by Aileen Fish
Rubina had a stubborn streak, and she fully intended to lean on it. It was the only recourse left to her. Noah could take it or leave it—either way, she wasn’t about to explain to him why her life was falling apart. She had to protect him and their unborn child. When the time was right, she’d tell him everything. Now was not that time.
He rocked back on his heels. “I see.”
Did he? Rubina was afraid he saw far too much. “Good. Now do you want to do something more pleasant?”
“No.”
It was her turn to jerk back. His words were like a slap to the face. “I don’t understand.”
“You don’t need to.” Noah sighed. “It’s time we did things a little different. Somewhere along the way we lost sight of what we meant to each other.”
Rubina nodded. She understood that much. The years apart—years they’d lost because of Paolo—had destroyed something between them. Her lies held the distance in place.
“I know.”
“This whole time I’ve been trying not to love you—to need you—but I don’t think it’s possible. It’s tearing me apart.” Noah reached for her and pulled her into his arms. “It’s making me need you—want you—so much more. It’s not enough though.”
“What do you want from me?”
Rubina was growing more and more confused with each word he uttered. This was a side of her husband she hadn’t seen, well, since they married. They’d fought so much when they left Italy. England had bridged a gap between them—like a city divided upon itself. They were both stubborn and believed they were right. They had failed to compromise. Maybe this was the silver lining she’d been hoping for. If he was able to forgive her when he didn’t have all the facts… There could be hope for them once they found themselves on the other side of the mess Paolo had made of their lives. Noah didn’t know they had another battle to get through yet.
He pleaded with her. “I want a chance.”
“A chance for what?”
“To win you back to have the life we originally planned.” He started to unpin her hair. It fell down in blonde waves down her back. “To make you love me again.”
Rubina gasped. “That’s not possible.”
Because she never stopped loving him—he couldn’t make her feel something she’d never lost.
“It is, and I intend to make it happen.”
“No…”
“Yes. This is a war I intend to win.” He trailed kisses down her face and neck. “Trying not to love you isn’t working for me—it only makes me love you more.”
Her eyes watered, and tears trailed down her cheeks. She couldn’t tell him she still loved him. Not yet. Still her heart soared to hear him say the words.
“Please, don’t say these things.”
They broke her. How could she keep her resolve when he tore down her walls with such sweet words? It would make it even more difficult to let him go if she couldn’t find Paolo.
“I will say them every day until they sink in.” Noah lifted her chin. Rubina refused to meet his gaze. “Look at me.”
His voice was harsh. Rubina lifted her eyes to meet his. They were full of heat and a storm of need.
“Two weeks.”
“What is in two weeks?” she asked.
“Give me two weeks. If I can’t win your love back by then, I will let you go.”
This didn’t make any sense to her. What had changed? “What about your desire for an heir.”
Noah let her go and took a step back. “We haven’t conceived by now. I think it’s for the best. If you decide to stay, we can try again. For now, I think it is best we abstain from that part of our marriage. It was foolish of me to think to bring a child into a marriage on the brink of falling apart.”
Rubina choked back a lump in her throat. He didn’t want to make love to her anymore. This was all wrong… She should tell him, but what good would that do. Her husband now believed a child was the wrong thing to bring into their marriage. Stupid—so, so stupid—how could she have messed this all up so horribly?
“So what will you require of me then?” Rubina was almost afraid to ask. “If you no longer require a child from me, I’d like to know what this two weeks is for?”
Noah smiled. “Oh, we will share a bed. We will remain chaste for now.”
“You need to explain what you want, Noah. This doesn’t make sense to me.”
“The simple answer is I’m going to court you.”
Rubina frowned. “You don’t share a bed with a woman you are courting.”
“I realize that, but I have my reasons.”
“I don’t like this.” Rubina paced the room. “What happens at the end?”
“If you still want to leave, I won’t stand in your way.”
“And if I want to stay?”
This was all rather—strange.
“Then I will do everything and anything to ensure you are the happiest woman for the rest of our life together.” He stalked forward. Rubina took a step back. “And when I make love to you that night, it will be so good.” He smiled wickedly, “…You’ll beg me to give you more.”
“What if I don’t want to give you this time?”
“On this, I must insist. Two weeks isn’t a long time. You were going to give me months before.” He grabbed her again and pulled her back into his arms. “Say yes, Ruby.”
How could she say no?
“You sure you don’t want to make love?”
He laughed. “I think you’re worth waiting for.”
“So tonight we are just going to sleep together?”
He kissed her lightly. “I look forward to holding you all night. I’ve been denying myself the pleasure for way too long.”
How had she gotten so lucky? Surely she had the best husband in the world. Rubina didn’t deserve him, but she wasn’t going to turn him down. Maybe this was for the best. At least she’d still have him with her each night. It would give her a little more time to deal with the Paolo situation. There was only one problem: she couldn’t sneak away to meet Damian. She’d have to find another way to meet with her brother. It was time to deal with her nemesis once and for all. This was all driving her crazy.
As to Noah’s request… She could at least give him the answer he sought.
“All right,” she agreed. “I will give you your two weeks.”
“I never doubted you’d say yes.”
Chapter Thirteen
Noah stared blankly down at the report Marcus had sent him. His wife had left the house in the early morning hour and went to visit her brother. She hadn’t been inside long enough for a visit though. It appeared as if Damian had been out.
Noah couldn’t help wondering where he was, but that wasn’t his biggest concern.
Rubina had sneaked out of bed. Falling asleep with her nestled in his arms had been a little piece of heaven. Noah had been sound asleep when she decided to pay her brother a visit. It made him wonder how long she’d been planning to go to see Damian. Why was it necessary to go so early in the morning—well before regular visiting hours. Social calls happened in the late morning hours. The Albany didn’t encourage female visitors before then. Noah was rather surprised she gained entrance at all.
This all had to do with whatever secret she kept from him. Marcus had better find some answers soon. He needed to know the truth. This pretending game his wife had going on was going to break them soon if he didn’t. He scrubbed his hands over his face. This was becoming an obsession. Jealousy was an ugly emotion, and Noah had it flowing through him in waves. The problem was he didn’t know exactly what he had to be jealous of. As the days went by, he firmly believed his wife didn’t love another man.
At least not the way a lover did.
The strong bond she shared with her brother though—this secret had to do with him. Noah would bet his entire estate on it. Damian was at the center of it all. Whatever they were hiding was the reason Rubina closed herself off to him. It might not be entirely about her brother
, but he did know the truth. It was that knowledge that drove his jealousy. She turned to her family—instead of him. For Noah, Rubina was his family. She was the one person he’d go through the fires of hell for.
They deserved to find happiness. Whatever tore them apart before had to be put behind them. Noah planned to see that happen one way or another. Rubina was his wife, and he intended on loving her for the rest of his days. No other woman would ever hold his heart. He didn’t believe, for one second, she’d stopped loving him either. Whatever her reasons were for her lies had to be strong. She was too willing to walk into his arms and let him make love to her. A woman in love with another man would find a way to run in the opposite direction.
His wife practically begged him to love her—without saying the actual words.
That spoke loudly to him. What she wanted was perfectly in line with his own wishes. It was time he listened to the truth. This courtship idea was a way for her to see his words matched what he wanted for them. When Noah made a promise he kept it.
Now, as for her morning visit—she’d have to answer some questions. Her safety was his highest priority. He didn’t want her sneaking out on a regular basis. There was always a chance the men he hired might miss her. Noah couldn’t take a chance she’d slip away and some kind of harm come to her. He’d lost her once, and he refused to let something nefarious happen again. He folded the missive and put it in his desk drawer. It was time to have a conversation with Rubina.
Noah found her in the sitting room. Her face was rather pale. That seemed to be her usual hue lately. A momentary concern came over him as he observed her. What could be ailing her?
“Hello, dear,” he said as he entered the room. “How was your morning?”
Rubina glanced up. “It was splendid. I paid Gemma a visit. I know we are going to be dining there this evening, but I wanted to get out for a little while.”
The truth—but not the whole truth. Rubina had gone to see Gemma Marsden. She just made another stop first. He found it interesting she neglected to tell him about visiting Damian. It was one more reason he knew there was something big she hid from him. He would find out what it was soon enough. Noah wouldn’t press her—yet. Part of him hoped she’d come to him with the information on her own.
“I trust you found her well?”
She smiled. “As well as a woman who is enceinte can be. She was a little green when I dropped in. The babe is making her ill in the morning hours.”
“I’m surprised she felt well enough to visit.” Noah frowned. “If she was feeling out of sorts, she should have rested instead of entertaining.”
“Gemma is perfectly capable of sitting down and having a conversation.” Rubina glared at him, her voice filled with disapproval. “A woman doesn’t become an invalid because she is carrying a child.”
Noah rocked back on his heels. “I didn’t mean to imply she was…”
Rubina interrupted him, “Furthermore, we are more resilient than you think we are. Women are capable of doing a great many things. We do not need to be coddled.”
“I see.”
And he did.
Noah saw things very clear. His wife was making a big deal over Gemma’s pregnancy. It made him wonder if she wasn’t telling him something… It would explain her pale complexion. Though he hadn’t witnessed any other signs, it could be he was hoping for something that wasn’t actually true. He wanted a child. More importantly he wanted one with his wife.
She nodded. “It’s best you do.”
“Oh, I assure you, I understand perfectly.”
Rubina narrowed her eyes into tiny slits and studied him. “What exactly do you think you understand?”
Bloody hell… He might have gone too far. It was time to distract her. “I noticed you left our bed rather early this morning.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “I had trouble sleeping.”
“You could have woken me up. I would have kept you company.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You slept so soundly. I didn’t want to disturb your rest. I’m capable of seeing to myself.”
Noah frowned. It sounded reasonable. Perhaps he was not seeing things as clearly as he’d thought. She seemed fine. Even the color was returning to her cheeks. Sometimes he just saw what he wanted to see. In this case maybe he was only hoping his wife carried his child… She seemed as resilient as she claimed.
“Did you go anywhere else this morning?”
“No.”
She lied. Why would she hide her visit to her brother? It didn’t make sense.
“Damian hasn’t been by. I thought he said he would come for a visit.”
Her head jerked up. Fear filled her eyes—she quickly hid it. Not before he saw the flash of it fill them though. Rubina was worried. When he responded to Marcus’s missive he’d add another assignment. Damian needed to be found.
“I’m sure he found something to keep him busy.”
She hid it well, but Noah knew her. Her lower lip quivered a tiny bit before she answered him. Rubina was worried something had happened to her brother. What though—Noah could only guess. Maybe it was time to push her to give him the answers.
No. She would close up even more. It had to be her idea.
“You’re right. Damian always did follow his own path. No doubt he’s found something amusing to keep him busy over the past several weeks.” He bowed his head toward her. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to change for dinner.”
“Yes. I should retire to my chambers as well.” She stood up next to him. “My new gown was delivered this morning. It’s beautiful—the color of rubies. Madame Roussard is a genius with the needle.”
“I’m glad you liked it.” Noah smiled. She would like his other gift to. He intended to fasten it around her neck himself after she was dressed.
“It’s lovely.” She smiled. “Perhaps the prettiest gown I’ve ever owned.”
“Come, I’ll escort you up to your room.” Noah held out his arm to her.
Rubina smiled. “I’d like that.”
They strolled up the stairs. He stopped just outside her room. She glanced up at him through a hooded gaze. She seemed to be waiting for something from him.
“I’ll meet you downstairs when it’s time to depart.”
Disappointment filled her eyes as he took a step back.
“Yes.” She toyed with her hands, anxiety filled her voice. “I…”
Noah pulled her into his arms. A small gasp escaped her lovely mouth. He took the opportunity to press his lips against hers. Her fingers quickly wound around his neck, allowing him to pull her further into his embrace. The kiss was filled with so much passion it burned inside of him. If he pushed it, they’d be making love in her room in mere seconds. He wanted to strip her and kiss every inch of her.
But he had to be strong. This was a courtship. It didn’t matter if they were married. He had to show her respect. Make her realize she could trust him and that he would always keep his word. They would have nothing if she couldn’t learn to believe he’d always protect her.
So he took a step back. It was the hardest thing he’d ever done.
“Why did you stop?”
Her breathing was ragged and desire shone brightly in her eyes.
Noah smiled. “I can’t very well ravish the woman I am courting. It wouldn’t be proper.”
Rubina pouted. She ran her fingers down his chest. “I wouldn’t mind. I like it when you’re not entirely proper.”
Noah laughed. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “Not tonight, dear. We made a deal, and I am sticking to it. Now, be good and I’ll bring you a present in a little while.”
Her lips tilted into a coy smile. “Does it involve you giving me something I really want?”
“Please,” he begged. “I’m only a man—flesh and bone. I can only take so much temptation before I give in.”
“One would certainly hope so.” She cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand. “You k
now you want to kiss me again. Just one little kiss… What could it hurt?” She blinked her eyelashes at him as she flirted. “Kiss me like you mean it, Noah.”
How could he say no?
So he swooped down and kissed her as if his life depended on it. The truth was it very well might. He could stop at any time. She was his drug—one he willingly succumbed to. How did he think he could survive two whole weeks without making love to her? Somewhere along the way he’d lost his bloody mind.
He tore himself away from her. Her lips were plump from his kisses… It made her even more beautiful to him. Noah shook his head and took several steps back. If he didn’t, he’d pull her back into his arms, and then there would be no turning back.
“Love me, Noah.”
He jerked his head up and met her gaze. It was filled with such decadent promises. Ones he knew she could and would fulfill if he took her up on them. He couldn’t though. This had to go the way he planned. It did not include him giving in a little more than a day.
“Always…”
“Then join me. Show me how much.”
“No,” he croaked, his voice raw with emotion. “Don’t ask me again.”
Noah spun on his heels and headed toward his room. One more second and he’d have been stripping every piece of clothing off of Rubina. Then they’d never make it to Liam and Gemma’s dinner party. The tether he had on his control was slipping each moment he spent in her company. Soon he’d be on his knees begging her to love him. When that day came he hoped she took pity on him.
If Rubina refused to admit she loved him… Noah would be lost for good.
Chapter Fourteen
Rubina sat in front of her vanity staring blankly at her reflection. She would have to move soon. Noah was probably already waiting for her… The dinner party should be something she looked forward to. It was meant to be a light evening amongst family and friends. Instead, she had other worries.
Noah was being rather lovely. Every moment she loved even more than the one before, but she still couldn’t bring herself to tell him everything. A decision had to be made. Damian wasn’t in his rooms. She’d checked when she attempted to visit him.
