Ill Repute

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by Nanette Kinslow


  Part Four

  September 25, 1897

  Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

  Chapter Forty-Three

  The constant sound of the train on the tracks was at first delightful to Alice early in their journey across the country. The sound would gently lull her to sleep at night and ease her into her day when she awoke. But, on the last day before reaching Harrisburg, Alice found every click to be torture. Each tie of the tracks passing beneath them brought them closer to Joseph’s destination. She had not slept all night and, in the morning, the icy water she splashed on her face erased much of the puffiness that came from a hard cry, but did nothing to smooth over the agony in her heart.

  Joseph checked the paperwork from the bank a dozen times, shaved more carefully than ever before in his life and combed his hair several times. He would not have a sleeper car for privacy on the next leg of his journey and did not want to be fussing amid the passengers on the local train. He had only slept briefly himself, waking abruptly from a dream that he had arrived home and Yvonne was not waiting. Instead Alice had opened the store and she stood smiling, pretty in a fresh white apron. He’d kissed her, relieved, and then had woken up. He sat up in confusion on the narrow bed trying to make sense of the strange dream, but before he did, the sun had risen and he started the day.

  They met in the dining car for breakfast. They were scheduled to reach Harrisburg at eleven that morning. Joseph stood up and pulled out Alice’s chair.

  “I must tell you right up front,” she said as she sat in the chair, “I am quite terrible at goodbyes. If I get upset please don’t concern yourself.” She smiled sweetly.

  “I would be more bothered if you did not,” he said, sitting across from her. “I have to say that there is a very big part of me wishing you were joining me.”

  “Really?” Alice looked up.

  “I know it’s impossible and you have your own life to live, but I’m going to miss you terribly. It’s been quite an experience.”

  Alice fought to suppress the lump rising in her throat. “That it has. I will miss you more than you know, but let’s eat and smile and enjoy the rest of our time. You’re off to finally see Yvonne. Isn’t that why you’ve done this? You can’t imagine me going home with you. What on earth would you possibly say to her? Let’s enjoy our breakfast.”

  Joseph nodded, disappointed that she seemed so comfortable parting company with him. He did want to reach Yvonne and home and continue with his life, but letting Alice go would be more difficult than he had imagined.

  He watched her enjoy her breakfast, though he noticed she had actually eaten very little. She behaved as if she were very excited for him, conjecturing about how excited Yvonne would be to see him and the look on her father’s face when he saw how much money Joseph now had.

  “I’ll bet his expression will be something to remember,” Alice laughed. “I hate to miss that.”

  “I could write you about it.” He sat up excitedly.

  “Now, Joseph. What would Yvonne think about you writing to a woman you’ve spent the last year with? I’m certain she would not approve.”

  “That’s true.” Joseph sighed deeply. “But, I have no idea how to reach you.”

  “Why? If no one can know about me why would you want to?” Alice said. “You should forget me.”

  “Maybe you’re right. I didn’t think it through, I guess.” The finality of their parting began to hit him. “I guess after today I won’t ever see you again. That will be it. Everything we did we be in the past.”

  “It already is,” she said softly.

  “Everyone I ever tell about Alaska won’t know that part about you at all,” he said.

  “Isn’t that exactly the way you want it? How could you tell anyone that you lived with a former prostitute alone for a year? I thought you didn’t want Yvonne to ever know.”

  “I guess you’re right.” Joseph looked up at her and she could see he was genuinely upset by the realization. She had been preparing for it all along.

  He continued. “I was so caught up in just getting back and showing off I didn’t even think about it really. I didn’t think about the fact that after today I’ll never see you again.”

  Alice could not look at him. She still hadn’t adjusted to seeing him clean shaven, often having to look away and only listen to his soft-spoken voice. Now she saw him genuinely upset and suddenly sad. When he seemed only caught up in getting back to prove himself to Yvonne it hurt her terribly. Now that she saw him genuinely sad she felt horrible.

  “I will miss you more than you will ever know,” she said, fighting back her tears. “I want you to be happy, more than anything in the world. I would jeopardize that, I understand. After today we’ll be part of each other’s past. That’s how it is, Joseph. Please, let’s just eat.”

  They dined in silence and Alice walked with Joseph to his berth so that he could gather his bags. The conductor announced they would be pulling into Harrisburg in the next thirty minutes.

  Joseph closed the door to the berth behind him and Alice turned to face him.

  “What else have I not seen?” he said to her quietly. “I’ve been so damned caught up in this quest of mine I feel as if I have been with you all this time and I don’t even know you.”

  “Joseph, please,” she pleaded. “It’s nearly time for you to go. Be happy. Promise you will take that money and do everything in your power to find happiness. I’ll be fine if you promise me that.”

  He stepped up close to her and looked into her eyes. She was beautiful, genuine and kind. He was sure he could see right into her heart and he believed her words. “I promise,” he said. “And you, I want you to promise as well.”

  Alice looked down and cleared her throat. “I told you that I’m terrible with goodbyes. Now let’s get your things before you miss your stop. You do that and I will have to keep you all to myself.”

  Alice stepped around him and opened the door.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  The whistle blew shrill in the warmth of the clear September day. The conductor announced there would be a fifteen minute stop and Alice stepped from the train ahead of Joseph. She walked with him into the station where he would check his connection. His next train waited on a nearby track.

  “It looks like you’re all set,” she said as the whistle blew again. “I wish you happiness.” She struggled to hold back her tears.

  Joseph pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and touched her cheek.

  “Make yourself a wonderful life,” he said.

  The whistle blew again as if impatient.

  Alice nodded silently and leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. “Goodbye, Joseph. Know that you will always be in my heart.”

  Joseph felt the lump rise in his throat.

  Alice smiled and then turned and climbed aboard. She stopped and turned and saw him there, watching her leave. She wanted to remember him like this. He’d go and meet his Yvonne now and she hoped that she would love him as dearly as she did. She tried to envision him with Yvonne on his arm with children around their feet and a smile on his face.

  She spoke quietly to herself. “Be happy, Joseph. I love you.” Alice turned and boarded the train.

  Joseph watched for her to appear in a window but she never did.

  Alice stood just inside the train and felt her heart break. The train pulled away and he still did not see her anywhere. He heard the whistle for his own train and pulled himself away. In an hour he would be home. He thought he should be elated but he only felt empty.

  When the train left the station Alice went to pack her own things. She had the name of a city where she would get off the train. It was all she had. She didn’t even care what happened there. She felt cold and numb.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Joseph watched the landscape passing by and knew he was home. The gentle rolling hills of Pennsylvania spread out rich and green with farms, silos and lazy livestock dotting the hillsides. He saw a buggy, tall and bl
ack with a lone man inside. The Amish, Joseph thought. Steady and hardworking. He was nearly home.

  It’s what he had dreamed of from that moment years ago when he first left, his heart full of imaginings, naivety and promise. It was different now. He’d traveled so far and he felt so weary. He’d seen the best and the worst of people and he’d met some he’d never forget. He thought about Alice alone on the train. He struggled to put her out of his mind but he realized that he would never forget her. He hoped she’d be safe.

  Much more quickly than he expected, he heard the conductor call for his stop and he stood and gathered his bags. Joseph squared his shoulders and walked to the exit.

  When the train came to a full stop he stepped off with the other passengers and looked around. The station had grown in the time he was away, larger now and busier. He waited and, as the crowd thinned, he saw no one he recognized.

  Outside where the carriages were parked he saw that no one waited for him. Joseph returned to the platform and sat down on a bench. He pulled his watch from his pocket and saw that his train had arrived on time. Yvonne and her father must be late, he thought, and he waited.

  When the next train arrived there was a familiar face among the disembarking passengers. He recognized Isaac Linder, whom he had employed in his shop as a young man, and ran to catch him before he left.

  “Hello, Mister Southers. I wondered what had become of you.”

  “I’ve been to Alaska. Would it be possible to ride back to town with you?”

  “Of course. It’s good to see you back. Did you see people finding gold in Alaska?”

  “I did,” Joseph smiled.

  “We all sure miss your store. Another opened up after you left but the man there, although quite nice, never allows any credit and doesn’t care for the Amish much. It’ll be good to see you reopen.”

  Joseph thanked him for his kind words but did not tell him he that he had no plans to reopen the store.

  When the buggy pulled up in front of Southers’ Hardware store it was clear to Joseph how long he had been away. The shutters needed a fresh coat of paint, and weeds grew up all along the building. Several windows were broken and one of the lower steps had collapsed.

  “I suppose you have your work cut out for you there,” Isaac said. “Good thing you have a shop full of tools, eh?”

  Joseph thanked him for the ride and walked up to the front door of his store. He set his bags inside the door and looked around. Dust hung in the sunlight that streamed through the windows and long cobwebs dangled from the rafters. It had been perfect while he ran it, clean and fresh and orderly. He’d stayed long after hours many nights to remove items from the shelves and clean behind them. Now it was all consumed in dust. He’d dreamed of returning with a happy heart but everything looked completely forlorn. Joseph set his jaw. He was a rich man now and he had someone to see about it. He headed up the street to the livery.

  He hired a carriage and Joseph rode out to the Lambert house to see Yvonne and her father. It was not a long ride, but by the time Joseph arrived he was frustrated at having to make his own way from the station.

  He walked up to the front door and rapped the knocker firmly. A small woman he had never seen appeared at the door.

  “May I help you?” she asked.

  “I would like to see Mister Lambert please.”

  “Who may I say is calling?”

  “Joseph Southers.”

  She nodded, closed the door and returned after several minutes asking that he follow her. She led him into Peter Lambert’s den.

  “Well, Joseph, my boy.” Lambert stood behind his desk and offered his hand. “I began to wonder if you were really ever coming back.”

  “Hello, sir. I’ve written to Yvonne. I thought she would have expected me back today.”

  “Is today the day? That girl, she’s so busy with her parties and socializing I’m surprised she’s able to show up anywhere on time at all. So tell me, how did you make out on your travels? The papers are full of news about gold strikes. Did you make it to Alaska?”

  “I did,” Joseph said. “I’ve been there the last two years.”

  Peter Lambert looked at Joseph steadily. “And?”

  “I found what I went looking for.” Joseph suddenly felt that he owed Lambert no details. “I would like to see Yvonne, if I may.”

  “It seems to me that when you left here you vowed to return a rich man. Rich enough, in fact, to court my daughter.”

  “My understanding was that I would return rich enough to marry your daughter,” Joseph responded.

  “Now,” Lambert chuckled dryly. “I don’t think that was quite the deal. You would have to return very successful for that.”

  “And so I have,” Joseph replied. “I would expect, Mister Lambert, that my current bank account would greatly overshadow your own.”

  “Now, son. I am a very wealthy man. No matter what those newspapers might say about huge gold strikes I know what the real numbers are likely to be.”

  “I believe that the news stories I have seen on my trip home are not so outlandish.”

  “You’re saying you actually found gold?” The smile began to fade from Lambert’s face.

  “I did.” Joseph put his hands in his trouser pockets.

  “Well, are you going to tell me, boy? It’s been a very long time since I’ve heard a good story.”

  “I’d like to see Yvonne please. My current bank account exceeds half a million dollars. When she accepts my proposal of marriage I will be more than willing to discuss more detailed accounts.”

  Peter Lambert stared at Joseph in shock.

  “This damn well better not be some tall tale you’re telling me, son.”

  “It isn’t. Is Yvonne home?”

  Lambert eyed Joseph suspiciously. “I’ll have Emily fetch her. Wait here.” Lambert left Joseph in the study.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Alice readied her bags and sat in the dining car with a hot cup of tea watching Pennsylvania rush by the wide window. Now the repetitive sound of the passing miles only added to the numb feeling she had inside. The tea felt hot on her tongue but seemed tasteless to her. In a few hours she would reach a city about which she knew almost nothing. It was different when she had traveled to Alaska, she thought. There, someone had been waiting for her. She had a destination and a goal. Now she felt completely different. No one waited. She knew no one now except Joseph and he was gone. He had never even mentioned the name of the town where he lived. Alice decided to go through the motions of living until she could think clearly again. She would get the best room she could in Philadelphia and stay there until she could forget him. Then she would start over.

  She sipped her tea.

  Gradually the open countryside became more rural and as she neared the city she was impressed by the sights. When Alice finally disembarked at the Broad Street station she was overwhelmed by the number of people. Alice looked up at the high roof. She had never seen anything like it. She stepped out onto the street with her bags and caught her breath.

  The city was a hive of activity. Trolley cars rolled by clanging their bells along the cobbled streets and people hurried from place to place. She looked around for a carriage and found one with a well-groomed horse on the corner. When she approached, the driver stepped down and tipped his hat.

  “Are you in town for the jubilee?” he asked.

  “Actually no,” Alice replied. “Is that why it’s so crowded?”

  “Partly, yes. However the station is usually quite busy. May I be of service to you?”

  “I need a room, somewhere nice. Is that possible?”

  “I think so. Is this your first trip to Philadelphia?” The carriage driver was an older man, but not too old to notice that Alice was unusually beautiful and seemed a bit overwhelmed.

  “My very first,” Alice laughed. He had a kind and genuine look about him. She knew what to look for in a man and she saw no danger with the driver. “If you wouldn’t mind t
erribly I would love a little tour, maybe down a few of the more popular streets. Perhaps where there are some nice shops on the way to the hotel?”

  “May I suggest a nice ride down Chestnut Street and around City Hall?”

  “That sounds wonderful!” He helped Alice into the carriage.

  As they rode about, Alice noticed that massive homes stood on some of the corners, elaborate enough to be called mansions, she thought. Then there were tall buildings above rows of shops. She encouraged him to continue past the center of the city, and he took her into an area of the municipality he thought she would like. When he turned onto Walnut Street towards Front and crossed Dock Creek Alice saw a street lined with store windows. The buildings were brick, built in a Georgian style and set in a row. On the street level were charming shops with wide windows filled with small square panes. They appeared to have living spaces above them. She saw a sign in a vacant shop nestled between a well-kept lawyer’s office and a charming café and she excitedly signaled the driver to stop. He pulled to the curb and Alice stepped from the carriage. The sign indicated that the building was for sale and Alice wrote down the address of the seller.

  “Can you take me here?” Alice showed the address to the driver.

  “That’s actually just around the corner,” he said.

  “Is there a bank nearby?” Alice asked.

  The driver pointed up the street.

  Alice paid him and asked if he would wait for her. The driver looked at the generous amount of money she had put in his hand and nodded happily.

  After spending several minutes with the bank manager Alice then arrived at the address she had written down and knocked on the door. A servant answered and she inquired about the building.

 

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