by Cindy Miles
Nathan studied her for several moments. She could feel the weight of his stare, as though he could see through her skull and into her thoughts, before hitting a wall. “Some folks are lucky that way, I suppose,” he said. “You know, long family history. But some...” He kissed the top of her head. “Some folks have to be the first. Be the ones who start the lineage. And that’s something to be proud of, too, Sean.” He turned her in his arms, and she allowed it. His head descended toward hers. “You’ve already started the cycle, right? Look at this amazing kid you’ve brought into the world.” His lips found hers, and he kissed her gently, but the urgency was there, and Sean sank deeper into his arms.
Nathan ended the kiss and tucked her head beneath his chin. “I’m awfully glad you found Cassabaw Station, Ms. Jacobs,” he said quietly.
Sean closed her eyes and simply breathed. The salty air mixed with Nathan’s woodsy scent caused her to inhale deeper. “I am, too,” she confessed.
And she meant it. Clear down to her bones. Just as fiercely as she knew that Nathan, his family, represented just as large, if not larger, a threat as her past. Despite the safety Nathan made her feel, she knew deep down how dangerous it was to remain. To keep...growing fonder. To keep falling...
Nathan had said she should be proud of the new lineage she’d started with Willa. Perhaps he was right. Maybe she had the right to start over, after all.
And be proud of the life she had now. Yet the ever-present underlying fear that someone would find them, would take Willa away, or hurt those she loved, clawed at her. Constantly. It was like a headache that wouldn’t go away. It could fade, but it was still there. God, how she hated it. She wanted to barter for time. For just a small slice of happiness, without fear. Just a little longer...
After Nathan showed Sean and Willa the big nine-foot first-order Fresnel lens, they descended the station, and with Nathan holding her hand tightly, they walked the oceanfront boardwalk, lined with twinkling lights, to the small amusement park at the far end. There, Nathan helped them climb aboard a shining blue car on the Ferris wheel. With Willa between them, the wheel began its rotation, and Sean couldn’t stop the smile as she watched the light shining in her daughter’s eyes, and the admiration in Nathan’s that made the emeralds sparkle. She noticed he spoke with his eyes—they’d soften, or turn a steely gray-green when he grew intense. He grazed her chin with his forefinger, his gaze lowered to her lips, and her heart did a flip. “I can’t believe we’re here. That I’m here. That...this is really happening.”
“It is,” Nathan said, his deep voice blending in the summer air.
Sean held his intense stare, stunned that she’d made such a confession. “I’m glad,” she said. “Because if this is a dream, it’s the best one I’ve ever had.”
“Me, too!” chimed in Willa.
Sean laughed, and Nathan pulled her close.
It was a lot to take in.
She didn’t want to let it go. Despite her paranoia, her fears of discovery, her past. She selfishly didn’t want to let any of it go.
“Now you can see the whole of Cassabaw,” Nathan said once their bucket reached the top of the wheel.
Sean looked out, so high up, amid the fall of darkness. “It’s almost like we’re mingling with the stars,” she said, and noticed how many more had emerged. “This night was perfect, Nathan,” she said over Willa’s head. “Thank you.”
Nathan’s gaze stayed on hers. “It’s far from over, darlin’.”
The stain of heat hit her cheeks before she could turn her head.
Don’t let this end. God, please, don’t let it end.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“I’LL BE RIGHT BACK,” Sean whispered as she cradled her daughter in her arms.
Nathan gave a nod and watched her disappear into the shadowy hallway, taking Willa to bed. Sean moved like a fairy herself. Her steps seemed effortless, and her body glided. Elegant, like a ballerina or something.
God, she’s so pretty.
Inadvertently, Nathan’s eyes moved to the boxes still sitting against the wall, and a slight fear gnawed in his gut. Even now, would she bolt? Would she leave Cassabaw in her dust, after he’d let her in? Jesus, he hoped not.
Rising from the sofa, he walked to the side door and let himself out onto the small deck that faced the marsh. The moon hung over the saw grass and oyster shoals, and the night crawlers and marsh birds rivaled in chorus. The evening had been perfect. Fun. They’d walked the amusement park, eating cotton candy and playing games after the Ferris wheel ride, and Willa’s squeals of delight at winning a big stuffed bumblebee still pinched his heartstrings. What a cute kid. He couldn’t remember when he’d had so much fun.
“Hey, here you are,” Sean’s soft voice sounded as she joined him. Nathan continued to stare out across the river, forearms resting on the old wooden railing of the deck. Finally, he straightened, turned to Sean.
The gentle expression on her face, bathed in moonlight, stopped whatever words he’d had dead in his throat. She stepped into his embrace, and he threaded his fingers through her hair and held her head with his hands, tilting it to just the right angle, then he closed his mouth over hers. Her hands slid up his chest and slipped around his neck as she rose on her toes, and Nathan let one hand drop to the small of her back, pressing her against him. Her sigh was audible, tangible, and he swallowed it whole.
When he deepened the kiss, Sean’s mouth moved fiercer against his, and her lips parted. He tasted her, and she was sweet, soft, and when the slightest of moans escaped her throat, he hardened against her, breathed her in, then turned her in his arms so that her back was to the rail of the deck. In the still night air their breathing broke the silence, ragged, heavy, and he braced his weight on his hands placed on each side of her and dropped his mouth to her throat, kissing the hollow space at her collarbone, feeling her pulse there. His hands went to her hips, easing up her sides to cup her face and kiss her more deeply. Her hands quivered as she clung to him, and Nathan suckled first her bottom lip, then the corner. Finally, he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers.
Together, they caught their breath.
They stood there like that in the shadows, immersed in the sounds of the balmy summer night for several moments. Downriver, the faint voice of Ella Fitzgerald drifted through the marsh, and Sean’s eyes turned up in the corners as she smiled. “Ella Fitzgerald,” he said. “Em’s playing her records.” They listened for a moment, before another great song began. He smiled. “Billie Holiday. Big stuff.” He shrugged. “We all grew up on the superoldies, blues, big bands of the thirties and forties. Some older.”
“I love it,” Sean admitted quietly. “There’s something comforting about it, don’t you think?”
Nathan’s eyes searched hers. “Yeah, I do.” He lowered his head again, and her mouth was there, and her lips so soft under his. He kissed and tasted her, but again pulled back. They listened to the old music, faint in the air.
“Why did you stop, Nathan?” she asked quietly, breaking their spell. “Did...I do something wrong?”
Nathan framed her face with his hands, and tilted her head until her gaze met his. He studied her, trying to find answers without asking, without seeking. He couldn’t.
“Are you leaving here, Sean?” he asked quietly. Her brow furrowed slightly in confusion. “The boxes in your living room,” he said by way of explanation. “I just keep wondering when you might actually unpack and settle in.”
Sean’s wide gaze, liquid in the darkness, stared at him. “Well, I...” She swallowed, seemingly fishing for words. “It’s...a lot to consider, Nathan.” She pressed her hand to her forehead, as though to smash the thoughts back into place. Clearly, he’d caught her off guard, and she didn’t know what to do about it. “I’ve leased this place for the summer,” she admitted. “When we arrived, that’s all it
would be. A summer escape. But then I met you—”
Nathan silenced her with his mouth. Holding her jaw firm with his hands, his mouth descending on hers with a fury, a fierceness, almost...a brand. She clutched his shirt in her fists, then slipped her hands around his neck and kissed him back, and again, Nathan stopped before he came unglued. He wanted her so bad, he hurt. He literally felt physical pain in his gut. But this wasn’t the time. Wasn’t the place.
He wanted it to be as perfect as the woman.
Sean’s sexy gaze held his in the moonlight, and he dragged his lips over hers once more. “I don’t want you to leave, Sean Jacobs,” he whispered against her mouth. He kissed her again, slowly, and she groaned against his lips. “I really—” he kissed her lightly “—really—” he nipped her bottom lip “—want you to stay here.”
When he finally lifted his head and stared at her, Sean’s eyes were round, wet, and a timid smile tilted the corners of her beautiful mouth. “Really?”
He knew it was fast. All of it. Knew he’d sound like a crazy man if he started making promises to Sean right now. Would telling her how just the thought of touching her, kissing her, kept him up at night make her turn tail and run? How about if he confessed that he recalled their conversations, their interactions, in his mind throughout the day? That his father had caught him smiling like an idiot? No, hell, no. He couldn’t tell Sean any of that. It’d send her packing. It’d send any person with a lick of sense packing. Those confessions were too fast. He didn’t want to push her away. He wanted to take time with her. Let her discover things on her own.
All he knew was that he wanted her to stay. Wanted her to be right here, just up the river, in Cassabaw Station. And he wanted her to not leave. Because he knew this thing they had was special.
It was meant to be.
Only, he couldn’t tell her that, either.
Or could he?
He ducked his head and swept his lips gently over hers, settling there, and simply breathed. “I want you to stay, Sean,” he mumbled against her, and tasted her lips once more. He lifted his head, staring down at her beautiful, surprised face. “Lease this place for a few more months. Let’s see where this goes. Because the thought of you leaving?” He kissed her again. “It really, really doesn’t seem like an option now.”
The moon shone on Sean’s face, giving everything a silvery glow, and to him, her features looked carved straight from marble. When she smiled? God and Jesus, he felt like someone had sapped all of his strength away. Like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. Like he did now.
“I can’t think of a better place to stay,” she said in the sweetest of voices. When she blinked it was as though everything had slowed down in time, like the effect a big, doe-eyed cartoon character had, only not comical. Sean Jacobs made him have hearts in his damned eyes, that was what.
Scary? Hell, yes. He wasn’t sure why, but there was something telling him he needed to hold on to her tightly. That there was something that could make her run, despite her assurances. Unintentionally, he was positive.
She was just so damned sweet.
He grazed her cheek with his knuckle. “That’s a good thing,” he replied in as quiet a voice as he could muster. Because he wanted to punch the air and yell into the night. Shout as loudly as he could, release the excitement that had built inside him. But he didn’t. Instead, he breathed. Smiled. “That’s...a really good thing.”
Sean leaned her head against his chest, and the intimate movement made Nathan’s blood surge in his veins. He kissed the top of her head, and she snuggled closer. “Yes, it is,” she replied.
Nathan lowered his head close, brushing his lips across her ear. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said quietly. “I’ve got to be on the water with Owen in a few hours.” He kissed her cheek. “The next few days will be busy for us. Gearing up for the Fourth of July.” He kissed her lightly on her forehead. “Can I call you?” He nipped her ear. Felt her shiver. Or was it him?
“Yes, call,” Sean answered, and her voice came out a sigh.
One long kiss later, Nathan pulled back and looked down at her, grasped her hand in his, and they walked close, in silence, with only the night air and night creatures stirring. At his truck he swept her mouth with his once more, inhaling her scent, tasting the softness of her lips, her mouth. Her response to his kiss made that weak feeling come over him. Finally, he tore his mouth from hers and hugged her tightly.
“I’m forcing myself to leave now,” he said with a chuckle, and climbed into the cab of his truck before he couldn’t. He rolled the window down, and their eyes met in the darkness, a shy smile appearing on her mouth as she stepped back, folded her slender arms over her chest and waved. As Nathan drove away, he watched Sean graze her lips with her fingertips, and she lifted her hand once more to wave, and his heart skipped a beat at the entire scenario. Of the river, of the mournful words coming from an old blues singer, of the woman who now occupied his every waking thought.
He’d have to remember to thank his sister-in-law for the unintentional mood music.
The Malone house was quiet—even Jep had given up on getting any date gossip from him and gone to sleep—and Nathan climbed the stairs, brushed his teeth then fell into bed. He rolled off the mattress and walked to the window. Despite the heavy warm July air, he cracked his window until the voice of Ella Fitzgerald, coming from Emily’s record player, drifted across the marsh and crept into his room. He dropped back into bed and lay there for several moments, and had to laugh at the irony of the song “If You Ever Leave.”
Sean was staying. True, the house was a lease, but still. It was a start. Maybe she had finally found a home for her and Willa. A place they felt safe from whatever it was that had kept her on the run for so long. Hopefully, she’d one day open up and tell him what that threat was. He wanted more than anything for Sean to trust him. More than she did now.
Completely trust him.
Nathan smiled as his eyes closed, and contentment filled him, and sleep claimed him.
* * *
THE NEXT FEW days dragged slow and long as Nathan and Owen shrimped both tides. The fishing panned out. They caught more shrimp than they’d expected, and had even picked up an extra deckhand from the harbor—a young kid named Banjo—to help out. Nathan called Sean every day, usually at night before he crashed, and each afternoon when they’d head out for their second tide, Sean and Willa would be on their dock, Willa wearing her fairy wings, to wave them by. The sight stuck in Nathan’s head each day. It was just so damned cute, that little girl and her mama, waiting on the dock. For him. Waiting to wave. To him.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
Nathan sat, perched on the side of the Tiger Lily, as they dredged the nets. He glanced up to a perfect, cloudless blue sky, listened to the dozens of gulls cry out for scraps, inhaled the salty air, then looked at his dad through his shades. “There’s this girl,” Nathan said. “She’s kind of amazing.”
Owen grinned, showing off the creases and lines he’d gathered over the past few years. “So I’ve noticed.”
“You’re a fairly good-looking Irishman, Owen Malone,” Nathan said, studying his dad. “You’ve got all your hair, and aren’t in bad shape for an old guy.” Nathan patted his dad’s abs, which luckily still had plenty of muscle. “Gives me hope for my own advanced years.” He couldn’t help but laugh as Owen shook his head.
“Thank you, Nathaniel, that’s awfully kind of you to notice,” his dad replied. “I’m happy my appearance suits you, and settles your fears of getting thin-haired and potbellied.”
Nathan chuckled, and so did Banjo, who was eating a sandwich he’d brought along as they waited to pull shrimp.
“You got something else to talk about, other than my physique?” Owen asked, leaning against the vessel’s wheel.
Nathan’s eyes shot to Banjo, wh
o awaited his answer, then turned unashamedly to Owen.
“I asked Sean to stay on Cassabaw,” Nathan admitted. “She said she would.” He rubbed his jaw, only slightly missing the longer beard he’d trimmed. “But I have this feeling that, I don’t know. Like it’s going to be taken away from me. It’s like some kind of unexpected miracle dropped in my lap. One day, I’m just going along, minding my own business of just accepting life as is, you know?” He shrugged. “Life without Addie. Life with the knowledge that I couldn’t save her.”
He stared at the deck below his feet, then across the sea. He stared so long, the gray water blurred. “Going through life seeing her standing there in the middle of that damned storm, waving at me, trusting me to save her. Then...” He turned his gaze to Owen. “Not seeing her at all. Ever again.” Nathan took a deep breath. Let it out in a gusty sigh. “I’d really just resigned myself to accepting my life as it had become. Here, on the island, with my family. Then came along those two sweet girls. They just sort of...happened.”
“Yeah,” Owen said, walking over to stand before him. He clapped him on the shoulder and gave a firm squeeze. “I’m happy for you, son. You deserve it. But you can’t spend your time worrying if Sean will change her mind. You have to either trust her, talk to her or...just accept whatever comes along.”
Nathan nodded. “You’re right, Dad. You’re absolutely right.” And he kicked off his worn white All-Stars. Already shirtless, he threw his leg up onto the rail and lifted up, standing, facing the sea. He threw a glance over his shoulder, at Owen and Banjo, who watched with wide smiles.
