Cold As January

by Katie Graykowski

  “I’m Sweet Louise Harding, Devon’s mother.” The woman held out her hand for him to shake. “That gray is too taupe-y and the other gray isn’t gray enough. This room needs a dark gray.”

  “I agree.” He shook Sweet Louise’s hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Giles.”

  “Just Giles?” Susie watched him like a hawk. “Are you sure you don’t want to introduce yourself as Dr. Giles Nixon?”

  “No, I’m learning how to be ‘Just Giles.’” He nodded toward the sofa. “Have a seat, everyone. I can make some coffee.”

  “We brought you some. Here.” Charisma handed him one of the cups from the Starbucks carrier she was holding. “It’s an Americano black.”

  “Thank you.” After painting all night, it was all he could do not to drink it down in one swig. He settled for taking a healthy gulp. “Is there something I can do for you ladies?”

  “Who painted this?” Laney took a few steps back from the canvas so she could evaluate it as a whole.

  “I did.” Giles raised his coffee cup like he was a five-year-old raising his hand in class. “I used to paint quite a bit.”

  “Then why did you discourage me from majoring in art in college?” Laney’s eyes turned mean.

  “Are you sure you want to discuss this in front of your friends?” How did he tell his little girl that she was a terrible artist? Way back then, he’d used the old you-can’t-make-a-living-being-an-artist argument to get her to change her major.

  “Yes. If you love to paint, why did you encourage me to stop?” Laney folded her arms.

  “I didn’t encourage you to stop painting, I just encouraged you to change your major. I’d love for you to paint, but the odds of you being able to make a living at it are very slim. I wanted you to have a career to fall back on.”

  Laney’s brow scrunched up like she was trying to recall the conversation they’d had all those years ago. Her shoulders slumped. “I guess you didn’t tell me to stop painting.”

  Sweet Louise hugged Laney. “Honey, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve seen some of your paintings. He did you a favor. You’ve found your calling, and it isn’t holding a paintbrush.”

  “I know. I guess it’s just easier to blame him than to admit that I sucked as a painter.” She put her head on Sweet Louise’s shoulder. “Personal growth is overrated. I want to stay shallow and hateful forever.”

  “This is really good.” Susie pointed to the painting. “Did you paint that from memory? You really captured her expression.”

  He nodded, not trusting his voice to express how he felt about painting January.

  Sweet Louise looked at the canvas and then at him and back at the painting. “If I had to guess, I’d say the man really cares for her. What do you think, ladies?” She looked at each Tough Lady in turn.

  “I say give him the benefit of the doubt.” Nina shrugged. “We can always kill him later. After that, we’ll chop him up and dump his body parts in Lake Travis.”

  “That was very specific.” He eyed Nina warily.

  Sweet Louise took the cup out of his hand and gave him another coffee cup. “This one’s better. We all spit in that one.” She set the spit-filled coffee cup on the side table next to the sofa. “So, you have five minutes to convince me that you want to be in January’s life, or I’m turning you over to Nina.”

  “Wow, you are so cool. I want you as my mother.” Charisma one-arm hugged Sweet Louise. “I need to learn how to inject more violent threats into my everyday life.”

  Sweet Louise winked. “Honey, stick with me. I’ll show you the ropes.”

  “What do you mean, Charisma? You threaten us with violence every single morning.” Nina shook her head. “Do you have head trauma or have you forgotten that you yelled us into running another five miles after we’d finished the ten you told us to do?”

  “That’s different. That’s for work. I need to threaten more people in my personal life.” Charisma made that sound like a perfectly normal explanation.

  Giles eyed his new cup of coffee with suspicion. “So … about January … where should I start?” He had never before felt this exhausted—body and soul. Not even during his residency at Texas Medical Center, when he’d been on call for days without rest. Being in love—or rather, being rejected by the woman he loved—was the most exhausting thing he’d ever done.

  He felt the room sway, but then Laney was there, putting her arm around him and leading him to the sofa. “Just start at the beginning, Dad.”

  She’d actually called him Dad.

  So he did. He started at the beginning, with the moment he first saw January. “January brought Susie to her first appointment …”

  It felt good to finally talk with someone about January.

  * * *

  Chapter 13

  * * *

  “Should we help him?” Sweet Louise looked around the room. “What do y’all think?”

  “Yes, I think we should.” Laney turned to Giles. “I’m beginning to see why January went out with you. When she first told me, I thought it was a joke or that someone had paid her to go out with you.”

  “How flattering.” He rolled his eyes.

  Laney’s hand covered her mouth. “Did you just roll your eyes? I didn’t think you knew how.”

  “Your mother called it révulsion oculaire. Apparently I used to do it to her a lot.” From the beginning, Marjorie’s list of pet peeves about his behavior had been longer than both of his arms and legs put together.

  Being with January was so dang easy in comparison. She made him laugh and want to be a better person. All Marjorie had done was make him a better trained doctor.

  “You have to admit that you and January aren’t all that compatible—at least not on the surface.” Susie crossed her legs out in front of her and rolled her left ankle. “You don’t have much in common.”

  “How’s the foot?” He resisted the urge to kneel in front of her and check her range of movement. “Does it hurt?”

  “It’s fine. It just fell asleep. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” Susie waved him off.

  “Now that you mention it, Susie, they aren’t compatible. What did y’all do together?” Laney held up a hand. “Don’t say sex because we already figured that out and I don’t need a graphic blow-by-blow. I already can’t get that image out of my head.”

  “We did all sorts of things. We watched movies, went out to dinner, went to music festivals, went antiquing.” He shrugged. “Lots of things. It was a lot of fun.”

  Laney shook her head. “I feel like I don’t know you at all.”

  “That’s my fault. I haven’t been the best father. I’d like to make it up to you, but I’ll be honest—I don’t know how. I didn’t have the best relationship with my father, mostly because I didn’t have the opportunity. I was too busy working to keep a roof over our heads. When you came along, I just did the same thing I’d always done. It wasn’t until January came into my life that I realized my interpersonal skills could use some work.” He’d never shown, much less admitted, any of his faults to his daughter. Maybe doing the exact opposite of his own father hadn’t been such a good idea. “I see now that being a provider isn’t the same as being a father.”

  Sweet Louise patted Laney’s knee. “Laney, honey, go hug your father.”

  Laney wrapped her arms around him, and the love that he’d felt but wouldn’t allow himself to show came tumbling out. He squeezed her tight and held the hug for several beats longer than was socially acceptable.

  “Not that this isn’t nice, but I’m losing feeling in my arms.” Laney laughed.

  He realized that he hadn’t heard her laugh in years. It made his heart smile.

  “Sorry.” He dropped his arms. Tears stung his eyes and he swiped at them.

  “Now I’m going to cry.” Sweet Louise fanned herself. “I love a good cry. And y’all should get ready. I’m not one of those dainty criers. Prepare yourself for some good ol’ country wailing.”

  �
��I feel like I have my daughter back.” The lump in his throat was the size of a grapefruit. “Actually, I feel like I’m getting to know my daughter for the first time.”

  Sweet Louise let out a loud honking noise.

  “Wow, you really aren’t a dainty crier.” Nina’s eyes turned huge as she watched Sweet Louise. “That is an angry, ugly cry. I mean, like a real, ugly, my-husband-ran-off-with-his-twenty-one-year-old-receptionist-and-ran-over-my-dog-getting-out-of-the-driveway country song kinda cry.”

  “It’s just so sweet. I feel like one of my children has finally found peace. It’s so beautiful.” Sweet Louise wailed like she’d lost a limb.

  Susie put her arm around Sweet Louise. “Come on now, it’s sweet, but you need to pull yourself together—for womankind. We can’t let men think we’re weak.”

  Sweet Louise went back to fanning herself. “Okay, right. For womankind.”

  “This is just lovely.” Nina pointed at Sweet Louise. “Except for that. That was scary. Anyway, I think we’re all in on helping Giles, so what’s our next move?”

  “You could tell me where January is so I can see her.” Giles shot the room at large his most charming smile.

  “I don’t mean to comment on your personal hygiene habits again, but before you ride over on your white steed to pick up the princess so y’all can ride off into the sunset, you need a bath. And I don’t just mean a quick shower. You need to grab the Dial and really get in there. The way you smell, I’m not sure any horse would agree to carry you.” Susie’s index finger started at his head and ended at his toes. “This needs some grooming.”

  “Just out of curiosity, what made you all decide to help me now?” Not that it really mattered, but he wanted to know.

  “It was the picture I took of you at my last appointment.” Susie reached into her giant purse and pulled out her phone. She tapped on the screen and turned it around so he could see. “It’s the deer-in-the-headlights look combined with the desperate-hobo style that’s somewhat endearing.”

  “She showed you this?” He glanced around the room.

  Everyone nodded.

  “Did … um,” his voice cracked, “you show it to January?”

  “No, she was in the bathroom when we passed the pic around.” Susie put her hand over her heart. “While we think this is endearing, she might see only mental illness. We thought it was best to leave her out of the loop.”

  Thank God for that.

  “Do you have a plan to get her back?” Charisma always needed a game plan.

  He thought about it. “I don’t have a plan. All I can think to do is go over to her new house and beg for forgiveness.”

  “How did you know about the new house?” Sweet Louise popped one eyebrow up.

  “Susie accidentally told me at her last appointment.” He didn’t know if it had been accidental, but he didn’t want to get her in trouble with her friends.

  “I kind of slipped up, but it all turned out fine in the end.” Susie grinned. “I hope.”

  “Think January would be open to talking with me?” His whole future hung on that one question.

  All of the ladies exchanged looks.

  “Yes and no.” Sweet Louise seemed to speak for the group.

  “More yes than no?” He was looking for any hope, no matter how small.

  “Yes, but there’s more to consider than just January.” Laney bit her lower lip, and he recognized that as her I-have-some-news-you’re-not-going-to-like look.

  “What?” Did she have another boyfriend? He hadn’t thought of that. Not that January wasn’t attractive—she was—but he’d been so wrapped up in losing her that he hadn’t considered the possibility she might have found someone else. Whoever he was, Giles was coming for him.

  “You know January has two brothers, right?” Nina touched his arm.

  “She mentioned them. They raised her after her mother and father died.” He really needed to thank them for taking good care of January.

  “Not going to lie, I’d love to see the look on your face when you meet them.” Laney grinned. “I know you’ve turned over a new leaf, and I can’t wait to get to know you, but I’m not a big enough person to let the past go without a little payback.”

  “What does that mean?” He was willing to take his licks. He deserved some—he could see that now.

  “Did January ever tell you what her brothers do?” Nina looked like she was enjoying this too.

  “I think she said something about them flipping houses.” What was he missing here?

  “They do flip houses, but that’s not all they do.” Laney was enjoying this way too much.

  “Okay, what else do they do?” He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like this.

  Laney couldn’t keep from laughing. “Ever heard of the Devil’s Bastards?”

  “No.” Was that the name of some sort of weird religious group? Had January been raised in a cult? “Who are they?”

  “They’re a motorcycle club. Remember the shooting at Twin Peaks in Waco a couple of years back where nine people were killed and several more injured?”

  “Are you saying her brothers are part of a motorcycle gang?” That was absurd … only, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. All of the things January had said about her brothers—the motorcycle-gang thing fit.

  “They prefer motorcycle club. The only reason they weren’t at Twin Peaks was because they were running late because January got into a fender bender and Bru and March both refused to leave January’s side until she was at home in bed and resting.” Susie shook her head. “Did I mention that it was a fender bender? Literally, only her fender had a tiny dent because she backed into a pole. Her brothers take overprotection to a new and horrifying level.”

  He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. The fact that her brothers were in a motorcycle gang—er, club—that shot up public restaurants didn’t change the way he felt about January. “I don’t care what her brothers try to do to me. January and I are going to be together, if she’ll have me.” He said it with a lot more conviction than he felt.

  “Okay, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.” Laney one-arm hugged him. “I’d hate for you to get hurt just when I’m starting to like you.”

  “Back to the plan you don’t have,̦” Charisma said. “Don’t you think we should put one together?” He was beginning to see that Charisma’s life didn’t work without a plan. Until recently, he had been just the same. He hoped she would find someone to take her out of her comfort zone.

  “I’m open to suggestions.” He slung an arm around Laney’s shoulders. She froze at first and then relaxed into him. He’d never thought of himself as a hug-y type person, but here he was hugging his daughter. He just couldn’t get enough of it.

  “I don’t think you or January would be into big gestures.” Susie tapped her index finger against her lips. “You could try flowers and a carriage ride. It’s a classic for a reason.”

  “Or maybe you could arrange to run into her somewhere really public, but nice, like the bar at the Driskill Hotel,” Nina said. “You can sweep her off her feet and up to the bridal suite for a private reunion. Added bonus, she’s too smart to kill you in public, but once you get to the room, all bets are off.”

  It was interesting to see what other people thought was romantic.

  “No, he should plan a romantic weekend to somewhere like Fredericksburg. You could whisk her away to a luxurious bed-and-breakfast. You could spend the whole weekend in a huge clawfoot tub drinking wine and getting reacquainted.” Laney swallowed hard a couple of times. “Sorry, I threw up a little in the back of my throat at the thought of all of that reacquainting.”

  “I love your enthusiasm, but there’s a word used for whisking someone away who doesn’t want to be whisked—it’s called kidnapping and I don’t think it sets the right mood for reconciliation.” Nina sighed. “Plus, now that we know the plan we can no longer claim plausible deniability.”

  “Okay, Miss Rain-On-Our-Par
ades, what do you have in mind?” Laney propped a fist on her waist.

  Nina thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. “I got nothing. I’m not known for my romantic streak. I’m really more of a love-them-and-then-they-leave-me kind of girl. I have a hard time believing in true love. I’ve never experienced it myself, but I’m open to the possibility. I wish I could be more help.”

  Everyone looked at Sweet Louise.

  “What? Just because I’m older than everyone here that makes me the expert?” Sweet Louise smoothed out a couple of wrinkles in her pantsuit. “The only advice I can give you is to think about the time you’ve spent with January. What made the two of you the happiest? I bet it was just being together. Sometimes grand gestures are overkill.” She held a hand up. “Don’t get me wrong, nobody loves a grand gesture more than I do, but January isn’t me. I think January’s more about the small things.”

  She was right. While January would laugh and enjoy a carriage ride complete with three dozen roses, and she’d also like meeting him in a bar, those things weren’t January. He knew they would both love a weekend of wine tasting in Fredericksburg, but January couldn’t drink, plus that would be a fun thing to do with her anytime. It wasn’t “I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Sweet Louise was right. It needed to be something small and meaningful.

  “I have an idea.” Its beauty was in its simplicity. “I’m going to show up on her doorstep and stay there until she lets me in. After that, I expect there will be a large amount of groveling, followed by tears—mine, not hers, because she’s not much of a crier, and then we’ll live happily ever after. How’s that?”

  Nina walked up to him and clapped him on the upper arm and held out her other hand for him to shake. “It’s been nice knowing you. I’ll probably never see you again, because that was the lamest make-up plan ever, but I guess you can say that you tried.”

  Sweet Louise held up her hand. “Now wait. He might have a point. Simplicity is always a good thing, and January loves the simple things. How about a picnic? If you come bearing food, she’ll let you in. Right now she’s eating for two, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s to never get between a pregnant woman and a meal.”