“She’s the scrappiest.” Ravin let out a snort and rubbed at his tear stained cheeks. “I just… I can’t lose her, you know?” he murmured.
“I know.” Sin nodded. “And if you want her alive, then start making choices and start taking action. Tell that angel to get off his ass and get his own ceremony ready for when she wakes up.”
Ravin bobbed his head. He wouldn’t mind yelling at Loviel. That would absolutely take some of the pressure off of him. He rocked back on his heels. “Thanks for sobering me up fast… boss.” He glanced back at her eyes, and shuddered a bit. Sometimes he forgot how terrifying Sin could be. That had been an absolute wakeup call.
“Do you need a cab?” She winked and stood.
“Nah, I can take myself back.” Ravin brushed himself off and wiped away the tears that clung to his chin. “Is my soul really that shitty?”
A dark smirk rolled across Sin’s face. Ravin had not the faintest of clues the value she placed in his existence. “You’re no use to me dead, darling. Now run along.”
“I think you’ve wounded my soul.” Ravin put a hand to his forehead and then disappeared with one last wink. Now that he was feeling better, he made his way back to the Care Pod unit. Loviel was still there, looking as much of a mess as ever.
He strode right up to the angel, and stood close. “You need to get your ass up to Heaven,” Ravin growled, his confidence returned. “Get your ceremony ready. Sin is getting ours ready. Michelle is making her choice when she wakes up.”
“Fine,” Loviel said brusquely and stretched out his miserable looking wings. “But she’s already awake.” Without another word, he vanished.
A shocked breath escaped Ravin’s lips. He walked into her room and looked down at her tired, exhausted form, still encased in the Care Pod. Around her were Jo, Lian, and Zier. They were all talking amongst themselves. None of them were speaking loudly, out of respect for Michelle, who still seemed a bit groggy.
Michelle’s dull blue eyes slowly moved about until they noticed Ravin. Clarity filled her for a moment and she reached up and placed her hand on the glass.
Ravin placed his over hers, tears in his eyes again. She was still fighting, still clinging onto life. She wasn’t going to give up until the very end, and even then, she’d still keep kicking. Now he had to match that intensity. He knew for absolute certain in that moment that a decision would be made.
Chapter 25
When Loviel opened his eyes, his head was spinning. The ground below him was soft and unfamiliar. The air was dark. It was night-time in the temples. When he tried to get up, he found his strength faltering. Getting up to Heaven had taken much out of him. Pain splintered through his wings. He turned his head to look at them. They were beyond tattered. Flight feathers were missing and bald spots littered the base.
Breathing was hard; he was so tired. Exhausted. There was no possible way he would be traversing the walkways of Heaven to find Cleoph. Perhaps she already knew he was there. Perhaps she would materialize next to him in the next moment.
His eyes flickered open again and it was daylight. Sun filtered through the open windows and warmed Loviel’s face. A blanket covered him and parts of his wings had been wrapped with tender care. Beside the bed was a table with a cup of water and a plate of breakfast food.
Loviel hoisted himself up and looked around to get a better idea of where he was. From what he could see out of the window, he was on the far edges of the temples. The cloud countryside drifted past lazily. It was peaceful in the warm cottage.
At least now he knew for sure he had made it to Heaven.
“Glad to see you awake,” a voice said from the doorway.
Loviel turned to see an angel with rich, tousled, reddish-brown hair. Kind blue eyes sparkled in the daylight. A thick beard gave the man a mature look. Below his simple white robe, a decent dusting of hair covered his chest. A certain wisdom gleamed in his smile. As the angel entered the room, his barred wings stretched out. He was a silent flyer; Loviel could tell by the shape of his flight feathers.
The angel replaced the cup with a fresh one. “When I felt you land, I thought I had felt someone else’s energy. I am glad I came when I did. Your condition is quite worrying.”
“It has been a trying time, Brother.” Loviel pushed himself up and began to move his legs to get up. The other angel put his hand on Loviel’s shoulder.
“You need your rest.” The older angel spoke gently and evenly. “If you push yourself too much harder, you’ll hurt yourself. That won’t do anyone any good.”
Though the older angel was right, Loviel couldn’t sit still. There was so much he had to get done and he had so little time. How long he had been out, he wasn’t sure. When he got back, he would probably get a stern talking-to from Ravin. At least he knew Michelle was still fine; he could feel her energy through their bond. She was weak and so was he.
“You are Loviel, are you not?” The angel made Lovie rest back down. “My name is Raguel. I am a fan of your music, Brother. I play it in the classes for the young ones.” A fatherly smile appeared on his face. It was clear he wasn’t going to let Loviel leave until he was satisfied with his condition.
Loviel had heard the name before. Raguel was an Angel of Guidance. From what he could recall, he oversaw all of the training for the young Angels and new Exalts coming in. A fluttering filled Loviel’s heart. This was perfect. If there was anyone who could help him with the process, it would be Raguel.
Perhaps luck was on his side after all.
“Raguel, maybe you can help me,” Loviel said, feeling energy trickle through his veins. Raguel would know how the process was going. He, of anyone, would know whether or not Michelle had been approved to join the ranks.
The older angel dipped his head. “What can I do?”
“My partner, Michelle. I spoke to Cleoph about making her into an Exalt. She is very sick, dying, actually.” Loviel pulled his damaged wings closer and touched one of his long bent feathers. “Have you heard any news on the status of the application?”
“That explains quite a bit.” Raguel’s face assumed a sad expression. His sky-blue gaze turned cloudy. “Unfortunately, I do not know. In the last few hundred years, I have gone into a sort of retirement. I watch over the children from time to time, and I sometimes help out in classes, but I haven’t been in charge of the Exalt program for quite some time, now.”
It took only a moment for Loviel’s wings to sag to the ground. With every hope he got, it seemed it was quickly taken away. This needn’t be so complex. As long as Michelle and Ravin were officially together and spending time with one another, it would be hard for them to convince the other leaders to approve her to be an Exalt.
Yet, Ravin insisted upon it. He had to know the likelihood was slim. Especially in the amount of time they had. More than anything, Loviel just wanted to help his partner. He couldn’t bear to see her in such a state. Plus, due to their link, he was suffering as a direct result of her sickness. That was something Ravin didn’t have to be concerned about. It was probably something he hadn’t even thought of.
“Then I must speak with Cleoph. I have wasted enough time.” Loviel found a small pocket of energy and he used it to teleport himself out of the bed and into the doorway. Immediately he wished he hadn’t. His legs felt as if they were made of gelatin. He wobbled and leaned against the sturdy frame.
Raguel shook his head, wishing the boy would lay down and get some strength back. “You won’t make it the entire way in your condition.”
Loviel rested his head against the frame and closed his eyes. Michelle needed him just as much as he needed her. Tears welled up in his eyes. He’d never felt so helpless in his life—especially now, when he needed to be at his strongest. The Reaper’s sight was a gaze over which he could not prevail. Michelle’s life was fluttering in the breeze and all he could do was stand there like a helpless child.
A feeling of defeat washed over him. He wanted to fight, but he couldn’t. His own
body was holding him back. As he began to collapse, he fell into a pair of strong arms. He looked up into worried, sky-blue eyes.
“Please, Raguel,” Loviel begged. “Please help me, I need to speak with Cleoph.”
“I will help you, Loviel,” Raguel promised. “But you must lay down. You’re only making things worse.”
Without complaint, Loviel allowed the other angel to help him back into the bed. Raguel handed him the fresh glass of water and tidied the covers around him. Shame burned across Loviel’s cheeks. He closed his eyes and focused on Michelle’s energy.
For a moment, he could see the inside of her pod. She was staring up at the ceiling. Her thoughts were roiling. She was thinking and contemplating the pros and cons of what seemed to her to be impossible choices. If he were a lesser man, he would have whispered for her to choose the Fellion path. It would have been so much simpler. She and Ravin could live happily once she got past the hard stages of youth.
He understood that Ravin was scared that he wouldn’t be up to the task of raising a Fellion, but it would be the only way he could watch her live. It often took Exalts hundreds of years to get past the training and study it took to become a full Angel.
Plus, if Michelle harbored feelings for a demon, she would be ostracized by the other angels. She was already on Demias’ radar. Loviel had not a doubt in his mind the Angel of the Sword would do whatever it took to make her fall in line. Loviel didn’t want to see Michelle’s spirit broken by his people. There was a chance she could wind up in the Sect of the Sword. What if she became a War Dog?
Michelle shared a bond with Ravin that wouldn’t be easily broken. To make it so she would never see the demon again would be agony to her. Why did Ravin not understand this? There was no getting through his thick skull. In his mind, he saw Angelism as the perfect route, like it would be stroll through the clouds, as if Michelle would be handed the easy life.
This just wasn’t so. Why did the demon have such an idealized version in his mind? It didn’t make sense. He was a demon. If anyone was to dislike angels, it should have been Ravin.
Anger spiked through him. Why wasn’t it perfect? They were angels. They should have been able to heal Michelle. She was a good person. She had risked everything to save the world, and it had ended up cutting her life span shorter. Michelle was a hero. There shouldn’t have been hoops to jump through. Why couldn’t they see the importance of her life?
“Might I give you a bit of insight, Loviel?” Raguel spoke from the foot of the bed.
Loviel nodded and remained quiet.
Raguel’s eyes went distant as memories flowed through him. As he looked over at Loviel, his sight filled with melancholy. “Once, I knew an angel. He had a human partner that he loved oh-so-very-much. She too became sick, but during that time, we were in war. Day by day, the angel fell apart. His mind, too, began to grow bitter, like the energy I feel around you. So much pain engulfed him in such a short span of time… “
The older angel looked at the palms of his hands. A large scar spanned the length of both of them in a wound so deep it could never heal. “He lost too much and killed many of our kind. So many of our brothers and sisters were lost.”
“You think I am going to turn against our kind?” Loviel quirked his brow. Sure, he was frustrated and angry, but he didn’t want to kill because of it.
“No, I am saying love can make us irrational. It can blind us to the true answers we need. It can make us do unforgivable things. Love is very powerful, but it, like fire, is a burning and consuming force.” Raguel put his hands together; there was a tired longing in his voice. “I loved him. He was my Brother, but the fire in his heart quickly turned to hate. Love is powerful: it fuels our bodies, our minds, and our souls. It is a tender flame that burns, but hate is wild inferno. It is a sun in comparison.”
Raguel let out a deep breath, and shook his head, as he stood. “I will go find Cleoph for you and bring her here.”
There was a pop of energy and Raguel was gone.
A guilty resonance filled Loviel. If he allowed his anger to consume him, would he hurt someone? No. He knew he couldn’t. A part of him dismissed the old angel’s tale. They could heal Michelle. If Ravin would just change her…
His head pressed back into the pillow. When Cleoph came, the answer would be known. If she said yes, then Michelle would have to choose and her path would be set. Was it even fair to let the uninformed human pick what she would be for all of eternity?
It was too late to worry about that now. Time was flying swiftly by. All he could do was close his eyes and rest as he waited for an answer to arrive. Sleep overwhelmed him and he let himself drift into the darkness.
“Loviel.” The sound of a gentle voice roused him a while later. He looked up to see Cleoph standing beside his bed. “I have spoken with Basiton and we have reached an agreement.”
“What is it?” Loviel sat up. A feeling of hope surged through him. He had thought they would have declined his plea for sure. Was there a way they could save her? Could Michelle’s life be spared within the next twenty-four hours? All she had to do was make a choice.
Cleoph ran a finger through her hair and twiddled the strand. At length she let out a sigh. “Bastion will accept Michelle and she will be allowed to be an Exalt under one condition.”
Loviel waited with baited breath. What could it have been? Would she have to vow to never see Ravin again? Would she ever be able to leave Heaven? What was the catch? Why did there have to be a catch?
“If she is to be an Exalt, she must either be trained as a Sword or Shield. Bastion believes it will cause too much conflict if she is trained under Balance. He said he would do his best to acquire her into his ranks, but he has a feeling Demias will fight for her to be a Sword.” As Cleoph explained, Loviel could feel his heart sink as well as his wings.
“We all know she would be best suited as an Angel of Balance,” Loviel argued.
Cleoph nodded. “She would. Her temperament is best suited as one of our people, but due to that same temperament, the others are worried she will be reckless. It is already a great task to approve an Exalt who wasn’t trained to be are. This is all I can offer, Loviel.”
He did his best to bow his head in respect, but the frustration was returning. No. He couldn’t do this to her. If Michelle became an Exalt of the Sword, she would lose everything that made her who she was. She would never get to see Ravin again under Demias. Ever. It wasn’t an option.
Surely Ravin would see the logic now. Surely he wouldn’t allow Michelle to be broken by the Great Warrior of Heaven. Loviel wouldn’t stand for it. He had to convince Ravin to rally for Michelle to be a Fellion.
It was the only answer.
“Raguel told me you are weak, so I shall give you the strength you need to return,” Cleoph said gently and placed her hand on Loviel’s forehead. “If Michelle chooses the path of the Exalt, speak my name and I shall perform the ceremony.”
A feeling of bliss cascaded through Loviel’s veins. Energy filled him and he knew it would be enough to bring him back to Eartha. He wasn’t looking forward to the discussion he was about to have with Ravin. Not at all.
There was no other way. Ravin had to understand.
Loviel spread out his wings and bowed his head to Cleoph. “Thank you for all you have done.”
“Peace be with you,” Cleoph said as she returned the respectful gesture.
Loviel took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He pictured the hospital room in his mind and willed the energy to fill him and his tattered wings. Before he left, he murmured halfheartedly, “And also with you.”
Chapter 26
In the time it took Loviel to return, Michelle had been moved back to the house. She reclined on the couch downstairs, cuddled up with her boyfriend. Never in her life had she felt so small. Eating, one of her favorite pastimes, now held little pleasure. It was all she could do to fumble through eating a cup of gelatin.
She was so exhausted, it h
ad been hard to sort through her thoughts. Ravin had reminded her nearly every hour on the hour that she had to make up her mind by the time Loviel returned. No pressure. It was getting close to that time again.
And yet, her decision hadn’t been made.
It was hard enough to make the choice when she was at her personal one hundred percent. Now that she felt closer to fifteen percent, there was no way. At this point, she wanted to flip a coin and go with whatever was facing up.
“I can’t pick,” she said into his shirt. “It’s too hard.”
Ravin put an arm around her. “You have to,” he murmured. “This is the only way.” He did his best to keep himself calm as he spoke.
Michelle allowed her head to droop to his chest and closed her eyes. Sure, demanding a decision was easy for him. Her thoughts were moving like pancake batter, all thick and lumpy. She had to choose. Demon: Pros, she got to stick with Ravin, and she’d get a sweet tail and horns. Cons, the whole “might kill someone” thing was a downer. Angels: Pros, wings, and they were highly regarded. Cons, she probably wouldn’t get to hang around Ravin for a while, among other things.
There was also the fact that Ravin desperately wanted Michelle to pick Angels. If he hadn’t, she probably would have already gone for the Demon path. It was the same with Loviel. They were just making it so much harder to pick one or the other.
Neither of them had made a sufficiently compelling argument to dispel the confusion.
“Look, you’re a good person,” Ravin sighed. “That means you want to avoid the demonic things. You should embrace your natural goodness. I mean, you stopped the end of the world, for Heaven’s sake.” With tender fingers, he stroked her hair. “You’ve never asked for thanks for that. You have a natural guardian instinct. You protected Lian for how long? You did it of your own free will, even though it sucked sometimes. You faced down a group of dragons, an ancient vampire, a Fallen Angel, and a crazy demon all within a week of us meeting.”
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