Fly Me to the Morgue

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Fly Me to the Morgue Page 10

by Robert J. Randisi


  ‘Do you have any more relatives we have to worry about?’ I asked.

  ‘Actually, I have quite a large family,’ she said, ‘but Philip is the only one to worry about. I have a younger brother and sister, but they’re not the least bit interested in horses.’

  ‘Is your sister anything like you?’ I asked.

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I mean beautiful.’

  ‘Oh.’ She surprised me with a slight blush. I had thought she was being playful, but apparently she actually didn’t know what I’d meant.

  ‘Well, she’s younger than I am and, yes, quite pretty,’ she said. ‘But she’s not here today.’

  We reached the house and entered through the unlocked front door. I hadn’t heard a vehicle leave, and half expected to find big Philip somewhere inside, but it seemed empty.

  ‘Lemonade?’ she asked.

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘And your friends?’

  ‘I think that’ll be good for everyone.’

  ‘I’ll go and get it,’ she said. ‘Make yourself comfortable.’

  I walked around the big living room, which was dominated by a baby grand piano that was covered with framed photos. I walked over to take a look. Most of them seemed to be of a man I assumed was Chris Arnold, standing surrounded by horses. I didn’t see any photos of Adrienne until I got to the fireplace mantle.

  ‘Oh no,’ she said, as she came in carrying a tray, ‘not the family photos.’

  ‘Do you play the piano?’ I asked.

  ‘I’m afraid not,’ she said. ‘This is actually my brother Chris’s house. That is, it was. We haven’t read his will yet, so I don’t know what will happen to it.’

  ‘What do you think will happen to it?’ I asked.

  ‘Well,’ she said, setting the tray down on the coffee table, ‘I know my brother Philip wants the place. But I think he’s going to be disappointed.’

  ‘You think Chris left it to you?’

  ‘Either that, or equal parts to the four of us, but I don’t think he’d want to do that to the rest of. Make us partners with Philip, I mean.’

  ‘Philip seemed to think he had an interest in the horse,’ I said. ‘What’s the horse’s name, by the way. Bing didn’t mention it.’

  ‘My brother didn’t usually name the horses,’ she said. ‘He left that to the people who bought them.’

  ‘He didn’t race horses himself?’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘he likes – liked – to breed them, but he didn’t have the actual racing gene in him.’

  ‘Is that why Philip would want to keep the horse?’ I asked. ‘To race him?’

  ‘I really think the reason Philip doesn’t want the horse sold is that I do.’

  ‘So, it’s like that?’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ she said. ‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’

  ‘One of each,’ I said. ‘We don’t speak much.’

  ‘It must be easier that way.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘And your parents?’

  ‘My mother died recently,’ I said. ‘My father and I don’t talk. My family still lives in Brooklyn.’

  ‘Brooklyn,’ she said. ‘That’s it. I’ve been trying to pinpoint your accent.’

  ‘Is it bad?’ I put my hand over my mouth, as if she had told me I had bad breath.

  ‘No, it’s hardly noticeable, except sometimes you drop your ‘g’s’, and pronounce a word or two in an . . . odd way.’

  ‘Where are you from?’

  ‘Here,’ she said. ‘Nevada. My parents are dead. Have been for a long time. I actually raised my younger brother and sister. I’m glad my parents didn’t live to see what an ass Philip has become.’

  At that point Bing and Jerry came walking in.

  ‘There’s a bathroom right through there, if you want to wash up,’ she said, pointing.

  ‘Thank you,’ Bing said. He and Jerry went through. Adrienne poured two lemonades and handed me one, then poured two more and left them on the tray for Jerry and Bing.

  ‘So,’ she said, ‘you work in a Vegas casino. Must be a lot of women in your life.’

  THIRTY-TWO

  ‘There are a lot of women in Vegas,’ I said, ‘but no one special, right now. You?’

  ‘Unattached, at the moment,’ she said. ‘Keeping my brothers from killing each other is a full-time job.’ Then she put her hand over her mouth as she realized what she’d said.

  ‘Oh God,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean—’

  ‘It’s OK,’ I said.

  Bing came walking into the room at that moment, then stopped short, as if he thought he was interrupting something.

  ‘Come on in, Bing,’ I said. ‘The lemonade is very refreshing.’ I pointed to the two glasses sweating on the tray.

  ‘Jerry’ll be along in a minute,’ he said, snatching up one of the glasses.

  ‘Mr Crosby,’ she asked, ‘what did you think of the horse?’

  ‘Please,’ he said, ‘call me Bing. Jerry thinks the horse is very sound, and well formed.’

  ‘Well then, could we go to the study and talk . . . money? Or do you want your . . . trainer involved in that part?’

  ‘No,’ he said, ‘I can handle that myself. Gents?’

  ‘Go ahead,’ I said to Bing. ‘If it’s all right with the lady we’ll wait here.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Make yourselves comfortable. If you want something stronger than lemonade there’s a bar against that wall.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said.

  ‘Bing?’

  They each carried a glass of lemonade out of the room with them.

  ‘You want a drink?’ I asked Jerry.

  ‘No thanks, Mr G.’

  I decided to stick with lemonade.

  ‘What do you really think of the horse?’ I asked.

  ‘Well, he’s a half to Crazy Kid—’

  ‘A half?’

  ‘Half brother,’ he said. ‘And he’s put together well. I think it’s a good buy.’

  ‘For two hundred thousand?’

  Jerry hesitated before he answered, then said, ‘That depends.’

  ‘On what?’

  ‘First, does she have the right to sell it, or will he have to deal with that brother,’ Jerry said, ‘and second, the paperwork has to work out.’

  ‘You mean, is he really a half to Crazy Kid?’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Won’t Bing need you for that?’

  ‘I know a good horse when I see one, Mr G.,’ Jerry said, ‘but I don’t know squat about papers. Mr C. is on his own there.’

  ‘Well,’ I said, ‘it’s his money, and he’s bought horses before. And he has other trainers, right?’

  ‘I suppose so,’ Jerry said.

  ‘Well, it didn’t seem like he knew this one very well.’

  ‘I think the trainer came to him with this deal,’ Jerry said. ‘Maybe they never had a horse together before.’

  ‘You could be right.’

  Surprisingly, Bing and Adrienne came back into the room. Seems they didn’t need all that much time to hash out a price.

  ‘I’ll give you a call, Adrienne, probably in a day or two.’

  ‘I’ll be waiting to hear,’ she said. They shook hands.

  ‘I’m curious about something, Adrienne, if I may?’ I said.

  ‘By all means.’

  ‘Are there any other buyers interested in this horse?’

  ‘Not at the moment,’ she said. ‘If Mr Crosby doesn’t buy it, though, I’m sure there will be.’

  I nodded.

  ‘Anything else?’ she asked.

  ‘Nope,’ I said. ‘I’m done.’

  ‘I’ll be in touch, Adrienne,’ Bing said.

  She walked us out to our car and stood there watching as we drove off, with her hands on her hips.

  ‘What do you think?’ I asked Bing.

  ‘I’m worried about the brother,’ he said. ‘She says he has no claim on the horse.’

  ‘I t
hink he’s probably a sore loser,’ I said.

  ‘He’s a muscle-head,’ Jerry said. ‘Don’t worry about him.’

  ‘I wouldn’t,’ Bing said, ‘as long as you’re around, Jerry.’

  THIRTY-THREE

  When we got back to the Sands we all needed to clean up. I got one of the valets to take the car to get washed. Bing and Jerry went to their suites for showers, while I had mine in the locker room.

  I’d taken most of my changes of clothes out of my locker lately without replacing them. All I had left were jeans and a t-shirt. I was going to have to go and pick up my laundry.

  I called up to Jerry’s suite to let him know what I was going to do.

  ‘Comin’ back later, Mr G?’

  ‘Oh yeah,’ I said. ‘I’ve got no life outside of this place. I’ll be back.’

  ‘You oughtta get yerself a life, Mr G.,’ he said. ‘Maybe a steady girl.’

  ‘A steady girl in Vegas, Jerry? With all these waitresses and showgirls around? No thanks.’

  I told him I’d see him later and hung up.

  My Caddy was in its parking spot, clean as a whistle, inside and out. I found the valet and tipped him extra, then drove home, stopping first to get the laundry.

  When I got home I put my laundry away, setting aside a few things to take back to the casino. Then I had a cold beer and wondered if I should go back to my pit when I got back to the casino. After all, what more was there for me to do? I’d been so busy with Bing that I hadn’t been able to fulfill my obligation to play host to Frank Junior.

  On the other hand, Kathryn had specifically asked me to watch out for her husband. To that end I figured I should remain available to him until he decided to leave town.

  But what about Jerry? He’d done what Bing had asked him to do, take a look at the horse. If we sent him home would the police end up looking for him and having him brought back? Were we even going to hear from the Sheriff’s detectives again?

  The fact that Hargrove had chosen to involve himself in matters made me nervous. Also, his laid-back attitude when he’d spoken to us at breakfast bothered me. What was that about? I couldn’t see Hargrove, at this late date in his career, exchanging his bully boy tactics for a gentler hand.

  I thought about having another beer but decided to skip it. I could have something when I got back to the Sands.

  I left the house and started walking to my car, which was in my driveway, when I heard a voice.

  ‘Hey! Hold it!’

  I turned, saw three burly men walking across my lawn at me. The one in the front, calling out to me, looked familiar. When he got closer I could see his red face and recognized him as Adrienne Arnold’s muscle-head brother, Philip. He looked mad, and so did the two muscle-bound idiots with him.

  I know my limitations, and that day they were even more obvious. These three guys would undoubtedly bust me up if I let them get their hands on me.

  I sprinted to my Caddy, leaped over the door into the seat and got it started. They all got their hands on the car as I backed out, yelling something, but I popped it in drive and took off, hopefully leaving them behind.

  THIRTY-FOUR

  It wasn’t that easy.

  The three of them managed to get back to their car, a green sedan that apparently had something under the hood. They got behind me, but rather than chasing me, they seemed to be following. It looked like they were going to try to tail me to wherever I was going and brace me again there.

  I had other ideas.

  My neighborhood was full of small residential streets that you couldn’t very well speed through, but since I knew where they were I was able to get into them quicker. Each time I took a turn on one of those streets, I got a little more room between us.

  I finally made my way to Industrial Drive, a large multi-lane street that pretty much ran parallel to Las Vegas Blvd, referred to by some as ‘The Strip.’ Once I got on that multi-lane road I put my foot down. My plan was to come at the Sands from the back, hopefully losing my tail along the way.

  I entered the hotel from the rear, made my way down a hall to the front lobby. I went to the door and looked out, trying to see if there was a green sedan being parked.

  I moved back through the lobby to the casino, where I felt safe. But now what would I do about going home? And what did Philip Arnold have against me, anyway? It was Bing who was buying the horse, and Jerry who had embarrassed him. All I’d done was get knocked on my ass by the muscle-head. Why was he coming after me?

  I briefly went by my pit to see how my replacement was doing, and saw that I wasn’t being missed there.

  I went into the bar for a beer and got the bartender to bring me a house phone.

  ‘What are you doin’?’ I asked Jerry when he answered.

  ‘Watchin’ TV.’

  ‘You order room service?’

  ‘I was thinkin’. Why, are you back?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m in the bar.’

  ‘You wanna go someplace to eat?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Come on down. I’ll take you for a good burger.’

  ‘And fries?’

  ‘And fries.’

  ‘I’ll be down in a few minutes.’

  ‘I’ll be in the Silver Queen bar.’

  I hung up, picked up my beer and saw my worst nightmare come through the door: Philip Arnold and his muscle boys.

  I had no place to go, so I sat tight as they approached. At least there were a few people in the lounge at that time of the day, and the bartender.

  ‘Thought you got away from me, didn’t you?’ Philip Arnold said, accusingly.

  ‘I hoped.’

  ‘You must think I’m stupid,’ Arnold said. ‘Think I don’t know where you work?’

  ‘Mr Arnold,’ I said, ‘I have no idea how smart or dumb you really are. All I can say is, maybe you aren’t as dumb as I thought.’

  ‘Watch your mouth,’ Arnold said. ‘You don’t have your big friend here with you, this time.’

  No, I thought, but if I could stall long enough . . .

  ‘What do you want, Mr Arnold?’ I asked. ‘What’s so important you had to come to my home, and my place of business?’

  ‘Maybe I just wanted to finish what we started.’

  ‘What did we start?’ I asked. ‘You knocked me on my ass. That didn’t satisfy you?’

  ‘You tried to get in my way,’ Arnold said. ‘If you know what’s good for you, you’ll convince your Hollywood friend, Bing Crosby, to back off.’

  ‘Why should he?’

  ‘That horse is not for sale.’

  ‘That’s not what your sister says.’

  ‘Look,’ Arnold said, ‘I ain’t gonna tell you again.’

  ‘You gonna beat me up in front of all these people?’ I asked.

  ‘We’ll do that,’ one of his friends said, ‘and wreck this place at the same time.’

  The three of them stared at me with the same vacant eyes. I had the feeling that inside all their heads they were dismembering me.

  ‘Is there a problem here?’

  The three men parted so they could see who was speaking behind them. Standing there were Dean Martin and Mack Grey. Dino had an easy going look on his face, while Mack was frowning. Both of them were ex-boxers, and Mack was almost as big as Jerry. Suddenly, my odds had more than evened up.

  Arnold and his boys were trying to figure the odds when Jerry walked in and that was it, the odds swung firmly to my side.

  ‘Hey, Mr G.,’ Jerry said. ‘This a party?’

  ‘You were saying?’ I said to Philip Arnold.

  All he had left were the same words he’d used out in the Red Rock Canyon.

  ‘This ain’t over.’

  As he turned to leave Jerry got right in front of him, chest bumped him.

  ‘It better be over,’ he said to Arnold, ‘’cause I don’t care how many muscle-heads you got with you next time. I’ll take you apart.’

  Arnold tried to brazen it out and hold Jerry’s look,
but in the end he averted his eyes, moved around Jerry and skulked off to follow his friends who had gotten out of there quick.

  ‘What did we just walk into, Eddie?’ Dino asked.

  ‘You guys just saved somebody from a beatin’,’ I said, ‘and I think it was me.’

  ‘No chance, Mr G.,’ Jerry said. ‘You woulda held your own til I got here.’

  ‘Come on, guys,’ Dean said, ‘what’s goin’ on?’

  ‘Mr G.’s takin’ me for the best burger in town,’ Jerry said to Dino and Mack. ‘You guys wanna come along?’

  ‘I could use a big burger,’ Mack said to Dean.

  ‘Sure, why not?’ Dean said. ‘I got a limo. Let’s do it.’

  THIRTY-FIVE

  My favorite burger place was way the hell out at a far end of Industrial Drive. I’d been there a lot, and taken many friends and girls there, but this was the first time I ever drove up in a limo with a Hollywood and Vegas legend.

  The place was a little clapboard shack – the Burger Shack – that looked like it would blow away in a stiff wind. Getting out of the limo, though, the smell of meat and onions made my mouth water.

  ‘Man, that smells good,’ Jerry said.

  There were picnic tables set up outside, and one was open. There was a line at the window, so I suggested Dean and Mack grab the table, and Jerry and I would grab the food. I also thought that Dean Martin standing in the line might attract attention. Maybe sitting at the table he’d be able to keep a low profile.

  Jerry and I got on the back of the line. Our plan was to carry as many burgers and fries back to the table as we could.

  When we got to the window and Jerry saw that they also had hot dogs he got himself two burgers and two hot dogs. And an order of fries. I got one burger and an order of fries for each of the rest of us, and piled some condiments on the tray. We managed to carry it all back to the table, and then Jerry went back for four beers.

  ‘Thanks, pally,’ Dean said, accepting a beer from Jerry.

  Mack nodded as he took his, his mouth already full of fries.

  We dressed our burgers and bit into them. They were so juicy that grease rolled down our hands.

  ‘Wow,’ Jerry said, ‘this is a good burger.’

  ‘I’ll say,’ Mack agreed.

 

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