his thin torso, careful not to move him too much. When I finished he was breathing more softly, although from time to time his body still twitched, his childish face crossed by an expression of pain. I took a deep breath and sat there, watching over him, until he became completely still, as if he’d fallen asleep.
Lying like that on my living room floor, he looked like any six-year-old boy would. His hair was black, his skin soft like a child’s. He was naked except for the red ribbon around his neck with its small bell. He was small and thin and I was sure I could easily pick him up. I considered the idea, wanting to take him upstairs, but was afraid to move him. And so I stood up and grabbed one of Gabriel’s blankets, carefully folded over an empty suitcase, and a pillow from the couch. I went back to him and watched him for a moment. That was not a child, I sternly reminded myself. I couldn’t allow his innocent appearance to deceive me. That boy had attacked me just a few moments ago!
Even so, I covered his naked body and carefully raised his head to place it on the pillow. What else could I do? The extent of his injuries worried me and I was sure he’d only get worse.
I gathered all the bloodied things and took them to the kitchen. Then, with nothing else to do, I went back to him, sitting next to his unconscious body, standing watch, waiting for the worst. I wondered where Gabriel had gone. I was sure he’d been the one to hurt him, but his soft expression as he caressed the small cat’s fur was still present in my mind. Maybe he’d lost control. I was sure he hadn’t meant to kill him, or he’d done it without a doubt. Either way, right then he was the only one I knew who could help that child.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The sound of a small bell woke me up and I instinctively pulled away, urgently looking for the threat’s origin. I froze in place when I saw him sitting up, surrounded by the blanket. The eyes that stared at me were Human in shape, but still silver in color, and the bandages around his naked torso were drenched in blood.
My heart jumped, making me react, although I still kept my distance.
“You shouldn’t be sitting!” I said urgently. “Your wound ...”
“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” he simply answered. His voice was a child’s voice, but his tone was far from childish.
“But,” I started, confused.
“I heal fast. At least faster than you Humans,” he added, contempt clear in his voice, and I was forcibly reminded that that child was nothing like me. “I still haven’t healed completely, though.” He pressed his bloodied bandages. “But tomorrow there won’t even be a mark.”
I swallowed hard. Although I was considerably frightened and knew he’d just tried to harm me, facing that child was nothing compared with the pure horror that took over me every time I was near Gabrie
l. Next to that child I could easily maintain control over my own body and thoughts.
“Your name is Lea?”
“Suileabhan,” he corrected me and I was sure that it wasn’t the first time I’d heard it.
“And you’re that ... black cat?”
“It’s my other shape,” he simply explained.
I took a moment to digest it. “So, from the beginning that cat was you?” He tilted his head to one side, his silver eyes locked on me, and seemed puzzled by my question. I sighed, understanding his silent answer, and took a sweaty hand to my face. The small cat I’d carried in my arms, the kitten that had slept in my bed, hadn’t been a cat at all. “What’s your true shape?”
“This is my primary shape. The shape my Master gave me.” He answered with unmistakable pride in his child-like voice.
“Master?”
“You call him Gabriel.”
My heart stopped for an instant. All that was needed was the simple mention of his name and the symptoms were immediately back.
“He knew who you were? Did you come with him?” I asked, trying to remain logical, and Lea shook his head.
“No. My Master evoked me once he was released. I waited a very long time for it to happen.” He answered with a small smile and I felt a heavy weight in my chest. It was clear that child adored him. How could he have done something like that?
“How long is a long time?”
“Hmm ...” he mused taking his index finger to his lips, as if he was making some mental calculation, and smiled as he reached an answer. “Eighty Human years? More or less, I guess.”
“Eighty years!” I retorted incredulously. “He was Sealed for eighty years?”
The boy lowered his gaze, looking sad, his skinny shoulders slanting down.
“A very long time, all alone in the darkness where there’s nothing. No sound, no cold, no heat. I thought ... I thought I’d never see him again,” he told me, his voice filled with pain, and I was speechless for a moment.
Darkness and nothing else? I couldn’t imagine it. I remembered him standing still under the pouring rain, his face turned upwards towards the sky. At that time I hadn’t understood what he meant when he said he was simply feeling. Eighty years of feeling nothing, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. I saw him as he slowly savored his food. If what that child said was true, those were things only Gabriel could probably truly appreciate. Usually, people only valued things that they’d lost. That’s what he’d told me.
I realized Lea was watching me attentively and I was once more reminded of what had happened.
“Why did you ...” I started and hesitated. “Why did you try to kill me?” He didn’t look surprised by my question, but his eyes glowed coldly, giving him a feral look. “I mean, why now? You had so many other opportunities. All the nights you slept in my bed, all the times I read to you.”
He lowered his gaze and frowned as if struggling with the idea.
“Because it’s enough,” he ended up concluding. “We’ve been here for far too long and this is not good for my Master. We have to return home!”
I tried to decipher his words, wondering where ‘home’ was, from that child’s point of view.
“Hmm, you mean that should I die, he’ll be free from our Contract and could leave here.” I summed it up and he nodded without raising his head. “I see.”
“But Master was angry with me and he’d never gotten this angry before,” he added with such a sorrowful expression that I couldn’t help feeling sad for him. Human or not, although his words were far from belonging to a child, his feelings matched perfectly with his physical appearance. He sobbed softly and tears streamed down his face.
I took a deep breath and crawled to him. I couldn’t just watch a child cry and do nothing. I placed a hand on his head, feeling how his tussled hair was soft, and carefully pulled him against my chest, fearing I might hurt him. I felt his body tense up, surprised by that sudden contact, and took a deep breath caressing his soft hair.
“Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be all right. I know he likes you very much,” I said, trying to comfort him. He snuggled against my chest the same way the small kitten used to do when I carried him in my arms.
“The truth is I didn’t really wanted to kill you,” he whispered bitterly and I somehow understood. How could anyone ask for forgiveness for trying to kill someone? Worse, how could anyone forgive the one who’d tried to kill him?
“I got it. You wanted to set him free, right?” He simply nodded and a sneeze shook his body, making him press his wound with a pained expression. I took a deep breath and gently pushed him away. “Well, nothing to do about that,” I concluded before his innocent expression. “I’m not going to kill you and I don’t think trying to kick you out of the house would do any good anyway. So, let’s start by getting you some clothes.” He looked surprised as his eyes followed my every move, and I stood up, stretching an inviting hand. “Think you can stand?”
Lea nodded, accepting my help, and stood up, still wobbling and half bending over himself. Freed from the blanket that had covered him, I couldn’t help notice that he really was like any other Human child, which lead me look away, embarrassed. Once more I noticed his bandages stained with blood and felt angry at Gabriel for hurting him like that. I helped him up the stairs, keeping up with his much slower and smaller steps, and we still had to stop twice to allow him to catch his breath before we reached my room.
“It’s not like I have boy clothes, much less anything that will fit you,” I told him as I searched my wardrobe filled with frilly, feminine outfits. “Much less now that he threw away my stuff.” I pulled out an old cotton sweater, hidden with my other pajamas, which had survived the closet purge. I helped him put it on, as it was hard for him to raise his arms. It fit too big for his small body. “Are you sure you don’t want me to check on your injury? At least let me change those bandages.”
“No need,” he answered and took a deep breath, still weakened from climbing the stairs and putting on that sweater. I smiled and started folding up his sleeves in order to free his small hands. The notion of someone smaller than me being in the house was kind of comforting. “Is this it? Aren’t you going to get mad at me? Or be afraid? Or try to run away?” I smiled briefly and started on his other sleeve.
“What’s the use of any of that? And as for being afraid, well, I know I should, but my mind seems to be having some difficulty complying with that. Probably because, compared with him, you’re not scary at all.”
“But I tried to kill you!” he clarified as if trying to call me back to reason.
“True. And now? Do you still want to kill me?” He seemed surprised with my question and lowered his gaze.
“No, I don’t want Master to get angry with me again,” he whispered and I took a deep breath. No one who’d look at him right then would think he was any different from any other child, sad after being severely reprimanded by someone he loved.
“Then everything’s fine,” I stated. “Can I keep calling you Lea? Your other name is kind of hard to pronounce.”
He stared at me with his huge silver eyes. “You’re really strange, for a Human.”
“You think? Maybe you’re right. Sometimes I even surprise myself. So?”
“Yes, you can call me Lea,” he conceded and I smiled happily.
“Then how about it, Lea? What would you like to have for lunch? I’m sorry I’ve only been feeding you cat food all this time. You must’ve been hungry.” I spoke the same way I usually talked to my schoolmates about their weekends, and Lea gave me a bright, childish smile.
“Oh, I like cat food. Besides, Master always shares the dinner you leave for him with me, or at least he used to,” he added with a much sadder expression. “Maybe, maybe he doesn’t want me anymore,” he whispered darkly. “Maybe it was better if I had died. I had decided to die.”
“Nonsense!” I immediately contested ruffling his hair. “If he wanted you dead, then you’d be dead. I�
�m sure you know this better than I do.” His expression became brighter, filled with hope. What was I doing? Trying to cheer up that, that... My expression became serious. “Lea, are you also a demon?” I asked, assuming that was Gabriel’s true nature.
“I’m a Ruhim,” he replied and I blinked.
”A ... Ruhim?” I repeated, hoping for an explanation. He nodded slowly.
“That which you Humans call demons we call Deiwos. It’s how we call our kind. But it’s still too vague and, amongst the Deiwos there are the Shedim, the Mazzikin, the Se’irim and the Ruhim. These are the main castes. We normally don’t identify ourselves as Deiwos and the word demon, as you use it, is far from being enough to define us,” he stated in an authoritative tone. It was as if suddenly our roles were reversed and I was the child.
“Then what distinguishes you from one another?” I asked, not wanting to lose this opportunity. At least with Lea I was able to have a normal conversation and, contrary to Gabriel, he didn’t seem to mind my questions.
“I suppose it’s basically our origins. Shedim are the higher and most pure caste, created as what they are, since the beginning of times. Nowadays, the original Shedim are all gone. Those who inherited that caste’s name are the ones considered the sins of sinners. In other words, those who are born Deiwos. Mazzikin are what you’d call fallen angels. Se’irim were once corrupted Humans. And Ruhim are the immaterial ones, born from the gathering of negative Human’s thoughts and wishes.”
“Ah,” I muttered under my breath, trying quickly to archive what I was hearing. He’d just confirmed the existence of angels, right? And some demons had once been angels? Others Human Beings? “So, if you’re a Ruhim and Ruhim are immaterial ...” I left it hanging and pride took over his childish face once more.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 22
