For the rest of the night, we celebrate the Summer Festival together. We dance and laugh, feeding each other, and holding hands with what feels like even more significance as the night wears on. It’s like we've slipped back to last year, but now there is even more between us. A heat that neither of us can deny.
By the time we get back to my apartment of rooms back at the palace, Aurora has long since gone to bed. I relieve the nanny, still feeling strange about trusting someone else to take care of my baby, and Christian and I sneak quietly into the room with her bassinet. Standing close to each other, we gaze down at our precious daughter. It amazes me how much she's grown in only the few weeks she's been alive. Every day she seems to get even bigger and we discover more about the tiny personality inside her.
I feel Christian's fingertips touch my elbow and run down to my hand. He intertwines our fingers and guides me slowly out of the nursery and into my bedroom. We pause, and for an instant we are still, our breath mingling in between us in anticipation.
Christian kisses me softly but pulls back. His tawny eyes smolder at me, and I feel myself falling into them. I'm unable to resist as he leans forward and captures my lips again. I surrender fully to his kiss as my resistance melts away. He holds me tightly in his arms and kisses me with an intensity that leaves me breathless.
Christians tongue touches my lips, tempting them open so he can explore my mouth. I hear him groan as I relinquish to his touch, but he continues to move with slow, controlled patience. Our tongues play with each other and our kiss deepens. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my hand in his hair in an attempt to find stability. His hands slide down the curve of my waist, over my hips, and down my thighs. I feel his fingers gather my skirt, so it creeps up my legs, allowing him access to my upper thighs. In one swift motion, he pulls me up off the floor and holds me against his body. I wrap my legs around his hips, touching my head forward against Christian’s chest. I feel protected and treasured in his arms as he carries me toward the bed.
Lowering me carefully at the end of the bed, Christian lifts my skirt to my waist and lowers himself to his knees in front of me. I run my hand along the side of his face, cupping his cheek. He turns his face, pressing his lips into my palm, before placing his hands on the insides of my knees to press them apart. When my thighs are spread apart to his satisfaction, he yanks me forward against him so my core rocks against his chest.
I fully surrender myself to Christian’s hands as he exerts his powerful, yet nurturing, control over me. He slips his hands under the straps of my dress, easing them off my shoulders, kissing my exposed skin as he lowers them over my arms. Another tug pulls the dress down to my ribs, revealing my bare breasts to him. Christian releases a low groan as he looks at me, taking all of me in, and admiring me after so long apart. He's restraining himself, but I can see the hunger and lust in his eyes, and I ache for him to let go.
I run my fingers through his hair, the movement causing my dress to fall to my hips. Christian's feathery touch sweeps across my breasts, tracing the gentle swells up their sides and flicking my already taut nipples. I shiver with his patient, enticing touch, and wrap my hands around the back of his neck.
"Lick me,” I whisper.
Groaning low in his throat, Christian dips his head forward to sweep his tongue across my right breast. He pauses, then sucks further, drawing my breast fully into his mouth so he can suck my nipple into a tight, aching peak. I arch into the feeling, holding his head lightly to encourage him as he moves to the other side and repeats the slow, intense attention on my other breast.
While he continues to kiss and nuzzle my breasts, Christian slides his hand under my skirt and grabs my panties. I move back enough to bring my legs together and remove the now damp scrap of lace. Dropping it to the floor, he stands and loosens his pants. I reach up and cover his hands with mine to stop him. Our eyes meet, and I hold his gaze. I move his hands away, so I can move his pants over his hips and down myself. Parting my legs again, I wrap my hands around the backs of Christians thighs and urge him to step forward between my own, bringing him even closer. I lower my gaze and finally see him fully again. His cock stands hard and erect and looks so delectable it makes my mouth water. I can't resist leaning forward to run the tip of my tongue slowly up the underside of the head. It jumps slightly and responds to my touch, and Christian makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat.
Smiling at his reaction, I open my mouth further, and draw his cock in with my tongue. Christian rests one hand on my shoulder, and the other on the back of my head. He moans loudly as I slide my lips to the tip of his cock, flicking my tongue, tasting his sweet fluid. I take him fully into my mouth, letting his hot, swollen head dip into my throat. Christian's hips begin to rock, gently thrusting into my mouth as his hand guides me into a smooth rhythm. I let my mind go, allowing me to revel in the taste of him, the feeling of every vein and ridge against my tongue and lips as I concentrate on worshipping his cock.
Suddenly he pushes back on my shoulder, withdrawing from my mouth completely. I look up and see him panting, his dark eyes glazed as he fights to gain control.
"Move up," he instructs.
I comply, taking a moment to toss my dress to the floor before crawling up the bed to rest my head on the pillow. Christian crawls up beside me and lays on his side. His hand traces down to my belly and I squirm in anticipation. At the same moment, his mouth lowers to mine, kissing me deeply, one finger dips down into my wet, aching pussy. I cry out at the touch, and he pauses, letting my body grow accustomed to his attention. My body sinks down into the mattress as he continues to stroke me. His face nuzzles against mine, licking my neck as he nurtures me with the tip of his finger, preparing me for him.
It's been so long since he touched me, I feel like I can barely restrain myself. After a few minutes of his intoxicating touch, though, Christian shifts his body, so he rises up over me. He brings his hands down, pinning my arms on the mattress on either side of my body. His strength takes my breath away, and I tremble as he rocks his body back, drawing his erection down the center of my belly and between my thighs so the tip rests right against my slit. He climbs off of me only long enough to go to my bag in the closet and pull out a condom. When it's in place, he gets back in the same position. I draw my thighs further apart, the movement causing my body to press against his and his cock to briefly slip into me.
"Kiss me," I say through a tremulous breath.
Christian lowers his mouth to mine, bringing one hand to my hip to hold himself steady as he sinks inside of me. I gasp as he stretches me open, filling me completely with his cock. Without pausing, he starts to roll his hips, and soon I'm whimpering beneath him as he thrusts deep within me. Lifting my head from the pillow, I kiss his shoulder, and bury my face into the curve of his neck.
Lowering me back down onto the bed, Christian withdraws, and uses one hand to roll me over on my belly. Tucking his hand under my hips, he guides me up onto my hands and knees, and in one fast thrust he's inside me again. An even more intense sensation overtakes me, and frantic moans pour from my lips as he slams into me from behind in a hard, demanding rhythm.
My pleasure feels like it’s spiraling into orbit in my body, and I can feel the tension building in my hips, belly, and thighs. Christians grunts grow faster and louder, telling me he's climbing his own peak right along with me, and suddenly he slips his hand down my hips, pressing his fingertips to my clit, rubbing me at the same rhythm of his pace. It takes only seconds of that feeling to send me crashing into an all-consuming orgasm. I throw my head back, screaming his name just as I feel him throb deep inside of me. Christian leans forward and bites my shoulder to muffle the sounds of his own release. We stay balanced in this position, allowing my quivering core to meet his pulses, milking him as he comes into the condom within me.
Finally, our bodies relax, and we ease down onto the mattress. He gathers me close to his chest, and presses a kiss into my now tangled hair. I bury myself
into the curve of his body, re-discovering a place of comfort and familiarity I have been missing for so long.
"He was in a car accident," Christian says into the silence several minutes later.
"What?" I ask, startled out of the sleep that was starting to take over.
"My brother. He was in a car accident on his way to a public event."
I feel a chill roll down my spine as I think of how I lost my dad.
"I'm so sorry," I say.
He doesn't say anything else, but wraps both arms around me, holding me tighter.
* * *
One month later…
An unexpected wave of emotion hits me as Christian carries Aurora up to the small altar below where his parents sit on their thrones. It's all so surreal, so much of the pomp and circumstance Christian had talked about, and yet it touches something inside me to watch him present her. The ceremony marks her turning three-months-old. I've learned this is an important milestone in Cambria, though I'm still unsure of why that specific duration of time has such significance to them.
This is the day Aurora is formally presented to the King and Queen and is welcomed into the royal family. It's a tradition they would have followed even if Christian and I were married before she was born, but it seems to carry even more weight in our situation. Watching my daughter formally welcomed into the lineage and announced as next in the line of succession after Christian, fills me with incredible pride. Even as I watch, though, there's something else looming in the back of my mind. Passing this ninety-day milestone with Aurora reminds me of the impending end of the ninety-day window for my marriage. It's only a few weeks away, and I realize Christian and I haven't talked about it at all.
I wonder how he really feels about our relationship and the type of future he wants for us. I know there are so many conversations we should have had over the last month, so many things we were supposed to talk about. I know those conversations can't wait any longer. As much as I don't want to threaten the beautiful, tentative bond that's formed between us, these are things we have to confront.
After the ceremony, we celebrate with Christian's parents and our invited guests. I miss Tabitha deeply. I wish she could be here with me, but I understand why she was reluctant to leave home. She and Glenn have been back to his father's house several times, and each visit seems to bring more ominous news about his condition. She can't leave for days at a time, especially to travel so far away. For now, I have to be content with sending her pictures and letting her talk over the phone to Aurora, who babbles away happily as if she understands.
When the day of celebration finally ends, and the palace is quiet again, I settle Aurora into the crib she has recently graduated into from her bassinet, and kiss her goodnight. I want to give her the family she deserves, but to do that, I have to talk to Christian. I can only hope he feels the same as I do.
I roam through the palace looking for Christian, but I can't seem to find him. I've nearly given up and decide to return to my apartment, knowing I'll see him in the morning, when I hear his voice. It's hushed, almost as though he's keeping it purposely low. As I'm walking toward it, I stop around a corner, so he doesn't see me. Peeking in his direction, I see him sitting in a massive wingback chair across from Frederik, who sits in a similar piece of furniture. Both hold glasses with amber-colored liquid and seem to be having an intense conversation.
"Do you really think it's a possibility?" Frederik asks.
"We both know it's a possibility since the day we got married," Christian says. “The ninety days are going to be up in just a few weeks, and I need to be prepared in case Piper and I decide to dissolve our marriage then."
"What do you need to know?"
"Even if we end the marriage, Aurora's position is safe, right? She won't lose her standing in the family, or any of her rights if Piper and I aren't together anymore? I know getting divorced and getting an annulment are two different things. And I want to make sure I fully understand how any decision we make might impact Aurora."
"I have to be honest with you, Christian. I've never seen a situation quite as complex as yours. Annulments in Cambria are much simpler to get than in other places, but they can have far-reaching impacts in other ways. Because annulling your marriage on the grounds that you weren't fully informed of the implications of your relationship when you entered the union will essentially mean the marriage itself didn't exist, so any influence that is a direct result of that union will likewise no longer exist."
"So, you're saying if we were to get our marriage annulled, it won't work to secure Aurora’s place in the royal line."
"Yes," Frederik says. "Unfortunately, that's the case. And because your daughter is a direct result of your relationship with Piper, you would, in effect, be sacrificing her place."
"I can't do that," Christian says. "The whole reason for us to get married like we did was so she could have her lineage. We’ll just have to think of something else—"
I can't listen anymore. Tears are already flowing down my cheeks, and my chest feels like it's going to explode with the emotion I'm trying to hold back. Moving as quietly as I can, I run back to my rooms. But they aren’t my rooms anymore. In reality, they never were. I spend the next two hours packing, and by the time I hear Christian walk into his room to sleep, I'm ready to leave. When he wakes up tomorrow morning, I will have taken a cue from him, and disappeared.
Chapter Seventeen
Piper
The pain in my chest hasn't gotten any better by the time I get home the next day. My phone rings more than a dozen times before I shut it off. In the note I left him, I specifically asked Christian not to call me. I don't want to hear from him anymore. I can't let him string me along or hurt me like this anymore. It devastates me that he's not even willing to think about the possibility of us having a future. I feel unbelievably used and manipulated. Now I know that he kept me wrapped around his finger that entire time, so I would stick around for the full three months, rather than causing any problems. It's humiliating and agonizing. I know it’s not realistic, but I never want to hear his voice again.
I admit, it isn't the pain or the embarrassment that sent me scrambling home. Instead, it's sheer fear of the power of Christian's family. I know if he decided to send me away, he could easily keep Aurora from me. I'd have no footing against the royal family. If he wants to keep the baby, but doesn't want me in his life, he could take her without even a second thought. I couldn't give him that opportunity. Casting me away is one thing, but I won't let him take my child from me. I am willing to do whatever it takes to protect her.
In the note I left him, I told Christian that I know he cares more about his own reputation, and about how people perceive his child, than he ever has about me or our relationship. I told him I plan to return to America and raise her as I had intended to before he showed up on my porch. I don't want any interference from him or his parents. I made that painstakingly clear to him, asking him to not try and get in touch with me, and promising that I will do the same. That way, I won't cause any trouble for him, and he can go about his life however he wants to. When Aurora is old enough, I’ll tell her the truth, and she can decide the life she wants to live.
I know the decision to come back home impacts far more than just my relationship with Christian. Not living in the palace anymore means that I'm back to being uncertain about my place in life, and what the future holds for me, and for Aurora. I have to find a way to support both of us, and give her the existence I dreamed for her. That starts with figuring out what to do about money. If I'm being real with myself, the few writing projects I half-assed aren't going to be enough to sustain us. I need something more substantial, but while I wait to find that, I need to secure the resources to properly care for both of us.
The decision to move out of the house my father left for me, and sell it, was excruciating. It’s just as difficult as the when I decided to walk away from Christian, but in a different way. Leaving Christian behind me severe
d my connection to the future I thought I might have. Selling this house cuts me off from the life I led, and so many of my remaining tangible memories of my father. No matter how much I dread it, I know I can't put it off. Living in a house this big just doesn't make sense when it's only the two of us, and the money from the sale will give me a cushion to carry us until I figure things out. It will also give me more flexibility to take my time to decide what I want to do next. Maybe I won't even stay in Westover. It's starting to feel more and more like I'm borrowing a life that doesn't belong to me when I'm here. Maybe it used to be mine, but not anymore.
Four days later I've packed up most of the house, and it's stuffed to the brim with boxes. Many contain items left behind when my father died, and I'm still trying to decide what to do with them. I finally decide to tackle the rest of my bedroom. It’s been the most challenging room for me to pack up. I guess because it makes it all real. Packing up the rest of the house feels therapeutic. I’m finally removing my father's belongings, and even a few things of Tabitha’s from when they were married – something I should have done years ago. I can tell myself I'm just refreshing the house, or that everything is being donated or going to storage. I'm not really leaving. Packing up my bedroom is an entirely different story. This is my space. It's the same bedroom I've slept in since moving here with my father when I was a child, and though it's gone through many changes since then, I'm surrounded by those peaceful memories when I'm here. Going through these belongings and putting them away means admitting to myself how much my life has changed.
Aurora's bouncing happily in her bouncy seat a few feet away as I sit on my knees in front of the closet. I have a terrible habit of the piling things on my closet floor. I've done it as long as I can remember. Every time I clean out my closet, I have the best intentions of maintaining a clean floor. I pack items in plastic totes that I try to stack neatly. I've invested in organizational tools. No matter what I do, though, within a few weeks, the bottom of my closet is rapidly nearing the space where my clothes hang. That's why I've decided to start here first.
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