When they got to Dan’s apartment, he had champagne, caviar and a small two-tiered wedding cake waiting for them.
“You did this?” Lillian said. “You’re more romantic than I am—”
“But you’re better looking…now, let’s see how good I am at popping the cork.” As he struggled with it, Lillian said, “Honey, this you’re not going to believe, but I left my overnight case in the taxi.”
“Well, you can always wear my pajamas…”
As it turned out, Lillian didn’t need her overnight case, nor Dan’s pajamas.
After they had made love Dan said, “You know, darling, if I’d known how it was going to be, I’m damned if I’d ever have given you even those twenty-four hours.”
She snuggled closer to him. “I’ll do my best to make it up to you for lost time.”
“How about now?”
Her eager kiss was his answer.
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
THE NEXT MORNING LILLIAN was in the kitchen, wearing Dan’s robe and slippers, measuring the coffee into the Silex. “Honey, what do you want for breakfast?”
Dan was shaving in the bathroom. “Who can think about breakfast after last night?”
“Well, I hoped you’d worked up a big appetite.”
“I have, and don’t tempt me…”
Twenty minutes later, they were sitting across from each other at the table, eating their wedding breakfast of waffles and very crisp—according to Dan’s prescription—bacon. She looked at her tall, sandy-haired, hazel-eyed new husband and smiled to herself. Isn’t this remarkable, she thought. When my life ended with Jerry I would have laid odds that a morning like this was something I’d never see again. It’s too incredible for words. Which she didn’t try to find.
“You know,” Dan said, “the day you walked in Carolyn’s I had a feeling you probably made the best waffles in the world.”
“So that was it. And all the time I thought you were after me because of that seventy-nine-dollar coat I bought.”
“That too…I’m greedy,” and he proved it by taking her off to the bedroom for the best part of their wedding breakfast.
Afterward, in between kisses, they polished off the rest of the champagne, and he announced it was now time to consider the honeymoon.
“Terrific…where are we going?”
“I thought we’d splurge and hire a car, take a little ride, stop for lunch on the coast, and maybe drop in to see my grandmother. She got back from Kansas yesterday—”
“How come you didn’t tell me, Dan?”
“Because you would have insisted she be at the wedding. I told her how adorable your family is, and that since they weren’t going to be there I thought it should be just the two of us. And Mabel agreed.” …
Everything Dan had said about his grandmother was true. She was what everybody wished a grandmother to be, and she was genuinely pleased that Dan had at long last found the person he wanted to share his life with.
As they sat with her in her small cozy apartment she said to Lillian, “I was beginning to worry about your husband.”
“Why?”
“Well, at twenty-six he had all the makings of a confirmed bachelor. Thank God you came along and saved him from that.”
“Well, it works both ways, Mabel. He rescued this blushing bride of thirty-one…”
When the time came for them to go, Mabel said, “Lillian, I just want you to know how pleased I am that Dan found you. Somehow I know the two of you are so right. Just be happy, my dear. I think you both hugely deserve it.”
The next day, after Lillian had straightened up the apartment, she called her mother to see how the children were doing. To her surprise, Sara urged her to come out to the house.
As she sat in her mother’s bedroom the conversation was stilted, but this morning Sara seemed more hurt than angry.
“So, now you’re married again—”
“Yes, thank God, mama. When Jerry and I broke up, the world just fell apart for me. I never thought I’d ever be able to put it together again—but it happened.”
“Well, I hope it continues, for your sake, but I think you’ve made a terrible mistake, Lillian. Your husband is a handsome young man and women age a lot quicker than men. What’s going to happen ten years from now?”
“Mama, it seems to me I’ve heard this same thing before—though in a slightly different form. Jim was too old for Rachel, but they seem to be perfectly happy together. Marriage has nothing to do with people’s ages. It’s understanding and being able to communicate with each other that makes a marriage.”
“That’s all very philosophical, Lillian, and on the surface it sounds very good. But reality is something else. When a woman is married to a younger man, as time goes on she has to work hard to keep up with him and that can be a very great strain…”
If anybody was unqualified to give advice on marriage, it was certainly mama. She and papa had no greater understanding of each other now than they had when they first married.
“What happens, Lillian,” Sara went on, “when you’re not quite as lovely as you are now? Men do stray, you know. It’s in their nature.”
“That depends on the woman, the marriage and especially the two people involved. Besides, it’s not true—not all men stray,” she said, thinking of Jerry. “So, if you’ve any worries about my marriage, don’t add that one to your repertoire. Well, I didn’t come to talk about that…I’d be grateful if papa would arrange to give me my money. And I want to take the girls as quickly as possible.”
Sara paled at the thought of losing the girls. She really needed them, though she’d never stopped to analyze the reasons. Lillian’s remarriage had left her feeling lost—just as lost as when she’d been a little girl in Belgium, unwanted by her mother and Louie but always hoping that some day…
There was a pleading note now in Sara’s voice that she was not aware of…“Lillian, you’ve just been married. Why don’t you give yourself a chance to adjust. Anyway, your present living situation is hardly suitable to having the children live with you—”
“Obviously, I’m going to take a larger place.”
“Lillian, don’t be selfish. Please think of the children too. They’re accustomed to this being their home, and they have every advantage here. Leave them for a little while…”
“I think the sooner they adjust to their new lives, the better it will be for all of us, mama.”
Sara began to cry. Sometimes, Lillian thought, crying seemed to come as naturally to mama as breathing…
“Please don’t take them yet, Lillian. Leave papa and me with something…”
Lillian couldn’t help it…all the hostility and anger that had dominated their relationship was washed out from her for the moment. She needed time to find an apartment and get settled anyway, and it would do no harm to have the girls here for a little while…
“All right, mama, but the girls are going to come live with us as soon as we’re settled. Papa’s not traveling as much and he’ll be around to keep you company…But if that isn’t enough, remember that there’s still a big world out there, mama…If only you’d make an effort you could find a life for yourself. Other women do. Mama, you can be a very charming woman when you want to be. There is no reason you can’t make friends. There are a million charities…”
“Lillian, you’re just talking foolishness. Your father still goes to bed at eight o’clock at night and gets up at four in the morning and I have to be home to get his dinner in the early afternoon. I don’t have a normal life, like other women do.”
Well, there was just no use pursuing it. Mama, it seemed, just wasn’t going to try. She would live—and die—feeling victimized…“Well, be that as it may, mama, I think there’s a great deal you could do to help your situation. Now, I’m going to pick the girls up after school every day. And I want them to spend a little time in the evening with Dan, so they’ll come to dinner too.”
“You mean every night?”
�
�Well, maybe not every night, but often. They’re going to have to get to know Dan, although I expect them to go on seeing and loving Jerry too. For the first time in our lives, let’s try to be sensible and mature people. Okay, mama?”
Sara nodded…
Jacob was as upset about Lillian’s intention of taking the children as about her request for her twenty-five thousand dollars. “You call her on the phone,” he told Sara. “I want to see her—and tell her to come alone.”
But when Lillian arrived, Dan was with her. If papa was going to be a tough adversary, so was she. When they walked into the library, Jacob was fuming.
“I told you to come alone.”
“Since I no longer am alone, I don’t intend to start out my life with secrets. Anything you have to tell me can be said in front of my husband.”
Jacob’s face was rigid. “What, if I may ask, do you intend to do with twenty-five thousand dollars?”
“Since it’s mine, I don’t really think I need to answer that. But I suppose you’ll find out sooner or later…I’m going to put part of it down on a house and then Dan and I are going to open a dress shop—”
“You know what’s going to happen, don’t you, Lillian? You’re going to take that money and it’s going to be like sand going down a rat hole.”
“As I said, it happens to be my money, money that Jerry earned—and a damn sight less than you owe for the things he did for you. I have the right to take it and throw it in the ocean if I want.”
“Damn it, do you think I don’t know why this…this person married you?”
“Now just a minute, Mr. Sanders,” Dan shouted, “I won’t take that from you. I haven’t seen any great dowry that you’ve bestowed on Lillian. I got along okay without you and I intend to keep it that way.”
“But you’d never be able to get into business without my daughter’s money, would you—?”
“I’ll answer that if you don’t mind, Dan,” Lillian interrupted. “I happen to be the one who suggested going into business, not Dan. And for your information, I resent your talking to my husband that way. I want my money, it’s as simple as that.”
“Why you ungrateful girl, after all I’ve done for you.”
“You broke up my first marriage and you dare call me ungrateful?”
Jacob stood up, about to strike Lillian for the first time in his life. But he caught himself and merely glared at her before he finally walked from the room.
For a moment, Dan and Lillian sat quietly, each with their separate thoughts. When she looked up at him, she said, “There are feelings that are very, very hard to explain. What I said to my father was true about my marriage, but I’m sorry for having said it. This may be difficult for you to understand, but no matter how hard you try, you never stop being a child, someone’s daughter or son. I can’t apologize for my father, but I hope you can forgive the way he talked to you tonight…”
Two days later Lillian received a registered letter. She knew what was in it without opening it, but when she took the check out and looked at it she couldn’t help feeling that it should really have been made out to Jerry…
The next week she found a charming one-story ranch house in a good section of Menlo Park. It was in some disrepair, but Lillian saw great possibilities in it, and the price of eighteen thousand dollars attracted her even more. She showed it to Dan, who approved, and they promptly bought it.
“Lillian, I want this to be in your name.”
“Oh, no. We’re not starting out that way. What I’ve got is yours, and vice versa.”
“Well, I’m afraid vice versa ain’t going to buy you much more than a bus ticket.”
“We’re not going to have to worry about bus tickets. Tomorrow we’re going to sign the lease on the store on University Avenue.”
He pulled her to him and held her tightly. “How the hell did I ever get so lucky?”
“Well, you said you did a mean tango. And damn it, Dan, we’re going to tango on our own.”
“You mean on your own.”
“Dan Fuller, let’s get this out of the way once and for all. There isn’t going to be one towel that says his and one that says hers. They’re going to say ours.”
He looked at her once and shook his head. “I still say I don’t know how I lucked out.”
“Tell me that twenty-five years from now.”
“I intend to.”
The next months were filled with scarcely any leisure moments for either of them. Between the house and the store, Lillian was finding out how to use a hammer and a saw, how to wallpaper, install linoleum and lay ceramic tile. Their first priority was getting the store ready so they could open.
Dan was extraordinarily artistic, and very handy with carpentry work. They remodeled and decorated the store at a minimum expense, and the result was far above their expectations.
Having been connected in one way or another with the dress business for twelve years, Dan’s expertise amazed Lillian. He chose his stock judiciously, and the use of mirrors and lighting not only made the store appear larger but the stock more plentiful.
Announcements were sent to all the customers from Carolyn’s—which didn’t exactly endear Dan Fuller to Carolyn Hodge. Still she smiled graciously when she attended the opening, although it was already apparent to her that he was going to present some tough competition.
Once the store was in operation Lillian turned her attention to finishing and restoring the house. Within two months her furniture was being arranged and all was ready for the girls to move in.
Lillian went up to the house to collect the children in her secondhand Oldsmobile. As usual, she found Jacob and Sara sitting in the library.
“Mama, papa, in spite of all that’s happened, I want you to know that you’re both welcome in our home.”
Jacob didn’t answer, Sara couldn’t. When Sara saw the two little girls standing before her in their coats, she…inevitably…began to cry.
Cindy said, “Don’t cry, sissy, we don’t live very far from here. You’re going to be seeing us all the time—”
“I know, I know. You’ll call…you won’t forget.” Oh God, she thought, what was she going to do tomorrow? She could already hear the empty echo of that enormous house…
The children’s adjustment to Dan was everything Lillian had hoped for. They loved Jerry, but their affection for Dan was undeniable—as was his for them. On weekends they all worked in the garden. Dan bought three rose bushes, dug the holes for them and made a great ceremony out of planting them. Each had its own name plate. He said they were for his three American beauties.
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
JACOB WAS READING IN the library when the phone rang.
“Jacob?” The tremulous voice on the other end was familiar, but he was startled by the sound of it. “Gittel?”
There was a long pause, then: “Yes, Jacob.”
His hand shook. Why was Gittel calling, especially at this time of night? It would be eleven o’clock in Cleveland. “How are you, Gittel?”
“Oh Jacob…Jacob, how can I tell you this?”
“Tell me what?” His face tightened.
“It’s Shlomo…”
Jacob shut his eyes, began to shake. “What about Shlomo?”
“Oh God, Jacob, Shlomo is dying.”
Silence, except for Gittel’s sobbing. Finally Jacob found his voice. “Why…what…?”
She could hardly get the words out. “He has cancer, Jacob…I don’t know what happened between you, but please, whatever it was you should make it up.”
Tears started to his eyes. I knew one day you would come…mama always said you’d come…He could see Shlomo’s large soulful eyes as he’d said that…“Gittel?”
“Yes, Jacob…”
“I’ll send money for you and mama to go and I’ll meet you in Los Angeles.”
“We’re already here.”
He was stunned. “How long have you been there?”
“For three days. We left as so
on as Nadine called.”
“And you didn’t try to contact me?”
“They…I mean Shlomo’s sons made me promise I wouldn’t, but I know God will forgive me for not keeping my word. They didn’t understand as I do. Yes, Jacob, you should come.”
“I’ll leave right away…What hospital?”
“Cedars of Lebanon.”
“All right, Gittel, I’ll be there as soon as I can get a plane.”
“God bless you, Jacob.”
No, God damn me, Jacob thought as he hung up. He went to Sara’s room. “I just spoke to Gittel.” His voice broke. “Shlomo is very sick and I’m going to Los Angeles. I know you haven’t been feeling too well yourself, but I think it’s only right that you should go too.”
“I would, Jacob, but you must believe me, I don’t think I feel strong enough to make it. I’m sorry about Shlomo but I feel too sick to even get out of bed.” She was ill, of that he had no doubt. He would rather not go alone but he had no choice. “All right, Sara, I’m leaving tonight…I don’t know how long I’ll be there but I’ll call.” …
Jacob was shocked when he saw Gittel. Her once beautiful, soft face was creased and pale, but worst of all was the sight of his mother. Esther looked shrunken. She looked at him vaguely. “Jacob?”
“Yes, mama…” He held her frail body close to him as a flood of memories came back…You’re a fine man, Jacob…Gittel’s first child had been born that night. Here’s your father’s tallis. Wear it with the dignity he did…You hate me, say it…
He didn’t hate her tonight. He needed her more than anyone in the world at this moment. From her he found the strength to go to Shlomo’s room.
When he opened the door a handsome young man got up from the chair and approached him. With an abrupt gesture he summoned Jacob out of the room and in the hall said without preamble, “I’m sorry Aunt Gittel asked you to come. My father’s wish is for you not to be permitted to see him or to attend his funeral.”
Jacob stood remembering how he had hit Shlomo, then had held him close in his arms like a child. Oh please, God…don’t let Shlomo die…“I don’t care,” he said to Shlomo’s son, “I don’t care what happened between your father and me. I’m going to see my brother.”
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