by Leila James
“That’s my girl. My Red.”
He rolls to his back and draws me in to his side, and I throw my leg over his. We lie there like that, tangled up in each other for a long time, me intermittently pressing kisses to his chest, him stroking his fingertips over my back.
“We’re good together,” he mumbles, halfway to sleep.
Funny, but my mind is whirring a mile a minute. And I have a question because I’m confused. “Xander?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“When did Aria show you that letter?”
“Just the other day. Why?” He clears his throat and looks down into my eyes.
“The fact that your stepdad is probably my father is why you were pushing me away, right? Which I kind of get, because your mom doesn’t know, does she?”
“Yes, that’s why, and no, I don’t think she knows.” His body hums with tension.
“And you’re protecting her. And Janie. From finding out about … me. Right?”
“Yes.”
As the pieces click into place, I shove myself to sitting, pulling the sheet to my chest. He’s still keeping something from me. “If you only just found out, what reason did you have for everything you did to me at the beginning of the school year?”
He sits up, eyes flicking from mine down to his hands. “I—dammit, Red. At first, I was protecting them. Now I’m protecting all of you.”
“What aren’t you telling me, Xander? Why did you come over here and pretend to spill all of your secrets, only to hold on to some? If I know Sebastian is my father, and we know he knows I’m his because he’s paying for my schooling, what’s left?”
He runs his hand through his hair, gripping it and pulling, his eyes hard when they finally connect with mine. “You need to fucking trust me, Scarlett. I have to talk to Sebastian.”
I press my lips together as both anger and fear begin to rise within me. “Maybe I’d trust you more if you’d be honest with me and tell me stuff.”
His voice is laced with anguish. “I can’t. Not until I know.”
I gasp out my pain at him denying my request, clutching the sheet at my breasts. “Here we fucking go again. This is my goddamn life, Xander. You have no right to keep things from me.” Tears spring to the back of my eyes, burning. I’m not going to cry in front of him, though.
He shakes his head and shoves himself off the bed. “It’s clawing at my insides that you don’t trust me. It’s killing me.” He props his hands on his hips, staring down at me, his hard, muscled body on full display. His chest rises and falls faster and faster the longer we stare at each other. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“You’re not protecting me. You’re hurting me. You’re hurting us. Please leave.”
He closes his eyes, his jaw rigid as he blows out a hard breath. Without another word, he pulls his clothes on and leaves my room.
So much for getting any sleep tonight.
Chapter 21
Scarlett
Once my aunt and uncle returned from dinner last night—and before Xander made his appearance in my bedroom—Uncle David mentioned that he’d have to have his guys look at my truck. He’d personally gone out to Teri & Terry’s after dropping me off at school this morning, thinking he’d need to get it towed to the garage. The idea that I’d be without my truck the whole time they were gone was slightly terrifying, but he’d called me before classes started to let me know he didn’t need to tow it after all. Apparently, the wires had somehow become disconnected from the battery. He’d done a whole lot of grumbling about that, considering it had just been looked over when he got it for me. He said he’d leave it at the garage to have his guys do a more in-depth look at it to make sure nothing else was wrong, and I would probably be able to pick it up this afternoon after school.
Really. Fucking. Weird.
Especially weird when I take into account the truck that had stalked me as I’d tried to get home on foot. I’m creeped out, but refuse to mention it as they get ready to go out of town today. They’d stay home from Aunt Liz’s conference, and she’s already done way too much of that to ensure I’m adjusting well here. If only she knew. And it’s totally my fault that she doesn’t, but I can’t bear to tell her when they were so excited this morning to go.
I’m on my way in from my run when I notice a pretty big commotion on the football field. I’m still so mad at Xander, I almost head straight for the locker room, ignoring him and all of his teammates and whatever is going on.
As I get closer, all of the players and all three coaches run toward the far end zone. The team huddles around in a circle, and I assume a player is down on the field. I jog up to the fence, prepared to do my stretches there. Worry starts to replace my anger as a few other runners stop alongside me to see what the commotion is all about.
Kari, our team captain, runs up, out of breath, and rasps, “What’s going on?”
I shake my head. “I’m not sure.” I kick a leg up behind me, pulling my foot to stretch my quad, then switch and do the other leg.
Beau’s younger brother Griffin, a running back, takes off at a dead sprint for the gym. My heart pounds furiously behind my rib cage.
I glance at Kari before whispering, “I think someone got hurt pretty badly.” My throat goes dry as I watch what’s happening.
She nods, wide-eyed, and returns her gaze to the field.
No more than a minute later, Mr. Simmons, the athletic trainer, follows Griffin back across the field with a medical bag. The shriek of a siren in the distance splits the air.
Distracted by looking for the lights of an ambulance, I don’t notice Beau and Micah racing toward the group of us at the fence until they are already right on us. My hand drifts up, fingers touching my lips. I shake my head. “No.” I say the word so quietly, I don’t think anyone heard me. A lump forms in my throat.
Half out of breath, Micah confirms my worst fear when he says, “It’s Xander. He took a hard hit to the head and was unconscious for a minute.”
“Oh my God.” I blink, confused why they are over here if their friend is down on the field.
“He’s asking for you,” Beau gasps out.
I blink again. “He is?”
“He’s frantic and won’t stay still—and he really needs to. Would you come with us?”
Micah growls, “We know you two had some sort of argument last night. He’s been upset about whatever happened all day long. But he needs you now.”
Fear for Xander’s well-being slithers down my spine. I blow out a quick breath and nod. “Yes. Okay. Of course.” No matter how shitty he’s made me feel by keeping things from me, if he’s hurt and asking for me, I’m going.
Beau gestures that I should try to climb. “Over the fence, pretty girl.”
Frantic now, I gasp out, “Help me.” They each hold out their hands, and I grab on tightly to them. Several runners from my team put their clasped hands down to give me a boost to help me over. Once I hit the ground, Beau and Micah release my hands, and I’m running faster than I’ve ever run before. Faster than I thought I was physically able to run. Micah and Beau are behind me, grunting and huffing as they try to keep up.
A few of Xander’s teammates, coincidentally the same jackasses who have loved picking on me in English, motion to others that they should move to the side to give us room.
“Where’s Scarlett?” Xander’s voice sounds shaky and uncertain.
My voice falters through harsh breaths. “I-I’m here, Xander.” I rush to kneel at his side where they’re trying to immobilize him, but he’s a big dude and keeps trying to push free of them. The second he hears me, though, he calms.
“Red,” he gasps out, his eyes connecting with mine. There’s so much relief there in his face, so much emotion, it cuts me deep. Shivers wash over my body as I take in the sight of him on the ground.
It doesn’t matter what he’s done, whatever he’s keeping from me; I only care that he’s okay. And at the moment, it doesn’t seem he remembers that we had wo
rds last night.
I take his hand in mine and squeeze tightly. “It’s okay. I’m here. Try not to move.”
He’s still got his helmet on, and I so badly want to touch his cheek, to reassure him somehow, but the face guard is in the way. His eyes are dazed, and he keeps blinking. I’m not entirely sure, but his pupils look dilated to me. My jaw tenses. This is scaring the shit out of me.
The ambulance comes through the wide gate at the other end of the field, driving directly onto the grass. Paramedics exit and hurry to us, capable hands flying to check over Xander while they ask plenty of questions. The players and coaches do their best to answer, giving all the information they can about what happened. It’s all kind of going over my head, everyone’s words hazy and hushed, as if all I can focus on is Xander’s hand in mine and his gaze riveted to my face. I don’t know how long my lip has been clamped between my teeth, but I wince and ease up on it. I trace what I hope are soothing patterns on the back of his hand.
I don’t care that I’m angry with him. I still want him, still need him like I need my next breath.
The paramedics evaluate him, buzzing around the two of us, and decide to remove his helmet. My eyes are glued to them as they perform the task with painstaking caution, then fit a stability collar around his neck. Once the helmet’s off, I find myself leaning closer, ghosting a kiss over his cheek.
“Miss.”
My head whips around toward the deep voice of the paramedic behind me.
“We need to transfer him to the stretcher to get him into the ambulance. You’ll need to let go now.”
I nod, sucking in a gulp of air. “O-okay.” I squeeze my eyes shut for a second then lean forward, looking into his dark eyes, registering the panic I see there. “It’s going to be okay. They need me to let go of your hand.”
“Will you come?” he murmurs.
I nod, squeezing his hand one last time before I let go and stand. The paramedics work quickly, loading Xander into the ambulance.
My hands go to my cheeks as I breathe, trying to hold myself together. To no one in particular, I mumble, “My truck is still at my uncle’s garage.”
A big pair of hands fall to my shoulders, squeezing gently. Beau’s voice is low and husky near my ear. “Come on. One of us will take you to get it after we go see Xander. Can’t be without wheels.”
Chapter 22
Xander
I lie in the MRI tube, trying to stay still like they’d told me to, but it’s deafening in here, like a jackhammer in surround sound. This can’t be good for someone who might be concussed. My head is going to fall right off my shoulders, roll out of the machine, and onto the floor.
If it did, maybe I could stop thinking about all the mistakes I’ve made with Scarlett. While in the ambulance, I remembered that she’d made me leave last night. She’s pretty upset with me, yet, she’d been right by my side. I’m hopeful that means something.
Every single step I’ve taken in the name of protecting my mom and Janie—and now Scarlett—suddenly feels wrong. I’m scared shitless. Terrified. If I’d known what I would find digging around in Sebastian’s desk and all the trouble that damn photo would cause—all the hurt it could and might still bring the people I care about—I’d never have gone in there. Stayed comfortably oblivious. Scarlett and I would be … what? I don’t even know, but if I could go back to that first day, when I saw her and didn’t know who she was, I might. We’d both been carefree that morning. Flirting. Checking each other out like teenagers are supposed to do. We’d been happy. Excited about the possibilities ahead of us. I take a deep breath.
“Stay still, hon.” The stern voice of the lady running the test comes to me from a speaker somewhere inside the machine.
“Sorry,” I murmur.
“It’s okay, but every time you move, I have to start over.”
“Shit.”
She chuckles. “I hear you on that. Hold tight, and I’ll get you out of there as quickly as I can.”
“Thank you.” Fuck me, it already feels like I’ve been in here forever. I close my eyes and let myself drift. I go right back to my thoughts, trying to remember to breathe shallowly. You know what? Someone was going to bring all of this out into the open eventually. I just don’t understand who the other player is. Why do they even care about something that happened seventeen years ago?
When the testing is finally done, they take me back to a room. The nurse hurries around, checking my IV, getting me some water, and making sure I’m comfortable.
“Can I have visitors yet?”
She nods. “Two at a time. You have a whole crew of them waiting out there. Who do you want to see first?”
My heart says Scarlett, but my mom will freak if she doesn’t get to see me soon. “Could you ask for my mom, Isabella, and my little sister, Janie?”
“Isabella and Janie. Mom and sister. Got it. I sure can. And your test results should be back soon. Your coach pitched a fit, so they put a rush on them.”
My lips twitch into a small smile. “Thank you. When can I get out of here?”
She winks at me. “I was waiting for you to ask that. Depending on the results, they may let you go home later today. I’ll send in your first visitors.”
“Thanks again.”
She nods and slips out the door.
About five minutes later, a quiet knock sounds on the door before it pushes open and my mom peeks in with Janie on her hip. Once she sees me, she moves quickly, crossing the room to my bedside. “Oh, honey.”
I can hear it in her voice. She’s trying not to freak out for Janie’s sake. “I’m okay. They think it’s a mild concussion. I feel fine, but I have a headache, and I’m sore and tired.”
Janie buries her face in Mom’s shoulder. All I can see is a pair of strawberry blonde pigtails. Mom nods, her face strained as she leans in to kiss my forehead, then runs her free hand down the side of my face. She looks deeply into my eyes, probably trying to ascertain for herself whether I’m really okay or if I’m downplaying how bad it is. She swallows hard as she pulls away to drag the only chair in the room closer to the bed and takes a seat.
“Where’s my Monkey?”
Janie turns her head and peeks at me, a tiny smile on her quivering lips.
I smile at her and hold out my arms. “Come here.”
“Are you sure, Xander?” Mom gazes at me with concern.
“I’m fine. I’ll be better if I can have a hug from my little sister. Whaddaya say, Monkey?”
She snuggles in once Mom’s set her on the bed in the crook of my arm. “You got hurt, Xander?”
I hate the way her little lip trembles when she looks up at me. I tap her nose with my finger. “Yeah. Just a little boo-boo, though.”
Her brow furrows, like she knows I’m lying. “If it was a little boo-boo, a bandage would be enough.” She seems to set that aside and grins. “I have unicorn Band-Aids at home.”
Mom chuckles. “Careful what you say, she’ll make you wear one.”
I wet my lips. “Okay, so maybe it was a bigger boo-boo.” At her worried look, I continue. “I hit my head. But I was wearing my helmet, so I’ll be okay. That’s why we make you wear your bike helmet, too. Because it keeps you safe.”
Mom comes over and kisses my forehead as she strokes the back of Janie’s head. “While I’d love to sit here with you all day, there’s someone out there who is very anxious to see you. Is it okay if I leave Janie in here and send her in?”
My body sags in relief. “She’s here?”
“Yes.” She pauses. “You know, you can bring her around more often. She seems like a really nice girl. I like her a lot.” She releases a careful exhale. “She’s been out of her mind with worry since Beau and Micah brought her to the waiting room.”
“Did she seem mad at me at all?”
“What? No. Why would you think that?”
“I just— I should have told her something and I didn’t. It’ll be fine.”
Mom pats my shoul
der. “I’m sure it will be.” She pauses, and I can tell she’s contemplating asking something else.
“What? You can ask.”
“She’s important to you.”
“That’s not a question.” I give her a little smirk.
“Xander …”
“Yes. She’s really important to me. I’m falling for her, Mom.”
She tilts her head, studying me. “Good to know. I’ll go get her.”
Not a minute later, the door opens again. I hold my finger up to my lips when I see Scarlett and point at a sleeping Janie. Poor thing must have been stressed out with everything today and decided it was nap time while Mom and I were talking.
Scarlett nods her understanding and circles the foot of the bed to the other side. I hold out my hand to her and she takes it, kissing my knuckles as she leans her hip on the bed. Her gaze is riveted to Janie.
“Xander,” she murmurs. “She’s my sister.”
I breathe deeply. “Mine too. Weird, right?”
“A little.” She shrugs but reaches a careful hand out, sliding the back of her finger over Janie’s cheek.
I close my eyes for a second before I huff out a breath. “So, I hear someone was worried about me.” A smile curves my lips, seeing she’s still in her practice clothes. Hadn’t even bothered to change.
“I still am.” She brushes hair back from my forehead, then leans in and places a careful kiss on my lips. “You scared me. Don’t tease me about it.”
Her face hovers six inches in front of mine, and I gaze intently into those sparkling blue eyes of hers. I could so easily drown in them. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for last night, too.”
“You remember. I wasn’t sure after everything.” She catches her lip with her teeth and bows her head for a second. “I accept your apology. And I wanted to let you know—I do trust you.” She takes a deep breath and meets my gaze, a surrender of sorts clear in her eyes. “You’ll tell me when the time is right.”
I swallow hard. “I will. I promise.” A vision of the photo I found swims in my head. The anger in the note written on the back—I hope it was just the frustration borne of abandonment because the thought that Sebastian may have somehow used Amelia and gotten her pregnant … it preys on my mind. The wording leaves a lot to interpretation. And the scholarship? My guess is that he did it because he feels guilty. The question is, guilty about what?
