“I know that. Do you love him enough to be with him?”
I nod. “Yes. I want to be with him so badly, my bones ache.”
“Then why fight it? Aren’t you tired of doing that?”
“I am. I’m so tired.” I open my eyes with newfound determination. “I’m so used to fighting against everything I felt for him, so fighting for him was foreign. I thought it would always be a fight.”
“Not everything has to be hard, you know. Love is easy. It’s everything else that’s hard. Love makes everything better. Love is natural and effortless. It doesn’t fight. Everything else you are fighting? It isn’t love. You’re fighting against love. Embrace it. Love is like breathing fresh air.” Mills stares off into space, reliving what it feels like. I squeeze her hand, knowing exactly what she had just thought about.
She blinks back tears and turns her head to me, smiling. “You have to go after it. You never know when it will be taken from you, Gwen. Promise me that you’ll go after it.”
I sit up and pull her into my arms, trying to give her comfort. She had lost Jack, her high school boyfriend, to a car crash. He had died right before graduation. She doesn’t talk about it much, but since she brought it up now, I know she really means what she is saying to me. “I promise.”
“Go check the test. It’s been like, five minutes now,” she says with a slight chuckle as she wipes her eyes. I stand up at lightning speed, nearly tripping over myself.
I take a tentative step forward, staring at the bathroom like it contains an abyss of unknown elements. My hands grip the trim of the door as I lean forward. I still can’t see what the stick says, so I walk forward, close my eyes, and pick up the test. My breath stops for a moment and I have to remind myself that I can do this.
I snap my eyes open and hold the test out in front of me. Wow, I can’t believe my eyes.
“What’s it say?” Mills shouts from the bed.
I open my mouth, but I don’t know how to form words anymore. I can’t remember how to speak. I lose my balance, catching myself on the bathroom counter. The test falls from my hand, clattering into the sink and landing facedown.
I stare at my reflection. My skin is pale, my eyes are a bit sunken, my cheeks hold a rosy hue, and my eyes are watery. I take the test out of the sink and turn on the water, splashing my face. I need the refresher.
I grab the test again and turn off the bathroom light, plopping back down on the bed and counting the popcorn on the ceiling once again.
“It’s positive.” I hold the stick in the air.
She squeals and snatches it from me, staring at the two pink lines that determine my future. “Oh my god! Oh my god! What are you going to do? You have to tell him! You’re going to tell him, right?”
“Of course I am. I just don’t know how to tell him. I kind of left him at City Hall, freshly married, you know… That whole thing.” I wave my hand in the air and let it fall over my face, feeling a bit sick at the thought of having to talk to him.
“You just have to tell him. Just say, 'Hi, it’s me, your wife. Remember all that sex we had? Well, we made a baby. Surprise.'” She jumps up and does jazz hands.
I bark out a laugh. “Right. That would go over really well. Maybe I should start with an apology.”
She lifts her shoulders. “Maybe. How you deliver the news is up to you.”
My cell phone rings, interrupting our conversation. I don’t know why I’m accepting this so well. Maybe deep down, I already knew I was pregnant. Who knows. All I know is that the news doesn’t bother me like I thought it would.
“Hello?” I answer, still laughing at Mills' jazz hands.
“Bunny! Anthony woke up! He is awake. We are leaving now. Can you get here?”
My mom steals the breath right out of my lungs. “He’s awake?” I choke, staring at Mills, who now has a huge smile on her face. “I’m leaving now.” I press the red button and stand up, grabbing my purse. “We need to go. He woke up! He actually woke up.”
“Who is going to tell Reilly?” she asks as we run out the door.
I get out my phone and press one, since he’s my first emergency contact. No more fear. No more questions.
Send.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Reilly
“Damn, it’s good to see ye awake, lad.” I almost feel like I’m living in a dream as I stare down at Anthony. The white bandage is no longer on his head, but he has a wicked-looking wound over his head. It starts from his hairline and moves along the top of his head. His thick, dark hair is gone now. I don’t think it will grow back, to be honest. I had gotten here a few hours later than everyone else, so I don’t have to see Gwen, or she doesn’t have to see me. Whichever one it is. I don’t know.
“It’s good to be awake, man. It’s crazy. It feels like it happened yesterday, so I can’t believe it’s been three weeks.”
Tears sting my eyes as I think about how I almost lost my best mate. “I can’t believe it either. It’s felt like a lifetime.”
“Ah, don’t do that. Between Mom and Gwen, I’ve had enough tears already. Tell me, what’s going on with you? What’s new in the life of Reilly O’Hara?”
I smile, rubbing my beard as I sit back in the chair. I want to laugh at that loaded question. “Well, it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. Ma moved back to Ireland.”
“No shit!”
“Yeah, I’m not surprised, though. She only stayed here for me, and when she got all that money, it was her chance for a new life.”
“What about you? Did you save the pub and get married? I had the craziest dream about that, man. You wouldn’t believe it.”
My entire body starts to heat up and I immediately start to sweat, and not in a good way. There is no way he remembers. “What’s that?”
He stares at me with tired eyes, but happiness still sparkles in them. His bald head shines against the fluorescent lights, illuminating the wound. It looks so painful.
“Well, I had this crazy dream that you told me you loved Gwen and that you guys were engaged, but it was all fake. You said a bunch of things. I can’t remember everything. It’s a bit of a blur.”
I think he expects me to laugh, but I don’t. It’s now or never. “It’s been a shit show. I’ve needed ye to wake up weeks ago.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “What’s going on?”
“I do love Gwen.”
Anthony tosses his head back and laughs, pointing a finger at me. “That’s funny. Since when?” he jokes, still chuckling. He stares at me, waiting for me to break my serious face, but I never do. He slows his laughter and changes the way he looks at me. He brushes a hand over his mouth and sits up a bit straighter. “You, uh, you’re serious?”
“Aye. I’ve loved her for years.”
“Years?”
“Yeah. It’s been torture being away from her. It’s only ever been her, Anthony. I know she is yer sister, and I tried to fight it off. I really did. But it tore me apart. When ye told me she was coming back, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away from her this time, and I didn’t. She and I both lied to ye for weeks, and I planned on telling ye, but then ye went and got shot.”
“That’s what the voicemail message was about?"
“Aye. Anyway, we had a big falling out about it. I pushed her away because I didn’t want to lose ye friendship. Then ye came in with that stupid contract about St. Patrick’s Day, at which point she agreed to marry me. Well, after your accident, we fell back into a pattern, and I knew I had to be with her. One hundred percent. I’m all in. And then she changed her mind. We got married a week ago, but I haven’t seen her since then. She called to tell me ye woke up.”
“You got married?”
“Aye.”
“You married my sister?”
“Aye.”
He smiles. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew you guys had a thing for each other. There was no way people avoided each other that often without a real reason.”
“Ye don’t care?”<
br />
He shrugs. “Not really. Don’t hurt her and I won’t have a problem, but I’ve known for a long time now. A part of me has always known.”
“Why didn’t ye ever say anything?”
“How was I supposed to know the only reason you guys weren’t together was because of me? That’s insane. Gwen is her own woman. She can make her own decisions.”
I slouch in my seat, pissed off that I lost all those years, but at the same time, I’m relieved. “Ye kidding me? After all that time we lost.”
“That isn’t my fault. You guys came up with these delusions.”
“Well, ye have gained a brother-in-law.” I have my arms spread, showing him that I’m the gift.
“Couldn’t ask for a better one. Does she know?”
“Know what?”
“That you are a billionaire.”
A gasp from behind me makes my blood run cold. “Ye did that on purpose," I tell him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just a man that woke up from a coma. I remember nothing.” He holds his hand to his heart, pouting his lip.
“Ye can’t play that card with me.”
He chuffs. “I have this for all of eternity. If you get shot in the head and survive, then you can come talk to me.”
“Fair enough.” I push myself up and out of the chair, turning around to see Gwen standing in the doorway with a blanket in her hand—probably for Anthony. “Gwen, I can explain.”
“You’re a billionaire?” she asks, stepping into the room.
I scratch my head and turn to stare at Anthony. He lifts his arms in surrender. “She isn’t my wife,” he says.
“Fuck,” I mutter, shutting my eyes.
“You told him!”
“It isn’t a big deal, Gwen. What’s a bigger deal is the fact that he’s a billionaire! I really am happy for you guys. It's about time.”
“So, if ye ever left me, ye would hit the jackpot. I’m loaded," I attempt to joke around with Gwen, but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears. She doesn’t laugh.
Her expression doesn’t give away anything. I can’t tell what her reaction is going to be. If anything, she doesn’t seem too shocked, which I guess wouldn’t be a surprise after the Gredence Place purchase. An awkward silence lasts for a few moments before she speaks. “You didn’t tell me. Why?”
I take two large strides and stand in front of her, grabbing her hands. My soul shifts, feeling at peace for the first time in a week. “It had nothing to do with ye and everything to do with me. When Lucky died, I wasn’t expecting money. But apparently, the bastard won the lottery years ago, leaving me and my ma all this damn money. I had no idea what to do with it. I didn’t want to do anything with it, but then I saw Gredence Place up for sale and I knew I had to have it. For us. For our dreams. I wanted that. I wanted everything I ever thought about, but with you. I didn’t know how to tell you because I barely understood it myself. And I didn’t want people to know. You know how the town can be sometimes.”
She nods, not looking too pleased. “That’s how you were able to get the suite in the hotel.”
“Aye.”
“And how you’re basically redoing the entire house.”
“Aye.”
“And how you are still paying Brock.”
“Spot on.”
“So, you wanted to live as a secret billionaire? Even while you were with me? Don’t you think that’s something I needed to know? How can we be together if we can’t tell each other our secrets?”
“I know that is how it seems, but I did plan on telling you. We kept arguing, though,” I say. "And there was the whole thing with him," I mention, pointing at Anthony.
“Don’t blame your problems on me," Anthony snaps.
“Don’t ye have sleep to catch up on or something?” I retort.
“Funny. Really funny.” He crosses his arms and continues watching TV.
I reach into my pocket and place my fingers around the velvet box. “He doesn’t care. I love you, Gwenie. I want it all with you. I’ve always wanted it all with you.”
I take the box out of my pocket. It’s a small, red square. Slowly, carefully, I open it, displaying a large heart-shaped emerald set in a silver band with beautiful, intricate designs. Two hands wrap around the gemstone, and on top is a crown.
“Oh my. It’s a -”
“It’s a Claddagh,” I explain. I gulp, trying to find the words. “Just like the one I wear on me hand. It’s an old tradition that’s passed for generations in Ireland, symbolizing love, loyalty, and friendship. And I wanted to share that with you. Our love, loyalty, and friendship.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long time. I grimace, expecting the worst.
“I don’t know what to say,” she says. She lifts her gaze up from the ring and stares directly into my eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes are brimming with tears.
“Saying yes would be a good start.”
She giggles, wiping her eyes dry. “But we’re already married.”
“Yeah, but ye aren’t wearing a ring. Ye aren't wearing my ring.” I take her left hand and slid the large rock onto her ring finger. It’s perfect. “Gorgeous.” I kiss her hand. “I love ye, Gwen.”
“Gross," Anthony pipes up.
“Shut up, Anthony," Gwen yells.
“You shut up!” he yells back.
I sigh, rubbing my hand against my eyes. Yep, he was awake, and they were back to annoying each other.
“Is everything okay between us?” I ask her.
“I have something else to tell you,” she whispers.
“Oh, you’re going to love this,” Camilla says, weaseling her way past Gwen to sit next to Anthony. “Juice box?” she asks, lifting an apple juice.
“Hell yeah. Thanks.” Anthony snatches it from her and shoves the straw inside. “Anything is better than the water they are making me drink.”
“What ye got to tell me, Gwenie?”
“This is going to be good,” Mills says, as if she’s about to see an Avengers movie.
“Will both of ye just be quiet for a second so she can tell me?”
Camilla zips her lips and Anthony sucks on a straw, drinking his juice. “Thank ye,” I say. “Love, what is it that ye have to tell me?”
“I’m just going to come out and say it.”
“I’m all ears.”
“I’m just going to say it,” she says again.
“Okay,” I grip her hands, wondering what the hell she could be so nervous about.
“I’m pregnant.”
I blink at her and cock my head. “How?”
“Well, when two people love each other…” Anthony starts.
“—I know how, but I’m wondering how. You said you couldn’t have children, and we have been safe every single time.”
Camilla chips her two cents in. “Condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective.”
I groan. “No one asked the peanut gallery over there.”
“Wow, rude,” she clicks her tongue.
“Harsh," Anthony agrees.
“Yer really pregnant?” My mind whirls with possibilities for our future. We are going to have a child together, which is the one thing I want more than anything, except for Gwen. “Really?”
“Well, I haven’t gone to the doctor, but I’m pretty sure. The symptoms match up. Plus, with my condition, I want to make sure that everything is okay.” Her hand goes to her stomach as if she is protecting our baby already.
I fall to my knees and pull her to me. One hand rests on her stomach, while the other pulls her close. I close my eyes and put my cheek to her stomach. “Ye swear ye ain’t playing?” I whisper, rubbing her flat stomach.
“Believe me, throwing up all that food is something I want to stop doing.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“You want this? You want me still, even after the way I treated you? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so much. I was so angry before. Mills made me see that I was
so used to fighting my feelings for you and I didn’t know what it was like to fight for you instead of against you.”
I lift my brows at Camilla. She isn't looking at us. Instead, she keeps flipping through her magazine. “You’re welcome,” she says, still not looking in our direction.
Always so sure of herself. That’s Mills.
“I love ye, too, Gwenie. Always have. Always will.”
Epilogue
Gwendolyn
Eighteen months later…
My first pregnancy was perfect, and our son, Ronan, is healthy. He’s sleeping at the moment. And a sleeping kid means the adults can play.
“We are so lucky that kid stays asleep all night once he's put down," Reilly says as he comes into our bedroom, shirtless, with two glasses of red wine.
I bite my lip when I see the indentations on his hips. They narrow into a perfect ‘v’. It’s a part of him I love to lick. He’s been working out more lately. His pecs are more defined, and instead of a six-pack, he has an eight-pack. No one should look that good, especially a dad. Where is his dad bod? All the women look at him, but he only ever sees me.
“Ye keep looking at me like that and ye going to be pregnant again in two minutes.”
“Two minutes? You better give me at least five," I tease, taking off my grey Lodge shirt and tossing it onto the hardwood floors. Oh yeah, that’s another thing. We’ve been living in the new and improved Gredence Place for about a year, and it’s perfect. I stay at home with the baby and have even been thinking about going back to work in a few years, once the kids start school. I want us to grow our family before I teach classes again, though. I want to be able to take care of our children and spend time with them. I’ve been blessed with a supportive spouse, and Reilly loves the idea of me being a stay-at-home mom. We’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last few months, after the doctor gave us the all-clear.
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