by Jamie Pope
“No, Cricket.” She was shocked to see tears well in Elias’s eyes. “That was not the one thing you could give me. We can have more babies, but if I lost you that day, I don’t know what I would have done. There will never be another you. I will never have another wife.”
She was waiting for him to say like you. But it never came. Of course he would have another wife if something happened to her. He was a beautiful man inside and out. Any woman would want to be with him.
Even now, he could have anyone else he wanted. Now that the baby was gone, it really hammered home that she wasn’t the wife he would have chosen. Their child had bonded them together, and now that child was gone. What was left for them? What was it that would keep them together now?
“I feel so terrible.”
“I know.” He cupped her face in his hands. “But we can be happy again. I want to see you happy again.” He kissed her, his eyes closing, his hands pulling her closer.
She wanted what he wanted. To be happy. Being with him made her happy. But she could never be sure if she was enough to make him happy.
“I need you,” she whispered to him as she reached for his shirt. “Please.”
“Are you sure you’re ready?”
She unbuttoned his shorts and slipped her hand inside, stroking his already-hard manhood. “Undress me.”
The lust in his eyes made her wet immediately. She was wearing a simple halter dress that he had packed for her. He had brought all her favorite clothes. He’d even packed the scented lotion she liked. He knew her so well. Better than the man she’d spent five years with, better than her own parents. It was one of the thousand reasons she loved him.
She straddled him. He pulled the tie on her halter, tugging down the bodice as he crushed his mouth to hers. He was a master at undressing her. His nimble fingers unclasped her bra. His hands reached for her breasts, cupping them, running his thumbs over her too-sensitive nipples. She gasped at the sensation, and he pulled his lips from hers and looked into her eyes as he took one of her breasts into his mouth and suckled.
She couldn’t stop the moan that escaped her lips. She grasped him with one hand as she pulled her underwear to the side.
“Wait,” he said to her as she slid down on him. “I haven’t made love to you in a month. Let me at least take you to bed.” He grunted as she rose up and slid down on him again. “Let me take my time,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let me go slow.”
“It’s too late. Later. You can go as slow as you want later. I need this from you right now.”
Chapter 13
“Wake up.” Elias felt Cricket’s lips kiss their way up his throat the next evening. They hadn’t made it out of their rental at all that day. They’d barely made it out of bed. They had missed each other, missed being together like they had been. But it was different now. He didn’t think it could be more intense than it was before, but in a way it was.
He was glad they’d talked, glad he understood how she was feeling a little more than before. She had always put so much pressure on herself. She lived up to impossible standards, and he blamed her mother, who had conditioned her to never feel that anything she did was right.
He wouldn’t allow that to happen anymore. That’s why he had taken her away from there. Neither one of them needed that right now. They needed to heal without someone rooting against them.
“I’m awake.” He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him. He loved her body, the way her large, soft breasts felt pressed against him. “Did you miss me?” He captured her mouth in a long kiss. “It’s your fault I passed out. I haven’t worked so hard in years.”
“Don’t kiss me like that,” she said, sighing.
“Why?” He ran his hand up her back. She was clad only in her underwear, and in his opinion that was far too many clothes. He unclasped her bra.
“Hey!”
“What? We’re on our honeymoon. The dress code is naked, and you started this.”
“We’ve had more sex in the past twenty-four hours than most normal people should.”
“Neither one of us is normal, love. And if you don’t want to have sex with me, you should probably keep your lips off my throat.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to have sex with you. I always want to have sex with you.”
“Good.” He rolled her onto her back and slipped off her panties. “Why are we still talking?”
He pushed inside her, finding her completely ready to be loved. He kept his eyes open so he could look down at her as he made love to her. He loved the way she looked back at him—there was love in her eyes. Neither one of them had said the exact words, but maybe they didn’t need to be said. They had been through so much in such a short amount of time. How could there not be love between them?
He lowered his head to kiss her as he pumped inside her. She never was one to sit back and let him make love to her. She was always an active participant. She always made his lust spike uncontrollably. She wrapped her legs around him. Squeezed herself around his manhood, scraped her nails down his back. He could barely hold on, but she seemed to like him that way, to the point where he was too far gone.
Lucky for him, she came quickly.
He climaxed with her and collapsed on top of her, a happy, exhausted, sweaty mess.
“That was good,” she said, patting his back.
“You always say that.”
“I always mean it.” She grinned at him, and he felt the strong urge to kiss her again, so he did. “Don’t start again. We’re going to be late.”
“For what? Did you make dinner reservations?”
“No. We’re going on a private night tour of the nature reserve.”
“Are we?”
“Yes. While you were napping, I went to the boutique and bought all the gear we need.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What kind of gear would that be?”
“Nothing heavy-duty, just rain gear and long pants. Hiking boots. A waterproof camera. Bug spray.”
“How much did you spend?”
“A small fortune, but nothing is too good for my husband.”
“Are you sure you’re up to a hike in the woods?”
“Yes. It will be a light activity compared to all the sex.” She stroked her thumb across his cheek. “You don’t want to go?”
“I do.”
“Good, because I was going to guilt you into it. Now get off me. We’ve got to get out of here.”
A half hour later, they were in the middle of the rain forest along with their guide, wearing LED lights on their heads. He had been surprised to see how into it Cricket was. She was an academic. She had spent most of their marriage with her head in a book, but he remembered that right before they met she had spent months roughing it in developing nations, surrounded by poverty and infectious diseases. She was brave, his little wife. She went over the tiny suspension bridges without an ounce of fear, looking down at the forest floor and asking a thousand questions. They saw owls, lizards and frogs on their journey. The only thing Cricket balked at was the large tarantula they spotted. Even Elias was uneasy about that one, but she had buried her head in his back and wrapped her arms around his waist and asked him to guide her as far away from it as possible.
When their tour was over, they lingered outside, slowly heading toward their rental. There was a warm breeze blowing, the sky was clear and dark, and they could see every star in the sky. They stopped at the hot springs, which during the day were full of people bathing. They were empty now. Quiet. The only sounds came from the rushing waterfall and the wildlife singing in the distance. This was paradise. Elias never wanted to leave it.
“Let’s get in,” she said, looking up at him.
“Do you have your bathing suit?”
“Nope.” She gave him
a cheeky smile as she set down her bag and pulled off her top. “Do you think that’s going to stop me?”
“Cricket.” One hot surge of lust hit him square in the pants. He’d never thought it would be possible for one woman to turn him on so much.
“Elias.” Her grinned widened. “Take your pants off. You know you want to.”
“We can’t have sex out here,” he said to her as she stripped off the rest of her clothing.
“I know. I’m planning to make you suffer.”
He was already suffering. It was painful to feel this kind of need. He took off his clothing, placing it on top of hers and following her into the hot springs. The hot tub was nothing in comparison to this. The water felt different, cleaner, the air was thick and tropical, the surroundings were too beautiful for words, and he was with a woman who had a naughty side that he was growing fonder of by the moment.
“Tell me some nerdy facts about these hot springs,” he said to his wife.
“They are heated by a volcano,” she started. “This one is about one hundred and two degrees, give or take a few. Because of the natural minerals, the water is supposed to leave your skin moisturized and refreshed.”
He grinned at her. It never ceased to amaze him that someone so smart could look so damn mouthwateringly sexy. She was a pinup. She had the kind of body that was meant to be covered in oil and draped over a sports car, but she was also brainy. And somehow he’d had the good fortune to be placed in her path. “Come here.” He sat on a man-made rock bench that was located just in front of a small waterfall. She obeyed his request, coming to sit beside him instead of on his lap like he wanted.
“You’re too far away from me.”
“I know. I’m afraid to touch you.”
“You should never be afraid of that. Come here.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. Their wet bodies slid against each other, arousing him more.
“We cannot fool around in here. I don’t care how clothing optional this resort is.”
“Clothing optional? I didn’t know that. I just thought you were being naughty.”
“I am! My mother would have a heart attack if she knew what we were up to.”
“Don’t worry about her.” He kissed her shoulder.
“I’m not sure how you two are going to get along when you go back to work.”
“I’m not going back to work for her. I sent in my resignation three days ago.”
“What?” Her eyes went wide. “You love that job.”
“Yes, but I can do it anywhere. What I can’t do is work for your mother. Especially after what went down between us. She doesn’t have a say in our lives. You and I are the ones who decide.”
She looped her arms around his neck and held on to him tightly. “You don’t have to do this. I’m sure you can work things out with my mother. She didn’t mean to hurt us.”
“But I saw the look in your eyes when she said those words. When we get back home, I’m going to apply at other hospitals in Miami, and if it’s okay with you, I’m going to start looking outside south Florida. I’ve got contacts all over, including at the Davis Clinic. One of my former teachers is a chief of surgery there.”
“That’s the best hospital in the country.”
“I wouldn’t be applying for trauma. Thoracic surgery would become my specialty again. My hours would be steadier. More routine scheduled procedures.”
Cricket made a soft noise but didn’t say anything else. They were just speaking in what-ifs, but if he got a job there they would have to move to the middle of the country, away from both of their families. It was a lot to ask of her, but they could make their own family, and they could always visit Hideaway Island.
“I won’t apply if you don’t want me to.”
“Of course you have to apply. If you have the chance to work at the best hospital in the country, you should go. I have been there before to work with their microbiologist in their infectious disease clinic. I’ve never met a group of more brilliant scientists.”
“That’s good to hear. We don’t have to make any decisions yet. I think we should wait until we find out for sure if you’re pregnant again.”
“Pregnant again?” She looked startled for a moment.
“The doctor did say we shouldn’t have a problem getting pregnant again, right?”
“She said I should be fine.”
“I think we should wait till we get back to the States before we take a test. But we can get one here, too. Although I’m not sure if we can get an early-response test here.”
“How long are we staying here?”
“As long as you want, but I reserved three weeks.”
She kissed his shoulder a half-dozen times. “I want to stay here with you the entire three weeks, but I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“I think it’s too soon to know for sure, but we’re fertile. You might be.”
“No, I really mean that I’m not pregnant. I can’t be. I had the doctor give me a shot of Depo-Provera.”
“That’s a long-lasting shot. The effects can last longer than six months.”
“I know. I didn’t think you would want to try again so soon. The doctor wanted me to wait eight weeks before trying to get pregnant again, and this just seemed like the right thing to do.”
“You know how much I want to be a father.”
“You will be a father.” She pressed her lips to his mouth. “You will have all the happiness you want, because it’s what you deserve.”
Even though his wife was pressed against him and she was saying the right words, Elias felt uneasy. He felt like she was disconnecting herself from his life once again.
* * *
Cricket had thought that Hideaway Island was her happy place. The place where no pain could reach her and all her memories would be happy ones. But real life had infiltrated her peaceful sanctuary there. She had lost her baby there. Gotten into the biggest fight she had ever had with her parents there. But she had also met Elias there. She’d made love for the first time there. She had truly fallen in love on that little island, and having so much joy and so much pain connected to one place taught her a valuable lesson. Life can reach you wherever you hide.
They were in paradise, she and Elias. It had been nearly three weeks full of deep, delicious lovemaking and fantastic food. She got to be encased in the love of Elias’s extended family. She got the chance to be spoiled by his mother. They had all been so kind to her, and part of her never wanted to go back to the States. They could make a life here in paradise, she thought. They could wake up to the sounds of wildlife and look out the window and see nothing but unspoiled rain forests and ocean water so clear and blue that it looked unreal. Elias could easily get a job here, a job with even more prestige than he had back at home. She could spend her days writing and doing research in the medical field at a university. They could have children here and raise them in a different culture.
It could be a wonderful life, and Cricket knew that all she had to do was say the word to Elias, and he would make it all happen. He wanted her to be happy, no matter the cost to himself, and that’s why she loved him so much. And that’s why she knew she couldn’t stay there forever, because it wasn’t the life he had dreamed for himself. They had unfinished business back on Hideaway Island. And even though this place was pretty much perfect, she still missed being home. She had spoken a few times to her father, who was truly distraught with how things had gone down before they left. He told her that her mother was upset, but her pride and strong will wouldn’t allow her to apologize. Cricket didn’t need an apology, but Elias did. He was the one who had sacrificed so much. She needed to find a way to give him as much as he had given her.
She looked over to him. They were
lying on the beach at twilight, their favorite time of day. It was completely empty. There was a lovely warm breeze blowing and the sound of waves lapping the shore. Elias was dozing next to her on his lounge chair, a panama hat draped over his face. She had bought it for him. She thought he looked unbearably sexy at the moment, wearing swim trunks and a short-sleeved blue button-up shirt open to reveal his hard chest, which she had a hard time not running her fingers over.
She got up from her chair and plucked the hat off his face, only because she felt the desperate urge to kiss him in that moment.
She should have known he wouldn’t let her get away with just one kiss to the cheek. He pulled her down on the chair, shifting his body so that they both could lie there together. He ran his hand over her bottom. At his request she had purchased a white bikini. It was even sexier than the one she had worn that day she spent with his family. She had felt horribly self-conscious in it. But he kept looking at her, touching her. He enjoyed her body. She had spent so long with a man who was uninterested and unable to be sexual—being married to a man who was the opposite of that was making her feel alive in a way she hadn’t thought possible.
“You didn’t think I was going to let you walk away from me, did you?”
“I just wanted to give you a little kiss.”
“You know I can’t take the way you look in this bathing suit.” He slid his hand to her back and unhooked the top of her bikini. Her breasts came free and he touched them, smoothing his large, skilled hands over them.
“You need to stop that,” she moaned.
“Why?”
“We can’t do this here.”
“Why not? No one is around. We’re all the way at the end of the beach.”
“Someone could easily walk up.”
“Yes.” He kissed her shoulder. “But I doubt they will.”
“I don’t think this chair will hold up to our lovemaking.”
