by Stacy M Wray
We hold each other’s stare for so long before he finally says, “You didn’t show.”
I swallow my nerves and answer, “I wasn’t quite ready.”
He nods, like he understands this. Forcing his gaze from me, he looks up the river and takes in its beauty. “I remember you brought me here the first day I met you.”
He looks down at me again and when I don’t say anything, he continues, “Knowing what this place represented to you, it meant the world to me. It was at that moment I knew I had a shot with you.”
He leans over and puts his forearms against the wooden windowsill. He drops his head, staring at the smooth water gushing underneath the bridge. “Do I?”
I scrunch my nose, not understanding. Finally, being forced to speak, I answer, “Do you what?”
He slowly brings his eyes to mine and what I see nearly breaks me. “Have a shot?”
The silence that follows his question is deafening. Are we really going to do this here? Knowing he needs an answer, I say, “Maybe.”
Seeing a glimmer of hope across his face, he says, “I’ll take a maybe.” He gives me a half-grin and cautiously asks, “Can I come down there?” All of a sudden, his beauty hits me, leaving a warm sensation that battles what I’m receiving from the heat of the afternoon sun.
“Ok.”
The footsteps reverberate in their haste to get off the bridge and join me on the rocks. I keep my eyes on the water and don’t look at him until he’s settled in beside my on an even larger rock.
“Hi.”
I smile at this. “Hi.”
“You sure this is okay? I didn’t know what to do when you didn’t show up…my truck just sort of brought me here…”
“Yeah, it’s okay. I think I’m ready now.”
Several seconds pass before I hear the smooth sound of his voice again. “Addie, I owe you such a huge apology, on so many levels.” He looks over at me and I can still see the love he has for me in his eyes.
I stop him from continuing. “Trey, I messed this up just as much. I have so much to tell you about my past that I never got the chance to and - ”
“I already know about your husband, Rex, Addie. I know about the accident and that he was on life support…I know now why you fled in the middle of the night.”
I’m so shocked to hear him confess this. “How?” is all I manage to get out before he continues.
“Well, when I found out you took my phone by mistake, I tracked you down with the ‘find my phone’ app on my computer. You can imagine how shocked I was to find out you were married. Shocked and hurt. I didn’t handle it very well, Addie.”
I nod, knowing how horrible that must have been. “I’m so sorry, Trey. I thought I had more time to tell you everything. We were just getting to know each other again and I didn’t know when to bring it up. You must have thought I was a heartless bitch being with you when my husband lie there in the hospital.”
“Well, maybe at first,” he confesses. “But Luke filled me in a little with the backstory - ”
“Luke? How does Luke know anything?” I ask, completely taken back by his comment.
He gives me a knowing smile. “I guess Luke ran into your mom and they had quite a chat.”
I should’ve known she had her hand in this. I’m not really sure how I feel about it but I know she means well.
He sees the understanding on my face so he continues. “Addie…I feel horrible that you had to go through that and I wasn’t there for you.”
He takes my hand and holds it between both of his. “And then when you came back and saw Amanda and me…God, Addie, I’m so sorry about that too.”
He takes a hand and runs it through his hair in frustration, and I get a sinking feeling this is about to take a turn for the worse. He’s putting off an unsettling vibe.
“What, Trey?”
He takes a breath and exhales slowly. “Addie, I was so pissed and hurt after I found out you were married. I went drinking with Luke, but Amanda came into the bar and well…I ended up going home with her.”
Yanking my hand out of his, I feel like I’m going to be sick when I hear those words. It’s the last thing that I want to hear, and I fight back the tears that are threatening to appear at any moment. Trey must see the horror on my face and he immediately continues, “No, Addie, it didn’t get that far!”
I swallow slowly and ask, “You didn’t sleep with her?”
He hangs his head and says, “No, but we messed around a little. I’m so sorry for that. We only - ”
“Please, Trey, spare me the details,” I say, my voice full of hurt and acid.
I stand up and he grabs my arm. “Don’t!” he says sternly.
Due to him holding on to me, I can’t take another step. “I can’t do this, Trey, I just can’t. I can no longer compete with her. It’s obvious that you feel something for her.”
“That’s not true, Addie. She did what Amanda does best, manipulating everything that happened. I’m not making excuses but she knew exactly what she was doing, and I was too drunk to care.”
“Gee, that scenario sure sounds familiar. You’d think you’d have learned by now, Trey. How could you be so stupid?” I know I’m being harsh, but this is déjà vu all over again.
Ignoring my question, he says, “Please, sit back down.” I don’t move, trying to get past this hurt. “Adelyn – please.”
I slowly sit back down but won’t look at him. “Let me finish,” he says. I give him a curt nod.
“I don’t feel anything for her except anger and pity, and that’s the God’s honest truth. She didn’t start coming on to me until you showed back up. All of these years we’ve just been friends.” He pauses to collect his thoughts and then continues, “Luke picked me up that night and I left for home the next day. A couple of days later, I came home from work and she was there waiting for me. I was pissed as hell to see her.
“She followed me inside, trying to manipulate me some more, and what you walked in on was her trying to kiss me but that never happened, Addie.”
He looks at me and reaches up, taking my chin in his hand and turning my face to meet his. “I love you, Addie. I always have and I always will.” And there they go, tears spilling over of their own free will. He immediately wipes them as they fall.
“I want us to be together more than I want my next breath. I know you just lost your husband and this is all so complicated, but I don’t want to spend another second apart.”
“How do I know Amanda won’t come back into the picture like she always does?”
“Because we finally had it out and I told her I could no longer hang out with her socially.”
“And you think she’s just going to accept that?”
He sighs. “She has to, Addie. When it comes down to either her or you, I choose you. No contest.”
I know Trey had a relationship with her son. Even I could see it when I saw them together. “What about her son, Trey?”
“I won’t quit on Jackson. I’m hoping we can come to some kind of understanding. This situation is very complicated. Maybe it would involve you being present…I don’t know. I’m really hoping we can work something out.”
“That’s a helluva lot to ask from me.”
“I know it is, Addie. But I promise to you that I will do everything in my power to make sure there are boundaries that you’re comfortable with. He’s a great kid and he doesn’t deserve to be abandoned by me.”
I really do feel bad for Jackson. Trey’s right; he doesn’t deserve it. This is going to be very hard for me if we decide to do this.
When I don’t say anything, Trey says softly, “I know I have absolutely no right to ask anything of you, Addie. Please give this some thought.”
I nod and we both sit in utter silence except for the wind swaying the tops of the trees, rustling them together, while the river continues its dance along the rocks.
“I’m not trying to change the subject, but I’d like for you to tell me about
Rex, Addie.” This takes me by complete surprise and I just look at him, asking him with my eyes if he’s sure.
“I think I need to hear it if there is any possibility of us moving forward, don’t you?”
I nod and say, “Well, we met after college. I was working at a design firm in Hartford and a co-worker introduced us. I wasn’t all that interested but he pursued me without taking no for an answer, eventually wearing me down. We dated for eight months and then got married. I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t love him like I should have. I never stopped loving you, Trey, and it interfered in my marriage something fierce.”
I hear him suck in a breath when I confess this but I continue on.
“The first few years were comfortable, but then I suspected that he was cheating on me. The sad thing was, I don’t really think I cared all that much. I think he suspected that I didn’t, and that’s when he started making it obvious just to hurt me.”
Trey reaches for my hand again, silently telling me he’s sorry I had to go through that. “But then he started drinking and it got worse and worse. I blamed myself for that for so many years, but my therapist was always quick to point out that he was responsible for his own actions. It took me a long time to come to terms with all of that.
“One day last August he started drinking early in the afternoon and cornered me in the kitchen, blaming me for making him sleep around.” I brace myself for this next part, only having confided in my therapist about it. I have to tell Trey everything if we are to be together. “He grabbed me from behind and told me he was going to take what was his.”
Trey tenses all over and runs both hands through his hair as soon as those words leave my mouth. “Jesus Christ, Addie.”
I quickly move on before I lose my nerve. “When I heard him unzip his pants, I knew I had to get out of - ”
Trey jerks up off the rock, his hands fisted and his jaw as tight as a drum. He turns to look at me with tears in his eyes and says, “Please, God, no.”
I brush the tears that have escaped and shake my head. “It didn’t get that far…I got away.”
He sits back down next to me and takes me in his arms. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Addie.” He kisses my tears and then holds me to him.
Gathering the strength to continue, I tell him, “I made it to my car with my keys and got out of there as fast as I could, only he came after me and never should have been behind the wheel.” I stop, not wanting to replay the scene in my mind.
Trey asks, softly, “He got in the accident while he was chasing you?”
Tears fall down my face as I nod my answer.
Trey grips me even tighter and I fall apart while he whispers reassurances in my ear; promising he will never leave me, how sorry he is and how much he loves me. I feel his love through his words and his embrace. In this instant, I know we can get past all the hurt and pain and somehow make a life together. It may not be easy, but it will be better than being apart; of this I’m certain.
I don’t know how long we stay like this, but when I’m all cried out, I look up at him and he smiles at me, “I love you so much, Addie, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you never hurt like that again.”
He crushes his lips to mine, conveying those words he just spoke to me through that kiss. I believe every word. The familiar tingles build throughout my body, welcoming the heat flowing through me.
When the kiss becomes too heated, we stop, knowing we aren’t going to take this any further out here in the open. When we finally catch our breath, Trey says to me, “So what now?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper back.
We’re quiet with our thoughts once again and he gets a concerned look on his face and asks, “What’s this I hear about you looking for a house in Montpelier?”
Shaking my head, I say, “I don’t know. Trying to make a fresh start, I guess.”
“You didn’t find anything, did you?”
“No, I’ve only looked at a few. Nothing spoke to me,” I confess.
A smile spreads across his face. “Good.”
I smile back and it feels good. “What? You don’t want me in Montpelier?”
A look of forlorn crosses his face. “I don’t want you to be anywhere without me. If your heart is set on Montpelier than I guess I’ll be moving to Montpelier.”
His admission stuns me. “What?”
“I’m not wasting one more day of our future, Addie. I don’t care if it takes me another ten years to win you back, I’ll never give up.”
“But you have your work in Burlington – you love Burlington!”
“I love you more,” he states. “I can build houses anywhere, Addie.”
He kisses me softly and I know he means every word he just spoke. I think we can make this work. I really love this man.
I lean back and look into his eyes and ask, “What if we start out back at the cabin and see how it goes before I plant roots permanently?”
Oh, if I could bottle the look that appears on his face I would. “You mean it, Snowflake?”
A huge smile spreads across my face. “Just as a trial, okay? Let’s see how it goes.”
He strokes my cheek with his hand and says to me, “We’re really going to do this, right?”
I latch onto his hand and tell him, “Yes, we’re really going to do this. I’ll go home and pack up some stuff and I promise I’ll be there this evening.”
We both get up from our rocks, rubbing our butts – not the best place to have this lengthy conversation. He wraps his arms around my waist, bringing his lips to my neck, moving slowly up to my ear.
“It’s going to be right this time, Snowflake. I promise you that,” he says into my ear.
His kisses send chills down my back and I answer, “I hope so, Trey.”
“I promise, baby.”
He takes my hand and we make our way up to the road. He walks me to my car and we stand there beside it.
He pulls me into his arms and whispers in my ear, “I’m having a hard time letting you go.”
“I can see that,” I whisper back.
I start to get in my car and he says, “Wait.” He reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out some tissue paper. Gently unwrapping it, he brings the silver chain out of the paper. My breath hitches as I see what he has. “I had it fixed and thought you might want it back.” He looks at me for my answer.
Me eyes are misty as I focus on my snowflake necklace. “Yes. I would love it back.” I turn and let him drape it around my neck, clasping it in the back. My fingers go to it immediately. “Thank you, Trey. I’m so happy you fixed it.”
“No problem. I like seeing it on you,” he tells me as I get in my car.
He leans in and gives me another quick kiss before I take off to my parents’ house.
As I make the drive, I’m nervous and excited but I know this isn’t going to be all flowery and sweet. There will be plenty of bumps along the way, but I’m confident we can work through them. Hell, we’ve gone through so much and have come back to each other. This time I feel it in my bones that it’s for good.
*****
My bags are packed and I’m waiting for my mom to get home. I hear her car door shut and then hear her come through the front door.
Finding me in the kitchen, the first thing she says is, “ Oh, Addie, I’ve been thinking about you all day. How did your talk go?” She’s searching my face for any hint of my demeanor.
I can’t help it and smile wide, saying, “It went well, Mom. Not at first, but it ended up just fine.”
She walks to me with her arms out and brings me in for a hug. “Oh, I’m so glad, honey. You two deserve to be happy.”
We sit down at the kitchen table. “I’m going to the cabin for a bit…a trial so to speak. We really want to make this work.”
“I know you do, Addie. You’ll only be an hour away and I couldn’t ask for more,” she says, patting my hand. “You want me to call your dad up to the house?”
; “No, don’t bother him. I’ll come visit soon enough.”
“Okay. I’ll just fill him in. Now you better get on with the next chapter in your life. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great one.”
We hug one last time and I grab my bags, throwing them in the back of my car. I wave one last time to my mom and then I’m on my way to Burlington to be with the man that I have loved for so many years, not realizing he felt the same way about me this whole time.
chapter twenty-six
TREY
Getting back to Burlington around one, I drive to the worksite and make the rounds, while Jake fills me in on what I’ve missed. I’m trying so hard to concentrate on what he’s saying, but I’m way too excited about Addie coming to the cabin.
Jake pulls me aside and says, “I have to ask, Trey. Is everything okay with you?”
I can tell he’s not trying to get in my business but is genuinely concerned about me. Trying to assure him, I say, “I know I haven’t been here physically and mentally the past month or so, but I can assure you that everything is fine now. I just had a lot going on in my personal life and I’m really sorry if it affected things around here.”
He shakes his head and says, “No, I’ve got a handle on things. Nothing suffered around here. I was just concerned about you. I take it everything is better?”
I can’t help the huge grin on my face and say, “Yes, much better. And I can’t thank you enough for stepping up when I needed you. There will be a fat bonus in your paycheck for this job. Before you say anything, you deserve it, so don’t say another word.”
He pats me on the back and says, “Thanks, Trey. I appreciate it. Hope you bring her around again, she’s really good for you.” He winks and gets back to work. I think about his words and silently agree with him. Addie is most definitely good for me. She’s everything.
On the way home, I actually stop at the grocery store, not wanting to leave the cabin for anything. We have a lot of catching up to do and we’re going to need sustenance. I throw so much stuff in my cart that we could stay holed up for a month and be good to go.
