“Okay. I guess?” I reply to him. I mean, what do you even say to something like that?
“This is pretty typical in abuse situations like we are dealing with, Miss Rockwell,” he tries to reassure me, but the damage is already done. I’m too neurotic to let it go, and of course this is going to worry Lucy even more. She’s been a nervous wreck this whole time.
“If you have any questions you can call the office anytime,” the attorney says before ending the call. I sit here at my desk in the office of the Youth Center, stunned into silence. Do I call Lucy and give her a warning of this? Do I keep it to myself? There is no reason to get her all worked up if it really is supposed to be nothing, typical even.
I sit here for a couple minutes just staring at my iPhone sitting next to my keyboard on my desk, contemplating what to do. I finally pick up the phone and dial Lucy to give her the heads up. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t make this call and something happened. On the third ring she answers, I can hear Libby screaming in the background in one of her adorable temper tantrums. Yes, I really do mean adorable. She makes a full-on meltdown look like Britney Spears when she rammed that umbrella into that van, but she is so cute.
“Hey, I just got off the phone with the lawyer.” I pause for a minute trying to think about how to make this sound not as bad as the lawyer did.
“And?”
“I guess Kent called the firm and made some threats. Michael told me it is pretty common when someone who is an abuser is served divorce papers.” I try and make it sound like no big deal, but this is a woman who has been terrorized by this man for the greater part of the last decade.
“Should I be worried?” Lucy asks, her voice shaky on the other end.
“Oh, not at all!” I say with an upbeat tune, hoping that makes her believe me. Luckily, she doesn’t really know me good enough to tell when I am putting on a show. It’s bad of me to do, but I have to. I don’t want to ruin the whole night for the family, especially the girls. They have been looking forward to The Pirate house, practicing their best “arrrrgggg” with Liam for the past week.
“You sure?” She sounds like she is doubting me.
“Of course, really Lucy. Everything is going to be just fine.” God, I am such a bullshitter.
“Okay, I will see you over at The Pirate House at five,” she says, before ending the call. I’m only distracted when the office assistant knocks on the door to tell me she is leaving for lunch. I must have really been spaced out. In an attempt to change my mood, I cue up some Chris Stapleton on my Bluetooth speaker and power through the last little bit of work I have for the day.
I really love volunteering here. I never thought I would have an impact on another person’s life in the way I have. Yeah, when you sell homes there is a chance to make someone’s experience really special, but there just is no comparison. Thus far I’ve been able to help four teenagers not only apply for college, but help source housing funds to make sure they don’t have to worry about anything when they get to school. It’s rewarding for sure.
My phone buzzes on my desk and I see a text from Liam.
What are you wearing?
I bust out laughing, he always has the most perfect timing. It’s like he knows exactly what I need right at that moment. I bite my bottom lip and think of a good reply.
Absolutely nothing.
The devilish grin spreads across my face. He’s been working so hard lately that I feel like he’s been neglected. Not because I want to, but because he’s forced himself to in hopes of cementing a name for himself locally, even more so than he already has. I admire that in him. He has drive, a real fire and passion for what he does. He genuinely loves his work. It’s a sexy trait.
Meow! Why are you naked at work?
He’s cheeky in his answer. I should have known better.
I was hoping you’d come take care of me.
This is a fun game. Closing the door behind me and locking it, I open my phone camera and snap a picture of my cleavage in my white button-down blouse. I open our text convo back up and hit send on the picture with grin on my face.
Meet me at my apartment.
Excuse me? I laugh, thinking about a witty reply, but I have nothing because I could totally leave right now and go get my mack on for lunch. I feel like I need to seize the moment, because Liam has been so missing in action lately. A girl has to take what she can get.
Ten minutes.
I button my top button back up and grab my purse, throwing my phone in it and starting the short walk to Liam’s apartment. It’s only about two blocks from the Youth Center. Five minutes later, I am walking up the back stairs of the building, digging through my bag when I run smack dab into his body standing in the hallway, struggling with his keys too.
We both start laughing and Liam frantically opens the door. Once we are on the other side, it’s a mess of hands all over each other and lips everywhere. From my neck, he kisses up to my lips as we grope each other in the direction of the bedroom, clothes landing wherever they’re thrown. We both fall onto the bed, as I reach for the button of his pants.
“I need you,” he says against my neck, in between his mouth licking and biting his way to my earlobe. I feel like it’s been so long since we’ve been together, alone. We fall into the rhythm we found that night in the Bohemian, when he changed my life forever with a simple dare of a massage. His hands glide down my body, touching every inch of skin from my tits to my ass. His fingers loop into the panties I’m wearing today. Stupid skirts for work clothes.
“I love you,” I say as he pulls my panties down and pushes me gently onto the bed. I bounce when I make contact with the mattress, and Liam isn’t far behind me. His body covers mine with a sense of urgency. My legs part to accommodate his body, and I can feel the tip of his cock graze my center. Completely teasing me. I buck my hips in his direction, silently begging for him to enter me.
“Please,” I beg.
“Are you begging, my love?”
I bit my bottom lip and just nod. I can’t help it, all the yearning for him is going to be the death of me. I’m a brat. I’m a spoiled little brat, but I need him more than I’ve had in weeks. His lips make their way back to my mouth, thrusting his tongue to explore at the same time his cock pushes inside me, he slowly pulls back out and plunges back in. My eyes roll into the back of my head, as I take in the pleasure his cock brings. If there is one thing Liam knows how to do, it’s fuck.
“Shit,” I say in between moans of pleasure.
“God, I missed this,” he says before letting out a deep moan. It’s sexy as fuck and brings me closer to tipping over the edge of pleasure.
“I’m not gonna last long,” Liam admits, and I don't give a single shit because I am about to fall over the cliff myself. When his hand reaches in between our bodies and begins to rub my clit in between thrusts, I don’t stand a chance. I tip over the edge of ecstasy, as he joins me. His grunts and moans are hot as fuck. I’ll never get bored of him, that is for sure.
We both collapse against the bed, panting and sweating from our impromptu middle of the day fuck fest.
“I don’t know what I did before you,” Liam says to me as we lay in bed together, all spread out trying to cool off.
“I’m sure you were just fine,” I laugh, shrugging his comment off. I’m nothing special.
“I mean it Luna. I was lost before you came along. I’d be lost without you. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved before.” I’m not exactly sure what I am feeling when I hear those words. It’s almost like my heart skips a beat, my chest feels warm, and my attachment to him grows by leaps and bounds just with those few words. Maybe this is what true love actually feels like?
The evening flies by in delicious food, pirates, and three very happy little girls who don’t realize the deeper meaning of what is actually taking place with our family really coming back together. I hope they can grow up and never remember a time that I wasn’t in their lives. I mean, they are
all still so little, and I’ve been here and there when mom and dad were alive. I just want them to always be able to fall back on all of us, including me.
Seeing as The Pirate House isn’t far from my house, we all decide to walk home. Liam and Hunter carry the youngest two girls on their shoulders, as Ava holds my hand making our way down the side streets leading up to Columbia Square. The late summer evenings in Savannah are starting to get on the cool side, but it’s absolutely gorgeous out. Tonight, would be the perfect evening for a midnight swim in the pool.
“I say we do some swimming when we get home,” I say as the sun slowly sets in the distance. The little girls cheer with joy in reaction to the idea.
“Remember, you still have to be in bed on time.” Lucy reminds the girls, to some totally sour faces. I smile, but don’t say anything because I don’t want Lucy to kill me or give the girls any false hope. I have to give her that, she’s kept the girls on an iron clad schedule since they’ve been at the house. Come nine-thirty the house is dead silent. No more little girl squeals.
“That gives us like, a whole half hour!” I cheer the girls on.
As we round the corner, I can see the front porch of my house in the distance. Hunter puts Ellie down on the sidewalk, and Lucy takes Libby from Liam, carrying the toddler on her hip for the last portion of our short walk.
We laugh and joke as we look both ways to cross the street. Ava runs along with Liam and Ellie by her side, starting to bolt up the front stairs in what appears to be a race between the boyfriends and the little girls. Hunter comes to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, waiting next to the sidewalk for my sisters and I to finish crossing the road.
Violet and I cross in front of Lucy, and then we see it. Headlights turn on as a car begins to tear down my tiny side street, accelerating uncontrollably in the direction of Lucy with baby Libby on her hip. My whole world flashes before my eyes. Everything begins to move in slow motion as the car continues to rev its engine heading straight for my sister. Mere feet separate her from the car, as Hunter jumps off the sidewalk, pushing her out of the way saving Lucy and Libby.
A thump echoes through the tiny alleyway, as the car turns down the next street over, tires screeching. I’m frozen on the sidewalk. My mind cannot process everything that has happened in the last thirty seconds. I’m not sure if I am in shock or what this is, but I can’t talk. I can’t move. I am motionless, as I begin to cry seeing Hunter laying in the street, bloody and lifeless. Liam runs to the street screaming for someone to call 911. I just stand there.
Everyone rushes around me in a panic, calling the medics and rushing the girls into the house so they don’t have to witness anything else that is going to happen. I just stand there. Useless to everyone around me. My heart feels like it is about to jump out of my chest. I can’t breathe. Everything is getting dark. Oh my god. What is happening? Why is this happening? Please God, or whatever you are up there, don’t let anything happen to Hunter. Don’t fucking do this to me. I’ve lost enough, I’ve lost too much. I’ve lost all my people I love. Don’t fucking do this to me! Why? Why fucking me?
My legs give out and I sit on the sidewalk, as everyone rushes around me in all directions. I feel arms wrap around my body, but I am just am empty shell at this point. Something has broken and I can’t move. Flashing lights, paramedics, and law enforcement rush in the street, trying to save Hunters life. All I can do is watch. Liam’s arms around me are gone, and the paramedic starts trying to talk to me.
Hunter is loaded onto a backboard and carried into the back of the ambulance. Liam grabs my hand and pulls me up from the ground, my legs barely work but I am moving in the direction of the back of the ambulance. The doors are still open and Liam climbs up into the back, reaching for me. My body is on auto pilot. I don’t really know what is going on, I am just going with the motions. The doors close, and as we start to drive, I can see Lucy and Violet standing on the front porch of my home just watching as the tears run down their faces. I don’t know what to make of it all.
“It’ll be okay,” Liam says, wrapping am arm around me as the paramedics work on Hunter, desperately trying to stabilize him. He’s unconscious and bloody. I turn my head and look away, sobbing into Liam’s shoulder. He kisses my forehead and holds me tighter. The minutes in the ambulance seem like an eternity. We come to a stop in the bay of the Emergency Room, and the hard-working men and women quickly get Hunter out of the back and flying down the hallway. The two of us just sit there in shock as Hunters life is in the hands of the doctors.
“Is this really happening?” I ask, as Liam helps me get out of the back of the ambulance and walk in the direction of the doors Hunter was taken through.
“Everything will be fine,” Liam says. “I promise.” I want to believe him, but I don’t. I just can’t. Death is such a fucking bitch, anyone I love doesn’t stand a fucking chance. Liam’s cell phone rings and he quickly answers. I can hear the police officer’s deep tone on the other end. It’s familiar from the scene of chaos in front of my house.
“They caught the driver,” Liam says, covering the mouthpiece of the phone, but still listening to what the man is saying. They caught him. I wish I could be the first person to get a crack at the scumbag who did this. Fuck the justice system, people like that don’t deserve a trial. Hitting someone like a dog in the street and just driving away? What if he had hit Lucy with Libby on her hip? What if Hunter didn’t risk his entire life to save my sister? If it wasn’t for me, Hunter would be perfectly fine. It’s all my fault.
“His name is Kent Taylor.” My heart stops.
“Kent Taylor?” I repeat, knowing the name immediately.
“Is that Lucy’s husband?” Liam asks, apparently identifying him quickly as well. That mother fucker was trying to kill Lucy. My sister who was crossing the street with her own baby in her hands. He was willing to kill his own child to keep my sister from leaving him. This is the disgusting mentality of the man who my sister was trapped by for years. No regard for human life, not even his own child. So obsessed with control, that he would try and kill his own child. The whole, if I can’t have you no one will, is taken to a whole new level.
We sit on the other side of a desk, separating the bustling emergency room from the waiting area. My eyes are glued on the desk, and the woman registering people probably thinks I’m a creeper who is staring at her, but in reality, I am desperate for news. My panic starts to come down and the time goes on. That’s a good sign, right? I’m able to breathe again, but I’m still in a complete fog. Liam leaves me sitting in the waiting room to check with the woman at the desk a few times, before she gets pissy with him. Maybe she could use some lessons in compassion? Jesus!
I’ve cried so much, I have no tears left. My eyes are dry and itchy, and I am sure super red. I want to just go home and lock myself away in my bedroom, and not even deal with any of this. In the past two years of my life, I’ve seen too many hospitals. Waiting here for Hunter is like waiting for my mother to die all those months ago. We got our hopes up that everything would be fine. Fine my ass. My mind has flown in every direction there is. My brain feels like complete mush.
“The police said he was trying to hit Lucy,” Liam says, but I already knew that. I don’t want to be snippy with him, but I’m starting to emotionally shut down. It’s what I do, what I’ve always done when something happens.
“I know, he also tried to kill his baby. Who does that?” I roll my eyes, fuck that hurts. A man in a long lab coat and glasses walks out from behind the desk. We both quickly jump to our feet, waiting for an update.
“You came in with the man hit by the car?” he asks, which Liam confirms. He takes a long pause, as Liam and I hold hands, and I hold my breath waiting to hear any news on Hunter.
“I’m so sorry, there was nothing we could do.” My legs give out under me, and I fall to the floor in tears. My sobs echo through the packed ER waiting room. People look, stare, and point as Liam leans over me and wraps his arms around
me, slowly pulling me to my feet. I can't feel my legs. The room is spinning and black dots flash in my eyes. I can’t breathe. I’m gasping for air. I feel like a fish under water. Am I drowning? I blink a couple times and everything goes black.
Beep beep beep beep beep. I try to blink my eyes open, but they feel so swollen. I’m awake, but I can’t really move. I clear my throat and someone grabs my hand.
“Luna?” I can hear Liam.
“Is she awake?” I hear Violet.
I blink again and the light in the room shines brightly into my sensitive eyes. I start to move my body, arms, hands, neck, everything feels stiff.
“How long was I out for?” I wonder aloud.
“About four hours, you passed out in the waiting room,” Violet answers me, standing next to the chair Liam is sitting in. All the memories from hours earlier slowly start to flood my mind. Hunter… is gone. My eyes start to water, but the tears aren’t coming. My sight is blurry and my heart is broken.
“I didn’t dream that?” I ask, hoping it was all some bad dream. Hoping I had a nightmare.
“No, baby,” Liam says with a muffled sob. I never thought I would see a man like him cry. I can tell he’s trying to be strong for me and push it all to the side. I don’t want him to do that. He needs to let it all out or else he is going to end up just as fucked up as I am. I’m damaged goods. I should have known everything was going too good. I can’t live a perfect life, no matter where I am.
“When can I go home?” I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go lay in my own bed, with something that smells like Hunter, and never leave my bedroom again. I don’t want to be forced to deal with any of this. If it was up to me, I would run away all over again. This is just bullshit. Why does my life have to be such goddamn bullshit?
Falling Forward Page 17
