“Very…”
“I won’t forget tonight.”
“Nor will I. Thank you for dinner.”
“Thank you. You’re an incredible young woman.”
“That’s debatable. Good night, Mr. Ross.”
“Good night, Rachel.” …
The next evening when Rachel stepped out of the revolving doors of the telephone building she wasn’t really surprised to see Jim Ross waiting for her.
“Any plans for this evening?”
Smiling, “No.”
“Dinner?”
“Lovely…”
He smiled suddenly, and so did Rachel. Starting up the engine, he drove without asking her for a preference. He’d long ago made up his mind.
Julius’s Castle sat high on a hill overlooking the city. The view was breathtaking.
When they were seated Jim watched as Rachel looked out to the bay. She was enchanted with the view, and even more so with her companion. The rain that she had been cursing only seconds before she first met Jim Ross now seemed like a blessing. How had she been so lucky? It was certainly something new. Well, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth…Suddenly her expression changed. “I almost forgot, I have to make a phone call.”
When she returned Jim noticed a peculiar look in her eyes.
“What’s wrong, Rachel?”
She tried to hold back the tears. Biting the corner of her lip, she sat for a moment, trying to gain her composure. Finally she answered, “What’s wrong is my mother…”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Not especially, but I will. My mother can’t quite cope with the fact that I’m a big girl.”
“I suppose mothers are like that, Rachel…a little protective. And in your case, I can certainly understand it.”
“Can you really, Mr. Ross? Well, my mother’s not exactly protective. Domineering is more like it. She’s not your everyday run-of-the-mill mother…”
“Aren’t you judging her a little too harshly?”
Mother Teresa had asked the same question. “I don’t think so. It would take a year to explain her, so I’m not going to try. Besides, I don’t want to spoil our evening.”
“It’s a deal…Now, what’s your pleasure?”
“Just being here.”
As Jim ordered their meal, she watched him closely and wondered how it could be that she hadn’t noticed before what an extraordinarily handsome man he was. Maybe she’d just not given him too much thought…because of his age? Last night she was, frankly, mostly aware of the blue Cadillac, the feel of the fine leather upholstery, Solari’s, the ride home, his kindness…But as they ate in the dim candlelight, she couldn’t help noticing his soft brown eyes and the thick chestnut hair, the healthy glow of a tan and his deep, gentle voice.
Over coffee he said, “I didn’t sleep last night, Rachel.”
She knew why but asked, “Do you have a difficult time sleeping?”
“Not usually…”
“Then what kept you awake?” Oh, God, how coy, she scolded herself.
“You.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I’m not. You’re the loveliest reason to stay awake.”
She smiled. “That’s probably the nicest thing anyone ever said about me.”
“I can’t imagine anyone not saying the nicest things about you.”
“Really, Mr. Ross? Well, I guess, like they say, it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.”
“Certainly in the eyes of this one…I’m going to tell you something very strange, Rachel. When I got home I began to think about my life. I took a long hard look and after weighing all the pros and cons, I came to the conclusion that I owe myself something.”
“What’s that, Mr. Ross?”
“Some happiness, damn it. I’m forty-two, Rachel, and I’d say I’ve got some catching up to do.” He took a long sip of coffee, and, as though he’d thought about it quite carefully, said, “Rachel, I’d like to ask you to marry me.”
Good God, this quickly…? And yet it was exactly what she wanted to hear.
“Does that shock you?”
“Yes, especially since you told me you wouldn’t get a divorce until your daughter was of age.”
“I said it and meant it, but meeting you changed that. Besides, Maureen’s almost eighteen now. Next year she’ll be going to Paris to study at the Sorbonne.”
How different from her father, who felt that college was a waste of money for girls…
“Rachel, I love you. But if you need time to think about it…”
She didn’t really, and yet she was overwhelmed with how quickly they had come to this point. “Do people fall in love like this?”
“People fall in love in all sorts of ways, but you didn’t answer me.”
“The answer is—yes.”
He took her hand in his, feeling its softness and warmth. “I don’t ask the same from you, Rachel. Love is something that I know might take a little longer for you.”
“I’m not so sure, Mr.—”
“Jim, for God’s sake. I’m not quite that ancient.”
They laughed.
Rachel hesitated, then, “I’m Jewish, you know.”
“I stopped thinking about religion a long time ago. I don’t know what I am.”
“Well, so far as my religion is concerned, I do. In fact, I’d never thought of marrying anyone who wasn’t Jewish.”
“Does that really make a difference? I’ll convert if it will make you happy.”
“No…I wouldn’t think of it, it wouldn’t be right—”
“But I would, if you wanted me to—”
“No, you can’t become Jewish because someone wants you to. But…well, my children would have to be raised as Jews…”
“Rachel, my dearest Rachel, whatever makes you happy is fine with me.”
She shook her head. “Imagine, just because it rained…I think I’m always going to love the rain.”
“No question, it’s our element…Rachel, I’d like to meet your parents—”
“Not yet…”
“Why? Will you have a problem with them?”
“I’m sure. But first, what about your divorce?”
“I’m going to tell Maureen and her mother immediately.”
“How do you think your daughter will react to all this?”
“I’m going to tell her as gently as I know how that people fall out of—and in—love all the time. She’s old enough to understand.”
“And if she does…but doesn’t in your case?”
“She will, I know Maureen. I’m going to move out and take a suite at the Fairmont. This has changed everything for me—”
“And for me—”
They looked at each other. “It’s incredible,” he said. “I’d forgotten all about feeling like this.”
“And I never knew it was possible.” She looked almost fierce as she added, “Jim, I’m going to make you a very happy man.”
“You already have, my darling.”
When he stopped the car in the same place as the night before, he turned off the ignition, took Rachel in his arms and kissed her. The kiss didn’t really arouse her passion—only Sandy had done that—but this was tender, almost reverent and quite wonderful in its special way. Better, in fact, than all the frustrations of the heated passion she’d felt for Sandy and been denied. She was convinced this was the best kind of love—uncomplicated. Anyway, in time she might grow to love him as much as he loved her. Until then, affection would be enough, and she would be a good and devoted wife. She’d promised him, she meant it…
After helping her out of the car, he held her close to him and she clung to him the way she had never been able to cling to her father.
“I love you, Rachel.”
She answered him with a kiss.
“Goodnight, darling.”
Rachel smiled. “Goodnight.”
As she began to walk away he called out, “I forgot something.”
Opening the trunk of his car, he handed her a large box from I. Magnin.
“Oh, Jim, thank you, but you didn’t have to, you know—”
“I don’t know anything except I love you.”
For the first time in years, Jim spoke to Kelly alone. “You’ll be pleased to know I want a divorce.”
Kelly tilted her head sideways and raised her eyebrows. She knew it would have been impossible for someone as virile and attractive as Jim Ross not to have slept with women, but he was too discreet to ever be openly involved with anyone. They had maintained their image as the ideal couple, and he wouldn’t want Maureen to hear about dear daddy sharing another lady’s bed. Or, more to the point, mummy sharing another lady’s bed…too shameful. Why else had he put up with her? But darling James must have finally met the woman of his dreams. Well, it certainly was a long time coming, but better late than never. What a penance this had been…Finally she said, “Well, my goodness, will wonders never cease. So you got tired of celibacy?”
He ignored her. “I want you to get the divorce.”
Wasn’t that noble. Thanks to Maureen, he was doing it all so proper…so decently. “All right, Jim. Do you have a preference of attorneys?”
Without looking at her he answered, “Go to whomever you want.”
“What about Maureen? Have you talked to her yet?”
“If I had, wouldn’t she have told you? Don’t play games with me.”
“How do you think she’s going to take it, after having such a devoted mommy and daddy?”
“Don’t you worry about her. She had the kind of stability I wanted for her.”
“I know, Jim. It took a great deal of sacrifice on your part.”
“Get ready to go to Reno.”
Well, Mr. James Ross, Jr. was in one considerable hurry. But he was going to pay for the years he’d made her suffer. “I’m not going to Reno.”
The muscles in his jaw knotted like twisted rope. “You don’t have much choice.”
“I think you’re wrong. If I were to tell Maureen what caused the breach between us, she’d be quite shocked, I imagine. I wonder how her stability would hold up then.” She’d never do that to her daughter, but it was like honey from the comb to see the look on his face.
“You perverted bitch. You’d destroy her, wouldn’t you. You’re just that ruthless.”
“Well, it would surely turn her against me, and wouldn’t that give you a lot of satisfaction?”
“I didn’t know quite how rotten you really are.”
She laughed to herself. All he had to do was call her bluff and she would have taken the night train to Reno. “Well, at least now you know all about me. A year’s not too bad, James. It passes faster than you can imagine. Seems like yesterday you moved down the hall.”
He slammed the door and went to pack his things…
Jim held Rachel’s hand as he told her they’d have to wait a year, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her the reasons. He felt miserable that his hands were tied, but he couldn’t allow Maureen to find out what Kelly really was.
Rachel was more disappointed than she wanted to show. She could hardly wait to leave home and she honestly wanted Jim Ross and a life with him. But she knew he wasn’t having an easy time either. “I know how difficult this will be, but if there’s nothing you can do we’ll simply have to make the best of it.”
He held her close. “Oh, Rachel, I swear to you I had no idea this would happen—”
“Darling, we’ll manage it. A year isn’t that long.”
It was for him…forty-two and he wanted a child, Rachel’s child…A new beginning had been handed him and he couldn’t take it; that bitch had the ace. “Rachel darling, I’m going down to Santa Barbara to see Maureen, but of course I’ll call—”
“No, please. I still don’t want them to know about us.”
“Why?”
“Because my family are very complicated people and I know there’s going to be a real battle eventually. Please, Jim…let’s wait a bit longer.”
She missed Jim more than she had imagined possible. She tried not thinking about him, but that was impossible. If only she could have gone with him. And Jim’s thoughts ran parallel with hers. Leaving her had been difficult, but the chore that lay in front of him would be even more so…
When he saw Maureen running toward him, her lovely chestnut hair blowing in the breeze, he thought there had to be a better way than this. But now she was here, hugging him. He looked at her face—those large amber eyes, trusting…like Rachel’s, innocent yet wise. He loved them both so very much…
“Gosh, dad, I’m so glad to see you.”
He swallowed, smiled. “Me too, sweetheart.”
“I got so excited when they told me you were here…”
“Where would you like to go?”
“You devil, you’ve fixed it so I could get the day off. How about the beach?”
“I’d like that.”
“Knew you would. There’s a peachy little bistro where they have the best seafood. Sound good?”
“Sounds wonderful.”
“Lay on, Macduff.”
As they drove along the waterfront Maureen said, “Dad, how would you like to take a very close relative to Argentina on your business trip?”
Jim felt the perspiration on his forehead. “I’d love to, Maureen, but I don’t think you should take time away from school.”
“It’s okay, dad. I’m way ahead—”
“Let’s talk about this at lunch.”
“Wait…slow down, dad. It’s that place over there with the green and white awning.”
Jim had a reprieve until they’d finished their meal. When the coffee came Maureen asked, “Now, how about…”
Jim’s face became somber.
“What’s the matter, dad? Fess up…you can tell this one anything.”
“Some things aren’t that easy.”
“Give it a whirl.”
“…This is something I’d hoped I’d never have to tell you, darling, but I suppose there’s no easy way. Your mother and I have agreed to a divorce.”
Maureen sighed. “Well, I guess it was overdue.”
He looked at her, astonished. “You knew?”
“For a long time. I just kept hoping you and mom would make it up somehow. You’re both so great. Why can’t two wonderful people fit?”
“I don’t know, Maureen, but it seems best this way.”
“How’s mom taking it?”
“As sensibly as you would expect…”
“I’m really sorry, dad.”
“So am I, darling.”
“Dad, I think I should go with you on your trip to Argentina.” She thought her mother would weather the storm of divorce better than he would and that he might need some company on this trip. She waited. When there was no answer she said, “Dad, you’re a million miles away.”
“Not really, Maureen…I just don’t know how to say this right.”
“What, dad? You can tell me anything…”
He looked at her. “All right. Honey…I’ve met a lovely woman…I’m going to marry her.”
Maureen sat like a statue. That was the reason for the divorce, after all these years? Finding her voice she asked, “What’s she like?”
“She’s beautiful.”
“I mean who is she?”
“Her name is Rachel—Rachel Sanders.”
“How did you meet her, how long have you known her?”
“For several months,” he lied, “and I met her quite by accident—”
“By accident? Where?”
“She was waiting for a streetcar in the rain and I happened to be coming around the corner—”
“You met her on the street? How romantic.”
“I can’t really explain it, honey, I know it sounds pretty strange, but these things do happen, you know…”
“How old is she?”
He ran his tongue around his dry lips. “Nineteen.”
> “Nineteen! That’s practically child-molesting…” She felt sick to her stomach. “Dad, I really think you should see a psychiatrist.”
He winced and looked out to the blue ocean washing up against the sand. Rachel was not just nineteen. She was a woman, a lovely woman that he adored…“Maureen, I know this is very difficult to understand, but ages aren’t always that important between—”
“People in love?”
“Yes—”
“And you think she loves you?”
“Yes. Do you think that would be so difficult?”
“No, I can see where you would be very attractive to a…but she’s a child, dad.”
“Only chronologically.”
“I’m going to be as frank as you’ve been. You’re an older man trying to prove you’ve still got what it takes, and I think she’s taking you for everything you’ve got.”
“That’s unfair, Maureen, and, frankly, something I didn’t believe you’d ever say to me.”
“I’m sorry, but, dad, use your head. Why would a girl marry a man old enough to be her father?”
He looked at his daughter. Shaking his head, he thought how wrong he’d been. Maureen took the news of the divorce without flinching, but the fact that he could be in love with someone and she with him was being needlessly distorted. Was she jealous because Kelly was being replaced by someone almost the same age as Maureen? If he’d fallen in love with an older woman would she more easily have accepted that? Or was it that she wanted nobody to have her place in his life…?
Maureen was transformed. He’d be taking this…this childish nobody to Argentina with him instead of her. She’d always adored him so…To her mind he was the ideal man, the kind of man she would wait for. Now this…
“Wait till you meet her, Maureen.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, dad, but I’ll never do that…never.”
“And you say you don’t want to hurt me?”
“I’m sorry. Sorry—” And she ran out of the restaurant to the car.
She was sobbing when he got into the car. He took her to him, put her head on his shoulder. “I wish it could be different…”
“Oh, daddy, so do I. I’ve always loved you so, I still do…but I think you’re making a terrible mistake leaving mom for her—”
“That’s not the reason you’re angry, sweetheart, and you know it.”
Portraits Page 29
