by Stacy M Wray
I laugh and say, “Sure. Go get it and we’ll take it to the park for a bit.”
“Okay.” He runs back into the house to get it and there’s an awkward silence between Amanda and me.
He’s back in no time and we’re waving goodbye to his mom.
The best thing about being a kid is they hold no grudges. We just picked up right where we left off and had a blast with his plane.
We talked about school, about sports he might want to play in a couple of years, a girl he had a crush on and how he thinks his mom might have a boyfriend. Interesting.
Realizing how important this is, I vow to make the time to see him as often as I can. I hate the fact that he has no idea who his dad is, and I’m sure he’ll have issues with that in the future. This is why I needed to keep him in my life…he’s got to see that he’s worth my time and my love.
I don’t want to keep my family and Addie waiting so after about an hour, I tell Jackson it’s time for me to take him home, and I promise to not stay away so long from now on. He really is a great kid – I have to give Amanda credit there.
Jackson tells me goodbye and goes into the house. I turn to head for my truck and Amanda yells out, “Trey?” I slowly turn to see what she wants. She looks down before meeting my eyes again. Whatever she was going to say, it seems she has changed her mind and she just says, “Thanks for being there for him.”
I give her a flat smile. “It’s my pleasure. I’ll be in touch,” I tell her and get in my truck.
Driving back toward my parents’ house, I can’t wait to see Addie and get her back home - I have this overwhelming need to make love to my finance.
*****
After getting Addie, we head back to our cabin with me telling her all about my visit with Jackson. I’m so pleased to find that she really is okay with me seeing him again, and I can’t thank her enough for making that happen.
As soon as I get her in the door, I’ve got her pinned up against the wall, kissing her like I’m a man on a mission – to get her into bed and show her how much I love her.
Coming up for breath, she says, “Well, Mr. Masterson, I see someone has something on his mind. Care to share?”
“I most definitely care to share, Ms. Winters-soon-to-be-Mrs. Masterson.”
“That’s quite a mouthful, Mr. Masterson,” she says in her sexy voice.
I kiss her neck down to her collarbone and say, “Do you really want to go there, Addie?”
Her eyes are full of desire and she answers me, “Oh, yes, Trey, I really want to go there.”
She squeals with delight when I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder, trying not to knock her into the wall as I make my way to the bedroom.
I throw her on the bed and say to her, “Clothes off, Addie. Now!” And that’s all it takes.
*****
It’s about midnight and Addie is asleep beside me, the moonlight reflecting off her snowflake necklace. I reach over and hold it between my fingers, remembering how much she loved it when she opened it that one Christmas all those years ago in the cab of my truck.
When I picked it out for her, I admit that I did it for one significant reason: it was the nickname I had given her. She later informed me of the meaning behind the intricately shaped wonder and how it forms. I remember being intrigued by her explanation.
She said that a snowflake is formed when an extremely cold water droplet freezes onto a dust particle in the sky. She found this very symbolic of us; me being the water and her being the particle of dust, floating around in the sky waiting on me to latch on to her and form a crystal bond that can never be broken. At first I thought this was a little silly but after thinking about it, I thought it was a pretty cool theory.
The six arms of a snowflake form on its descent to the ground, and I remember Addie joking that we make up two and maybe the other four arms are our children. I guess time will tell.
All I know is that I am forever grateful that we did collide and forever held on to a connection that finally brought us back together.
Realizing that our class reunion played a pivotal role in our reconciliation, I feel so much gratitude toward the individual who came up with the idea that we should all meet again years later. I will never shun another tradition for as long as I live, and I’m so happy that Addie and I will be attending the next one as husband and wife.
chapter twenty-nine
ADELYN
Driving down the highway on this hot, humid August day brings a myriad of thoughts and emotions as I attempt to put this nagging culpability to rest once and for all. Everything seems to be lining up in my life now that Trey and I are to be married and have our first child, so why can’t I accept all the euphoria that comes with my situation?
Trey offered to make the trip with me, and as much as I appreciated the gesture, this was something I needed to do on my own. He understood but was concerned with me making the long drive being six months pregnant. After promising to be extra-vigilant of asshole drivers, he agreed it would probably he helpful with my healing.
Pulling into the cemetery, I concentrate on remembering where his headstone is located. After a couple of wrong turns, I finally stumble upon it and park my car alongside the narrow drive. Grabbing the flowers off the passenger seat that I purchased along the way, I make my way to the perfectly manicured gravesite.
Grateful that there aren’t any other mourners nearby, I gently place the orange lilies on the ledge of the black, granite block that towers over the bed of grass. I look at the date inscribed in the sparkly rock in front of me and can hardly believe it’s been a year since Rex was laid to rest – two years since the accident. It hardly seems possible that much time has passed.
Trying to find a position that is comfortable for my protruding belly, I gather my thoughts before attempting to explain to him the reason for my visit. I have to believe he knows I’m here; that he can hear me somehow.
“Hey, it’s me…Addie. I’m probably the last person you want to hear from today, but I felt that it was important to say my peace.” Suddenly a rabbit hops out from behind the headstone and scares the crap out of me. It looks at me before scrambling to get to safety. Focusing back on what I want to convey, I add, “You were a good person who got involved with someone who never got over her first love. He took up so much of my heart that there wasn’t enough left for you, and I’m so sorry for that. I tried to be that person for you…I never wanted you to regret marrying me. I wanted to return the love you felt for me – you’ve got to believe me when I tell you that. I guess I wasn’t successful though, and that burden weighs heavily on me.
“I accept a lot of the blame, Rex. It wasn’t fair to you that I accepted your proposal on the pretenses that maybe I could love you the way you seemed to love me. Looking back, it wasn’t fair to you at all.” A vision of a happy Rex enters my mind and it makes me smile…that’s exactly how I want to remember him.
“As for the rest of it, I’m not going to dwell on that. It was a domino effect that stemmed from the acceptance of your proposal…and well, I can’t carry the weight of all that.
“What I basically came for today was to apologize for the beginning – the things I had control over…I’m sorry for not loving you the way someone should have.” The cleansing comes in the form of tears and the silence around me, except for a lawn mower off in the distance.
My baby choose that moment to kick me and I lower my head to rub my belly. When I look up, the rabbit appears again, this time it stands still and stares at me for a long moment before scurrying off once again.
I take this as my sign – an understanding that Rex has heard my words. I cling to that theory and smile to myself, so glad I did this, finally feeling the weight of my guilt being carried off with that mysterious rabbit.
“Thanks for listening, Rex,” I whisper. I carefully get up and head towards my car, glancing over my shoulder one last time before I make the journey home. Home to my second chance.
*****<
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It’s nightfall by the time I get home. I had texted Trey when I would be there so he wouldn’t worry needlessly. The cabin is quiet and I have a feeling he’s on the back deck. Pushing the squeaky door open, I see him on the lounge chair, his head jerking at the sound.
Not saying a word, he studies me as I move towards his chair. He spreads his legs so I can nestle in and lay back against his chest. Cocooning me in his arms, he brings his lips to my ear and asks, “You okay, Snowflake?”
I nod my head and tell him, “Yeah…I think I am.”
“Did you get the closure you were after?”
“I believe I did. Thank you for understanding why I needed to go.”
He squeezes me tighter, saying, “I’ve always got your back, Addie. You know that.”
I do know that. We have been solid ever since I’ve moved back here, and are hyper-aware of all the little mundane things about each other. When you get a second chance at your first love, you tend to not take for granted the person going through life beside you. Trey is especially good at this.
We sit in silence for quite some time and I hear him let out a soft sigh. “What was that for?” I ask.
“I’m just so content.” He spreads his hands across my mound of a stomach and says, “My whole world is right here in my arms. There’s not much more I could possibly ask for.”
I smile as his sweet words tumble over me. I feel like I can finally look back on my life now and say that I have absolutely no regrets.
THE END
EPILOGUE
“Addie, have you seen my black dress shoes?” I yell down the stairs.
“Did you try the closet?” she yells back up.
“Of course I tried the closet.” What does she take me for?
“Check the laundry room. I may have left them in there after I polished them,” she yells back to me.
I quickly go downstairs in the direction of the laundry room when a blurb of sparkles runs past me.
“Look at my cape, Daddy, it follows me when I run.” She giggles as she keeps turning her head to watch the cape, but trying to see what’s in front of her at the same time.
My three-year-old daughter is obsessed with capes after watching a child’s program where the main character had one. She especially loves them when her mom gets finished donning them with all that is sparkly and glittery.
“Be careful, Lilly. You know Mom doesn’t like you running in the house,” I tell her.
“I will,” she squeals, already in the kitchen, more than likely heading into the family room where Addie is printing off my speech.
I then hear Addie admonishing Lilly for running in the house.
I smile when I think of the day that Addie told me she was pregnant, directly after I proposed to her. That was one of the best days of my life, including my wedding and the birth of my Lilly. Those two girls are the center of my universe and every day I thank God for bringing Addie back into my life.
My awesome team of construction workers got our house built and ready to move into just two weeks before Lilly was born. I was never more grateful to them since I knew I worked them to death, trying to meet Addie’s due date. I had never witnessed better teamwork in my life than the coming together of the home I’m standing in right now, trying to find my shoes.
With Addie’s input, this home we built is modest but beautiful, with glass windows all around, boasting the spectacular views of Lake Champlain and the Adirondack Mountains. I always wanted to give her the world and this is just a little slice of it.
We decided to get married after Lilly was born since Addie was always so tired during her pregnancy. She just didn’t have it in her to plan a wedding. I didn’t care one way or the other, just that it happened.
I took her to Tuscany for our honeymoon and I was never more thankful to experience one of her dreams with her. There was one stipulation about the honeymoon, though, and that was Lilly coming with us. Neither one of us could fathom leaving her for the ten days we were to be gone. I will cherish those memories always.
“Trey, the printer is out of paper. Do we have any more?” Addie yells at me.
“Check the den closet,” I yell back.
Could today be any crazier? We usually aren’t this frazzled but today we’re all trying to get dressed and out the door by ten. However, Addie decided she had to have a morning quickie since her hormones are making her crazy. Her quickie wasn’t so quick, thus making us late. I’m not complaining, but today was a bad day for her to pounce on me as soon as she woke up.
Yes, Addie is pregnant with our second child, and I couldn’t be happier. Lilly has already decided that her new brother or sister should have his/her own special cape the day he/she arrives. I’m not sure how I feel about two caped crusaders, but we’ll see.
I find my shoes and head into the family room to find Addie. When I get there, I hear “Shit! Shit! Shit!” coming from the den.
Miss Glitter jumps off the couch and says, “Daddy, Mommy said bad words.”
“Yes, I heard her, Lilly. I’m sure Mommy is sorry.” Walking into the den, I see Addie battling the paper tray of the printer. I walk behind her and grab her hands, trying to calm her. She spins around, relieved to see me.
“The paper tray is jammed again, and I’ve been trying to print your…”
Kissing my wife’s beautiful lips is high on the things I love, it just so happens to calm her when she needs it. I feel her body relax in my arms as my lips work their magic. When I feel no more tension, I look into her big, brown eyes and ask, “What can I help you with, Snowflake?”
“The paper tray seems to be jammed,” she says, a little out of breath.
“I will get the speech, you gather up Sparkle Girl and make sure she’s ready.” I rub her belly and say, “I don’t like you being stressed, okay?”
She gives me a kiss and says, “Okay, I just need to do something with Lilly’s hair and then we can go.”
We are attending a ceremony dedicating an award to our city from the National Housing Reformation Association. It’s an Annual Vision Distinction for supporting a sweeping neighborhood transformation, headed up by yours truly.
After I had finished building our home, I took some time to reflect on what I wanted to do. Yes, I loved building all of the homes for the elite who could afford the splendid views they bought. I’m very proud of my work, but after thinking about how I had everything I could possibly want out of life, it was time to give back.
So when I received a call from the Mayor of Burlington, asking me if I would be interested in heading up a construction crew to give a facelift to existing HUD homes and build some new homes with a grant given to us by state, I accepted without hesitation, knowing this was the direction I wanted to go in. Addie supported my decision whole-heartedly.
We are finally in the car heading toward town. “Are you nervous?” Addie asks me.
I reach over and take her hand in mine. “Of course not,” I reply.
“I’d be a wreck,” she confesses.
I smile and say, “Well, it’s a darn good thing you aren’t giving a speech then.”
She scrunches her nose at me and looks back at Lilly, who is playing some game that she conjured up from her wild imagination. I wonder if Addie was anything like her when she was little. I make a mental note to ask her mom.
Addie rests her head back and looks over at me. “I’m so proud of you, Trey. This is a great thing that you’ve done.”
“This wasn’t a one-man show, Addie. I had scads of help,” I tell her.
“You know what I mean. Those men give you their one hundred percent because they believe in you and what you stand for. That’s what I’m so proud of.”
“Well, in that case, I thank you for that.”
Pulling into the city building parking lot, we get out and make our way to the stage they’ve set up for the occasion. Addie sees her parents and waves to them. I take her by the elbow and stop her. “I’ve got to check in with Mayor
Hanson. I’ll meet everyone afterwards.”
She gives me a kiss and says, “Good luck, baby.” I give Lilly a kiss and tell her to look for me on the stage in a little bit.
“Bye, Daddy.” She waves to me as Addie makes her way to her parents.
As everyone is taking their seats and the opening remarks begin, I know it will be a bit before I’m brought onstage. I look out to the crowd of people, locating the ones who are there for me.
Addie is sitting with her mom and dad, with Lilly on her dad’s lap. Beside them are Luke and my mom and dad, who are fully retired and loving all their travels. They thought Australia was amazing and can’t wait to go back. Luke has been running the farm and he’s damn good at it, I have to say. I just wish he’d find that perfect someone to share his life with.
Beside Luke are Amanda, Jackson and Amanda’s husband, Brent. We’ve come a long way - Amanda and Addie are somewhat friends now. I wouldn’t say they are going to hang out and be bff’s, but we all have a comfortable relationship for the sake of Jackson. Now that he has a stepdad, I don’t step on toes but I still like to keep in touch.
Beside them are Wade, his wife Angie, and their baby girl, just four months old. I didn’t know how much I liked the idea of Addie having a guy for a best friend, but when we finally met, I liked him instantly and was glad he was there for her all the times that I wasn’t. He’s a great guy and his wife is a lot like Addie. How could I not like her?
My chest swells with pride with all of my family and friends here to support me. I love these people and I love this city.
As soon as I’m called to the stage, I walk to the podium. When the clapping has died down and I’m ready to begin my speech, I hear a “That’s my daddy!” from the sweetest little sparkly voice I know. I smile at her and give her a little wave.
I begin my speech thanking all of those involved and telling everyone what a privilege it was to be asked to lead such a project. I explain about what it was we actually did and then I introduced my team leaders. It was a nice ceremony, but I was looking forward to hanging out with my family.
