In My Wildest Fantasies

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In My Wildest Fantasies Page 19

by Julianne MacLean


  His blue eyes clouded over with disdain. “Not all of them.”

  “No, of course not.” She moved gracefully around the bed, closing a hand around the ornately carved bedpost, running her open palm over the smooth, flowing grooves in the mahogany. “Vincent would never thank you for anything, would he? And he’s the only one with any sense, isn’t that right?”

  She stood over him, taking in his tempting virility while she remembered her mother-in-law’s advice. Just love him…

  She pulled the pins from her hair and shook it loose down her back, then climbed onto the bed. “I know what you’re doing, you know.” She straddled her husband’s hips and sat down upon his enormous erection, swiveling her hips, rubbing against him. “You’re trying to make me hate you, trying to prove you are right and I am wrong, that I was mistaken to believe you were good and reliable, and that our marriage is doomed like every other.”

  He took her hips in his hands and thrust himself about, meeting her smooth, erotic undulations with proficient movements of his own.

  “Maybe I am,” he said, “but admitting that doesn’t change anything. We still deceived one another, and we both have very good reason not to trust much of anything in this marriage. So there we are. Doomed.”

  “Forever the pessimist.”

  “There will be fewer disappointments that way.”

  She wiggled and squirmed over his amorous erection, growing harder by the second. “And fewer joys.” Leaning forward, she pinned his arms over his head. “I might as well inform you now,” she said. “I am not going to let you do what you are attempting to do.”

  “And what is that?” He lifted his head off the pillow and tried to kiss her.

  She pulled back, just out of reach. “To spoil this marriage by pushing me away.”

  “I’m not pushing you away at the moment, darling. I would very much prefer it, actually, if you would come closer.”

  She did as he asked. She leaned down and kissed him, letting go of his arms so he could cup the back of her head in his hand and thrust his tongue into her mouth.

  “And how exactly do you intend to keep me from spoiling this marriage?” he asked, when she dragged her lips from his.

  “I’m going to allow you to make love to me.”

  He laughed. “Allow me to make love to you? I’m not the one on top.”

  Then his eyes narrowed, and he flipped her over onto her back and reached down to unfasten his trousers.

  “Who’s on top now?” she asked, while she wriggled her hips and tugged her skirts up to her waist.

  He shoved his pants down. “I am, and don’t forget it. You are mine now, Rebecca. No other man shall ever have you. Unbutton your bodice.”

  She understood what he wanted and needed from this. He wanted to prove that she belonged to him, that he was still in control of his emotions and his life and the future of this marriage.

  Perhaps she could have been more sensitive to that, or more resistant, but all she wanted was to give herself to him body and soul, because it was all true. She did belong to him, and she wanted him to know it.

  “Give me a chance to get my skirts out of the way,” she said breathlessly. “You could help, you know.”

  Panting with impatience, he leaned to the side on one elbow while he unbuttoned the bottom of her bodice, working his way up while she started at the top.

  As soon as it was free, she sat up and yanked it off her shoulders. At the same time, he was unfastening her skirts and drawers and wrenching them down over her hips.

  At last, their clothing was out of the way. Very quickly he positioned himself between her legs and moved until he found the precise location for his purposes, then thrust inside, smoothly and easily, for she was slick and wet and ready for him.

  She gasped with unrestrained lust, aching for more as he plunged deep and hard, again and again. He worked in and out of her, pounding furiously, moving inside her with voracious passion.

  “I cannot understand this,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut, surprising her with the passionate confession. “This madness. I cannot fight it. I must have you, Rebecca. Completely.”

  Nor could she understand it, as sensation overwhelmed reason. She could not even begin to contemplate the forces at work in this room. She had been so angry with him earlier for his arrogance and the withdrawal of his gentler affections, and for his lack of forgiveness, when he was as guilty as she.

  Yet she still wanted him and would do anything for him. All she knew at this moment was the tremendous power of her impending orgasm, coursing through her nerve endings to the very center of her being. Pleasure assailed her, and she released a muffled scream into her husband’s mouth as she felt at the same time the hot gush of his climax pour into her.

  He collapsed heavily upon her, and they lay there in the dazzling afternoon light, their desires fulfilled, their bodies damp with perspiration, limp and weak, but magnificently sated.

  “I am yours,” she whispered in his ear as she ran a finger up and down his smooth, slick back. “I was never Rushton’s.”

  “Don’t say his name again,” he softly said. “Ever. Just the sound of it infuriates me.”

  She could barely breathe under the tremendous weight of him. “Nothing would please me more than to never say it again, or hear it. But you must promise me something, too.”

  He rolled to his side and faced her, waiting in silence for her request.

  “You must promise to at least try and forgive me for our unfortunate beginning, as I will forgive you. I want you to love me in return,” she said. “If not today—someday.”

  He rested his head on his arm. “We are still strangers, you know.”

  “But we won’t be forever. Every day will bring us closer if you will let me love you, which you must, because no matter what has happened between us, now that I have found you, I cannot live without you.”

  He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. “Do not rely on me for your happiness, Rebecca. You must find other things to occupy yourself besides me, because I cannot be responsible for all that.”

  She sat up. “You are not responsible for my happiness.”

  “But you just said you cannot live without me.”

  “It was an expression of love,” she told him, “and I warn you, I will say other things like it in the future. I want us to be everything to each other.”

  He spoke in a calm voice, his gaze steady. “That is not the kind of love I ever imagined myself wanting.”

  “What other kind is there?” she asked, unable to understand how he could think or feel any other way.

  He stared at her for a long time. “I honestly don’t know, and I am not sure I wish to find out. It is not a question I wish to explore.”

  Chapter 18

  Every morning for a week, Devon woke to the sound of wind and rain pelting against his window, rattling the panes. The river had risen higher than anyone remembered in fifty years, and he heard from a servant, who had gone into the village the day before, that a bridge had collapsed in the next county and a farmer crossing over it on foot was swept away.

  The duke was not taking the news well. He was pacing constantly, whether in the privacy of his own bedchamber or in full view in the drawing rooms. He wandered the corridors, loitered in the gallery, and even skulked about in the servants’ wing. Occasionally he would look up at a portrait of an ancestor and apologize in a vague, disturbing way, which the family took note of with concern.

  “Do you think we should summon the doctor again?” Blake asked, late one afternoon, while he and Devon were alone in the study, working on estate matters.

  Devon was seated at the desk inspecting the ledgers, which he had been spending a lot of time on lately, for it kept his mind off the two things that were a constant concern to him: his father’s madness, and the antagonism he still felt regarding his wife’s former engagement.

  He wished he could let it go, but for some reason he could not. It still
incensed him on a daily basis. Every time he looked at her, he thought of that other man who had believed she would be his, and found himself wondering what conversations they’d had in the past, what this man knew of her, and how he had reacted to the news that she was now another man’s wife.

  “Devon?”

  He blinked a few times, then laid down his pen and looked at his brother. “I’m sorry…. Yes?”

  “Should we summon the doctor again?” Blake asked, repeating his earlier question.

  Devon labored to bring his mind back to the subject at hand. “Dr. Lambert has not been helpful in the past. He would no doubt continue to tell us this behavior is normal, which I suppose it is, if it is simply old age.”

  “But perhaps he could give Father a tonic or something to ease his mind or help him sleep.”

  Devon leaned back in his chair. “I am of the opinion that it is time to call on someone new, someone who has some experience with this kind of thing. Someone who does not expect to be named in the will.”

  “Someone from London?”

  “That is what I am thinking.” He leaned forward and picked up his pen again. “Didn’t Mother work on a hospital benefit last Christmas? Perhaps she would know someone.”

  “It is worth a try,” Blake said.

  Just then, the door swung open and hit the wall, and the estate steward, Mr. Jacobs, entered with their father, who strode across the room in a wild frenzy.

  “Devon,” he said. “Devon…”

  Startled by the abrupt interruption and the panic in his father’s voice, Devon rose from his chair. “What is it? What has happened?”

  Mr. Jacobs inclined his head and spoke in a calm voice. “Good afternoon, Lord Hawthorne. There is some news about the fields to the east.”

  “News!” the duke shouted. “It is not news, it is the end!”

  The steward’s gaze darted uneasily to the duke. “I thought you should know, my lord,” he said to Devon, “that some of the fields require attention. The drainage ditches are not performing as they should.”

  Devon glanced at his father, who was having difficulty breathing and was now tugging at his cravat.

  “You are here to tell me,” Devon said, “that the fields are flooding?”

  “Yes, my lord.”

  Wonderful.

  “Do you hear that?” his father said, pointing at the steward. He gazed incredulously at Blake. “What the blazes are you doing here? Why aren’t you in London with Vincent looking for a bride? And where is Garrett? Have you reached him yet? Does he know? Why has he not returned?”

  “I have posted a letter,” Devon assured him, “but it will take some time to reach him, and it will be longer still, before we hear a reply.”

  “But what are we going to do in the meantime?”

  Devon moved out from behind the desk and went to pour a glass of brandy. He handed it to his father. “There is no need to worry. Blake and I will accompany Mr. Jacobs to the east fields now and assess the damage, then find a solution. We will dig new drainage ditches ourselves if we have to. Everything will be fine, Father.”

  “But that will only buy us time,” he replied, sucking back a deep swig of brandy.

  Devon placed a comforting hand on his father’s shoulder. “Maybe time is all we need.”

  The duke looked into his eyes and stared blankly, then his breathing calmed. He strode to a chair. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right.”

  Mr. Jacobs watched the duke with further uneasiness, then cleared his throat and spoke to Devon. “My lord? Do you wish to see the fields now?”

  “Yes. Blake and I will accompany you. Have a groom ready the horses.”

  Blake followed him out of the library, but glanced over his shoulder at their father, who was finishing off the brandy in record time.

  “Maybe we should skip the horses, Devon, and take a rowboat instead.”

  Devon gave him a warning look. “Blake, I swear, if you tell me you’re starting to believe in this ridiculous curse, I will respectfully suggest that you go stick your finger in a dyke.”

  “Point taken,” his brother replied. “Horses will do.”

  Darkness had already descended upon the estate when Devon and Blake returned from the fields. They were both soaked through to the bone, their feet numb from the chill, their hands shaking with fatigue, blistered after working with the tenant farmers to dig extra drainage ditches where they were needed.

  The butler met them at the door and took their wet coats and hats, then they each ordered hot baths and brandy in their rooms. They took a glass together in the study while they waited for the baths to be drawn, then scaled the steps wearily and headed toward their private lodgings, each of them intent upon collapsing with all due haste as soon as they cleaned the grime from their skin.

  Devon said goodnight to his brother and started down the long corridor. A wall sconce flickered wildly as he passed by, then blew out.

  He stopped in his tracks, then started again. Reaching the next sconce, he kept his gaze fixed upon it. Thankfully it remained lit, illuminating one of the many palace portraits of his ancestor, the first Duke of Pembroke.

  Devon stopped in the corridor and looked up at it. It was disturbingly lifelike, as were all the paintings of that man. No wonder their father was obsessed with them and talked to them in the night.

  At last Devon reached his door and turned the knob to discover a fire roaring in the grate and a tub full of hot water waiting for him. He closed and locked the door, then stripped off his wet clothing and stepped into the steaming bath. When his hands touched the water, however, his blisters burned like hot pokers, so he rested his arms along the brass rim of the tub, palms up.

  His entire body was aching, his mind in a fog of exhaustion. The fields had indeed been flooded, and if his father had seen them for himself, he would have collapsed in a hysterical fit. Something had to be done, but for the life of him, he didn’t know what.

  Tipping his head back, he closed his eyes and tried to relax. It wasn’t a moment before he felt that pleasant feeling of floating as sleep approached, but a dripping sound pulled him from that place and compelled him to open his eyes.

  “I must be dreaming,” he said, recognizing his wife sitting beside him, leaning over the tub, dipping a cloth into the water and squeezing it out over his knees. “Because I see an angel.”

  Indeed, an angel she was, dressed in her flowing white nightgown, her red hair spilling in graceful waves down her back.

  Over the past week, they had made love every night, reading from Lydie’s diary when it suited them, but more often than not, leaving it in a drawer and exploring their own particular tastes and desires with enthusiasm and curiosity. Their lusty appetites were always in harmony, and the sex was, without question, superb.

  Rebecca was adventurous in every sense of the word, and he was thankful for that. It gave their relationship a clear dynamic, for they were both open about what they wanted in bed and had no reservations when it came to the use of titillating words and lusty language. They were each determined to satisfy and be satisfied, and it was the one thing they had in common—the daily anticipation of sex, and the question of when and where they would have it next.

  Devon knew their lovemaking was distracting them both from the secrets they had kept from each other before their marriage, as well as his unwillingness to surrender to the kind of love she wanted him to feel.

  Every night she said the words to him—I love you—and every night, he answered with a kiss. He simply could not return the sentiment. He was not capable of letting his emotions go free in that way, nor could he lie to her and say it just to please her.

  All of it was acceptable to him. He was quite happy to continue on in that way, enjoying sex but never speaking of more intimate matters of the heart. He suspected, however, it would just be a matter of time before Rebecca would want something more.

  “How did you get in here?” he asked, determined to enjoy things the way they w
ere, for as long as he could.

  “You’re not the only one who knows about the secret passages in this house,” she said. “Charlotte has been taking me around.”

  He glanced at the tall wardrobe by the bed with its double doors ajar. “Alas, my secret is no longer a secret. Where else did she take you? Have you seen the mice in the old south passage yet?”

  “The abbey underground? No, she refused to take me there. She said it gave her nightmares as a child, because she thought it was haunted by the monks.”

  He puckered his lips. “I think the nightmares came from her unscrupulous brothers, who told her terrible ghost stories about those monks.” His brow furrowed as he recalled certain, specific details from his boyhood. “Maybe there was a spider or two involved,” he added.

  She shook her head with disapproval, then changed the subject. “I heard you worked very hard today.”

  “Yes, and I will work my fingers to the bone again tomorrow, and the day after that if this weather continues.”

  “Not all landlords would do what you did,” she said, sounding wistful and pensive. “You picked up a shovel and worked side by side with your tenants. I am sure you won much respect and loyalty today.”

  He slid down and dunked his head, remained under water for a moment, then surfaced and wiped the back of a hand over his face.

  She noticed the blisters and calluses. “Oh, Devon.” She took hold of his hand and kissed it.

  “I’ll survive,” he said. “I am not so sure about the fields though.”

  “The rain will stop,” she assured him. “It’s just a bad spring, that’s all. Summer will soon be here, and we will all be roasting in the sunshine, praying for a cloudy day.”

  He tipped his head back upon the smooth rim of the tub. “I hope you’re right. For my father’s sake.”

  “Of course I am.”

  She reached for the soap and lathered it between her palms, then stood up, moved behind him, and began to wash his hair. He closed his eyes and relaxed while she massaged his scalp and stroked his temples firmly with her thumbs. He reveled in the sound of swabbing lather, enjoyed the sensation of his genitals swelling pleasurably beneath the water.

 

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