Jaxon

by Maryann Jordan

  “At this time, you can certainly get it wet in a shower. I would not take a bath, where it would be submerged in the water for any length of time, but a shower would be fine.”

  She smiled, thrilled at the thought of being able to move more comfortably, while secretly thinking of how much more creative she and Jaxon could be in the shower without her having to hold her arm out of the water.

  Dr. Roberts continued to have her move her fingers and wrist, watching the motions she was able to perform. “I’m most concerned with your elbow movement, but that will come in time as the bones continue to heal.”

  “How long before the external plates come off?” her mother asked. “I know it makes it hard for her to dress, and she constantly has to worry about snagging them on something.”

  “I’d say she’s got another four weeks with the external fixation plate and then, as long as the bones are healing well, we can do the surgery to take it off.”

  “Four weeks,” her father mumbled under his breath.

  Dr. Roberts held her gaze for a moment before shifting his focus to her father. “Mr. McAlister, with the severity of her injuries, you have to realize that, once the external fixation plate and pins come out, she will still have a long recovery time. I know you want her in the pool, and she can certainly get in the water for leg exercises, but no swimming. She should not use her arms for any water resistance. My best estimate is that she will not be able to do anything strenuous for several months.”

  As much as the news surprised her, her eyes immediately jumped to her dad, seeing his eyes bugging out of his head and his ruddy cheeks growing redder.

  “Months? She can’t begin practice for months?”

  “She can get in the water, move around, exercise her legs—but not her arm. I want the bone splinters to heal completely without any stress on them.”

  “You know who she is. What she’s already lost. My daughter’s gone from being an Olympian to nothing because of a freak accident. To be ready for the next one, we’ve got to give it everything we have. She was at peak. In four more years, she’ll be competing against younger athletes.”

  His words washed over her and ugly speared directly into her gut. Nothing…I’ve gone to nothing.

  “Sam, please,” her mother begged. “We’ve talked about this.” Turning to her, her mom said, “We’ll just take it one day at a time.”

  “Well, I think we can kiss my competitive swimming career goodbye,” she threw out. “In spite of Dad’s earlier, optimistic predictions.”

  “You will swim again, honey. You just have to believe. It’ll take time and hard work, but your Olympic dreams will come true.”

  She stared at her mother for a long time, words not coming, before allowing her gaze to slide to her father, noting his averted eyes and his jaw ticking in anger. How could she say what was in her heart right now? My dream is gone. Dad’s dream is gone. I have no idea what I will do tomorrow, much less in four years. Swallowing hard, she tightened her jaw to keep her chin from wobbling.

  Finally, conquering the desire to cry once again, she nodded toward Dr. Roberts. “Thank you. I’ll make sure to follow all your instructions.”

  He appeared to want to say something else, but simply nodded instead. Turning, he stepped outside the door and the nurse assisted her down from the table.

  Walking outside, the sun was bright, but she barely felt it with the cold that emanated from deep inside.

  She had waited outside Jaxon’s apartment building when they picked her up and she wanted them to drop her off the same way, but her mother insisted they come in with her. Opening the door, she walked in and they followed.

  “Oh, wow, his place is nice and open,” her mother said, looking around.

  Her father grumbled, “You’re staying with someone and we’ve barely even met him?”

  Fatigue moved through her, stealing not only her energy, but leaving her emotionally drained as well. “Dad, you’ve rarely met the men I’ve dated since I’ve become an adult.” Inwardly, she knew she had never dated anyone seriously but, at the moment, did not want to get into that with him.

  “He’s not in the business, I know that,” he shot back.

  Eyes wide, she shook her head. “Business? You make this sound like the swimming mafia! Jesus, Dad, he’s a good man, an EMT, and I really like him. Maybe the silver lining in all this is that I finally get to have a life of my own for a while.”

  “A life of your own? What the hell do you think your mother and I’ve sacrificed all these years for? It was so you could have your dreams.”

  “Sam,” her mother said, placing her hand on his arm, calming him slightly.

  She looked at them, realizing for the first time how they interacted when it came to her. He lost his temper, demanding more, and her mother held him back, acting as a mediator. Blowing out a breath, she said, “I’m really tired.”

  “Yes, let her rest for now,” her mother said, pulling gently on her father’s arm.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said, moving out the door.

  Her mother turned to her and kissed her cheek. “Honey, be patient with him. He’s really upset at the loss of your dreams.” Holding her hand up quickly, she added, “Yes, and it was his dream too. He’s having a hard time adjusting.”

  “Mom, so am I. But at least I choose to surround myself with someone who is supportive of me. Not disappointed.”

  Her mother smiled as she pulled her purse strap upon her shoulder. “I’m glad, Morgan. I really am. And, I promise your dad will come around to whatever happens.”

  Doubt filled her, but she nodded. Watching her mother leave, she moved to the sofa, sinking into the cushions and propping her arm up automatically. Her cell phone buzzed in her purse, but she left it on the coffee table.

  The words of the doctor and her dad washed over her, sinking deeply into every pore. Months before you can swim. Months before you can practice. She’ll be competing against younger swimmers.

  She realized she had been telling herself there would be another Olympics. But four years was a long time. I’ll be twenty-eight. Competing against eighteen-year-olds. A harsh, cold reality slid into her heart. It’s over. I’ll never be an Olympian. Ever.

  And with that reality, the next thought came. So what now? Who am I without that goal?

  Jaxon pulled his motorcycle into the parking spot next to his Jeep and jogged up the stairs. He had been calling Morgan all day, wanting to know about her doctor’s appointment and visit with her parents. His heart pounded in fear, since she had not replied with either a text or a call. What if the news was bad? What if her parents convinced her to move back with them? What if…?

  Unlocking the door, he stepped in, his nerves taut. The room was unlit, but the evening sun came through the windows, illuminating the area with a gentle light. His gaze swept the room, but seeing no movement, he hustled toward the hall. A slight noise from the side halted his steps and he whirled around.

  Morgan was sitting on the sofa, her arm propped, but she was not moving. Unsure if she was asleep, he softly walked over, kneeling in front of her.

  Red-rimmed eyes met his, but they appeared to be unseeing, similar to when she was first in the hospital. He reached out and clutched her cold hand. “Morgan? Babe? Sweetheart, talk to me.”

  She blinked several times, her eyes slowly focusing, as though waking from a long sleep. Shifting, she winced.

  “Is it your arm?”

  She shook her head and said, “No. I’m just stiff. I must have been sitting here a long time.” Looking at the fading light from the windows, she added, “Oh, is it evening already?”

  “Have you been here since your doctor’s appointment?”

  She nodded and attempted to stand. Wobbling, she accepted his assistance. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “Babe, you’re scaring me. Can you tell me what happened?”

  “I need to go to the bathroom first.” She wobbled again and lifted her hand to her forehead. �
�I’m a little woozy.”

  “Have you eaten today?”

  “Uh…” she rubbed her forehead. “I don’t think so.”

  He wanted to hear all about the appointment but knew her needs had to be met first. Escorting her into the bathroom, he gave her privacy, but immediately assisted her as soon as she was finished. Leading her back to the living room, he settled her onto the sofa again, saying, “I’m going to fix something for you to eat and then we’ll talk.” Gaining her nod, he hustled into the kitchen and pulled out a homemade chicken and rice casserole that Rosalie had brought over. Popping it into the microwave, it only took a few minutes for it to be steaming hot. Plating it, he brought a tray over to her and set it on her lap.

  “Eat up,” he ordered gently.

  She acquiesced and began spooning the delicious food into her mouth. Finishing, she nodded slightly as he took the tray.

  Sitting on the coffee table so he could face her, he spread his knees to encompass hers and leaned forward to hold her hand. “Okay, give it to me. Give it all to me.” He watched as she blew out a long breath, her face etched in sadness.

  Shrugging, she said, “Not much to tell. Dr. Roberts said the pin sites look good. Said I can now get it wet in the shower. Even said I could get in the pool if I wanted.”

  He stared, cautious, because her words were positive but her mood was not. “Okay…and…?” he prodded.

  Her eyes dropped to her lap and she lifted her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

  “What exactly did he say, baby?”

  “Um…he said I can get in the pool but can’t exercise my arm. I can walk or kick my legs but can’t use any water resistance on my arm. Considering that if my arm is in the water, I’d be using it in some capacity, I guess that means that I’d need to hold it above the surface.”

  “Okay,” he prodded again.

  She lifted her gaze to his and said, “It’s over, Jaxon.”

  His heart seized as his eyes widened. “Over? What’s over?” he choked out.

  “My career.”

  25

  Licking his lips, Jaxon said nothing for a moment, trying to decide what to say. At first, he thought she was talking about them when she said it was over and his heart nearly stopped. But realizing she meant her goals, he felt guilty for immediately thinking of himself. Jesus, I told Miss Ethel I was no good at this! Forcing his thoughts to calm, he remembered her words. This is depression…and I need to be whatever she needs with each step.

  “Talk to me about it, sweetheart. Tell me what you’re thinking.” He was afraid he would sound patronizing, but breathed a sigh of relief when Morgan began to speak.

  “It’s all I know. My dad had me in the swimming pool when I was a baby. He’d been a collegiate swimmer but missed making the Olympic team. He always lamented that his parents had not started him sooner or supported his dream. I think he was determined to be what they were not. Swimming, physical training, orthopedists to help with sports injuries, other coaches, and hours daily in the pool. It’s all I know.”

  She lifted her eyes back to his and her voice shuddered. “It’s all gone, and I don’t know anything else.”

  “Did the doctor say your career was over?”

  She gave a barely perceptible shake of her head. “No. But it’ll be months before the bones will heal completely and that’s if they heal completely. It’ll be another month before the surgery to remove the external fixation plate and screws. Then, more physical therapy to regain some strength. He said it might be a year before I have complete functionality again.”

  He continued to rub her cold hand, taking her fingers and gently massaging them to get the blood flowing once more. Looking down at her unmoving left arm, he reached over and felt her icy fingers. Rubbing them, as well, he hoped she could feel his concern.

  Morgan sucked in a quick breath, the touch on the fingers of her left hand strange and wonderful all at the same time. After a moment, she continued, “I’m twenty-four years old, Jaxon. In four years, at the age of twenty-eight, I would be getting too old for the Olympics. Not impossible, if I were in peak condition, but with almost a year or more out of the competition…well, let’s just say that the reality is, I’ll never be what I was.”

  Jaxon, scared to say the wrong thing, instinctively knew she did not need platitudes. So, speaking from his heart, he leaned forward, touching his forehead with hers and simply said, “I’m so sorry, Morgan. So very sorry.”

  They stayed that way for a few minutes before he finally he heard her suck in a deep breath, noting it was not shuddering anymore. He leaned back and took in her moist eyes, paired with a slight curving of her lips.

  “Thank you for not trying to either tell me I’ll be fine or guilt me by saying I’m lucky to be alive.”

  He grinned, cupping her face. “I just want to be here for you. Whatever you need.”

  She remained quiet for another moment before lifting her eyes to his. Biting her lips, she asked, “You want to watch some TV? How about some old, scary movies?”

  He smiled wider and, cocking his head, asked, “Popcorn?”

  “Yes, absolutely, popcorn,” she nodded.

  “You got it, babe,” he said, moving to the kitchen.

  Morgan watched him come back a few minutes later with a huge bowl of popcorn in his hands, which he gave to her before turning to the TV to select a movie.

  He grinned over his shoulder and called out, “Bela Lugosi? The Devil’s Bat from 1946?”

  Unable to keep the smile from her face, she nodded. “Perfect.” As he put the movie in, she realized that word described not only the movie, but Jaxon. No bullshit. No platitudes. No expectations for her to be anything other than just her. Just honesty. I could fall in love with him.

  The last thought slammed into her and her heart jolted. He turned around and settled onto the sofa, pulling her into his body and she fought to still her pounding heart. Still not knowing what her life path held, she knew, in that moment, she wanted to be with him when she finally figured it out.

  The tang of chlorine hit her nostrils and Morgan sucked in the sharp scent. Looking down at her swimsuit, she was glad she had managed to shave her legs, bikini area and, with some difficulty, under her arms. With a towel wrapped around her, she walked from the locker room to the pool.

  In the local YMCA, she noted the small pool size when compared to the massive Olympic sized pool she had been using at the arena. Hearing her name, she looked over, seeing Jaxon walking toward her.

  His hair was pulled back from his face and she blinked at the sight of his body. Dressed in low-slung swim trunks, his muscular body was on display in all its glory. Thick, corded muscles defined his chest and abs. His arms and legs were equally as magnificent. Desire settled in her core and she considered telling him she wanted to disappear into the locker room with him, hoping they would not be caught as she devoured his body.

  “You ready?”

  Blinking again, she stared at him, wondering for a second what he was referring to.

  “Getting into the pool?” he chuckled, a chesire grin spread across his face.

  Busted! “Oh, yes,” she blurted, her cheeks burning with a deep blush. “Sure.”

  He assisted her to the steps and she walked into the water. The cool rushed over her and she longed to plunge into the familiar world where she lived under the water. He moved into the pool behind her, but as she stopped at the bottom of the steps, he waded a little further out.

  Looking toward him, she said, “You don’t have to stay right with me. Go on and swim some. I’ll be fine just walking in the shallow end for a while and can keep my arm above the water.”

  “No, no,” he insisted. “I’ll walk with you.”

  Grateful the pool was almost empty, they walked side by side for a few short laps, keeping to the area that did not have lane ropes. While the water felt refreshing, she was stunned by how quickly she became exhausted. “I can’t believe how out of shape I’ve become in only
a few weeks away from any exercise.”

  “Want to get out now?”

  She debated for a moment and then said, “I think I’ll sit on the steps so I can keep exercising my legs for a bit. You go ahead and swim.”

  She watched as his eyes shifted to the side, staring at the long lap lanes. “Is everything all right?”

  He brought his gaze back to hers and admitted, “I’m not much into swimming.”

  “You do know how to swim don’t you?”

  “Sure,” he answered a bit too quick. A rare blush stained his cheeks and he said, “Well, I know the fundamentals. Miss Ethel made sure we all had lessons, so I can freestyle down a lane, but that’s about all.”

  “Oh, Jaxon,” she said. “I wish I could teach you. The water is so freeing and such good exercise.”

  “You can teach me, you know. I mean, not right now, but later. When you’re back in the water and able to swim some.”

  She grinned and said, “Of course, I’ll teach you. It’ll be fun.” He looked back toward the deep end and, even though he was well over six feet tall, an expression of doubt crossed his face. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “I promise, it’ll be fun.”

  He held her gaze, a small smile curving his lips as well. “Okay, I’ll trust you to not let me drown.” His breath caught in his throat as he confessed, “You once saved me from going under…many years ago.”

  Her forehead crinkled as she stared in confusion. He continued, “I was ten years old and in a pool for the first time. The other boys were swimming all around and I was nervous. My feet slid out from under me and a little, six-year-old, red-headed mermaid came to bring me back to the surface.”

  Her eyes widened, their blueness piercing right throught him as her mouth opened wide. “I remember. I was envious of all your brothers playing when I had to do laps. But…how did you know it was me?”

  “Your dad called out your name a bunch of times.”

  Rollign her eyes, she nodded. “Of course, if you were around me in the pool, you would have heard dad yelling ‘Morgan’.” They stared at each other for a moment, each lost to their own memories. Finally, she said, “I’m glad I was able to help you.”