“What do you think happened?”
It was almost like we’d practiced those lines for some kind of performance. I, too, had expected his answer and had decided to, from all the possible explanations, offer him the one that frightened me the most.
“We were attacked ... something attacked us.” I speculated. He watched me over his sunglasses, his silver eyes too serious and observant, and I knew he was trying to ascertain up to which point I’d be able to handle the truth. “One of you, a Deiwos, attacked us,” I clearly put it and was glad to hear how firm my voice had sounded.
He seemed bothered by my ability to frankly say it, which was on its own a dreadful confirmation.
“That’s right.” He confirmed it, releasing me from his evaluating gaze, and my heart jumped into a frantic run. Another one. Sure, I didn’t expect them to be the only two Deiwos walking the Earth but did they all have to cross my path?
“Why? Why did he attack?” I questioned and Lea sighed.
“Because that’s how it works. I can’t really talk about that,” he added and I couldn’t help feel frustrated for having reached his can’t-talk-about-it limit so soon. So I looked for another question.
“What did he want?”
“He came for my Master,” he whispered heavily, looking outside apprehensively, as bright lights ran outside his window. I didn’t need to see his face to know that Lea was worried about him.
“From which caste?”
“Mazzikin. But his magic was really strong.” A former angel, I thought. I still couldn’t understand. What could make an angel do something that would end up turning him into something like that?
“Did he went to kill him?”
“There’s no other way. If he didn’t, he’d follow us home,” he explained and his defensive tone didn’t go unnoticed.
“I could ask if there are more, but I’m sure there are,” I guessed and he kept silent. “Are they going to attack us, too?”
“No! No,” he reassured me, looking at me with an urgent expression, his small hands now cold, firmly holding mine. “You don’t need to worry, Mari. No one will hurt you! You’ll be safe in Lewisham.” He was trying too hard to make me believe it, and I frowned. He’d also said something like, hadn’t he? That leaving that area wasn’t safe.
“What do you mean? Why am I safe back at home?” I asked and Lea released me, averting his gaze once more.
“Master raised a barrier around the whole area of Lewisham. Nothing comes in or goes out without us knowing.”
“Barrier?” What was he talking about?
“Yes. It forms a kind of border around the areas you frequently go to and the closest areas. It couldn’t be a real barrier, because if it were, not even Human Beings would be able to cross it. So it just keeps out all ... non-Human beings. It basically serves to conceal that piece of land, making it so that other Deiwos won’t even be able to perceive its existence.” Although all that information had the clear intent to appease me, not knowing why, it only made me even more irritated.
“And since when has that barrier been there?”
“When I got here Master had already raised it. I suppose it was one of the first things he did.”
“I really … dislike that idea!” I confessed, frowning, and Lea looked up at me unable to understand.
“Why? It keeps us all safe, including your friends,” he argued and with reason, I had to admit.
Recognizing the street we were turning to, I stood up and pressed the request-stop button. Lea followed my example and we waited for the bus to come to a stop to get off.
The night silence surrounded us as soon as the bus disappeared up the road, and the cold air made me stick my hands in my pockets. My chest still hurt whenever I took a deep breath, but everything else had gone back to normal. The cold wind lashing at my face seemed to make my thoughts clearer and I knew exactly why the idea of that barrier displeased me so much. After all, it was as if, once more, he was protecting me, doing something for me, making me feel as if I owed him something in return!
As soon as I opened the front door, Lea rushed inside, rubbing his hands together and breathing on his small frozen fingers.
I didn’t waste time looking for him. I knew he still hadn’t return. The house was silent and, as usual, I couldn’t help notice the extreme difference his absence made. I could hardly believe I’d lived my whole life immersed in such a calm environment!
I went upstairs trying to silence the small and annoying voice inside my head that kept wondering if he’d be able to defeat that fallen angel, and opened the door, stopping to look back at the small boy who, as always, had silently trailed behind me.
“I need some time alone, Lea,” I told him and he stared up at me, his silver eyes, now released from the sunglasses that had hidden them all day.
“Why? Are you angry at me? Did I say something wrong?” he fretted in a single breath and I smiled for his benefit, caressing his soft, black hair.
“No. Nothing like that. I just need some time to think ... to put my thoughts in order, to go back to my own world for a few moments. I can’t ... I don’t want to get used to yours,” I told him and Lea lowered his head, looking dejected, but didn’t say anything else.
I closed the door behind me, feeling bad for his sad expression, but knowing I had done the right thing. Sometimes, more so of late, I’d find myself thinking that all the craziness around me was normal; forgetting that, not very long ago, none of those things or strange creatures had existed in my life, the life that I wished to recover. Above all I couldn’t allow myself to be dragged into other problems, straying from my own objectives.
I took a deep breath and dropped like dead on my bed.
Besides, what good would it do worrying about those kinds of things? This creature that attacked us was his problem, not mine. That barrier, too. I would put them both in the same bag, with all the possible demons that might show up from then forth with the intent to kill him.
And maybe he’d really die, I thought, and I would be free from that Contract. And the problem with Steph would simply go away.
Feeling too tired to even change, I told myself I should get some sleep. But my eyes refused to obey, my brain too agitated and alert. Annoyingly, I found my attention wandering towards the other rooms, outside, looking for a sound, anything that would tell me he was back. I severely reprimanded myself for behaving as if I were expecting his return, and turned to the other side.
Before I knew it my mind was once again deeply engrossed in conjectures and hypotheses, which annoyingly left me too anxious to sleep. Defeated, I decided to get up and occupy myself with other things. I turned the computer on and went about replying to my mother’s e-mails.
Everything was fine in Paris and she missed me beyond words. She wanted news about Gabriel and me. She insistently asked if I hadn’t forgotten to pay the bills and if the money she regularly transferred to my bank account was enough. She still didn’t know exactly when her flight back to London was for the Easter holidays, but she was anxious to see me soon. As an attachment there was a photo of her, sitting in a sunny, bright terrace of a coffee shop. Her smile was radiant and I was happy to know she was really doing OK. The name of the photo was ‘Saturday’s Breakfast’ and I downloaded it to my computer archive, where I usually kept the photos she’d started sending with every e-mail.
On a new window I described our tour day in London. I risked confessing that Gabriel knew very little of the city, not knowing exactly what kind of memories she had of a cousin that never existed to begin with. In the end it was a little like writing an essay for English Literature and I made sure to put in a little bit of everything, especially lots of fun and amazing things, to wrap it all up with a happy ending, where we’d supposedly sat somewhere nice to have something to drink. I didn’t add any photos, but shared my plans for the next day, which included going to the supermarket. I could easily compile all those e-mails and write a fiction novel about the life of a
girl that had never existed, I thought. And so, my attempt to keep my mind otherwise engaged was quickly frustrated.
The sudden change in the air made me jump from the chair. The intensity and pressure were so strong that, unwillingly, I even forgot to breathe for a split second, before darting out the door. I almost collided with Lea, standing in the corridor, as if he’d stayed there since I’d practically closed the door in his face. His silver eyes, wide open, looked up at me in a mix of surprise and fear, but I didn’t even give him the chance to speak.
“Mari! Wait!” I heard him call after me as I flew down the stairs followed by the urgent sound of his bell.
I stopped abruptly by the door, my uneven breath filling the room, and only then was able to question my poor judgment. What in hell was I doing? But there he was, standing with his back towards me, his dark, silky hair falling like black shiny water below his waist line. He slightly raised his head and, in slow movements, turned to look at me over his shoulder. His violet eyes, still glowing with that red, menacing light, made my whole body tremble, and I squeezed my hands together trying to get a grip on myself.
Lea pushed me and squeezed his body between me and the door, tripping forward and immediately freezing in place, right in front of me. I saw him look up at Gabriel and knew that even he felt unsure about how to proceed.
Gabriel took a deep breath, as if the apprehension in that child’s face had somehow alerted him to how truly menacing he looked, and when he opened his eyes again, the red glow was gone. All that was left was the cold, sad violet that immediately regained Lea’s smile and trust.
“Master! Welcome back!” he hollered, happily skipping across the room towards him. Gabriel turned to look at him and placed a pale hand over his head.
“Thank you, Lea,” he answered in a low voice and, somehow, the air around us became lighter.
“Are you hurt?” Lea went on, sounding worried, and he peered at his right shoulder. And I noticed, for the first time, the thin tears on his dark-blue shirt that, drenched in blood, stuck to his skin, covering up the wounds.
“Oh, it’s nothing. It’ll be fine in a few minutes,” he replied like it was unimportant, but Lea didn’t seem convinced, pulling him by his pants towards his usual armchair. Gabriel sighed, allowing that small hand to drag him, and sat down unbuttoning his shirt, while Lea perched himself on top of his legs. His perfect face winced in pain, which seemed to catch him by surprise, and his violet eyes stared down at his own hand, which had deep red marks, even visible from where I stood.
“Are those burns?” Lea inquired, his tone sounding even more worried, and he went back to unbuttoning buttons.
“It’s nothing,” he reassured him, but Lea held his hand on his, observing his burnt skin with a painful expression.
“They’re so deep.”
“They’ll be fine by tomorrow.”
“And the shoulder?”
Gabriel allowed him to pull the sleeve of his shirt downwards and his gaze fell on mine, for a brief moment, leaving me suffering from the pain of a virtual punch in the stomach.
Lea pulled the drenched fabric carefully, uncovering his bloodied skin, and I drew in a sharp breath, not knowing what had shocked me the most; the four deep gashes that cut across his otherwise perfect skin or the bright red color of his blood in contrast with his paleness. Red blood like mine, like any other Human’s blood. Somehow it bothered me, as if I had never admitted the possibility that what ran in his veins could be the same that ran in mine.
Lea sighed, finally sounding more relaxed, and he gave him a gentle smile.
“Didn’t I tell you there was no need to worry?”
The child nodded and I felt lost. No need to worry? His open wounds were still bleeding!
“Oh, there’s more here,” Lea noted, seeming committed to examining his whole body in search of more injuries, but his voice sounded unworried and light, almost amused.
“Mere scratches.”
I squeezed my hands together even harder. Those scratches, although small and superficial, were clearly visible, reminding me of what had happened that afternoon, after the world had stopped. He’d grabbed me and took me to that dark alley where my rational mind had been devoured by the horror of his proximity. Those scratches had been made by me, in my uncontrollable panic that, if not for his unmovable strength, had sent me running down the street, screaming, unaware of the danger I might have been in. And that pale hand, that beautiful, elegant hand now cruelly burnt, was the same I’d felt, cold, damp and trembling, over my lips; strangely trembling, I recalled, because, in that alley, I hadn’t been the only one shaking.
And then his violet eyes were looking at me, and I could almost swear, once more, that he’d just read my thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” his low voice echoed through the room, making me avert my gaze. Suddenly I wished I could just run away.
“It’s not like ... it was your fault,” I said, my voice almost inaudible, although I knew he could hear it perfectly. “Well, of course it’s your fault!” I immediately corrected. “It was because of you that all those things happened. But ... what I mean is, it’s not like it was your fault directly, right? You didn’t wish for any of that to happen.” I ordered myself to shut up. I had the feeling I’d been babbling, trying to explain something I hadn’t been able to explain. Worse! That I had no obligation to explain! And everyone was silent. I should thank him, I thought. After all, he’d saved my life ... again. And kept me safe on a daily basis. I clenched my teeth, now deeply angry at myself! I couldn’t allow for things like this to change the way I saw him! “If everything’s fine, I’m going to bed,” I simply announced and, before the lack of a response and with the clear feeling I’d already said too much, I turned around and almost ran upstairs, yearning for the fictitious sense of security I always had once hidden away behind my bedroom door.
Chapter Fourteen
TAN
– The Path of Lamed - The combination Gimel, Lamed, Samech.
The Vision of the Justice or Balance of the Universe. 1 –
“Unavoidably, even in the most adverse of environments, even if the earth is sterile, life will lead its course.
And, as violent as the world may be, no matter how much one wants the desert to remain sterile,
there’s nothing that can stop the small flower from blooming,
and nothing that can stop her from useless trying to reach the blue bright sky forever out of her grasp.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
N
ot surprisingly, I didn’t sleep well at all between fragmented dreams where I walked alone through London’s deserted streets, the silence so completely absolute that I couldn’t even hear my own footsteps. The feeling of utter loneliness and abandonment became painfully real, and I was reminded of a similar dream, one that had tormented me a couple of years ago, as a forewarning of my parent’s eminent divorce. However, this time around, I wasn’t searching for some fleeting shadow that always seemed to elude me. Quite the opposite. Although I didn’t run or scream, it felt like I was in fact running away from something.
When the same dream returned for the fourth consecutive time, waking me up gasping for air, damp hair glued against my sweaty forehead, I finally gave up on the whole idea of going back to sleep, and decided to get up. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and hands with cold water and sighed at my depressing image, my grayish face making me look sickly.
However, as I left the bathroom, my attention was drawn towards the stairs and, before I could realize it, I had already descended the first few steps. Ignoring my ever-present, ever-alert inner voice, and trying to be as silent as I possibly could, I went on and stopped at the base, my eyes flying towards the living room door that remained opened. For a moment I considered the possibility of no one being home except for me. The house was completely silent and nothing in the air denounced his presence. With carefully measured, silent footsteps, I went to the door and peered inside.
For a moment all I could see was darkness. But then, as my eyes grew more accustomed to the blackness, darker shapes started coming into existence, among which was a pale, almost luminescent figure that practically made me run back to safety. It took all my strength to rationally think about what I saw. He wasn’t sitting in his usual place, but lying on the sofa, his back turned towards the wall. His dark hair, still long, fell down over his pale shoulder, sliding down over the couch towards the floor. He was bare-chested and somehow seemed too thin, even frail; his long arms folded, his elegant long hands abandoned near his perfect face. Lea, in the shape of a small cat, was curled into a black fur ball against his chest. Gabriel slept.
That strange image before me was so far from the domineering force and unmovable strength I’d felt the few times he’d held him that I had to blink, making sure I wasn’t dreaming or even hallucinating. Like he’d assured Lea, his shoulder was completely healed and I found myself relieved to know that.
I couldn’t help stare at his perfect face, his expression now soft and calm. Sleeping like that, unmoving and free from the daunting presence of his cold, threatening gaze, he almost looked like what he pretended to be on a daily basis — just another teenage boy, the same age as the rest of us. For the first time, I could easily associate him with the name Gabriel, which always sounded so fake, like a bad lie. Somehow, looking at him like this made me feel like I was standing before someone very lonely, like he could be some lost boy, which didn’t make any sense! Not knowing why, I could easily picture him sleeping just like that, alone, somewhere far away, surrounded by cold, unfeeling darkness, year after year. Recklessly, I wished I could enter that room and touch his white face, or even his long, dark hair, just to show him that he wasn’t alone, and that he wasn’t in that dark place anymore, as if that could melt his cruel frozen heart, if only just a little.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 32
