“Satisfied?” he asks, letting me go.
I bend over, resting my head on his stomach as I try to get my breath back and grip my jaw to soothe the ache.
“Cooper,” I sob. “I need to know what’s going on.”
“You don’t deserve to know what’s going on.”
“It was an accident!”
“Stop shouting at me. Your emotional instability will be your downfall.”
“And your lack of emotion will be yours. It’s a sad way to go, you know, to die a lonely old man.”
“Well, at least your plan is in the past now and you intend to let me reach old age.”
“Fuck you. You can go back to your break now.”
“Oh, you think I got bored and left you. Always so curious, Erin.”
“Something to do with being stolen. Being a prisoner has been known to make a woman curious.”
He shakes his head, but smiles.
“I hate you.”
“You do?” I smile back at him, refusing to let him see he’s winning. He’s winning and I can’t let him. “Good. Maybe you should just let me go, then.” When he shakes his head, I nod at the bear. “Who does the bear belong to? Just because it’s jam and not blood, it still belongs to someone. Are you holding children captive, too?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You haven’t learned your lesson?”
I shrug. “I guess not.”
“I’ll make you a deal,” he says, fisting the back of my head until my scalp feels like it’s on fire. “I’ll prove how wrong you are, but I want something in return.”
“What do you want?”
“An IOU. You can owe me. Since we’ve got the rest of our lives together, you can owe me.”
“Fuck you.”
“I may take a fuck…depends if you promise to do a better job than you did last night.” I blush as rejection stabs me in the stomach, forcing a quick exhale to escape. “Isadora, you may go.”
“But-”
“I said – you may go.”
Isadora nods, smiles at me softly, and then turns and leaves the kitchen. I still hate her. I hate that she has the right to leave.
“So I’m a bad lay. One more reason to let me run back to my fiancé.”
Cooper seethes, his face reddening with rage. He expected me not to play with him, but I’m game. I’ve got nothing to lose.
“You’re going nowhere. Make the deal, caterpillar. When I know I can trust you to deliver, I’ll calm your fucking neurosis and we can move on.”
“My neurosis? Charming.”
“You’re boring me, and I’m about to throw you back into time-out.”
“I’ll make your damn deal. Just show me whatever it is that will earn you a favour from me and then disappear again. I’ve kinda had enough of your face for one night.”
“I do love a dog who isn’t afraid to bite.”
“Yeah? We’ll see how much you like to be bitten next time you get too close. I’d keep your distance if I were you.”
“Lucky for you, I believe a bite warrants a bite. Bite me, I bite you, and I’ve got sharper teeth.”
I feign a yawn, although my heart is beating double time and my hands are clammy.
“Can we get this over with?”
“As you wish.”
Keeping me pinned to the glass with his pelvis, his hard cock barely contained in his bottoms and pressing against my stomach, Cooper reaches into his pocket. When he pulls another length of rope out, my eyes widen. He’s taking back the freedom he gave me. He spins me around roughly and forces my hands behind my back. He takes my ear between his teeth while he ties my wrists together.
“Why do I need to be tied?”
“Because I said so.”
When I’m tied, he grips the crease of my elbow and yanks me out of the kitchen. His touch isn’t gentle, but it isn’t angry. I feel like he’s more frustrated with himself than he is with me and I need to know why. He ties me up when he’s afraid…so what is he afraid of now?
He stops us on the way to the front door, pulling open a drawer and retrieving something from it. I found it earlier, but tucked it back in, deciding it told me nothing about the real Cooper, but now I know I was wrong again. The ball held tightly in the middle of a leather strap catches the orange hue of the lamp on the sideboard as Cooper turns to me and holds it towards me.
“Since I can’t trust you to keep your mouth shut, I’ll take extra measures to keep you silent.”
“I’ll be quiet.”
“I don’t believe you,” he retorts, mimicking what I said to him and adding resentment and a sense of authority.
“Whatever.” Rolling my eyes, I open my mouth.
He will not break me. He will not break me.
Cooper pushes the ball into my mouth and the ache is instant. My jaw creeks, my teeth clamp down and my tongue longs to extend.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
I look down at my naked body, dressed in nothing but Cooper’s cardigan. When he opens the front door, the frigid air gushes in and smothers me, whipping up between my legs, licking my nipples to pebble, making my hair fan out behind me, and a shiver ripples along my spine as my jaw tenses. Slotting his hand between my waist and my arm, so his fingers dig into my bicep and his knuckles bruise my ribs, Cooper walks me out the front door and along the front of the house towards a line of trees tens of feet high. He’s raped me outside before, on the ground by the gate that would have granted me freedom. Maybe that’s all I’ll need to take this time; let him exert his power, feel superior, and then I’ll be granted some time to recover.
While he does the same.
He doesn’t stop. He leads me towards the trees and then beyond them, until another house, identical to the one we just left, comes into view. He marches me along the grass, to the front door of the second house, and steps straight in. My feet are numb against the warm wooden floor, my teeth chattering against the ball and shivers making my stomach ache. I have no time to register where I am and what it looks like; Cooper drags me up the stairs and stops on the landing.
“You asked for this. I know for a fact, you can’t handle it.” His voice is low, a firm whisper of contempt. “Nor do I want you to know what’s behind the door down there. I’m letting you in because I refuse to let you believe I’m a killer, or a serial kidnapper, or whatever ridiculous theory you’ve come up with. I’m done telling you you’re different and hoping you’ll feel that I’m telling the truth.”
I try to talk and then remember I can’t, choosing to shrug my shoulders instead.
He rolls his eyes and continues our journey across the landing. He’s frustrated. He’s disappointed in me. He’s doing this to prove a point, which means he might regret it. Frustration, disappointment and regret, are three things that could lead to more punishment for me.
I only wanted a glass of wine.
Cooper stops us outside a closed white door.
“Do not make a fucking sound,” he says so quietly, I can barely hear him.
Then he takes a deep breath. And another…and another. My heart stutters, both in impatience, and in some sort of sympathy for Cooper. I’ve forced him to do this, and he’s not ready.
When he opens the door, warm pink light streams out and I hold my breath to halt a gasp. The walls are painted pink, with glittering stickers of castles and princesses and white unicorns. In the far corner is a four-poster bed, almost half the size of a regular single bed. Sheer white curtains hang from the ceiling sparkling with fairy lights. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look at Cooper and see something new in him. Love. Unconditional love, so strong it’s painful. Love so natural I feel its power slink into my bones and leave me calm and unafraid for the first time since he brought me here. Cooper’s hold on me loosens as he looks into the room, at the child fast asleep in the bed.
“This is-”
He halts when
the little girl stirs and grips the top of her duvet. I feel the tension rippling off Cooper, but he refuses to look at me, as the girl continues to shift in her bed and return to a deep sleep. It doesn’t happen. Instead, her eyelids flutter open and she rubs her eyes as she sits up. Cooper shoves me out of sight, sending me toppling to the floor so quickly I can’t stop myself from landing on my wrist. I feel the snap; I feel the break that sends paralysing pain up the length of my arm. I force myself to stay quiet, to ignore the agony of a broken bone, as Cooper steps into the room.
“It’s okay, butterfly,” he whispers. Beyond the ringing in my ears and the need to scream, I hear him sit on the bed. “I’m here.”
I want to get up, to run to the girl and save her from the man who took me, but I’m stuck. I’m helpless and I won’t be able to save her. Instead I curl up on the floor and hope I won’t hear her screams when Cooper hurts her to prove his damn point to me.
But what I hear makes the world around me disappear…and I know I’ll never get it back.
“I know.” She yawns, her soft voice drawing out her reply. “I love you, Daddy.”
I love you, Daddy.
Daddy.
I know what Cooper’s doing, I know what he intends to do, and I want no part of it. While he soothes the child, helping her back to sleep, I slide along the hallway to the top of the stairs. I bump down them one at a time, wincing and allowing another tear to fall when my wrist knocks the top of a step. I get to the bottom and look up, through the banister to where the warm light still comforts the little girl in the bedroom upstairs. I stand on shaky legs and force them to carry my body towards the front door. What does he want from me? He wants me to play mama to the little girl he’s holding here? He even gave her a dolls house and a rocking horse; everything a princess could want, and he has made her believe he’s her daddy. Cooper is fixated on love, on earning it so he can ruin it. The little girl in the room upstairs told him she loves him…her life is already over. I feel numb, nothing, as I continue through the ground floor of the house. I’m not trying to run. I’m not trying to escape. I’m not even worried about my broken wrist.
I just want to get away from the child, from the devastating knowledge that she’s going to suffer the same fate as I am. One that Cooper Jennings has decided and will administer when he decides it’s time. I’m no longer here to save myself. I’m here to save the little girl who believes Cooper is her daddy. The front door is unlocked and open, allowing me to slip outside. My good hand pulls at my bindings, trying to loosen the rope and let me out, but it’s no use. I’m falling apart. Cooper has broken not only the first frays of my soul, but now he’s broken a bone. He said he wouldn’t hurt me and he lied. Of course he lied.
The ground is cold, the same stones as the ones on the driveway of Cooper’s house digging into my feet as I make my way from his second house to his first. I’m not running; he has no need to punish me. I turn my head to look towards the exit, but I don’t attempt to go to it. For now, I can allow my family to live with the knowledge that I’m dead because I will get out of here. I will beat him and I will run free. I will fly like the butterfly and get the hell away from Cooper Jennings with the little girl in my arms.
I will save her.
I can’t get into the house. I manage to turn my back to the front door and reach behind me with the hand that isn’t broken to twist the handle, but I’m locked out. My jaw aches and I clench it to try and fix it in a more comfortable position around the ball gagging me. I feel like an animal, worthless and only here to be obedient. I shout out around the ball, throwing my head back and asking the man upstairs what I did to deserve this. Does desire require punishment? Is lust enough of a sin to lead me here? I slam my back against the door and slide to the ground, bowing my head to my knees and trying to ignore the pain lancing through my wrist to each of my fingertips. I know I can’t see straight, blinking rapidly to dry the tears and flick away the dark patches of an incoming blackout. My stomach is roiling, my hand smarts, my head hurts, my jaw aches, my tongue is numb, and I feel like death. I feel like I should let go, because I know this isn’t the worst Cooper can do. He told me himself. Curling up against the door, I close my eyes and beg sleep to find me.
When I wake up, there’s a tickle on my nose that makes me shiver and open my eyes. The morning sun is streaming down on the porch and I’m still sprawled out, naked with my hands behind my back. But there’s a flash of yellow in my line of sight, something with a warm brown edge and fluttering innocence. A butterfly has joined me this morning in the absence of Cooper and I wonder if last night was just a dream.
Someone clears their throat and I jump, turning my head to see Cooper at the bottom of the steps.
“I figured you’d left,” he said, his eyes raking my body and drinking in my appearance.
He steps forward and I flinch when he reaches behind my head and undoes the gag. My jaw hangs open and I roll it to try and find sensation.
“I’m not allowed to leave,” I slur.
I scream when he tears the rope from me, stripping my skin with the force and burning what’s left as the fibres score my flesh. I sit up, pressing my good hand to the floor to help me scurry away from him. I hold my hand to my chest and stare blankly at him. I’m done.
“You didn’t try? Not even after-”
“Especially not after.”
He stills, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels just once. It’s his tell; the one he has when he’s nervous and anticipating my reaction. Why would he give a shit how I react? He knows I can’t leave. I’m here for as long as he has a purpose for me. He smiles. The sick fuck smiles in sadistic pride and confirms my thoughts. This child was taken, stolen; she’s being kept here just like me…only she’s too young to understand.
“Let’s fix your wrist.”
When Cooper touches me, lifting me to my feet to stand, I feel nothing. When he leads me indoors and wraps a blanket around my shoulders as he guides me through to the bathroom, I feel numb. I’m a hollow shell…on the outside. On the inside, I’m looking for a weapon. I’m looking for a way to hurt him, to escape, get the girl and get out. I’m wondering where his phone is, where the maid is and if she has a phone I can steal, or if someone somewhere is finally going to give me a break. Cooper stops me and stands in front of me as he slides me onto the counter. The granite is cold against my backside, reminding me of yesterday morning. My body is fragmented, broken, and torn to shreds. My bottom lip begins to tremble, but Cooper takes a gentle hold of my forearm and extends it, my fingertips brushing his cotton t-shirt.
“What happened?” he asks, his voice low and soft.
“You shoved me and I fell.”
“I did this?”
“Why do you sound so surprised? Your intention is to kill me, Cooper.”
“It isn’t my intention.” He growls, frustrated with my lack of understanding. “I just will if it comes to it.”
“If what comes to what?”
“Does this hurt?” I look down at my arm as he presses his finger to the bottom of my wrist over the veins. I jump, cry out and try to pull away from him. “Hold still.”
“Just put a splint on it and leave me alone.”
“It needs to be casted.”
“Does it?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I shrug, gritting my teeth when a tear drips from my eye and lands on my arm. Cooper checks my fingers, tests my reactions further up my arm, and inspects the cut in my hand, ignoring the wet splodge on my pale skin. It stains me, cleans me from the dirt after a night with the elements, and stands out between us like a fireball of something neither of us understand.
“It’s broken.”
“I know.”
“Give me an hour, okay?” he asks, grabbing a tea towel and wrapping it around me like a sling. “I’ll take you to get it fixed, but I need an hour.”
“Whatever.”
He sighs, and I know exactl
y what he wants from me. He wants a fight; he wants me to battle against him so he can show me how strong he is, but I refuse. I refuse to give into whatever it is that gets him off by doing this. Last night he was angry; today, he’s gentle and full of remorse. I don’t want either. I just want him to leave me to rot while I figure out a way to get us out.
“What’s her name?” I ask as he cleans the cuts on my hand and hands me a glass of water with two paracetamols.
“Doe.” I gulp down the water, and choke on his answer. Doe. Jane Doe. The woman with no identity. “Her name is Aldora. It means winged gift.”
Winged gift. His obsession with butterflies has carried over to his child captive. Not only is she a Jane Doe, a girl with no name, he has renamed her accordingly. My stomach churns with sickness for this man.
“She’s pretty.”
“She looks like her mother.”
“Where’s her mother?”
Cooper shrugs. “Around.”
With that he tugs me off the counter and takes hold of my hand. My body no longer belongs to me. I shut down and allow him to drag me through the house with no resistance, and he takes me back to the tower. I stumble when he shoves me forward, twisting my body to protect my wrist and land on my side instead. I grunt and groan, sitting up and refusing to cry in front of him, despite the dam threatening to burst.
“You’ve still earned punishment.”
“Of course I have.”
“I want you to have a think about your actions before I get back.”
“Goodbye, Cooper.”
He turns and leaves, slamming the door behind him so it echoes around the room. I have a bedroom downstairs, in the main house, but the tower has begun to feel like home already. I don’t want anything that reminds me of the life I had. I don’t want to sleep in a bed and wish Griffin was beside me. I don’t want to curl my toes into thick carpet and remember stretching before heading out on a morning run. I don’t want to see a door and know I can’t walk in and out of it of my own accord. I want to see this, nothing, so I remember exactly what Cooper has taken from me.
Everything.
Butterfly Page 9
