Avoiding Commitment

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Avoiding Commitment Page 40

by craziebabe45


  Once she got in the cab, she pulled out her phone to check for any messages. Her heart fluttered when she saw that she had a missed call from Jack and a voicemail waiting for her to listen.

  After the annoying woman informed her of her options about the voicemail, Jack's clear voice rang in her ears. "Hey Lex, interview's over. It was just bs…just fucking bullshit. I…I don't really want to talk about it. I'm just gonna go home and crash. I'll talk to you in the morning. Have fun."

  The line went dead in her hands and she snapped the phone shut. She slid the phone back into her purse feeling dejected. Something had gone wrong at the interview, but he didn't want to talk to her about it. She knew that it was a completely rational reaction for him to not want to discuss his feelings. Guys were like that all the time. She just thought that they were beyond that point. They had known each other for a long time. But she didn't want to think about any other option for him not wanting to talk tonight. Chyna and Claire had planted a seed in her mind, but she just couldn't believe them.

  The only thing that she could think about right now was that after all that work she had put in for the school year, she was the only one left all alone for the night.

  Somehow she just wasn't sure how this night could get any worse.

  * * *

  Thanks so much for your support with the last chapter! My awesome reviewers: Cupid's Psyche, CaliBound, total romance., jet. black. dbs., misatok123, Sure as the Dawn, cosmopolitan, sammi-2688, and channingcaughtfire.

  K.A. Linde

  Hallway

  Ewan: Love lifts us up where we belong!

  Where eagles fly,

  On a mountain high!

  Nicole: Love makes us act like we are fools.

  Throw our lives away,

  For one happy day.

  -Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman "Elephant Love Medley"

  * * *

  Chapter 21: Present

  The stadium lights were illuminated for the occasion stretching out across home plate, through the gritty dirt to the pitcher's mound, splayed out through the evenly cut emerald green grass, and further down the endless rows of bleachers. City traffic could be heard as hundreds of cars traveled across the series of roads and highways that mapped the terrain. Twinkling stars were faintly visible overhead despite the perpetual lighting that whitened the black night.

  Lexi's heart stuttered as she attempted to compose her features. She folded her arms one over another and leaned onto the cool, black railing. Ramsey rested against the railing keeping his body angled towards her. His green eyes never left her face to survey the beautiful manmade structure below them.

  "What's going on?" he asked his deep, husky voice asking several things with his one question.

  "I…" Lexi sighed trailing off. "I don't know."

  Ramsey smiled, nodding along. "You're not sick."

  It was more of a statement than a question, but she nodded anyway. No, she wasn't sick. She was coming to a crossroads in her life, and she didn't know which road to take. She wanted to be with Jack. After all the shit she had put up with, he was still what she wanted. But could she handle this in-between time? Could handle him being with someone else while she waited like an idiot all over again?

  "I didn't do anything," he stated attempting to get all of the possibilities out of the way as to her illness.

  "You?" she asked a little taken aback. "No, you haven't done anything." Of course she had thought about Ramsey, but there was too much other stuff going on in her head that she hadn't allowed him much room. He was aggravating to no avail. Even now he was much too close for her level of personal boundaries. She could feel the warmth of his hand as it nearly grazed her elbow resting on the railing. His body tilted forward resting a mere six inches from her face. Such closeness should be reserved for intimacy, but she was coming to realize this was just Ramsey…or maybe he did want that intimacy. She cleared her thoughts. That was the last place she needed to let her mind wander. Even though honestly, it wasn't a bad alternative while she waited for Jack.

  "Then it can only be one thing," he told her. She turned to meet his determined gaze waiting for his guess. "Jack and Bekah."

  Lexi's heart, which had stilled as she let the light breeze calm her mind, kicked into overdrive at Ramsey's statement. Sure she knew that Ramsey had an idea about her and Jack from the conversation at Jack's apartment. As far as she knew though, he had no idea about her actual involvement with Jack. He had no idea of Jack's hold on her. He certainly had no idea that she had listened in on his threatening conversation with Jack.

  But she knew she shouldn't assume anything. Who knew if Bekah had told him or if Jack had spilled the beans about their past to him while she had been at home. She didn't want to think about that either. The last thing she wanted to do was have anyone else know about her relationship with Jack, and Ramsey was getting dangerously close.

  "What about Jack and Bekah?" she croaked running her fingers through the loose strands that had fallen out of her bun and compulsively threading it behind her ears.

  "I'm not sure, but it's something," he admitted leaning in even closer to her.

  Lexi breathed out a sigh of relief. He didn't know. That was comforting. Him invading her personal space further was not. "You're um…," she gestured between them, "in my space again. We've talked about this."

  He nodded not backing up an inch. "Tell me what's going on," he gently asked bringing his hand up and stroking her face. His hand trailed down from her temple and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He touched her earlobe, traced the line of her jaw, rubbed his thumb across her wet bottom lip, and tilted her chin up placing her lips so close to his they were nearly touching.

  Her breathing hitched at his advances. She liked the way he noticed her habits, the way he stroked her lovingly, the way the desire in his eyes showed he wanted her. It was intoxicating to be wanted so fiercely, to be able to see the passion written on his face. His piercing gaze melted her chocolate eyes. The heat passing between them was almost electric and Lexi felt a tingle of warmth wherever his hands had touched her.

  "I'm pretty sure," she fought the urge to close her eyes, "the only thing going on has something to do with you and me," she muttered huskily feeling her body turn towards him. His other hand, that wasn't securely under her chin, wrapped around her tiny waist bridging the distance between their bodies. A gasp escaped her lips. His grasp unexpectedly sending a rush of warmth down her body.

  "Maybe you're right," he whispered bending down even closer to her waiting mouth. His lips were so close to her, when she instinctively licked her own lips, she brushed up against his as well. A groan escaped him with the light, teasing contact and he hesitantly brought his lips down upon hers. The first touch was smooth and gentle as if he was testing the water. His lips were amazingly soft and she could taste the sweetness of peppermint on his breath.

  Warning alarms went off in her mind. All she wanted to do was ignore what her mind was telling her and get lost in the here and now. Forget everything that was keeping her stressed out and relish the beautiful moment of a man wanting her. A man that she could currently have.

  Her hands moved from their place on the railing and pushed against his hard, muscled chest. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't let this continue. It would just end up hurting everyone, herself included, even more than before.

  "I don't know if…" she trailed off again. He didn't let her finish her statement before pressing his body more firmly against her this time. Her mouth popped open in surprise leaving him with the advantage. He leaned his head down and kissed her bottom lip, gently sucking it between his teeth. Her eyes fluttered closed at the amazing sensation. Ramsey's hand moved from her chin and reached up to twine around her hair tugging softly on the strands to tilt her head back up to his face. He pressed his lips firmly against her own. It only took a second for Lexi to react and relax into him.

  Just as she was about to move and allow their tongues to get i
n on the action, there was a loud coughing sound from behind them. Ramsey and Lexi broke apart straightening themselves out as they faced the intruder.

  "I figured I'd find you out here," Chyna said cocking her weight to her right hip. She threw both hands up to her hips, leaning the left shoulder forwards, and tilting her head up defiantly.

  Lexi ran her fingers through her mussed hair and smiled hesitantly at her best friend. "Well you found me."

  "Oh no, I wasn't looking for you," she announced letting her eyes shift to the man standing next to her.

  "How can I be of assistance?" Ramsey asked politely stepping away from the railing.

  "Apparently there is a birthday going on inside," Chyna commented dryly. "You have something to do with that?"

  Ramsey looked a little sheepish as he took on Chyna's confrontation. "Indeed I do."

  "Then perhaps you should run inside and check on what's going on," she suggested. "There's some kind of catastrophe happening with the cake. Everyone's looking for you."

  Ramsey apologized to Lexi and quickly excused himself. He flashed Chyna a smile as he walked by, but she didn't return the gesture. Lexi let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding as soon as Ramsey was out of earshot.

  Chyna stalked right up to Lexi standing exactly where Ramsey had been on seconds earlier. "What are you thinking?" she cried leaning back against the railing and pressing her hand to her forehead.

  "Not now please," Lexi murmured feeling even more confused than earlier.

  "I think we should get out of here," Chyna told her. "You're a mess. I'm not even sure you know what you are doing anymore."

  "We can't leave," Lexi said shaking her head. "I can't leave yet."

  "I don't know why we should stay. Now I wasn't going to bring this up, but I can't stay silent chica. You're my best friend and I know you're hurting. Jack is here with his girlfriend and despite what just happened, I know how you feel about him, and it has to hurt like hell. Why would you want to go through that? Then…Ramsey?"

  "Well I don't know what I was doing with Ramsey, but I do know that I need to stay and see this through. Please…for me Chy," she begged her eyes swelling in size.

  Chyna shook her head contemplating the decision before her. As Lexi's best friend, she felt obligated to get her out of this situation. Lexi had been there for her more than anyone else in her entire life. How could she just let her friend walk into the fire pit? She saw no alternative though. Lexi was determined. "Fine, but can you please be careful?" she pleaded.

  After the girls agreed, they trudged back into the club where a loud chorus of Happy Birthday was being sung by the guests. Lexi and Chyna joined in with the celebratory tune weaving their way through the crowd to the birthday boy. Just before they broke through, Lexi glanced up at the screen where the slideshow had been circulating pictures of Jack's past. Her heart froze on the last image of the show.

  A high resolution photo taken within Ramsey's house only the past weekend was displayed before her eyes. Jack stood next to Bekah with his arm around her waist. Bekah's head was tilted sideways comfortably resting against Jack's shoulder. Ramsey had an arm slung over both Bekah and Lexi's shoulders. Lexi was leaning back against Ramsey's chest. The signs that she was too drunk to stand straight were already evident. All eyes were bright and smiling. Their faces were flushed from dancing.

  But what caught her eye was the look on Jack's face. He looked happy, buoyant even, but there was something different about his expression than the rest of the group. His eyes were diverted, cutting across his girlfriend and her brother straight to Lexi. And the look he was pressing towards her was very familiar. His eyes were crystal clear blue with desire. He only had eyes for her, and he wanted her. Even though his girlfriend was in his arms, he still couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Lexi.

  She glanced around the room transfixed by the image before her. How could no one else see what she saw in the picture? How could anyone think of including this very recent picture with him looking at her in such a fashion? But no one else seemed to be looking at the picture. At least no one was analyzing it quite like she was. She just couldn't believe it. Was everyone momentarily blind?

  "What are you doing?" Chyna hissed latching onto her hand and pulling her through the crowd. Lexi stumbled the few feet forward right into Ramsey. He reached out and slung his arm across her shoulder bringing her closer to the action. She glanced from him to Bekah to Jack. At the center of the table was a large sheet cake with blue frosting announcing Jack's birthday. He had both hands on the table poised to blow out the flickering candles. Everyone was yelling for Jack to make a wish in the background, but all Lexi saw was the way the group was entwined. They were practically set up for the picture again, but this time when Jack's head swiveled to the side, he locked eyes with Bekah before releasing his breath.

  The crowd cheered as the lights went out one by one relinquishing the room into darkness. Lexi sighed heavily running her fingers through the soft curls surrounding her face. She felt as if she were about to combust. Way too many emotions kept clouding her mind. The rollercoaster seemed to be dragging her around each loop and bend without care. How could Jack be so secure in Lexi only a few nights earlier and obviously have strong sexual desires for her, but at the same time be here, like this, with Bekah. She knew what he was capable of…of course she knew. She was trying to be smarter about the whole situation by staying away from him, but she couldn't stay away to her own detriment. She needed to talk to him. She needed to find out if he had just been lying to her when he had said all those things about wanting to be together. She knew Jack wasn't a liar, at least not to her, but something about the whole situation felt wrong. Well everything about the situation felt wrong, and that's what really worried her.

  The lights flickered back on to a dimmer setting and suddenly the entire atmosphere of the party began to change. Loud music filtered through the club speakers, the bar instantly became crowded with eager patrons ordering hard liquor drinks, and dancing took up the majority of the room. More people trickled in as the party began to roll into full swing. All of them seemed to know either Jack or Ramsey in some capacity not that Lexi could keep up with any of their names. Her mind was filled with other more pertinent conflicts.

  She let Ramsey lead her through a few dances despite her better judgment. He was such a good dancer though she couldn't help but stay on the floor with him longer than she had originally anticipated. Her plan had been to dance a number or two with Ramsey, cut in with Jack, and then somehow get him alone so she could speak with him about what was going on. So far that plan was falling to pieces.

  Ramsey was such an excellent diversion that she had completely lost track of where Jack had gone. Lexi's gaze had followed him as he had the bartender pour two drinks filled with dark liquid. Then she watched as he finished the contents of one and brought the other to Bekah who was chatting with her bitchy friends. She had giggled as he nuzzled into her neck and whispered something into her ear. When she turned to face him, he led her out to the floor where they danced together like the perfect couple everyone thought they were. The sight of them rubbing up against each other in such a manner had made Lexi gag and turn her focus away for a split second, and then they were gone.

  She cursed under her breath for losing them. It was getting late and she really needed to speak with him before she left. She would only be in the state for two more days, and if she didn't speak with him now, she had no idea what would happen. Would all this time she had spent here and everything she had gone through be for nothing? Or would she finally get the happy ending she deserved? She was still on the fence about what was going to happen, but she did know one thing. She couldn't stand around and wait to find out any longer. She needed to take action.

  Lexi leaned forward on her tiptoes facing Ramsey. His eyes traveled down to her lips staring expectantly as they moved closer to him. She instinctively licked her lips unable to control her inner tease before turni
ng her head to his ear and whispering, "Will you get me a drink? I have to go to the powder room."

  "Sure what would you like?" he asked wrapping an arm around her thin waist to hold her tight against him.

  "Surprise me, but no Jack Daniels," she prompted immediately.

  "Or a Sex on the Beach," he responded.

  Lexi stepped back automatically her mouth popping open in surprise. She couldn't remember ever telling him that she didn't like those. But yes that was always her next response. "Did I mention that to you?" she couldn't help asking.

  He smirked, his green eyes sparkling. "Intuition darling." He reached down and cupped her cheek sending chills down her heated body. His head dipped and he lightly brushed his lips across hers before disappearing to get her a drink.

  Her head was spinning. Where had that come from? And why did it suddenly feel familiar?

  She stared after his retreating back for a second before someone collided with her sending her stumbling back a few feet. The guy attempted to apologize, but Lexi remembered her desire to locate Jack by then. She rushed away from the man and began searching for the birthday boy. It really shouldn't be that hard to find him since the entire party was thrown in his name. Lexi's only concern was that she was going to find him in a precarious position. That was the last thing she needed to happen. She just couldn't imagine what that would do to her in that event. She wasn't sure how much more she could take from Jack, and didn't want him to tip her over the edge.

  The space wasn't that large and she quickly realized he wasn't anywhere noticeable. About to give up, she relieved herself, since that had been her excuse in the first place. As she was coming out of the women's restroom, Jack exited from the men's. A group of men called happy birthday to him as he began to walk back towards the party unaware that Lexi was directly behind him. She pushed past the other men her high heels clicking against the tile as she approached him. Lexi reached out and grabbed his hand before he entered the club again.

 

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