by Nicole Hart
“Me too. I hated that we had to leave so quick but you know how the oilfield is. It don’t stop for nobody.”
“I know,” I said, trying to hide the sadness in my voice. I had a love-hate relationship with the oilfield. I loved that it provided stability to so many people around me. I hated that it took them away from me. I tried to just roll with it now, because I knew it’s just the way it was, but it still bothered me sometimes.
“So, whatcha got going on tonight?” He asked.
“Moon made plans, he won’t tell me what though,” I said.
“That boy’s got it bad,” he said through a laugh.
“What?” I asked. No he didn’t. Did he?
“Angel, don’t you see the way he looks at you? That boy loves you,” he said.
“I don’t know about all that, Daddy,” I said. “We’re not that serious.”
“You keep telling yourself that,” he said. That was the exact same thing Moon said to me last night.
“Dad, I gotta finish getting ready. He’s gonna be here in a minute.” I wasn’t ready for this conversation. So I did what I do best, I avoided it.
“Alright, sweetie. But hey, listen. Take it from me; don’t walk away from something that’s good for you just because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared of anything.” I lied.
“Angel, don’t forget who you’re talking to,” he said.
“Love you, daddy,” I said, trying to push the lump in my throat away. Are you fucking kidding me? What was wrong with me? I didn’t cry; I sure as hell wasn’t starting now.
“Love you too, sweetie. I’ll call you in a couple of days.”
“Ok bye,” I said, and ended the call before I lost my shit.
I put my phone down, walked to my bathroom and tried to get myself together. My dad was right. I was scared. I didn’t want to be. But I wanted to protect myself. I couldn’t handle going through what he did. He loved that bitch more than anything and she left. He was devastated. I was just a kid, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew he was hurt. And his pain lasted for years, even though he tried to hide it. I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t as strong as he was. It took him fifteen years to move on after what she did, it would take me a lifetime. But the truth was I would already be hurt if he left me. I was attached to Moon, whether I wanted to admit it or not. The thought of him walking away almost made me sick.
I was touching up my make up when I heard a knock at the door. I waited to hear it open but it didn’t. Moon always just came right in, it was what we did. I stopped and listened for footsteps. Nothing. Then another knock. So I walked to the front door and opened it.
“What are you doing, you never kn…” I was frozen. He was beautiful standing there.
He had on his boots and fitted jeans, which of course I loved. Then a white v-neck fitted t-shirt that showcased that amazing body of his. You could see his huge tattoo peeking through the neck of his shirt and out of the sleeve. He had worked on that piece for months. It was a tribal design that covered his left peck and went over his shoulder down to his bicep. It was perfect, just like Moon. As my eyes scanned those sexy ass arms of his, I saw it. He was holding a single white rose in his hand. He had that perfect cocky little smile on his face and gave me a wink, with those icy blue eyes that made my knees weak. Fuck, I might as well go ahead and pick up twenty fucking cats. Because when this ended, I would be done. No one could compare to him, so I was destined to become the old cat lady. Seriously. But right this minute, I would accept that fate, because all I wanted to do was kiss him.
I didn’t even finish my sentence; I just wrapped my arms around him and put my lips to his. It took a second but Moon did the same and squeezed me tight.
Chapter 4
Moon
“Damn,” I said when she pulled her lips away from me. “I’m gonna knock more often.”
“Come in,” she said, as she grabbed me by the hand and led me inside. It was times like this when she fucked with my head the most. When she was affectionate without being naked. She fucking almost gave me whiplash sometimes. But I didn’t care; I loved her too much to care.
“For you ma’am,” I said, as I handed her the rose I just picked up from the flower shop.
“Thank you,” she said quietly, and took the flower out of my hand. She put it to her nose as she walked over to the bar and stuck it in the vase with the first one. So far so good. Maybe the old man was right. But I wasn’t getting too excited. I just never knew with Sam, she could flip the switch in a second and shut me out. My dad always told me to never try and figure women out, because it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t kidding; Sam was a complete mind fuck sometimes.
“You ready to go woman?” I said, as I stood beside her and squeezed her ass.
“Yeah, let me grab my purse,” she said, and walked into the living room.
“You’re suitcase, you mean,” I said. That thing was huge; I don’t know what she could possibly keep in it.
“It’s not that big,” she said with a little laugh, as she slung it over her arm. She was so tiny; I’m surprised it didn’t knock her sideways when she carried it.
“Ok,” I said with a laugh, as I opened the front door and waved my arm for her to go ahead of me.
When we got in the truck, Sam started to buckle her seatbelt. I patted the middle and nodded my head. She scooted over close to me without hesitation. Yes, this is what I fucking wanted. I was just hoping it lasted, for tonight anyways. I had my left hand on the steering wheel and my right on my knee when Sam did something that really shocked me. She reached over, grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers. For some people, that might not be a big thing. For us, this was huge. She rarely held my hand and she sure as hell never initiated it. What the fuck? I squeezed her hand and she did the same. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but it was. For us, it was. Shit, she was definitely turning me into a fucking pansy. I’m getting excited because she was holding my hand. What was I, a fucking thirteen year old girl? But I couldn’t help it. I raised our hands and put my lips to hers. She tensed up for just a second but then I felt her relax. She had to see how much I loved her. How much I needed her to love me back.
“Wait a minute,” Sam said, as she took in her surroundings. “Are we going to The Patch?” She asked.
“Maybe.” I said.
“Do you think people go out there anymore?”
“I don’t know, but it’s Sunday night so I’m sure no one will be there.” The truth is I had gone out there more than once and just sat. Sometimes there were empty beer cans lying around, so I’m sure kids still went out there. But every time I had driven there, it was empty. Granted it was never on the weekend, but I was pretty sure it was a safe bet we would be alone. This field had a lot of memories. It was where I realized I loved her. And maybe it was just high school love back then, I don’t know. And it definitely got more intense as the years went by, but this place is where it really started.
“Wow, I haven’t seen this place in years,” Sam said, as I parked my truck. I watched her eyes scan our surroundings. She had a smile that made my stomach do flips. To anyone else, this place was just a field. It was just a few acres of trees that sloped down to a little creek. But for us, it was full of memories.
“Come on,” I said, as I opened the driver’s side door and hopped out. Sam followed right behind me. She watched as I walked to the bed of the truck and opened the tailgate. I jumped in the back and unfolded the blanket I had tucked behind the cooler. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and could see her wheels turning. Fear crept up on me; I knew what she was thinking. This is what couples do. But I had my keys and we were out in the middle of nowhere. She wasn’t running from me, not this time. I was tired of her running every time she thought we were moving forward. I don’t know why she was so scared to actually be in a real relationship with me, but she was going to have to get over that shit. I was done letting her make all the decisions when it came to us. I was done letti
ng her avoid what we were. This shit had gone on long enough.
“What are you doing?” Sam asked suspiciously.
“I’m unfolding a blanket,” I said, knowing that’s not what she meant. “Come on,” I said as I held out my hand to help her up. She stared at me for a few seconds and then put her hand in mine. When we were both standing in the bed of the truck, I sat down on the blanket and patted the spot next to me.
“Sit.” I said.
Sam sat beside me, but was still eying me with suspicion.
“Damn girl. You can quit staring daggers through me at any time.” I said with a laugh. Sam blinked a couple of times and then the wrinkle in her forehead relaxed a little. But she was still thinking.
“Out with it.” I said. I was ready for whatever she had to say. That’s not true. But I was ready to argue with whatever she had to say.
“Why are you doing this?” She asked.
Because I fucking love you.
“What? It’s a nice night. I like it out here. Relax,” I said, as I opened the cooler and pulled two beers out. I opened one and handed it to her. When she took it out of my hand, I opened my own and took a long swig.
“Moon, you know what I mean,” she said, and then took a drink of her beer.
“Because I want to talk to you. You can’t fucking run from me out here. It’s a long walk back home, darlin.”
“You’re an asshole!” She said with half a smile, I’m not sure she was joking.
“Listen, this thing we’ve been doing has been so fucking good, Sam. But I can’t do it anymore.”
“What?” She said. Her voice sounded pissed but her eyes were full of hurt. Shit, I realized how it sounded. How is it that I’ve gone over this speech a million times in my head and I still manage to fuck it up right out of the gate?
“That’s not what I meant,” I said with a little laugh. Not because it was funny, but because I was nervous as shit and I was fucking it up by the second.
“Just fucking say it Moon, don’t beat around the bush!” Sam snapped. Maybe her eyes were wrong; maybe she was just plain pissed.
“Sam, calm down and just listen to me,” I said, still smiling. But she wasn’t. Not even a little. She had her eyes fixed on the trees, she was shutting down. Fuck that. She was going to hear me out, whether she liked it or not.
“Look at me.” I said firmly. She didn’t.
“Look. At. Me.” I repeated. She glared into my eyes. I put my beer down as I exhaled, and then scooted as close to her as I could get. I put my hands on both sides of her face and stroked her cheeks with my thumbs. I gave her a gentle kiss that she didn’t reciprocate. So I did it again. Gently. Waiting for her to respond. She didn’t.
“You’re so fucking stubborn,” I said quietly, and kissed her again. Her lips responded, slightly. So I kissed her again. She responded this time. But I could feel her trembling. I kissed her once more and pulled away. I took her beer out of her hands and set it to the side. I grabbed her hands and squeezed them.
“That came out wrong. If you would let me explain myself before you get all pissed.” She didn’t respond; she was just staring at our hands.
“I need you to look at me,” I said, and waited until she did. The look on her face said it all. She was worried and she was hurt. Does it make me a complete asshole to admit that made me a little happy? I didn’t want her hurting, but at least it showed that she cared about what happened with us. She wanted this as much as I did, she just didn’t want to admit it.
“What I can’t do anymore is just pretend we’re fuck buddies. You know it as much as I do that it’s more than that.”
“But…” Sam tried to interrupt me.
“Sshh,” I said, and put my index finger over her lips. “I need to say this.”
“You’re always so hot and cold with me. When I asked you to start dating, you ran. But you came back. We spent the holidays together but you shut me out right after. I don’t understand it. But I’ve always just dealt with it. Because I didn’t want to mess up what we had. I didn’t want to lose you, even if all I got was sex. Don’t get me wrong, sex with you blows my fucking mind, but I want more. When this first started, that was enough, but it’s not anymore.”
“What if I tell you I can’t give you more?” She said, but I knew she didn’t mean it; she didn’t want to mean it.
“I’d tell you that you were lying to both of us,” I said, as I brushed my lips across hers.
She didn’t say a word; she just shook her head yes as she grabbed my shirt and pulled me on top of her. It wasn’t the response I was hoping for, but I wasn’t going to push her too hard. I put my feelings out there, some of them at least. I knew I would have to tell her everything soon, but for tonight this was enough. She didn’t take off running through the woods, so I had to be thankful for that. And she felt so good underneath me, I just wanted her closer.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I said, as I looked into her eyes. She didn’t respond with words. She started kissing my neck and my dick immediately got hard. I gently grabbed a fist full of her hair and bit her ear lobe. The sweet little sound that came out of her mouth flipped my switch. I needed her. Now. My fingers went straight to Sam’s zipper and I gave it a quick tug. I immediately felt the heat coming off that perfect pussy. My pussy. All mine.
“No panties. Good girl.” I whispered in her ear, as I started to pull her jeans down.
Chapter 5
Sam
The stars were out and the air was getting chilly fast. Moon covered my shoulders with one of the blankets he brought along and snuggled against my back. At this moment, I felt so content. But just an hour ago, I thought my whole fucking world was about to come crashing down. I completely misunderstood what he was trying to say. I immediately thought he was ending things, and it scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t keep pretending that I didn’t want him, that I didn’t need him. I had to be honest. For my own fucking sanity, I had to. I couldn’t use my fear as an excuse anymore. I was still scared to death that he would eventually walk away, but I had to give this a chance. Because losing him in the end couldn’t be any worse than never trying for a beginning. A real beginning. This whole time neither of us had really been honest about our feelings. Moon had the courage to finally tell me how he felt. It was my turn. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I had to give it a try.
“I’m sorry.” I said quietly.
“Sorry, for what darlin?’” Moon said, as he kissed my shoulder.
“For playing head games with you,” I said.
“What do you mean?” He asked, as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm.
“Pretending like I didn’t want more. I didn’t...it’s just hard I guess.” I was tongue tied. I didn’t know how to explain myself.
“I think we’re both guilty of that.”
“No, I shut you out. I panicked when I started developing real feelings for you. I was scared.”
He flipped me over on my back and hovered over me as he stared into my eyes.
“Sam Montgomery, I’ve known you for 18 years and I’ve never known you to be scared.”
“I’ve got a good poker face,” I said, and couldn’t help but smile a little.
“You really do, because you’ve always had me fooled.” he said with a perfect smile, and grazed his hand over my cheek.
“I’m still scared.” I said quietly, with my eyes closed. I couldn’t look at him and admit that. As soon as the words left my mouth, he kissed me gently.
“What are you scared of?” He whispered, with his forehead pressed against mine.
I couldn’t say it out loud, so I just shook my head, hoping he didn’t push for an answer.
“Don’t be scared.” He whispered against my lips. “Please, don’t be scared.”
His tenderness melted my defenses. I wanted him and I wasn’t going to deny it anymore. I felt like a huge weight was just lifted off my shoulders. I was going to do this. There was no going back. I needed him, an
d couldn’t let fear stand in my way. All I could do was hope he didn’t shatter my fucking world in the process. But I had known Moon practically my whole life and he had never hurt me. Granted, we had never gone this far, but I had to trust him. I had to.
I put my arms around him and scratched my nails gently down his back. I still didn’t open my eyes. I was scared that if I looked at him I would cry, and I wasn’t going to let that happen. It was true, I did have a pretty good poker face and for the most part I could handle anything. But it was different with Moon; he was chipping away at the wall I built around me. And if he kept talking to me this way, the whole fucking thing was going to crumble.
“Ok.” I whispered. I couldn’t say anything else. I wanted to say so much, but I wasn’t ready. Not yet.
“I need you to trust me.” Moon whispered in my ear. Another piece of that wall tumbled to the ground. Because that was just it, I had a hard time trusting and he knew that without me even saying it. All I could do was shake my head.
“Believe me; I’ve wanted this for too long to fuck it up.” He said with a smile. And I believed him; I know he would never hurt me on purpose.
I squeezed my arms around him and couldn’t help but shiver a little.
“Are you cold?” He asked through a laugh.
“Fucking freezing,” I said, and squeezed him harder. I don’t know if it was my nerves or the weather, but my teeth started to chatter.
“Let’s get you in the heat, woman,” he said, as he sat up. He was still naked and I couldn’t help but stare at the perfection in front of me. Everything about him was sexy. So fucking hot.
“You keep looking at me like that and I’ll find a different way to warm you up.”
