-Fourteen-
Shattered
Despite my anticipation at the possibility of seeing Devlin again, and my need to offer my own apology, the next few weeks flew by without any faelah sightings or awkward encounters with Mikael. I partially blamed my professors for the distraction since they had started loading us down with outlines and review handouts for the upcoming exams. I could have complained like the rest of my classmates, but maybe getting ready for finals would keep my thoughts focused on the real world for once. And that, for some reason, reminded me that I had a friend who needed rescuing from the demons that chased me. During the week following the Samhain bonfire, I didn’t see Evan at all. I had started to think that maybe he’d finally been taken completely in by the Daramorr, but the following Monday he showed up to class. I wasted no time, descending upon him like a vulture as soon as our instructor excused us.
“Evan! Hey, how have you been? You had me worried at the bonfire,” I said.
He only shrugged, tossing back his black, shaggy hair. “I guess I’d been coming down with something. That’s why I was gone all last week. Sick with the flu I think.”
I nodded grimly, accepting his excuse but not fully believing it. He had been sick, I had no doubt about that, but probably not with the flu.
Feeling like my old spunky self, I slugged him on the arm and said, “Well, try not to make me think you’ve gone off and died the next time you get sick, okay? Text me or send me an email or something.”
He scowled and rubbed his arm but his eyes looked a little brighter.
“All right,” he grumbled.
Satisfied Evan was safe, mentally and physically, for the time being, I tackled my next issue: Moira. She, too, seemed to be avoiding me. For nearly two weeks, we didn’t share shifts at the Green Tea Leaf. When I finally came in one evening and found her hovering over the cash register, I nearly panicked. Now what do I do? I asked myself. Then, realizing I was acting like an idiot, I sniffed and held my head high. As far as she knew, I never had that conversation in the car with Devlin. She was still the air-headed, boy-crazy, vain Moira I’d come to know. Not Faelorehn. Not the sister of the Daramorr. You’ve got this Robyn. Time to channel some of that sass and confidence you had in abundance whilst in high school.
“Moira!” I said with amplified cheer, “I haven’t seen you in ages.”
She returned my smile and twirled her hand in the air. “Oh, I know! Something I ate at that bonfire of yours didn’t agree with me. Food poisoning I think.”
Huh, go figure, all these people coming down with something all of a sudden. Yeah right.
“Sorry about that. Must not have been something I ate because I felt fine the next day.”
“Well, I’m glad Margie’s new schedule has us working together again,” she said nonchalantly.
We gave up our conversation as a sudden influx of customers entered the cafe. Once the crowd had dispersed, Moira pulled me aside, her usual, perky mood back in commission.
“So, tell me more about your friend Devlin,” she hissed excitedly behind the cappuccino machine.
I eyed her warily, trying to glean what I could of her reason for asking. Either she really was interested in him or she was fishing for information. Either way, she was good at hiding her thoughts. Taking a shallow breath and deciding to play it safe, I shrugged.
“I wouldn’t say he’s my friend. Met him one day on the bus on my way to class and we started talking. Turned out he was interested in Celtic mythology and I invited him to the bonfire. But I don’t think I’ll be seeing much of him again.”
Best to let Moira think whatever relationship I had with Devlin was over. Whatever speck of trust I thought I’d had with Moira was long gone now.
Moira’s eyes widened and I thought I saw their color shift, but it was gone in a flash.
“Oh. That’s too bad. I was hoping you could get me his number or something. Wait, do you have his number by any chance?”
I fought the urge to slap her, but just barely.
“No,” I snapped and got back to work.
Moira and I didn’t talk much for the rest of our shift and when it was time to lock up and leave, I moved as quickly as possible. Before Devlin’s revelation, I’d been perfectly happy believing she was just another hormonal college girl, but now that I knew she was Faelorehn, and the sister of a demented murderer, I had to question every single one of her motives.
For the next several days, I tread lightly around Moira, doing my best to come off as the old, feisty Robyn I was before my world had been turned on its head. I thought a lot about Devlin in that time as well, wondering if he had meant what he’d said in the letter. The flowers he’d left for me had long since wilted and died, but the note itself stayed tucked away in my desk drawer. I hoped that he wasn’t in trouble, wherever he was, and instead tried to focus on school.
On the Friday before Thanksgiving break, I arrived home in anticipation of having an entire week off to relax and maybe go on a few outings with my Earth Bound friends. On my way in, I checked the mailbox like I did every day, shuffling through the letters as I headed for my door.
Electricity bill, coupon book, water bill, credit card offer . . . When my fingers brushed against an envelope addressed to me in thin, formal cursive, my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. With everything that had been happening of late, I had almost forgotten I’d been waiting for this letter. I fumbled for my keys and, once I was inside, I tossed the other envelopes onto my desk and began peeling open the one from my father.
With the envelope torn off and discarded, I stepped into the kitchen where the light was better and began reading furiously.
Robyn,
We have received your letters and, although we appreciate your enthusiasm, your mother and I must insist that you stop sending them. We have prayed for you often during our Bible study sessions and have asked the congregation for advice. It is with great regret that I must inform you that we have come to the conclusion that any further interaction with you may be harmful to our chances at Salvation. For my sake and my wife’s, please do not contact us again.
Sincerely,
Timothy Dunbarre
I couldn’t feel my fingertips. My ears were ringing, and I had forgotten how to breathe. All thoughts about Thanksgiving break and Devlin and dealing with Moira and her brother scattered like cockroaches across my brain.
I didn’t understand. Kelly and Jonathon were Christians and they never treated me this way. But my father, the man who had taken me in as a foster child and raised me, could not accept who I was. My parents had fought so hard for years to finalize the adoption, choosing to keep me as other foster kids came and went. And they had been so happy the day I became their legal daughter. What had happened since then?
Taking a long, deep breath, I tried very hard not to come undone. When the wave of panic stopped its swelling and subsided, I turned and glanced out the kitchen window. The sky was still grey, and the forecast called for a chance of some light showers later. Perfect weather for my mood. Maybe I could take a walk downtown and window shop, or perhaps I’d go to the big used bookstore a few blocks from the Green Tea Leaf. Perusing some stacks of old books was a good idea. Anything to get my mind off of my father’s letter.
My gaze was still aimed toward the outside world when something moved at the edge of my vision, something at the end of the street. At first, I thought it might be another faelah coming to get me, and for a moment I contemplated letting it rip me to shreds. But then I realized it was far too bright out for faelah, and the figure wasn’t an animal at all. A moment later, I recognized the blond hair and tall frame. Devlin. He had finally returned to the mortal world, and of all the times for him to make an appearance. My heart kicked up its pace as his long strides cut across the distance separating us.
Without giving it a second thought, I dropped the letter and darted into my living room. Time to get out of my apartment before the walls caved in all around me. Grabbi
ng a scarf and my purse, I opened the door and stepped out into the blissfully overcast day.
“Hey,” I shot over my shoulder with a smile as I locked the door behind me.
Devlin had made it to the lawn and stopped in his tracks. His clothing matched the mortal world, so my quickly brewing plan would be a bit easier.
I turned and approached him. “What are your plans for the day?”
His face showed mild surprise but he answered, “I was going to check if any new dark magic had accumulated around your apartment.”
He dropped his eyes, then slowly returned them to meet my own. “And hopefully get a chance to apologize in person for my past behavior.”
The scream that was lodged in my throat so eagerly wanted to break free, but I couldn’t let it. I needed to make peace with Devlin, not allow the anguish caused by my father’s letter to take hold. I shook my head. “No, I should be the one apologizing. I totally overreacted after the bonfire. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
Devlin’s mouth curled up in a smile that made my bones melt. “How about a mutual forgiveness?”
He stuck out a hand and I took it, shaking on our deal as I fought back the turmoil unfurling inside of me.
Clearing my throat I said, “Can your inspection wait?” I gestured at my apartment.
This time, both his eyebrows rose.
“I was thinking about catching a movie,” I blurted. “I have the afternoon off from work, and I could really use a day of frivolity.”
He continued to scrutinize me and I was really tempted to start fidgeting. Instead I hiked my purse up onto my shoulder. “Have you ever been to a movie theater before?”
“No,” he finally answered.
Feeling desperate, I grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward the sidewalk. “Then I’m going to take you. It’ll be my treat.”
To my great relief, Devlin followed without objection. As we headed into downtown, I chattered on about how rainy weather gave us mortals the perfect excuse to sit in front of a giant movie screen while stuffing ourselves full of junk food. Devlin remained silent, listening to me as if what I said was more than remotely interesting. That was nice; having someone care about what I had to say. The words from my father’s letter threatened to make a second appearance at the forefront of my thoughts, and I had to smack them right back into the part of my mind that had no business functioning right now.
Downtown was busy, what with everyone gearing up for Thanksgiving break, but fortunately they seemed more interested in the adjacent coffee shop and bookstore than in the movie theater. There were several choices as we stared up at the marquee, but only three were playing within the next half hour. One movie was a typical American comedy featuring actors who were known for using rude bodily functions and lewd jokes to encourage laughter. Ewww, no thanks. Another was a war drama. Way too intense for my tastes, especially considering my current mood, though I couldn’t speak for Devlin. The last listing, which started in ten minutes, was the movie adaptation of the latest young adult paranormal series. And we have a winner . . .
“Mind if I pick the movie?” I asked Devlin, hoping he didn’t.
He shrugged, and the corner of his mouth curved upward again. Despite his casual attitude, his eyes studied me too closely, as if he knew something wasn’t right.
I’m fine. Nothing wrong here. Just a normal day in the life of Robyn.
“Whatever you choose will be perfect.”
Alrighty. I turned back around and purchased two tickets. A bucket of popcorn, two sodas and a couple of candy bars later, I was cringing at the gaping hole in my recreation fund. Oh well. I was determined to enjoy the day with Devlin. Perhaps if I kept myself distracted enough, the memory of my father’s rejection would disappear.
The movie turned out to be pretty good, action-packed with a touch of violence but not too gory for my taste, and just enough romance to keep it out of the chick-flick department. When we emerged out into the overcast day two hours later, Devlin said, “You explained to me before what a movie was, but I’m not so sure I understood what just happened in there.”
Devlin’s expression was one of amused confusion. I had to fight off a laugh. “You’ve seen plays before, right?”
He nodded.
“A movie is just like a play, only the producers and film editors can add special effects.”
Devlin furrowed his brow then said, “You mean illusion.”
I was about to argue with him but then I gave his observation some thought. He was right. Computer-generated images and sound effects were a type of illusion. Smiling, I picked up my pace as we left the plaza and headed up the next street. Devlin followed in silence and I peered into the windows of the shops we passed by. Even though Thanksgiving was a week away, several of the local stores had already decorated for Christmas. Fake snow, holly and glittering garlands bordered the windows, and the manufactured scents of pine and cinnamon wafted from some of the buildings. I gritted my teeth against the familiar smells as memories of my family surfaced in my mind, memories from when I was young and they still loved me.
The door that suddenly swung open onto the sidewalk would have hit me if Devlin hadn't pulled me out of the way. The woman emerging from the store gave me a perturbed look as she breezed past us. I bit my lip, kicking myself for doing what I had promised myself not to do.
Enjoy the afternoon with Devlin, Robyn. Forget about that stupid letter.
Something warm and slightly rough brushed my hair out of my eyes.
“What’s wrong Robyn?” Devlin asked quietly, his hand resting on my cheek. “Is it about the night of the Samhain bonfire? Have Mikael and Moira harmed you?”
There we stood in the middle of the sidewalk, people streaming around us like water around a large stone in a creek bed.
“No. Nothing like that,” I breathed. “Nothing is wrong, just got distracted by the Christmas decorations.”
I pulled away from him and indicated the winter scene in the window display across from us. My smile felt forced and I really would have liked to stay nestled up against Devlin, but it wouldn’t take much to make me cry at the moment and that would just be disastrous. We crossed the street and started heading back toward the center of town.
“I have an idea,” I chirped, trying to break free of my own thoughts. “There’s this really cool used book store a few streets over. We can hang out in there for a while until we warm up a bit.”
It was still too early for me to go back to the apartment. When I finally allowed the reality of my father’s message to sink in, I wanted to be so exhausted that I’d be asleep before the real pain hit me. Traipsing all around San Luis with Devlin would definitely do the trick. I just needed to keep him from figuring out why I’d suddenly become so active, which was proving harder and harder as the minutes ticked by. Every time we stopped, he tried to ask what was wrong, which only made the tears press harder against the back of my eyes.
Stop it Robyn! You don’t cry, ever!
But that had been before my parents had cut all the strings. My last connection to whatever semblance of a family I had ever had.
The bookstore greeted us with the glorious scent of dust, ancient cracked leather and yellowed paper. As soon as we were inside, I closed my eyes and just breathed. Ahhh, balm to my recently wounded soul. I reached back and grabbed Devlin’s arm, pulling him past the table heaped with discount paperbacks and toward the side room. The shelves ran from the floor to the ceiling ten feet up. Each genre was well-marked in large, hand-made signs. I spotted the markers hanging above my favorite sections, Mythology and Fantasy & Science Fiction.
Once nestled back in the empty corner of the store, I let my fingers run over the spines of the books in the mythology section. My own personal library back at my apartment was mostly composed of whatever Celtic myth books I could get my hands on, as well as the newer editions of some of my favorite contemporary authors. Not until the floorboard creaked behind me did I remember
Devlin was still with me.
I glanced over my shoulder and caught a glimpse of him, truly studying him for the first time that day. He was dressed in his customary mortal clothing, jeans and a T-shirt with a black jacket for the cold. It had only been three weeks since I’d last seen him, but a few things appeared different about him. His hair was a bit longer, the lines of his handsome face a little more strained. Even though he still exuded that calm, quiet demeanor, there was definitely a sharper edge to his ever-watching eyes. I was certain discovering the identity of the Daramorr had something to do with it. For a few moments, I was tempted to ask him if he’d made any headway in flushing Mikael out of his mortal hiding place, but I decided to hold off until later.
The books seemed to have caught Devlin’s interest because he pried one out of a particularly crowded shelf and had begun leafing through the pages. The image of him in that outfit reminded me of Meghan’s husband, Cade. He’d worn something similar the two times I had met him. Thinking about my old friend, living in the Otherworld with a loving husband and her biological mother, threw my thoughts off-kilter again. I pressed my forehead against the spines of the books on the shelf in front of me and took deep, shuddering breaths. No matter where I went and no matter how hard I tried to distract myself today, my thoughts always ended up back in the same place.
Before I was aware of what was happening, a dark shadow blocked out what little light had made its way back into this room. Slightly surprised, I looked up. Devlin loomed over me, his face etched in concern.
Lorehnin: A Novel of the Otherworld Page 17
