“And what if you had to choose?” he asked, his velvet voice sounding muffled, and I was instantly frozen in place.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t asked myself that same question, certain that he would end up asking it, but until that point, I was yet to reach an acceptable answer.
“That is impossible for me,” I confessed openly.
“Because I’m not Human?
I thought about it for a moment. I couldn’t deny the weight that that had, and how much the differences between us pulled us apart. But I still wasn’t sure it would be any easier to choose if he were just another one of my schoolmates.
“I don’t know,” I said. He raised his head, making me release him from my touch, and I was dazed, for a moment, lost in the perfection of his face. “Are you angry? Annoyed? Sad?”
“Happy ... because you’re here.”
I smiled at his answer, and touched his face, sliding my fingers over his soft, cold skin. He closed his eyes, like I’d seen him do to feel the rain, and I traced the perfect lines of his face, as if I were the one molding that perfect statue. The complete absence of any imperfections made his skin totally inhuman and, if it weren’t for the electrical sensation that tingled in my fingers, I could have sworn that there was no life in him.
I drew his ears, lost in their anatomical perfection, and traced the thin cords that were the muscles of his neck, detecting a light slow, beating rhythm from far away.
“Your skin ... is so strange,” I murmured, noticing that the texture was always the same, and Gabriel smiled, opening his eyes to look at me.
“Strange is the feeling of your touch.”
I pulled my hands away, immediately, suddenly aware of what I’d just done, and he laughed.
“It’s only because I’ve been curious about it for a long time now!” I claimed in my defense, flustered. “I didn’t mean anything special!”
“But it was special ... for me. I don’t remember anyone ever touching me, unless they were trying to destroy me.” I faced him seriously, knowing that he was referring to the other Deiwos, and he smiled again. “Ah, except Lea, of course.”
“And other Humans?” I asked and immediately condemned the true source of that question, hurriedly trying to disguise it. “I mean, everyone at school, they didn’t have any problems being close to you, unlike me, that can’t stop shaking.”
“Mostly coerced cold and distant touches that want more than they’re willing to give. Yes, I’ve had plenty of those,” he said. “But, when left on their own, Humans tend to avoid me, just as much as I avoid them. They’re too frail and complicated.”
I stood silent, avoiding saying anything for fear that I’d end up saying what I didn’t want to say.
“Before Lea came to me, there were times when I spent my days in the Human world. I was young and searching for something that could fill the emptiness inside me, something that would be a challenge, since everyone seemed to fear me and, for that reason, avoid me. At least Humans, when properly influenced, can even treat me as their equal. And here no one knew who I was, and I could easily play with their stupidity and innocence. Two words and a smile were enough to make them forget their own primal instincts, and they would walk and talk with me, completely oblivious of my true nature. I even ended up spending a couple of Human lives here, helping ones and harming others, as if the world were no more than a huge doll house. And, obviously, I had many lovers, whom I freely manipulated according to my desires, using them as pawns in my games. However, none of the ones I allowed to touch me lasted for long.”
Once more I felt him looking for a reaction from me, as if what he’d just told me was just another test to my persistency.
“Although to them such actions could be seen as expressions of affection, I always felt like if something, somehow inferior to me, had just touched me,” he explained. “And the way they always lost themselves in my arms, always wanting more, unable to think, trying to find new ways to seduce me, it made me want to kill them, certain that afterwards I’d be able to enjoy some blessed quiet moments.”
I stood silent, my heart beating hard against my chest, and raised one hand to touch the lips that so coldly had spoken those words. The warmth from his breath touched my fingertips, contrasting with the cold of his skin. I still remembered the feeling of the gentle kiss he’d given me the night before and, even after hearing what he’d just said, I still couldn’t help wanting to feel it again.
However, the words I’d been restraining since before were still persistently tumbling around my brain, and I hated myself even more for not being able to contain them.
“But not Steph,” I muttered and he seemed surprised for an instant, pulling away from my touch.
“You shouldn’t say things like that, Mariane. Not when I’m trying this hard to behave,” he grunted, but I wasn’t up to letting him escape my question, since I’d had been shameless enough to bring it up in the first place.
“She was different,” I insisted and Gabriel sighed.
“Of course she was. She was important to you.”
“Is that all?” I pressed on and he seemed amused.
“That’s all. In truth I never even raised a single finger to touch her. And besides, if she was an important existence to me, I wouldn’t be here with you.” My heart responded automatically to his words.
“Because I’m important to you,” I tried, looking for a confirmation, and his expression became almost grave.
“Yes.”
Inexplicably, his soft whisper brought pain to my chest, even though he’d just said what I’d been wanting to hear, and I found myself unable to believe his words.
“Prove it,” I demanded and was immediately silent. Those words, those were the same words Michael had said to me, what he had asked of me. Something, anything more concrete than mere beautiful words. Something that I’d been unable to give him.
I was pulled to a side by my blouse, which startled me and dragged me away from my bleak thoughts, and I lost my balance, ending up sitting on his leg. The cold fingers that touched my face made me jump, since I hadn’t realized how close we were. And I blinked, still trying to make sense of what had just happened.
“What did I just tell you? About the things you shouldn’t say?” he asked in a deep voice that left me completely dazed, and his crooked smile made me immediately alert. Yet I wasn’t fast enough to resist him when he pulled me again by the fabric of my blouse, making me fall backwards.
I lost my breath somewhere before hitting the soft quilt of my bed and watched in panic when he leaned over me. My hands flexed nervously and all my trembling muscles became stiff.
Gabriel smiled again, this time that amused smile of his that so many times had annoyed me in the past, and placed an elbow right beside my shoulder, resting his head on his hand, to look at me.
“So? What kind of proof are we requiring?” he asked me jokingly, and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. My legs were still hanging over his and, although he didn’t touch me otherwise, I still couldn’t move a single strand of hair. “Mariane, are you afraid of me?”
I don’t know if it was the power of my name in his voice, or the implications of that question. But somehow I was able to break through the cold fear that blocked my mind and relax a bit.
I raised a hand that wouldn’t stop shaking, almost thankful that that was my normal state when he was this close to me. The nervousness burning my stomach would have made me shiver anyway, which would have been even more embarrassing.
I touched his face as he watched me completely motionless and smiled. And then, as if my touch had the power to bring statues back to life, I saw him move slowly, leaning over me, until his lips touched my forehead. I lost my breath at the soft electric touch of his skin and heard him sigh.
“This is torture,” he muttered, but instead of pulling away, his lips slid down my face, caressing my skin, kissing me softly, making me gasp for air at each new touch.
The tips of hi
s cold fingers slid trembling over my neck and the notion that he could probably feel the thunder that was my heartbeat made me even more nervous. As if he’d read my thoughts, I heard him chuckle, and his lips touched my skin right below the curve of my chin.
I shuddered as he kissed me and my heart jumped when his kiss became more intense, unlike the other feather-like kisses he’d given me where he barely touched me. His mouth was opening and closing over my throat, his teeth occasionally scraping my skin, and my body caught on fire, as I dug my hands in his hair to keep him close. I opened my mouth, searching for words that my mind refused to give and my gasping breath became embarrassingly audible.
“Nyx,” I murmured, trying not to be swallowed by his intensity, and his cold fingers traced my clavicle, making me tingle at the contrast of his icy cold skin and his molting hot breath.
Gabriel raised his head to look at me, releasing me form his incandescent kiss, and I was lost in the feverish glow of his eyes. His fingers slid down my chest, making the small buttons open at his passage, and stopped as he found the band of my bra, softly caressing the skin there, leaving me breathless. It was only when his cold hand slid under my blouse that I was finally able to react, and with a trembling hand I held his with all my strength, making it stop.
I realized his feverish gaze was gone and his lips were softly kissing my bare chest. I pushed him away by one of his shoulders, even though I knew would never be strong to do it, and the embarrassing moan that escaped my lips made me bite my tongue. His kiss was piercing me, as if he could really touch my heart, or even kiss my Soul. And my antagonist hand lost its strength and determination, freeing his and allowing his fingers to resume tracing lines of ice over my scalding skin.
I felt completely lost, certainly unable to resist him, and, although I did long for his touch, the pain inside me made me sob. I knew I would be his right then, if he so wished, and I would be his of my own free will. And yet, fear coursed through my veins every time I wondered what would happen next, when he looked back at me and finally understood that, in the end, I was just as uninteresting as any other Human he’d met. Maybe he’d kill me then, and death didn’t sound all that bad. But, if he were to simply leave me behind, like how he’d done with Steph ...
Despair took over me and, since I couldn’t push him away, I threw my arms around him and held him with all my strength.
“Nyx! Stop. Please stop!” I sobbed, trying to coordinate my gasped breathing with words, and, at the sudden forced contact of my embrace, he pulled away immediately, supporting his weight on his hands; and I was sure he would be standing on the far side of my room if I had let go of his neck.
We were silent, for a moment, my lonely sobs echoing all around us, and still I wouldn’t let go, knowing that if I did he’d go somewhere far from where I was just so that I could calm down.
Finally his lips touched my cheek in a light kiss, which unexpectedly made me relax and, when I opened my eyes, his worried expression surprised me so much I even forgot to sob. He smiled, seeing I’d regained my self-control and I couldn’t help blush.
“I’m sorry, it was never my int ...” I placed a hand over his lips, silencing those words, and looked harshly at him.
“Don’t be! I don’t want anyone feeling sorry for anything!” I told him and he kissed my fingers, making me recoil my hand instinctively.
Gabriel laughed at my embarrassment and took a deep breath.
“Really, I amaze myself ... with this my new found ability to resist you, even when I want you this much,” he declared and I caressed his skin only for the pleasure of feeling its strange, fresh texture under my hands. “I guess that I really don’t want you to cry or suffer because of me, after all. I just wish time could stop. But since I know it can’t be done, I wonder, how long will I be allowed to stay by your side? And, if I do stay by your side, how long will you be able to bear my presence, knowing I’m straying you away from your destined path?”
“It’s the same. I also wonder how long you will find me ... interesting,” I confessed, using the word he so much appreciated. “I’m sure that there are many other Gaalgha around, many much more attractive than I am. I ask myself what right do I have to keep you here, when staying puts you in danger. Besides, time will pass for me, and I will grow old, but you, you will always be like this, inhumanely beautiful.”
“Even if you die, I will never allow you to leave! And if you do return to this world, I will look for you everywhere, until I find you!” He spoke with such conviction that I couldn’t help laughing. It sounded like one of those promises that children make when they still believe effort and willpower will solve everything.
I rose on my elbows and kissed him. I hadn’t planned to do it, and I didn’t think about it at the moment, but the statue that he immediately became made me uncomfortably aware of my actions.
“I was about to say I’m sorry, but since I was just angry with you for saying it ...” I mumbled, averting my gaze, too aware of how awkward it all was and wishing I could hide in some deep hole.
“Do it again.” I looked at him in disbelief and was mesmerized by the intensity of his gaze. I had been sure he’d just rejected me, and yet ... “Kiss me, Mariane.”
His warm breath caressed my face with each word and I didn’t know how to refuse him, even if I wanted to. I pressed my lips against his in a soft and painfully innocent kiss that wasn’t more than a touch of lips against lips, but that still made me blush up to my ears.
I pulled back, still apprehensive, and saw him opening his eyes, as he’d just woken from a dream, and waited expectantly for his reaction. His soft laughter was disturbing, and embarrassing, and I felt my temperature rise.
“You kiss like a child,” he told me, critically, and I buried my face in the quilt, refusing to keep looking at him.
“You were the one who asked me to kiss you!” I grunted and he laughed again.
“Yes. And I must confess you didn’t disappoint me one bit. It was exactly what I’d expected from you,” he went on and I gave him an angry look.
“Well, I’m so sorry for my lack of experience! But at least I’m not afraid to touch you, unlike someone I know! And I’m sure you could feel my kiss, unlike the one you gave me yesterday,” I retorted and his smile became colder.
“True, I’m afraid to touch you, because your body is too frail. But that’s not why I won’t kiss you.” I waited for him to explain and Gabriel sighed. “If I really kiss you, you’ll probably get addicted to me. And I will never be able to resist you if you throw yourself at me.”
It was my turn to laugh. Of course, I still remembered what he’d said about that. But really! Didn’t he notice just how ridiculous it sounded when he said it like that?
“Addicted to you?” I repeated, still laughing and took a deep breath.
“I really like hearing you laugh like that near me,” he said with a delighted smile. “When I hear you laugh like that, I’m certain that you’re not pretending and that those tremors really don’t correspond to your feelings.”
“So silly,” I grumbled. How he could still be hanging on those kinds of insecurity, after all we’d said and done, baffled me. “Just kiss me, Nyx,” I asked, just like he’d done, but he didn’t comply, looking at me with a serious expression, ending up sighing.
“Mari, didn’t you hear anything I said?” he asked me with a patient tone and I nodded. “And?”
“If I do get addicted to you, you have my permission to do as you please with me,” I allowed, as if I were signing a term of responsibility, and he frowned.
“But it won’t be you! It will be the same as controlling your feelings!” he complained almost childishly and I couldn’t help smile, happily surprised.
“Oh, I see. I didn’t know that that was important to you,” I confessed and he looked even angrier. “Ok, then, you can tie me up and leave me here until I break out of my hangover.”
“You never take anything seriously.”
�
��Yes I do. In fact, I’m taking this really seriously.”
“All for one kiss?”
“Your kiss,” I added and blushed again as his eyes seemed to glow.
Gabriel leaned over me and I shivered when his breath touched my skin.
“I promise I’ll tie you up,” he whispered, his lips caressing mine with each word, and he kissed me softly, just like he’d done before.
I tried not to lose myself on the electric feeling of his skin, and tangled my fingers in his hair, looking for a more real contact. I felt as he hesitated for an instant, almost as if my initiative had caught him off guard, but when I thought he was going to pull away again, his mouth took over mine with such intensity that it sent my heart into a frenzy.
His lips dragged mine, which didn’t know how to keep up with him. I felt as his mouth repeatedly invaded mine as if it were a territory he’d decided to conquer. I was completely breathless at the slow but intense rhythm with which he repeatedly united us and felt dizzy, almost about to faint.
When he lazily pulled, almost as if he didn’t want to do it, I had to fight ferociously against the impulse of using the hand that still caressed his hair to just keep him there, or better yet, to just pull him back to me.
I looked up at him, still gasping for air, certain that he was watching me carefully, and reluctantly released him from my touch, smiling as I noticed that his pale lips had finally gained some color.
“It would seem I’m immune to you,” I bragged, and he pulled back a bit more, taking a deep breath.
“I’m not,” he declared, surprising me, but, before I could question him, the door of my room was suddenly opened, making me jump at the sound of a small bell.
I sat up, still dizzy, blushing even deeper, and noticed that he was staring at us with a frighteningly serious expression.
“Lea,” I started, but he ignored me and marched straight to Gabriel.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 63
