by Jenika Snow
Dillon didn’t make either of us wait. He had his mouth on mine seconds later. I couldn’t stop the small noise that left the back of my throat.
He made this distorted sound, this all-male, animalistic noise that told me he’d gone over the edge.
This might be my first time, but I wanted him the way I knew he was: raw, rough, uninhibited.
With his hand still in my hair and my throat arched, he broke the kiss and started kissing and sucking the side of my neck again. He was thorough with his tongue and lips, and I was ready to beg him to fuck me.
“You feel what you do to me?” he asked and thrust his dick against my leg harder, firmer.
I nodded, feeling lost.
“You want me to make you feel good?”
“God, yes,” I moaned out.
He was on me in the next second.
The hot, hard length of him pressed between my thighs, and I shifted, spreading my legs even wider. His cock pressed right to my slit, and I gasped at how big he was.
Dillon started moving his hips back and forth, rubbing himself against my clit.
I could get off from this alone.
His cockhead moved over my clit every time he pressed his dick upward, and these inaudible sounds left me. I wasn’t in control right now. But then again I didn’t want to be.
For long seconds all Dillon did was move back and forth against me, driving my lust higher. I had my hands on his biceps, dug my nails into his flesh, and heard him hiss. But as I was about to remove my fingers from his flesh, he grunted.
“No, I like it. Keep them there. Dig your nails in.” He thrust against me hard, pressing on my clit.
“How much do you want me right here?” He thrust again, and again, and God, once more. “How much do you want my big dick deep in your pussy?” he whispered by my ear. “You want me stretching this little pussy?”
I nodded, my eyes now closed, my breathing increased.
“You want it to hurt so fucking good?”
I moaned when he pressed his weight down on me farther.
“I want that and more.”
He groaned deeply, the noise more pained than anything I’d ever heard before.
“Then hang on, baby, because I’m about to give you more than you can handle.”
He reached between our bodies, grabbed his cock, and placed the tip at the entrance of my pussy. Yes, this was what I’d been dying to feel.
Everything inside of me stilled, became tense and ready.
“Relax for me,” he said softly by my ear.
I did as he said, but I knew if I just shifted a little, I could impale myself on him.
“There is no going back.”
“I don’t want to go back, Dillon.” And I didn’t. “I don’t want slow and romantic. I want fast and hard. I want it the way you want to give it to me.”
“Because that’s the way you want it, too. Yeah?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He didn’t move for a second, but I felt how wide the head of his dick was pressed against me. This would be painful at first, but I was so wet, so worked up, I knew I wouldn’t stop this, knew I’d explode for him like a rocket.
There really was no going back.
In one deep, hard thrust, he shoved all those huge inches into me. My back arched involuntary from the sudden motion, from the powerful penetration. My breasts were thrust out, my nipples rock hard. The pain was there, sharp, claiming my entire body. I was stretched in two by him. Dillon was just so large, so thick, there was no going around the discomfort.
He groaned above me, closed his eyes, beads of sweat on his forehead. He was tense, his muscles strained, his tendons on display.
He’s trying to control himself.
His balls were pressed right up against my ass. They were a big, heavy weight.
But then he started pulling out and gently pushing back in. The pain mixed with the pleasure, and I felt ecstasy move through me and settle in my cells.
As the seconds moved on, the minutes being eaten up, his motions became fiercer, more determined.
He had his eyes partially open, his focus on me. His massive chest rose and fell as he breathed in and out, brushing against mine, letting reality settle in further.
“Fuck, yeah, baby.” He pushed in deep, so deep I was rocked up on the bed an inch. He pulled out, bringing the tip of himself right to my entrance. He plunged back in, taking my sanity, the very self-awareness from me.
“Watch as I take you, as I claim this pussy as my own.” He slammed into me again but then rose up, his forearms going straight, his head downcast as he looked at where we were connected. “Hell, baby,” he said, low, husky.
I shifted slightly, seeing what he did. I watched as he pumped in and out of me, his cock becoming visible. His length was covered in my juices, and I saw streaks of my virgin blood covering him.
Why that sight turned me on even more was lost on me, but God, it was hot.
When I lifted my head and looked at his face again, I saw Dillon was already watching me.
“Knowing you’re watching what I’m doing, how I’m fucking you…” His body shook atop mine as if he was having a hard time controlling the action. “Turns me on like a motherfucker.”
I lay back down and just let him do this … do me.
It was as if that one action was what he needed to go primal on me. Dillon started fucking me like he really meant it, and I hadn’t realized until this one moment just how much he’d been holding back.
He pulled out of me, and I gasped in surprise and at the loss of having him buried in my body. But before I could complain or beg him to slide back into my pussy, he gripped my waist and flipped me over.
“So damn perfect.” He didn’t make me wait long to feel those monstrous inches again. I closed my eyes and curled the sheets in my fists, loving the sensation his palms on my ass conjured in me.
Feels good.
“I hope you’re ready,” he said in this hard, dangerous voice. “Get on your hands and knees, present yourself to me.” I did as he said, my pussy already feeling sore though he hadn’t even been inside me that long. But damn, I wanted to feel that discomfort, wanted to remember exactly how deep he had been in me.
When I was in position, he forcefully pushed my legs farther apart. Did he know how much I liked that? Did he know him being rough made this even better for me?
He smoothed his hand over my ass. His touch felt so good, so demanding. There was no doubt in my mind that Dillon was all raw sex and hardcore desires. For long seconds all he did was stroke my ass, but then he brought his palm down on it hard, and I gasped out. He did it again, groaned deeply in his chest, and I jerked and gasped in pleasure.
“Lexi. Mine.”
I’d never get sick of hearing him say my name or declaring what he wanted … me.
“You’re so fucking hot.” He grabbed a chunk of my hair forcefully, and I moaned in response. Dillon yanked my head back, getting more leverage, and growled low. “You want me back inside?”
“Yes.” I all but cried out that lone word.
He placed his cock right back at my entrance and in a fluid motion shoved deep into me.
“Jesus.”
Dillon started picking up speed and soon was fucking me with abandon.
“Yes,” I found myself crying out.
He grabbed my waist, curled his fingers into my flesh hard enough it hurt, and fucked me like he was dying for it.
“Fuck. Yeah. Lexi.”
Over and over he surged into me and retreated. And when I couldn’t take any more, when I felt the world fall away, he plunged into me once more and stilled.
“So damn good,” he gritted out. “I’m coming.”
I came right along with him.
He filled me up with so much of his cum I knew I’d feel it slip out of me when I stood. I’d be forever marked by him.
He jerked above me, still coming, still groaning. “Shit, baby.” The words sounded distorted, out
of breath.
It seemed like our combined pleasure went on for ages, but just when I caught my breath, he sagged, his cock still hard in me, his flesh damp on mine. He pulled out, and we both made this disgruntled sound. I couldn’t stop myself from collapsing onto the mattress, the sheets smelling like him and making me feel drunk. The bed shifted as he lay down beside me. The sensation of his hand on my back, of his big strong fingers caressing me, had calm settling over me.
I felt myself start to come down from the high, but as soon as Dillon placed his hand between my legs and rested it right over my pussy, my body heated again.
“Mine, Lexi.”
Yeah, I am.
“God, baby.”
Dillon was breathing just as hard as I was. He pulled me close to the warmth of his body and grabbed the blanket to cover us. This didn’t feel like some awkward after-sex thing. It felt right, comfortable, like I was exactly where I should be.
“I’m not letting you go.”
Heat filled me, and it had nothing to do with being aroused still. I shifted so I could look at his face and see how serious he was. His dark eyes were so expressive in this moment.
“You’re probably thinking this is pretty fucking fast and crazy.”
I was, but I wanted it that way.
“But when I say I’m not letting you go, I mean it. Do you understand what that means?”
“I hope I know what it means,” I said truthfully.
“It means you’re mine. It means I want you here, by my side.” He cupped my cheek and stared into my eyes. “It means that no matter what, you’re it for me. I’m tired of being alone, and you’re the one I want.”
I might not know what the future held, but what I did know with certainty was that this man was who I wanted to be with. We completed each other in a way that no one else could match. He filled that lonely hole I’d had for so long, and I felt I did the same for him.
We didn’t have to be strangers moving through life with just the purpose of being alive.
We could actually live.
I didn’t want to let that go.
I wouldn’t let him go.
8
Lexi
The next day
“I want to stay like this, Lexi, with you in my bed, under my roof,” Dillon said, his voice deep and sleep filled. “I want you to be mine in every conceivable way, not because I’d keep you here—which has crossed my mind—but because you know this is where you’re supposed to be.” His words were genuine, serious. He had his hand right between my legs, his palm covering my pussy. It was this act of ownership, and it made me feel good.
I didn’t feel like a piece of property to Dillon, not with the way he held me, and not with the words he spoke. This was fast, maybe even insane, but it felt right.
I’d come here looking for answers, looking for something that would bring realization and reality into my life. I’d hoped I’d find that with Dillon, and that my instincts hadn’t been wrong in thinking we were two of the same.
I shifted on the bed so I could face him. He had this intense look on his face, but I’d come to realize that was just Dillon. He was hard in all ways, closed off from his emotions after whatever he’d gone through. I felt the product of his desire for me, his cock still so hard, so big. We might have just had sex, but it seemed like he was still ready for me, still needing me.
But when I shifted closer, he placed a hand on my neck, not adding pressure but stopping me, being proprietary.
“Do you want this?” he asked softly.
“I want this,” I said without question. Maybe this was too soon, too deep? But we’d just had sex. Surely being that intimate with a man, hearing the way he spoke about me and the things he wanted with me, meant this wasn’t just about being together physically?
He cupped my cheek and for long seconds said nothing. The feel of his thumb moving along my skin, soft, gentle, told me this man, despite his fierceness, was a gentle giant.
But only to you.
I knew that. I felt it.
I looked at his inner bicep and saw a small black sparrow tattoo. Not thinking, just acting, I lifted my hand and touched that small design.
“What does it mean?”
He was silent for a second. “The freedom I know my brother would want for me, but that I can’t give in to.”
I stared into his face, saw his expression clouded with whatever he was currently thinking about.
Even I could see the symbolism of the darkness of the little bird, of the lack of dimension, life.
“You can have whatever you want.”
His face softened just a fraction, and he leaned in and kissed me. “I have you. That’s all I need.”
I melted against him, and for long seconds I just rested my head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating.
“Can you live with that in a man?”
I didn’t need to elaborate on what he meant. I knew. I tipped my head back and stared into his face once more. “I came here because I saw something in you I saw in myself each and every day.” I placed my hand on his stubble-covered cheek. “I’m not looking to change you. Who you are is what I want. You’re who I want.” I went back to resting my head on his chest, and we stayed like that, not speaking, just breathing.
Just living.
Dillon
I listened to the sound of Lexi sleeping. I watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Her face was unmarred by the fact she rested, was content and peaceful. She knew she was safe with me. I could sense it, feel it in the way she relaxed against me.
I smoothed my hand down her side, along the dip of her waist, over her hip, and along her ass.
She was mine in all ways.
I wouldn’t let her go.
She’d accept who I was, that I wasn’t the “good guy.” I’d go to hell to protect her, and take anyone with me that thought to hurt her, but I’d never be that knight in shining armor that rode in on a white horse to save the day.
I was more aptly the monster in a horror movie.
I could never submit to my darkness. It just dissolved into background noise because she was in my life.
It was true that with her I felt this calm, this easiness I’d never felt before. But I’d seen too much, in life and in war; I’d never be able to be the man she deserved.
But I’d strive each and every day to make her see, to let her know she was the only thing that mattered to me. Without her in my life I was just walking around with that cloud of hatred and self-loathing hanging over my head.
With her by my side I felt a semblance of being complete. This was fast, maybe even a little on the crazy side, but I lived for that … I’d live for her.
I might not be able to change who I was, but I could make damn sure I gave her a happy life and that she knew she came first. Always.
9
Dillon
One week later
I wanted to keep her here, forgetting about the ugly world just beyond this cabin in the woods. But Lexi needed to come to that realization on her own. She needed to see that what we could have here was all we needed.
I wanted Lexi to know that if she stayed with me, that would be it. There was no going back, no hoping I could change, live the life she’d once led.
I’d never change.
I’d always be possessive of her.
I’d always keep her close.
I drove us down the mountain, the road rocky, uneven. I sensed she was nervous, and reached across the seat to pull her closer. Hell, if I could have had her on my lap, I would have gone that route.
I wanted to ask her if she was sure, if this was what she wanted. But I knew the answer already. I knew she was right here with me.
And fuck, did it feel good.
It was another half hour before we finally reached her place. I stayed in the driver’s seat, letting her lead. This was her call, and she held the power. If she decided she didn’t want the only life I could give
her, I could pretend I’d let that be the final say. But the truth was I couldn’t let her go, ever.
I stayed silent and stared at her, seeing the thoughts moving across her face in an expressive kaleidoscope.
And for the first time in my life, when I knew she could change her mind right here, right now, I felt fear.
Lexi
It smelled the same, a mixture of regret, sadness, but of memories, too.
I’d gotten the courage to get out of the car and go through with this. I stared at the home I’d grown up in, the house where I’d had laughs, scares, and cries. This used to be a home, but now it just felt like a shell: empty, lonely.
I felt Dillon place his hand on my shoulder, and the warmth of it, the stability … the fact that I wasn’t alone, had already told me ten times over that my decision had been the right call.
There was no way I’d ignore how I felt or what I wanted in my life. I firmly believed I’d been put in Dillon’s path—and vice versa—for a reason.
This was where I lived, where I once had my home, but not anymore.
I turned and rose on my toes, placing my lips on Dillon’s. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, making me feel all kinds of comfort and love.
Yes. Love.
I craned my head back and stared into Dillon’s face. He looked conflicted, and I’d even go as far as saying worried.
“This isn’t where my life is anymore.” In that second I saw the change in his expression instantly.
Relief.
“I want my home to be with you, because that’s where I’m meant to be.”
Fast was an understatement on how things had gone with Dillon, but it felt like a missing puzzle piece in my life had been found. He lifted his hand and gently touched the cut on my head from when I fell. I was fine, but I could see on his face it was something small like that that could unravel his hard composure.
“I want you to be sure.” His voice sounded even more hard than normal, pained even.
“I’m sure.” And I was.
