* * *
Two days later…
Fiona is on my mind before I even open my eyes. I can feel the warmth and the weight of her lying in bed beside me, and I instantly feel the need to touch her. Pulling up to prop myself on my elbow, I gaze down at her. She is peaceful and beautiful, her hair spread on the pillow, and one hand rested on her chest. I brush my fingertips over one breast and lean down to blow a stream of cool air over the peak, watching it tighten and goosebumps rise along her delicate skin. Watching her face, I continue the feathery touch down the center of her chest and belly, and into the valley of her hip bones. I pause here, feeling her pulse just beneath the skin. She's waking up as I bring my fingers down to trace along the inside of one thigh, and then the other. When the tips delve into her folds, her back arches and her hand grasps my wrist.
Fiona lifts her head and looks down at me.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Sore," she admits.
Considering I have had her in every position I could think of over the last two days, I imagine she is. But that doesn't stop me from craving at least a little bit of her. I duck my head down and kiss her belly. She whimpers softly, and her thighs slide subtly apart.
"I'm sorry you're sore," I say. "Let me kiss it and make it feel better."
Adjusting my position, so I am lying with my head between her thighs, I carefully ease her legs open, flicking the tip of my tongue across her clit. She makes a happy, cooing sound and I continue, sweeping my tongue across her in broad, slow licks. Soon I taste a rush of her wetness in my mouth, and I shift my focus to concentrating directly on her most sensitive curves. Within seconds, Fiona is trembling in my arms, her skin flushed and a satisfied smile on her lips as she savors the orgasm that greeted her day like the sunrise. She tucks her head onto my chest and strokes along my stomach with her fingers. I hear a soft, sad sigh slip out of her, and I brush a strand of hair away from her face to look down at her.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
She shakes her head.
"No," she says.
"What's on your mind?"
"Do you remember at the end of the summer you used to wrap your arms around me and say you wished we could stay that way forever?"
I smile at the memory.
"Of course. I always meant it."
"I feel that way now."
My heart clenches slightly in my chest.
"Why?" I ask.
"I'm going to have to go back to work soon. My vacation time is almost over."
Some of the happiness I’ve been feeling drains out of me, but I don't say anything. I had been willfully ignoring the reality of the world beyond us, pretending she would forget everything, and we could just pretend like we had never changed.
But she does remember the life beyond right now, and she wants to return to it. The truth is, everything has changed, just not in the way I wanted. We've both put everything out into the open, poured ourselves into each other, and instead of it being a beginning, she seems ready to turn it into a resolution. I really did miss my chance.
"I know," I say. "It's gone by really fast."
There's a beat of silence.
"It has."
Chapter Sixteen
Fiona
That afternoon...
We are silent for most of the drive back toward the house from the cabin. I don't want to focus on the stinging sensation in my heart, but I can't get my mind off it. Everything had been going so well with Cade, I hadn't wanted to think of anything beyond whatever moment we were living in. I tried not to think beyond each kiss, touch, or laugh. The time Cade and I had spent together, and finally finding out the answers to the questions I had carried with me, had forced my mind out of its bubble. It reminded me I can't just think about now. I have to think of the past. I have to consider the future.
I put myself out there for him. I gave him the opportunity to tell me he doesn't want me to go back to the city, or that it doesn’t matter my vacation is almost over. I gave him the chance to finish what we started so long ago. But he didn't.
Cade doesn't seem to only be thinking about right now. He didn't even flinch when I mentioned it was almost time for me to leave the house and return to my normal life. He barely reacted at all. After everything we'd said to each other, and everything we’d unlocked together, I expected more than that. He wasn't going to try to control my life or tell me what to do. He'd made that clear. But that wasn't what I want. I want to know he feels what I do. I want to know there's more to this than just the last few weeks we've shared. Even if he didn't try to stop me from leaving, at least I thought he would at least try to plan a time for us to see each other again. He seemed so invested in the future we could have had, but it seems that now he's opened up and told me what I needed to hear, he's content with where we are, and isn’t considering anything else. I don't want to admit how much it hurts, but the pain is still heavy in my chest as we pull back up to the house and I notice a strange car in the drive.
"Who's that?" Cade asks.
"Did you order something else?" I ask.
"Not that's due to be delivered today.”
Cade parks his truck, and we climb out. As soon as my foot touches the bottom step to the front porch, I hear loud laughter billowing somewhere inside the house. One of the laughs rises above the others, and I turn to look at Cade.
"Did you know she was coming back?”
He shakes his head.
"No," he answers. "I haven't heard from her since the last time we talked on the phone."
I took my key out of my bag in the truck, but before I use it, I try the doorknob. Just as I expect it will, the door swings open. We walk inside amid another peal of laughter from the kitchen. Cade and I walk toward it, and when we step inside, we find Grammie holding court. Not only has she arrived back at the house without letting us know she was coming, but she brought along a gaggle of her friends, and they are gathered around her as she sits in a chair turned away from the table.
"Grammie?" I say.
She looks up at us, and her eyes brighten.
"Fiona! Cade!" she calls happily. "You're home!"
"So are you," I say, stepping into the hug she offers with her out-flung arms. "You didn't tell us you'd be back today."
"I know. I wanted it to be a surprise. But then when we got here, you weren't here."
"You could have called us and let us know. We were... away for a couple days."
"Away? What do you mean you were away for a couple days?"
I look at Cade with uncertainty. His eyes widen slightly, telling me to be careful what I say. Grammie doesn't know about his wealth or the expansive reach of his business, which means I can't just tell her we decided to take a break from working on the house to do some glamping because of the chaos of his projects. Now that I know the truth, he plans on telling her, but this isn't the time.
"Cade is consulting for a new woodworking program up at the high school," I say. "We went up to the school to check on the progress, and then went on a trip to the woods."
"To visit the trees?"
I think about this for a beat.
"Sure."
It's not a lie, there have been enough of those, but it gives him the space to approach the situation in his own way, and to avoid telling her what we were really up to in that cabin tucked in the woods. I don't want to open the pain in my heart any further by talking about it with her. At least, not now.
"That's wonderful!" Grammie gushes. "That's going to make a difference in a lot of lives."
I nod, giving what I hope is a convincing smile.
"I think so," Cade says. "That's the plan anyway."
"How is your ankle feeling, Grammie?" I ask.
Grammie glances down at her leg, and then back at me, her eyes slightly widened.
"I experienced a miraculous recovery! Dr. Barnes is a credit to his field. What he was able to do for me…"
"I know you aren't hurt."
"Damn."
"You do realize Dr. Barnes is standing right behind you. In a Hawaiian shirt."
The man I recognize as the fellow senior who bundled Grammie onto the stretcher and hurried her into the ambulance waves at me.
"Damn. Well... aren't you glad I'm not suffering?"
I lean down and hug her again.
"What am I going to do with you, Grammie?"
"I don't know, but you're going to have to think of it pretty fast."
"What do you mean?"
"We aren't going to be here long. We're just on a stop."
"A stop?"
"We're on our way to the next retirement community. After we visited the first one, some of the ladies started talking about features and amenities in their own communities. We decided to turn it into a party so we can compare. Each of the ladies is taking turns hosting us so we can see what their community is all about. I feel like it's a good opportunity for me."
"What do you mean?"
"This is my chance to see what each of the communities has to offer and experience them so I can pick my favorite. You never know what's going to happen. I might decide to leave the house and retire."
Considering this woman's entire work experience was an industrial job during the war, which she promptly stopped as soon as Gramps came home, I don't think she really gets to consider retirement. As for leaving the house and ending up in a retirement community, the chances of that are pretty damn slim. If anything, this whole experience has just demonstrated she's far too independent and unpredictable for that to happen. Besides, she'd probably end up getting kicked out of any retirement community she tried to move to, anyway.
* * *
That night…
I dip my head into Cade's bedroom and find him pulling back the covers on the bed.
"Goodnight," I say.
"You aren't coming to bed?" he asks.
"No, I'm going to my room."
"I'll come with you, then."
"Considering Grammie is right across the hall, and the rest of the house is scattered with the traveling cast of The Golden Girls, I think it's probably a better idea if we just both stick to our own rooms tonight. I'll see you in the morning."
He walks up to me and reaches for my hands, pulling me up to him.
"We could sneak away for a little while."
He leans forward and kisses the side of my neck. The feeling makes my stomach flutter and my legs feel weak, but I step back from him, shaking my head. I can't let myself stay this wrapped up in him. This will be over soon, and it will hurt less if I just let it go.
"I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Cade."
Before he can say anything else, I walked out of his room, closing the door behind me. When I get into my room, I find Grammie waiting for me.
"Hi, Honey."
"Hi, Grammie. Is everything OK? Do you need something?"
She shakes her head.
"No. I just wanted to talk to you. I've missed you while I was gone."
"It sounds like you've been having fun, though," I say, walking past her and climbing into bed.
"I have," she says. She smiles, and I realize the smile is touching her eyes in a way I haven't seen in a long time. "And how about you? Have you been having fun during your vacation?"
"I'm not sure I can technically call it a vacation," I say. "I've been helping Cade with the house every day."
She nods as she perches on the edge of the bed.
"You've gotten a lot done. It looks great." She looks at me for a beat and smiles. "It's so good to see the two of you together. It makes me really happy."
I feel tears stinging my eyes.
"Don't let it make you too happy," I say. "I have no idea what's going on."
"What do you mean?"
I let out a long breath.
"Exactly what I said. I have no idea what's going on. I was so mad when I first saw him. I wanted nothing to do with him. I didn’t even want to be in the same room together. But then things started to change. I remembered our time here, and realized…" My breath catches in my throat, and I pause until the tight feeling in my chest disappears. "But it hasn't done any good. We aren't together, and we haven't talked about ever being together. He hasn't even asked if we're going to see each other again when I go back home. I don't know what I'm supposed to think."
"Have you said anything to Cade about it?" she asks.
I shake my head.
"I don't know what to say," I say. "I don't even know if I should say something. Maybe it's too much of an expectation that there would be anything beyond these few weeks. Maybe this was our chance to reconnect, heal the past wounds, and get some closure. It's just been too long, Grammie. We've both gone our separate ways and lived separate lives. Too much has happened."
"No," Grammie says. "I don’t believe that."
"I don't know if you have a choice. I don't know if either of us does."
"Yes, I do. Because I know that's not what's happening."
"How?"
"Some people in this world are just meant to be together, Fiona. It doesn't always happen. It's not guaranteed for everyone. Most people are going to find someone and fall in love because of the circumstances of their life. But not everybody. Some people, a few rare and lucky people, find their other half in another person – who they belong with. You and Cade have that, Fiona."
"Did you and Gramps?"
"Yes," Grammie answers without hesitation. "He and I were desperately in love from the first time I laid eyes on him and stayed that way until the last. I still love him. I know without even a second of doubt we were put on this Earth to be together, and to live our lives together. But I also know life doesn't always work out how we want it to. If it did, I would still have my husband here with me. He was the most wonderful part of my life, and I miss him with every fiber of my being. That doesn't mean I stop living or that I can't still enjoy myself and do other things. I know from the greatest depths of my heart Gramps would want me to be happy and make the most out of life. He will always be with me, and I will always love him, but I have a life ahead of me to live, and it's my job to live it.”
Grammie is rarely so calm and focused, and her words sink right to my heart. She leans over to kiss my forehead the way she always did when I was a little girl, and I lay down, resting my head on the pillow. I'm not aware of my body heading toward sleep as I think about our conversation over and over, but suddenly there is only darkness.
* * *
The next morning…
I suddenly snap awake rather than slowly rising out of sleep the way I usually do. There are no lingering effects of sleep making me want to stay in bed any longer this morning. Getting up, I slip on a robe and start down the stairs. I immediately notice the furniture throughout the living room and parlor is no longer draped with Grammie's friends, and just as I get to the bottom of the stairs, the front door opens, and Dr. Barnes comes in. The sweatband around his head has made his white hair stand up on end, and his festive windbreaker suit may be older than I am.
He grins at me.
"Just getting my morning walk in," he says. "I came back for Annie. She's going to take a second round with me."
A cheerful-looking woman in a peach jogging suit appears from around the corner, and they wave at me before leaving. I had woken up feeling like I had an early grasp of the day ahead of me, but now I feel like most of it has already happened without me.
Just like I've gotten accustomed to each morning, the smell of coffee lures me toward the kitchen. As I approach, though, voices coming from inside the room slow my steps, and stop me right outside the door.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Cade says. "I thought this whole plan was working out. I thought it was going to be fine. But then she just closed up."
"Don't worry," Grammie says. "You two are supposed to be together. You always have. Fiona will come around eventually. She's still trying to figure everything out. But I've seen in her eyes that she still carries you i
n her heart. She always has."
Something about the conversation makes me feel extremely uneasy. I don't like that they are talking about me, but I'm especially uncomfortable with the way Grammie is talking about me like I've had no part in this – like I'm just following along some master plan that's been in place all along.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. The two of you have finally figured out that you're in love with each other, and soon enough you will have the relationship you were always meant to have. You'll see. That was the whole point of having you two here, anyway."
The burst of anger exploding in my chest makes me storm into the room.
"How dare you?" I ask.
Cade and Grammie look up at me from where they sit at the table, both visibly shocked at my sudden appearance in the room. The pink fuzzy robe and unbrushed hair probably aren’t helping, but I don't care. I suddenly feel irrationally consumed with anger toward both of them.
"Fiona, what's wrong?" Grammie asks.
"How long has this been in the works?" I ask. "Just tell me that. How long have the two of you been scheming like this?"
"What are you talking about?" Cade asks, standing up and moving like he's going to take a step toward me.
I hold up a hand and take a step back.
"Stop. Both of you. I can't believe you would treat me like some little pawn. This is exactly what I told you about, Cade. You have both always tried to make decisions for me rather than letting me live my own life." I look between them and shake my head in disappointment. "I don't want this. I don't want any of this. I don't want to be manipulated and lied to just to fit in with some vision you two have for my future." I look at my grandmother. "I can't believe you would go to these lengths just to push Cade and me together. Why can't you just accept it didn't work out for us? We were kids, Grammie. It was a crush that we both got swept up in because it was somewhere for us to hide from the rest of the world. But it didn't work. It fell apart. You have to accept that and move on."
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