“No, she never mentioned anything, and neither did I.”
Sam pulled the box down and opened it. “Are these the right shoes?”
“Yes. You want to look for the money, or should I?”
“Go ahead,” Becky answered. “Your prints would be on them anyway. We don’t want to add Sam’s to the mixture.”
Jessica reached inside and found nothing in either shoe. “Looks like she’s been playing me for a fool for a lot longer than I thought.”
“You’ve only known her for approximately two months, right?”
Jessica nodded. “I must have mentioned the money about a month ago, at the Life Skills Class.”
“Do you remember who all was in the class that day?”
She shook her head. “No, but Susan keeps a log of the attendees.”
“Do you know about how much you had in there?”
“A thousand dollars. I kept meaning to deposit it in my account so it would be there for the earnest money on a house for Amy and me.”
“When was the last time you looked to be sure the money was there?” Becky asked.
Jessica didn’t need to think about that. “I added another hundred to it on payday last week.”
“I’m curious,” Becky said. “Why did you have a hidden stash instead of a savings account?”
“I started it a few years ago with however much I could sneak away from what Tim gave me for grocery money.” She hated revealing so much about her marriage, but after Deanne’s allegations, Jessica knew the police would have to know everything eventually. “When he died, I added a few hundred.”
Sam’s jaw tensed considerably. “Why did you keep it after Tim died?”
Jessica gave a moment’s thought to his question and shrugged. “I didn’t think much about it at first—it was a habit. Then when I moved in here, I knew I needed to move as soon as possible, so I kept adding to it when I could. I didn’t have much choice of apartments after the accident. School was in session and I had to get out of military housing within thirty days. I didn’t have an income of my own at the time. I was attending classes when the accident happened. I needed something cheap and close to medical care and the college. This wasn’t easy with the stairs, but it was safe and within our budget. So I kept the stash for an emergency fund. I finished my sociology degree in December, and started working at the shelter full-time in June. I planned to keep adding to it every month—until I heard about this house coming available. Then I decided to use it for that.”
“Thanks. I’ll add theft to the charges. I will need you to write all that you just told us in a statement for the case report,” Becky added. “Did anyone else ever see that money?”
“My parents, when they came this summer.”
“Good. When you can, have Sam bring you to the station to give your statement.”
“Not a problem,” Sam answered.
Becky left, and she and Sam were alone again. Jessica couldn’t help but wonder if Sam had second thoughts. He’d alluded to Tim’s abuse in his investigation of the accident, but she had never admitted it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Tim’s abuse then, Sam. I was afraid I’d lose Amy.”
“I suspected as much,” he said quietly. He held out his hand. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re using your experience to try to help others avoid and overcome abusive relationships. I admire that.”
She took his hand and looked into his gentle, brown eyes. “Really? You don’t think I’m a coward?”
“I’ve never thought you were a coward.”
There was an invitation in the smoldering depths of his eyes, and she was enthralled with his patience. He’d promised not to push her, and he’d kept that promise.
“We need to stay until an answering machine is delivered, right?”
Sam nodded.
“Why don’t we have a soda? Are you hungry?”
“What are you offering?”
She opened the freezer. “One of your mother’s casseroles.”
“Oh, yeah,” he said enthusiastically. He followed her to the kitchen and watched her put it into the microwave.
Jessica realized for the first time that Sam was wearing flannel sweatpants and a T-shirt, and looked quite comfortable. The T-shirt was old and thin and hugged his model physique.
“What else did Deanne say on the message?”
“Nothing you need to hear.”
She stepped close and wrapped her hands behind his neck. “I know you want to protect me, Sam, but I’m really okay with hearing it all. You promised.”
“I’m telling the truth—it’s nothing that would help you right now. I told you there would be times I couldn’t tell you everything. This is one of those times.” Anger flashed in his eyes and Sam gently pulled her into his arms. “I can’t stand to see you hurting anymore.”
Jessica closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. “What would I do without you?”
“Let’s not find out,” Sam said, and Jessica’s lips sought his, calming her doubts and fears.
Chapter Sixteen
Two days had gone by without any news on Amy’s disappearance. Sam and Lidia had done their best to keep Jessica busy, but despite their efforts, she was going stir-crazy. She hadn’t been home since receiving Deanne’s message, and at this point, no news wasn’t necessarily good news. Especially from her perspective.
After eating Lidia’s chicken cacciatore and angel hair pasta as a four-in-the-morning snack at her apartment, she and Sam had packed a few things in Jessica’s suitcase.
The next day, Sam had gone to the precinct to catch up on work while Jessica and Lidia baked cookies and made cherry pies for a women’s luncheon. Jessica had given out long before his mother, sleeping soundly from two until six. That evening while they watched a Western movie set in the Australian Outback, Sam asked her to go to church with him the next day.
Though she’d tried politely to get out of it, she’d finally agreed to go. Thoughts of her decision had interrupted her sleep all night. In one dream Jessica found herself saying the wrong thing to the pastor. In another she was singing off-key. When in a dream she was asked to read a passage from the Bible and couldn’t find the right chapter, Jessica gave up on sleep. She knew God had turned a deaf ear to her requests.
On Sunday morning Jessica brushed her hair out and finished applying makeup with shaking hands. She hadn’t been to church since seventh grade, when she had been asked to read the Scripture aloud and left the congregation in tears laughing, she’d been so nervous.
“I agreed with the mission statement of the shelter. I’ve given up drinking and parties. I’m being the best mother I can be,” Jessica muttered. “No one said that attending church was a requirement of the job. Why can’t You listen to me here at home, where I can’t make a fool of myself? And if You’re listening, please bring Amy home to me.”
She slipped her feet into her shoes and opened the door, not expecting to be greeted by Sam’s fist as he reached up to knock.
“That was close,” he said with a smile. “You ready?”
Jessica touched his arm and felt his muscle tense. “I’m really tired. I didn’t sleep very well last night, and I think one of us should stay home in case Deanne calls. Don’t you?”
“You don’t need to be nervous,” Sam said with that truth-seeking radar of his. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. I promise, no one will make you get up and say anything.”
There he went reading her mind again. Jessica stepped back.
“What makes you say that?”
One shoulder lifted. “Our previous pastor asked visitors to introduce themselves. Gabriel doesn’t usually. And if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll ask him specifically not to.”
“You’ll be up front, singing, right?” Now she was sounding paranoid.
“Jessica, there’s really nothing to worry about. This isn’t a test. It’s a time to praise and worship God. There are weeks when it’s the only peaceful time I have.” He pi
cked up a large folder and his Bible. “Let yourself relax and soak in His word. God knows what’s on your heart today. For one hour, let yourself take your mind off Amy. And for the record, I play the keyboard, an electronic piano.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” she said. That’s good, too, she thought. The pianist sits up front with the choir. Then I can hide in the back. “And your parents don’t go to this service?”
“They prefer the traditional service, so no, they usually don’t go to this one. Are you okay?” Sam took her hand and Jessica nodded. “Hand the search over to God, honey. He can handle it a lot better than we can.” He’d obviously read her mind again. “Just try to let God handle it for today.”
Jessica couldn’t imagine letting go of her worry and concern, even for an hour, but her going meant a lot to Sam. How could she not, after all he’d done for her this week?
“Can I get anything else for you? Did you take your pain medicine, antibiotics, anything else?”
“I’m okay, now, but if anyone mentions Amy…” Her eyes watered again and she added a few extra tissues to her purse as they walked out the door. “I’ll manage. Where are your folks?”
“They have a group of friends they have breakfast with on Sunday mornings after church, then Mom comes home and fixes Sunday dinner.”
“Why don’t I spend the afternoon at my apartment? I hate to keep intruding on your family.”
“You’re not intruding. Especially today. Lucia is working and Travis doesn’t usually come on Sundays. Every now and then my brother’s ex-wife, Emily, joins us, but that’s usually it.”
“I know this is none of my business, but if your brother divorced Emily, isn’t it extremely awkward that she’s still so close to the family?”
“It’s complicated.” Sam led Jessica through the yellow-and-blue living room and entered the code to reset the security system. “There weren’t many opportunities for a pediatric hematologist where Peter’s work took him.”
“Where was that?” Jessica asked as she found her purse.
“I can’t remember where he was at the time. Like Dad, he traveled a lot.”
She looked at Sam suspiciously. “Is this another of those gray areas you can’t tell me about?”
He laughed. “It really is a little unnerving how we seem to read each other’s minds, isn’t it?”
“Very. You don’t happen to talk in your sleep, do you?” She raised an eyebrow, unable to resist a momentary reprieve from the stress. “Listening at your door seems to be the only hope I have to learn any of your secrets.”
“I don’t know, but maybe someday you’d like to find out for yourself.”
“Yeah, right, in my dreams,” Jessica said with an overdose of sarcasm. They’d technically known each other a little more than a week, if they didn’t consider her accident. Sam was far too logical to let their initial attraction get out of hand.
The drive to the church went quickly, and Jessica looked up at the bell tower and smiled. “This has to be one of the most beautiful churches in town. It reminds me of something out of Arizona Highways.”
“I like the memorial gardens,” he added as they walked through the formal entry to the church. “The church is rich with history. General Palmer was one of the original members.”
“General Palmer, the man on the horse?”
“Yeah. Of course, the original church was a lot smaller.”
Jessica paused to look at the stained glass. Jesus stood in the middle of a crowd with his arms open wide, as if welcoming a stranger.
Sam’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “If you’d like, you could wait out here while I meet with the Praise Team in the sanctuary.”
She turned quickly; she hadn’t been aware that she was keeping him. “Can’t I go ahead into the church and get a seat?” The gardens were beautiful, but she’d feel like a fish in a fishbowl out here as others were streaming inside. This was one week she didn’t want to draw any attention to herself.
“Sure, we’ll be warming up.” He held out his hand, and Jessica accepted.
“So I could get a personal concert, huh?” She tipped her head slightly, wondering if Sam minded her teasing him.
Sam chuckled. “I hope we don’t disappoint. I’d hate to have you leave before the rest of the choir arrives.”
“I thought you said you’re not part of the choir.”
“Not a formal choir—the congregation. Those of us at the front are just the music leaders to help everyone stay in sync. But without everyone singing, we’re just a bunch of noisemakers.”
She wasn’t sure whether he was teasing her or serious, but she figured she’d find out soon enough. Sam gave her hand a gentle squeeze as they walked into the sanctuary. “Have a seat anywhere. I’ll see you in a bit.”
The sanctuary looked huge with its high ceiling. Along the side, the warm morning sunshine brought the stained-glass windows to their intended beauty. She gazed at a depiction of Jesus with children seated around him. Innocent children, before they’d made all of the mistakes she had. Children like Amy. Jesus welcomed them into his presence. How could such a loving God turn a deaf ear to a distraught and loving mother’s plea to bring her daughter home?
Music filled the room with an upbeat tune, and Jessica, avoiding faces, found an empty pew and sat down. She watched Sam’s every move. As one song blended into the next their eyes met and his smile soothed her rankled nerves. The seats began filling, and Jessica felt uncomfortable as a young couple sat next to her and welcomed her. She ventured a glance around the room, startled to see Susan Carter heading her way. Jessica turned away, and saw one of the volunteers from the shelter.
“Jessica,” Susan whispered, “I’m so glad Sam convinced you to come with him.”
“I could hardly say no after he’s done so much for me this week.” Jessica looked around for Susan’s twin daughters. “Where are Sarah and Hannah?”
Susan squeezed past Jessica and sat in the empty space between her and the young couple. “They went to Sunday School and couldn’t wait to help the teacher clean up and get ready for Children’s Church. How are you doing?”
Jessica couldn’t help but wonder if Susan had found out Jessica was coming this morning and planned for the twins to be busy just to ease Jessica’s pain. “About as well as can be expected. I feel like I’ve had an arm amputated. It’s awful, Susan.” Strange as it seemed, Jessica hoped that if she kept Susan talking about the kidnapping, she wouldn’t notice that Jessica didn’t know any of the songs or customs of the service.
The last thing Jessica needed right now was to lose her job over her faith, or lack thereof. Surely she could play the part for an hour.
They visited quietly for a few minutes before the music faded and a young man opened the service. Then everyone stood and began singing the words illuminated on the screen to the right of the pulpit. Jessica soon discovered that Susan was even more vivacious here than at work. She raised her hands and swayed in rhythm to the music, her beautiful voice carrying the tune.
Certain that everyone must be staring, Jessica glanced around, comforted to find Susan wasn’t drawing any attention in their direction. Sam’s eyes were closed as he sang to the music. The man on the guitar paused between songs and prayed aloud. It wasn’t a generic “one prayer fits all” kind of prayer she’d heard during her childhood, but a contemporary worship of the Heavenly Father as the author of our lives. Jessica listened with intense curiosity. The music served as a comforting backdrop to the prayer, as if carefully choreographed. Jessica felt the tension lift from her heart.
After another song, a teenager recited the Bible reading, and then a tall African-American man stepped to the front, welcoming members and visitors to Good Shepherd Christian Church. He invited everyone to greet their sisters and brothers in Christ, then stepped past the pulpit to mingle with the congregation. The Praise Team left the stage and moved to various seats in the congregation. Jessica saw Sam walk toward her, and her discomfort increa
sed.
“How’s it going?” he whispered as he squeezed into the pew beside Jessica.
Jessica simply nodded as the pastor motioned to be seated.
“Is this the pastor you’ve been talking so much about, Susan?” Jessica could see now why the new pastor had garnered her boss’s attention.
Susan lifted her eyebrows and shrugged innocently.
“Our lives are continually filled with sin and sadness, yet generation after generation, history repeats itself. In times of turmoil like these, we as a community of God’s children must come together to offer support and encouragement to those in need…”
Jessica glanced at Sam, not totally surprised by his wink. He discreetly offered his hand, and Jessica welcomed the warmth and comfort it gave her.
Reverend Dawson expounded on today’s theme of God as the author of our lives, relating it to interactive games and movies, where the viewer can “choose” the ending. In the same way, he explained, we all make good and bad choices. God has planned each event in our lives so that we may see God and know Him and learn to rely on Him. “Through good times, do we remember to give God the credit?” Reverend Dawson asked. “Yet when tragedy strikes, we run to Him, lean on Him, and trust Him to fix our problems.” Jessica knew she had been guilty of this. “Don’t hide your head in shame, we’ve all been guilty of this spiritual tragedy. We claim credit for the successes, and expect God to remove our trials and tribulations. When we invite God into our lives, it’s for eternity. Not just for here and now, or even yesterday and tomorrow. Eternity. Forever and always. He knows every minute of your life, the exact count of every hair on your head, every triumph and struggle.”
Gabriel strolled to the pulpit and lifted his Bible. “In this book you can find endless examples of man’s recurring fall from grace, and God’s ultimate gift of His son, who died so that we may spend eternity in His presence.” Gabriel read Scriptures, ending with Deuteronomy 30:19: “Moses said, ‘I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.’”
Finding Amy Page 14
