“That’s what one of the nurses told me. It’s going to take time.” She let out a loud sigh. “I just wish I knew how long.”
“Don’t give up, Kate.” Joel looked intently in her eyes. “That’s what they’re probably waiting for. They assume you’ll give up and walk away. So don’t give anyone that satisfaction. I reckon all the organization you’re doing at the hospital for the fun run will help heaps too. Once they see you’re involved in the community, it will make a big difference. Trust me. And try not to be so paranoid. Once they know you they’ll love you.”
“I hope you’re right.” Kate sighed again.
Out of the corner of her eye, Kate caught another look from the blonde behind the counter.
“What’s with her?” Kate asked quietly, indicating with a nod of her head in the girl’s direction. She immediately forgot her reason for coming to see Joel. “I don’t even know her and she’s giving me the cold shoulder treatment. Am I imagining it?”
Once again the paranoia was returning. Doesn’t anyone like me?
“She’s just being overly protective of me, that’s all.”
Confused, Kate raised her eyebrows, looking at Joel with a silent question.
“Oh, jeez love, haven’t I introduced you yet? That’s Emma.”
His sister!
Relief flooded through her.
All the times she’d seen them together in the café she’d thought they were a couple! Her face burned with embarrassment. He rarely mentioned his family and she’d forgotten about Emma. Since the first time they’d run together, they’d both avoided any deep personal discussions. She hadn’t mentioned Marcus and he hadn’t probed any further about what had brought her to Birrangulla. When they ran they usually just chatted about their day or their favorite books and movies. Sometimes she shared funny stories from work. Their conversations were light, and sure, sometimes they’d flirted a little with each other, but it was never more than just friendly banter. She would have been devastated if he’d been flirting with her and he had a girlfriend.
“Clearly she’s forgotten the story Mum read to us as children – the one where the boy made faces and when the wind changed …” He didn’t finish his sentence as Emma made her way over to their table with their coffees in hand.
She placed them on the table but before she could turn around to return to the coffee machine, Joel grabbed her gently by her wrist.
“Emma, this is my friend Kate I was telling you about. The one I go running with.”
“Hi Emma.” Kate smiled warmly, sitting forward in her chair and turning to face her. “Thanks for making the coffees.”
“You’re welcome.” Her reply was clipped, her polite words not matching the look in her eyes. Kate noted she didn’t have the same strong accent as Joel and she commented on this fact, trying to form some sort of connection with her.
“I was only six when we came out from Ireland. I’m the baby of the family. But I’m sure Joel’s already told you that,” Emma replied.
“He told me he had a sister, but I didn’t realize it was you until just now,” Kate said, hoping she sounded warm and friendly.
“So, what else has Joel told you?” Emma asked, hands on hips, her face dark.
Kate was shocked with the anger she saw in the other woman’s face. Her usually pretty features were scrunched up in disgust. Why? Kate had simply come in to rope Joel into helping her train for the fun run. So why was she getting this type of response from a woman she had only just met?
Emma crossed her arms and glared at her brother.
Okay, so it’s not just me she’s cranky with.
“Has he told you about Rebecca?”
“Emma.” Joel’s voice was quiet but his warning tone told a different story.
Kate watched as his blue eyes clouded over and his face flushed. She had never seen him look this way. He was usually always smiling and his face was like an open book – easy to read. The man in front of her looked closed off and distant.
“No. He hasn’t mentioned Rebecca.” Kate tried to keep her voice even. She looked Emma straight in the eyes, trying to remain calm as she answered the question and ignored Joel’s reaction. Her stomach was churning.
“Well perhaps you should ask him before you keep spending so much time together.” Emma continued her petulant stance, moving her hands back to her hips and glaring at her brother.
Kate frowned. “Emma, I think you might have the wrong idea about Joel and me. We’re just friends.”
Kate tried to ignore the attitude Emma was displaying toward her, but she was more than perplexed. Who is Rebecca and why has Joel never mentioned her?
Turning from Emma, Kate looked directly at Joel, her eyebrows knitted together with a mixture of confusion and hurt. She was pretty certain friends would mention if they were in a relationship. When he didn’t reply, everything within her wanted to push her chair away and stand up and yell at him like a sugar-filled toddler having a tantrum. Instead she took a deep breath and dug her nails deep into the palms of her hands as she fought for control of her emotions. When she spoke it was in a voice laced with indignation.
“You didn’t tell me you had a partner.”
The smile had gone from Joel’s eyes and it was replaced by something Kate still didn’t recognize.
“I don’t.”
Thick silence followed his words, heavy with Kate’s shock. By now Kate was totally baffled but didn’t know what to say. She felt like she was stepping on hot coals ignited by the sparks flying through the air between brother and sister. The air felt as though there wasn’t enough oxygen for the three of them. She had no idea what was going on.
“I think perhaps I should go. Thanks for the coffee.”
Kate rifled through her wallet and took out a five-dollar note. She banged it down on the table next to her untouched drink and stood up. Swinging her bag onto her shoulder she left the café without looking back. For someone who hated confrontation and disliked causing a scene, she would have been given full marks for her effort. If there had been a door to slam on her exit, Kate would have slammed it hard. She took fast, angry steps down the laneway, as her breath came in labored rasps. I’m such an idiot!
She couldn’t believe she’d been starting to have feelings for Joel, then in one moment, with one word, it had all come crashing down around her.
Rebecca.
It looked like Joel was no different to Marcus after all. Another man not to be trusted.
As she was returning to her car, Kate heard her name being called. Knowing it would be rude to pretend she hadn’t heard, she waited until Joel caught up to her. Getting behind the wheel, Kate turned the key in the ignition and strapped on her seatbelt. She stared straight ahead, unseeing, and didn’t turn to look at Joel. She had nothing to say to him. He squatted beside the car on the curb and leaned his arms against the passenger side door while he waited for her to wind down the window. Eventually she jammed her finger on the button that opened the window.
“Kate, I think we need to talk.”
“I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s best if we don’t talk. And I don’t think we should see each other again either,” she retorted, glaring at him.
“No Kate. You’ve got it all wrong. Please, will you let me explain?” Joel asked. Even the gentle lilt of his accent did nothing to appease her anger.
“I don’t know that there’s much for you to explain, Joel. But perhaps I should explain something to you. I should have told you this when I first met you. I moved here because I had just walked out on a three-year relationship. Turns out we held different ideas regarding the future of our relationship. I left him when I found out he was having an affair with another woman.” Kate glared at Joel, aware that she had shocked him with her words. “Right now, I feel like I’m the other woman, and to be quite honest it makes me feel sick.”
“Oh Kate. I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
She heard his remorse but her resentment remained.
<
br /> “Of course you had no bloody idea because I didn’t want anyone to know! I moved to Birrangulla to get on with my life. And now I’m stuck here in this job that I love surrounded by people who seem to hate me. I haven’t made a single friend in the whole town except you. And now I don’t even have you!” Even as the words came out, she knew she must sound pathetic to him.
Joel opened the passenger side door without asking her permission and folded himself into the small space beside her. He waited, without speaking, as Kate tried to compose herself.
“Kate, would you let me take you out to dinner tonight and explain?”
She turned and looked at him, her eyes narrowing with disbelief.
“No! Of course you can’t.” Kate was flabbergasted. “What would Rebecca think?”
His eyes were as flat as the ocean on a totally still day when he replied.
“Rebecca is dead.”
*
A few hours later Kate rifled through the box of clothes she’d placed at the top of her wardrobe when arriving at the farm. They were the clothes she had worn regularly on dates out with Marcus and his friends in the city but until this point she had had no reason to use them, and had stuffed them out of reach and view. Eventually finding what she was looking for, she pulled the black dress over her head and smoothed the skirt over her slim hips, staring at herself in the mirror. The dress was made of expensive material. It clung to her figure and she smiled at her own reflection. She knew it was flattering. Adjusting the cowl neckline of the dress to maximize her cleavage if she bent over, she took another look in the long mirror and sighed, her shoulders slumping in frustration.
Joel’s words echoed in her mind. Rebecca is dead. She sighed again and flopped down onto her bed. Here she was, getting excited about dressing up and going out for dinner with a man whose girlfriend was dead! Not only did it seem inappropriate to be going on a date, if that’s what this dinner was to be called, now she felt ridiculously overdressed. Nevertheless, she slid her feet into black leather high-heeled shoes and appraised herself again. Kate knew she looked great but something still didn’t feel right.
What if he’s just taking me to the local pub for a counter meal?
“What do people wear out to dinner in the country?” she said out loud in frustration. Matilda blinked at her and then went back to washing herself.
Rummaging through the clothes in her wardrobe again, Kate suddenly remembered she had recently purchased a new dress that she hadn’t yet had the chance to wear. Pulling the navy dress off its hanger, she buttoned it up and tied the thin leather belt around her waist. The dress came to her knees and she teamed it with a pair of boots and a funky, colorful beaded necklace. As she looked at her more casual reflection she smiled. Much better. She squared her shoulders, feeling much more confident. Now at least if they went to the local pub she wouldn’t stand out in the crowd by being overdressed and it wouldn’t look like she was trying too hard to think of the evening as an actual date.
Kate saw the headlights of Joel’s car coming down the driveway and she switched on the outside light. Not knowing whether to wait for him to come to the door or meet him on the veranda, she opted for staying inside in the warmth of her small house. She heard the noisy engine being shut off, and shortly afterward Joel knocked, the sound of brass against brass echoing loudly in the hallway. Opening the door, Kate was certain it was going to be an awkward greeting after their conversation earlier that day, but his usual trademark grin was in place.
“Eh, love. You look nice.”
“So do you.”
Joel’s brown hair was freshly washed and still damp, making the collar of his shirt wet. He smelled of soap and shampoo. He was clean-shaven and although she was used to seeing him with stubble, Kate liked how it looked. His pale blue shirt was unbuttoned at the throat and she saw a hint of dark curly chest hair. The shirt was loosely tucked into his camel-colored jeans, which fitted tightly around his long legs, and a leather belt matched dark brown suede shoes that looked brand new. Kate wanted to praise him further on how nice he looked, but didn’t know what to say without sounding like she wanted another compliment in return.
Joel broke the slightly awkward silence. “Remind me to come back here in the daylight. I’ll bet this place is really cute.”
“It’s a bit rundown, but I love it,” Kate replied.
“I saw a name on the gate but couldn’t make it out. What does it say?”
“Cooinda.”
“What language is that?”
“Aboriginal.”
Joel chuckled. “Yeah, but which one?”
“What do you mean?” Kate’s brows furrowed. “Is there more than one?”
“How long have you lived in this country?” Joel asked, his face serious. “Didn’t you do Aboriginal studies at school?”
“I took Australian history,” Kate replied somewhat defensively.
“And you didn’t learn about the whole first fleet and the invasion of the white people and all that?”
“Well yeah,” Kate conceded, “but I don’t remember learning that there was more than one Aboriginal language. Or maybe I’ve just forgotten.”
Joel shook his head. “Well don’t quote me because I probably saw it somewhere on the net, but I remember reading that there were two hundred and fifty languages before the English came, and today only about sixty remain.”
“Oh wow. I had no idea. Well I’m definitely going to have to find out what the name means now,” she replied. “Here, come in while I grab my coat.”
Kate closed the front door behind him and Joel followed her down the narrow hallway toward the back of the house.
“So what does it mean?”
“Oh. Well I was told it means ‘happy place,’ and whether it’s an Aboriginal word or not, I like it,” Kate replied. “I think it suits the property.”
“So do I.”
She watched as Joel looked around him with interest, commenting as he walked past her lounge room, “Kate, you’ve got an incredible knack for decorating. This place looks amazing. And so relaxing.”
Kate flushed with pleasure and was about to reply when Matilda made her appearance. Her usually snobby cat allowed Joel to pick her up, which surprised Kate. The cat generally took her time to warm to strangers.
“Hullo, you.” He held the cat up to his face, her four legs dangling in the air. “Aren’t you cute?”
“This is Tilly.”
“Tilly. Bet it’s short for Matilda.” He drew the cat to his chest and she began to purr. Traitor!
“Yes. When she was a kitten she used to jump and waltz around the place and so Matilda seemed the perfect name.”
Kate finished buttoning her powder-blue knee-length coat and she saw the look Joel gave her. She knew the coat made her eyes stand out.
“I’d like to say you look cute too, but that’s probably a bit cliché isn’t it?” Joel smiled and a slight awkwardness returned between them.
The dimples appeared in his cheeks and her heart beat a little faster. He really was incredibly good-looking.
Kate tried to stop the direction her thoughts were headed. Her emotions were all over the place when it came to this man. She reminded herself that they were just friends. Nothing more.
And there was still the issue of Rebecca.
Not answering his question but blushing at the compliment, Kate headed toward the front door.
“So, where are you taking me for dinner?”
Chapter 17
Twenty minutes later they were seated at the Crowded House restaurant and white napkins had been placed on their laps. Small candles burned on each table and the classical music that was playing was soft and unobtrusive. After perusing the menu, Kate ordered a glass of the house wine while Joel chose a lemon lime and bitters. Kate chose the fish for her main meal while Joel picked the pork belly. After the waitress had finished with their order and left them alone, they engaged in the usual small talk.
Eventually K
ate sipped her wine, took a deep breath and plunged in.
“Tell me about Rebecca,” she said softly.
Joel held his glass in his hand but didn’t take a drink from it. He looked down at the liquid and didn’t answer for a moment. Kate wanted to see his eyes but they remained downcast. Finally he spoke, his voice cracking slightly.
“Rebecca was my fiancée. She was killed in a hit and run by a drunk driver.”
Kate felt like the air had been sucked from her lungs.
“Oh my god, Joel, that’s awful.”
She hadn’t expected this.
He continued softly, “She and her friends had come up from Melbourne the week before the wedding. We were going to be married up here. The girls were all out celebrating Beck’s hens’ night. They were walking home from the pub when the driver swerved across the road and hit the whole group. Two girls were taken to hospital with broken bones, but Beck was killed instantly.” He finally lifted his head and stared into her eyes as though begging her to understand. “You’ve probably seen the cross on the side of the road near your place.”
Kate nodded, not trusting herself to speak. That explained why there were often fresh flowers placed there. Poor Joel.
“The driver took off, but Emma recognized the car. The police picked the guy up the next morning. He was passed out asleep, still in his car out the front of his house. He claimed he thought he’d run over a kangaroo and that’s why he didn’t stop.”
Kate shook her head in shock. Her eyes threatened to fill with tears. She had so many questions running through her mind but didn’t know whether it was appropriate to ask them. Finally she spoke.
“How long were you together?”
“Just over eighteen months. We met when I was living in Melbourne. I was catching up with some of the guys I went to university with and Rebecca tagged along with one of their girlfriends. We were inseparable from the moment we met, and got engaged a year later. She died the week before our wedding. That was almost three years ago, coming up in November.”
Kate swallowed and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not knowing what else to say. She was worried that whatever she said would come out sounding awkward and not offer the comfort she wanted to show him. In the end she opted for her usual honest approach. She reached across the table and placed her hand on his forearm, feeling the warmth of his skin through the thin shirt.
Intensive Care: Escape to the Country Page 13
