by Sam Destiny
“Ten years can turn a boy into a breathtaking young man, Aly. Ten years can make all the difference in the world,” the old lady remarked, and Aly took a deep breath.
“You don’t know anything about the world I left behind,” she insisted, and her neighbor actually smiled.
“I know enough about you to know the guy you left behind wasn’t a bad guy. In fact, I’d guess he was anything but. Besides, the way I see it, the last choice might actually be the only one. Did you ever think about that? Maybe he wanted to give you time to be whatever you wanted to be in the world before getting serious with you?”
Aly swallowed as the air around her seemed to vanish. She felt like lashing out because this was getting way too personal. What-ifs didn’t belong in her world any longer.
“Maybe he actually was a crazy stalker and I ran. Did you ever consider that?” she snapped, and the older woman got up, still focused on the ocean behind her shoulder.
“You don’t look scared, child. You were never one constantly looking over your shoulder. You have friends around here. I don’t think you’d have stayed this long in one place if you were afraid of someone. You’re lonely, though, and I’ve seen guys walk up to your door, but you don’t want to keep them. In fact, I’m not even sure you give them a chance.” Dorly walked closer, reaching a trembling hand out to touch Aly’s ice-cold hands.
“You know, sometimes opportunity is too scared to walk up to the door and knock, so maybe you should give it a chance by walking toward it.”
Aly took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Thank you. I guess.” She had no idea what to make out of that statement, but Dorly nodded, and Alessia started walking up her porch to the back door.
Behind her, she could hear Dorly talking to someone, but it took until the person answered to pull the ground from underneath Aly’s feet.
“You look better, boy,” the old woman mumbled, walking toward him with shaky steps. Jamison Loane took a deep breath and gave her a smile without really looking at her.
“First good sleep I’ve had in months,” he answered and then saw how Aly stiffened with a gasp. She still recognized his voice even after all these years. He couldn’t look his fill, no matter how long he stared at her back. Waiting with bated breath for her reaction, he couldn’t help his aching heart when she just continued, following the path she had started, and vanished inside the house.
Jamison had spent months on the road, and no matter how often he turned this over, there just was no right way to step in front of Aly without scaring her. Ten years he had lived a shallow life—getting up, working hard, and making sure Greg paid all the money to Aly and the kid. He never tried to contact her because he feared someone would connect the dots, and that was the last thing he wanted. He had been young and stupid back when he had asked Aly to take his son. Now, he’d do it all different.
Not that Aly hadn’t been the perfect choice, but she would be locked up for a very long time if this ever came out. She shouldn’t be suffering for something he had forced on her.
“Jamison?” He shook his head, realizing that he had totally checked out on the little woman in front of him.
“Miss Rome, I’m so sorry.” He apologized, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I wondered so much how this moment would go, the first time seeing her again, but I didn’t think it would be like that.”
“Why don’t you come with me? You look like a capable young man, and I need someone to fix a drawer in my kitchen. I’d offer dinner in return,” she said, and Jamison was more than glad for the suggestion. He had nowhere to go since each and any guesthouse was too far away from Aly and his son.
“You know, seeing you now and her earlier, I wonder how the two of you looked when you both were carefree. Both of you seem much older than your years, and it just hurts my heart. People like you and her should be dancing and singing, laughing and enjoying life, not look at the world as if nothing good ever came from it,” she mused. Jamison took a deep breath.
There was no doubt Aly had to grow up way faster than the average girl, but then, a lot of teenagers had a hard time. Only none was ever burdened with the child of the guy they loved – and hadn’t brought into the world themselves.
“I could use a good dinner,” he eventually answered, his eyes going back to the house into which Alessia had vanished. To his utter surprise, she was back on the porch, watching him.
Dorly turned, following his glance and then patted his chest. “You know, the drawer doesn’t need fixing that bad. I’ll start on dinner and you go and say hi, okay? I think it’s something you both need,” she announced gently, and he barely registered her touch, nodding only the slightest bit.
She left and Jamison took an enforcing breath. His legs felt oddly stiff as he made them move toward Alessia. She no longer was a girl; that much was obvious. She had grown into a stunning woman, and it made his throat go dry. Aly had filled out in all the right places, looking lean in her blue jeans and white tank under a knitted sweater. Her ebony hair fell in thick waves over her shoulder and down her back, making Jam wish he could drown his hands in it. It looked like silk, shining whenever she moved. Her cheeks were sun-kissed, and he guessed he’d see tiny freckles covering her nose if he were close enough.
Jamison couldn’t imagine himself falling for the same woman over and over, but standing where he did now, he knew it had taken one look to fall right back in love with her. Not that she ever would believe those words if he were to say them.
Alessia didn’t move toward him, but then he hadn’t expected her to. She stood on the porch and he stayed in front of it, not going up the two stairs. He wanted to give her the feeling she was in control of this, and it was true. Only when he dared to meet her eyes did he realize she was crying again. It made his heart skip a beat.
“Are you gonna take him away from me?” Aly asked, her voice breaking. It made him speechless that she thought him capable of such cruelty.
“What?” His voice was rough, full of disbelief.
“Why else would you be here?” she wondered, and he buried his hands in his pockets because it was all that kept him from reaching out and drawing her into his arms.
It was crazy, and no one would ever be able to understand, but he had never before kissed Aly or even held her the way a guy would hold the girl he loved since he was a little boy.
No, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her for as long as it would take until he was ready to let her go again. Only he couldn’t. He never had been the boy for her, and now, he was even less man enough to deserve her.
“I needed to see that you and he were safe. I just … I wanted to see both of you. Ten years is a long time, Aly.” She shivered visibly at the use of her nickname, even though she probably had heard it coming from his lips a thousand times before.
“We’ve been safe ever since I left. No one ever contacted me or came to ask me about him,” she whispered, obviously calming down at least a little.
“What did you tell people?” He needed to know so he wouldn’t blow her cover. And because he wanted to hear her voice; the only thing he allowed himself to take comfort in. It had gotten slightly deeper, softer around the edges, almost sultry. He was sure it could drive a man crazy.
“I told them I had planned to go to college and just realized I was pregnant weeks before I left.”
“You changed his birthday?” He didn’t know why that worried him, but Alessia instantly shook her head.
“No, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I always say I hid out in some tiny town, gave birth, and then figured I needed to change my plans. While, in truth, I came here right away, I always add some months between leaving and arriving. I pretend I wanted to work before college started. Oh well, no one really questioned me much about him. They did ask about his father, though,” she explained, wiping a leftover tear from her cheek while looking up to the sky. He could tell she was trying hard to stop crying, but it didn’t work very well.
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br /> Jam bit his lip for a moment, wondering which of the things on his mind he should mention next. “What did you tell Greg?” he finally asked, and she took a deep breath, brushing some stray strands of hair from her face. Jamison couldn’t stop admiring how beautiful she was. Of course, he knew what story Greg had been fed, but somehow, he didn’t think she’d take the news well that her very own brother had been in on this whole scam.
“It was a lonely night, and I wasn’t ready to make an unborn suffer for my mistake. He took it surprisingly well.”
Jam almost coughed out a laugh. Of course, he had taken it like a pro. After all, Greg knew his sister didn’t do lonely nights … and hadn’t been pregnant when she left. “The lies came almost too easy, and people believed them like that, too. I should be insulted.”
Jam wanted to say something, but then the screen door moved and his eyes fell on his son. He wasn’t sure anyone could imagine how it would feel to a father after not having seen his kid for so long and then to face him. In fact, he had doubts that the guy even knew who he was. It was another thing he needed to ask Alessia. What had she told his son?
Ten years was a long time for a man to regret his decisions, no matter how well meant they had been. But upon seeing that boy, Jamison knew one thing for sure – making Aly his son’s mom was the only thing he wouldn’t ever regret in all the years to come.
Alessia felt her son touch her leg and then, ever so carefully, look around her body at the man who was his father. Words seem to evade Jam as his emerald eyes focused on the little boy. She wasn’t even sure he noticed, but tears came to his eyes while his lips parted in wordless wonder.
Even while Tommy had arrived only seconds after Aly had vanished inside her house, Lesso clearly took more interest in the second guest they had now.
“Mom?” Alessandro asked, wrapping his arms around her hips while he never once stopped looking at Jam.
“Lesso?” she inquired, going through his blond curls with a smile. He was the perfect height to cuddle, and now that the utter shock of knowing Jamison was there was over, she could actually take pride in how well his son had turned out.
“Why’s he crying?” the little boy wanted to know, and Jamison seemed to come out of his stupor, rubbing at the wetness on his cheeks.
“I’m not crying. I’m just not used to the windy beaches and the sand grains,” Jamison explained. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, and then he knelt on the lower porch step. Aly pushed her son forward slightly and noticed that now the two were about the same height.
“Hi, I’m …” Jamison started, breaking off as he tried to find the right words.
“I know who you are. You’re Jamison Loane,” the little boy announced. “I’m already ten, and my mom tells me everything,” he then went on, pride clear in his voice. Jamison gave her a quick look, and Aly hid a smile. Jam was in for a huge surprise.
“Yes, I can tell. You’re the man of the house, aren’t you?” Alessia almost laughed as Jamison’s eyes flickered to hers before settling on his son again.
“Yeah. Why are you here? Did they finally let you go from where you have all that hard work?” Alessandro asked, and Jam looked startled.
“I told him that you were working hard to make a lot of money so Lesso and I could have an amazing life,” she interjected.
“’Cause that’s what daddies do,” Alessandro agreed. “My friend Tom’s dad sells things to people so when a wave breaks their house, they get money. He works very much, too, and Tom never sees him, either.”
When Jamison looked at her this time, she mouthed the word ‘divorced,’ even though she knew his questioning gaze wasn’t about that.
“Baby, don’t you have a guest? Where are your manners?” Aly scolded, and Alessandro looked up at her before surprising them all by hugging Jam tightly. His father’s hand looked huge on the little boy’s back as he pressed him just that little bit closer before releasing him.
“Will you let Dad come for pancakes tomorrow morning? Mom makes those pancakes with faces and … I’m a big boy, I don’t need smiling faces, but Tom never got them, and he always wants them,” Alessandro explained, quickly toning down his excitement to look more grown-up. It made Aly laugh and Jam smile, but then Aly got serious.
“Your father might be busy, Lesso. You know how hard he works,” she reminded her son, not even sure why, but she didn’t want him to be disappointed if Jam wasn’t staying. They had settled that he wouldn’t take Alessandro away from her, but still, she had no idea about his motives for showing up in Sunrow.
“If your mom lets me enter the house, I’d be happy to come,” Jam promised, and Alessandro looked from his father back to her before putting on a serious expression.
“If you treat a woman nicely and bring flowers, she might just allow you to set foot in her house,” he recited something he had obviously heard a lot. Aly lowered her eyes, hiding her grin.
“That’s right,” she agreed and then brushed a hand over his hair again before gently pushing him toward the back door. “I’ll be right in. Tell Tom to get ready for pizza,” she told him, and Lesso nodded, starting to hum while he vanished inside the house again.
Aly focused back on the man who still kneeled on her porch step, looking more broken than ever. “Here you thought you’d surprise us, and instead, we surprised you.” She smiled, moving to her knees in front of him. He didn’t look at her or talk to her, so she reached out and brushed her hand over the five o’clock shadow on his chin. He was trembling, and for the first time ever, she wondered what he was thinking. Due to her brother and those two constantly hanging out, she had become a pro at reading him. Or so she thought. Now, there was no telling what went on behind those soul-deep green eyes.
“Aly,” was all he had said before she found herself in his arms for the first time ever. He smelled all male and clean, a hint of his favorite cologne still on his clothes. It was crazy how much his scent reminded her of her childhood and teenage years. He always had been a part of that – strong, independent, and handsome. Nothing had changed about the last two, but she couldn’t help but think she was the strong one this time.
Jamison stared at the table and wondered how he deserved a son like that or a woman who had treated him the way Aly had even while he hadn’t been there.
A bottle appeared in front of him, and he looked up in surprise. “You look like you need this,” Miss Rome commented and then poured him about two fingers of the amber liquid. Jam wasn’t a drinker, but maybe that would calm him down enough to actually get some sleep. Right now, he couldn’t imagine closing his eyes since his thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour.
“What did Aly ever tell you about me?” He wanted to know, and the older woman shrugged her shoulder.
“I don’t think she mentioned you that often. I might be old, but I can still tell when not to force a story. Aly isn’t exactly forthcoming when it comes to her relationships,” she explained, and Jam almost cursed himself.
“She has a new boyfriend?” he asked, and the woman took a deep breath.
“That, boy, is something I don’t know. One guy comes by more often than others, but I don’t think anyone has ever really taken her out. I offered to keep Lesso with me, but she wouldn’t have it. If there’s a guy in her life, it’s her son. Besides, when mentioning you earlier, she almost instantly had tears in her eyes. I think there’s something unresolved between the two of you, and no one can move on if the past isn’t in the past, right?”
Jam couldn’t agree more, but his past would probably never let him go. It was best that way, and he knew it. Until Greg called him, though, he would at least stay around.
“I sense another story untold,” the woman went on, touching his arm to regain his attention.
“Aly deserves a guy who stands up for himself and her. She deserves someone who has no past and no baggage to carry,” Jam mumbled, and the old woman started to laugh.
“Everyone has a burden to carry,
and I’m no exception. It’s how you handle it that defines whom you’re worthy of. And the way I see it, you haven’t figured that out yet. Be the man you think she deserves, and you’ll be who she wants.”
It was a good suggestion, but Jam wasn’t sure he could actually follow it.
Aly hadn’t slept all night, so she was more than exhausted when her son jumped into the room with a happy scream at only six in the morning.
“Mom, come on, didn’t you want to make breakfast? What if my dad comes and he doesn’t get anything to eat?”
Aly groaned. “What if he comes at ten and won’t get anything because you and Tom ate it all?” She knew she wouldn’t get any more sleep if she thought about the fact that Jam had promised to drop by but getting up at that hour wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to do, either.
Her son settled down on the mattress next to her, looking thoughtful. “Cold pancakes are sure good, too.” She had to chuckle. It was true; Lesso loved pancakes even if they were not freshly made.
“But is that what you want your father to remember about us? We promised him breakfast and then had it without him?” she probed, and her son shook his head.
“No. I want him to love having breakfast with us. I know he works hard to make this great, but don’t you like our life? I don’t think there’s need for him to work any longer, Mom. Maybe you could try and make him stay?” The hope in Alessandro’s eyes almost made her heart crack. She couldn’t promise to hold Jam. She never had been able to capture his attention, so there was no chance for her to get him to stay. Besides, she needed to find out why he had come before she’d promise her son anything at all.
“Our life is perfect just the way it is,” she agreed. “How about we take this slow, Alessandro? Breakfast is a start, and then we’ll see where things go from there, okay? Why don’t you and Tom watch some cartoons while I prepare some coffee?” she suggested.
Instantly, her son’s eyes lit up. “You’re allowing us to watch cartoons?” Usually, she hated placing the kids in front of the TV, especially when Tom was over, but that morning she just didn’t have the nerve to keep them busy. She’d get up, start her coffee, and then enjoy a few minutes on the porch. Gazing at the water always calmed her, and that was what she needed most.
