“So they’re in big shit then?” I ask, unable to stop the slow spreading smile taking over my face.
“Bloodthirsty woman,” he mutters, but I see his lip twitching, giving away his amusement. “Now where are we going? To the clubhouse or to our house?”
I think about it. “Clubhouse. I think we should move into the house after Clover is born.”
“I love that you love it at the clubhouse,” he admits.
I shrug. “Those guys have grown on me. Everyone has, even Allie that bitch.”
Dex laughs. We’re silent for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts.
“I miss Mary,” I whisper. “She didn’t deserve to die.”
“I know,” he replies. “She was a good woman.”
“Too good,” I say on a sigh. I hope she’s in a better place. They say death is easy, it’s living that’s hard. I love my life, and I wouldn’t say it was hard. But I understand when they say death is easy, because those people who pass away don’t have to live with the sadness and the pain of losing someone.
When we arrive at the clubhouse, my mouth drops open as I see the women standing there with pink balloons.
“What the hell is this?” I ask, excitement coursing through me.
Dex wraps his arms around me from behind. “Baby shower. This is my clue to leave. Brothers and I will be at the bar.”
Then he and anyone with a penis, within a one kilometer radius, leave the clubhouse without a backwards glance.
We walk into the living area which has a table full of wrapped gifts. Tears well in my eyes. “You guys!”
Allie smiles sadly. “Mary was planning it before…”
I give her a shaky smile then look to Cindy, Jess, and the others. “Thanks, all of you.”
“You’re welcome,” Cindy says. “Now let’s eat then play some baby shower games.”
I grin and follow them into the kitchen.
*****
“Where’s Arrow?” I ask Dex later that night when all the guys came back to the clubhouse.
Everyone goes deathly silent. “What?”
“You didn’t tell her?” Jim asks Dex.
“Tell me what? Oh my god! What happened to him?” I ask, walking up to Dex and grabbing onto the lapels of his leather jacket. “Is he okay? You said he was okay?”
“He’s in jail babe, I didn’t want to stress you out any more,” he says, putting his hands on my stomach.
“Why is he still in there?” I ask. “What priors did he have?”
All the men exit the room. What the fuck?
“He didn’t get take in on gun possession, he got taken in on murder charges,” Dex says, his eyes betraying the casualness of his tone.
“What?” I gasp, shaking my head no. “No. No this is not happening.”
Arrow? My mind races.
Flashbacks.
Him cooking breakfast naked. Him smiling at Mary. Him staring at my stomach like I was contagious.
“Club lawyer is on it,” Dex says. “Let him do his job.”
“When I’m the club lawyer, no one is going to fucking jail,” I mutter, my voice cracking.
Dex grips my chin. “When?”
“When.”
He lowers his head and gives me a possessive, lingering kiss that makes my head spin. “Baby shower’s over yeah?”
“It can be,” I reply against his lips.
“Good,” he replies. His eyes touch every feature on my face. He pushes his hips against me, letting me feel how hard he is. “See, triple chin, and I’m still hard as a fuckin’ rock.”
I gasp. “You ass—”
Another kiss cuts me off. He walks me backwards into our bedroom, mouths still attached.
Soon, our clothes are on the floor, and Dex is right where he belongs.
Chapter Twenty Nine
“I like this whole waddling thing you’ve got going on,” Tracker says, eyes laughing at me. I’m now almost nine months pregnant, and the whale jokes are getting old.
“You guys are such jerks,” I say around a mouthful of ice cream.
“And I can see why Sin is so whipped,” he says, watching my tongue lick the top.
I pause. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
“I don’t get any complaints,” he adds, rubbing his chest with his palm.
“How’s Allie?” I ask nosily, wiggling my eyebrows.
His expression doesn’t change. “Why don’t you ask her?”
I lick my ice cream and pout. “Fine don’t have a deep and meaningful conversation with me.”
“You want it deep?” he replies in a low tone.
“Is that your sex voice? Hot!” I reply, fanning myself.
He doesn’t look impressed, but I think I see a lip twitch. “There’s a danger in loving someone too much…”
“That’s a song!”
“What?”
“That line is from a song,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m a hundred percent sure it is.”
He stares at me for a few tense seconds. “I’m going to get a drink.”
As he walks out of the living room, I feel something.
Shit.
I walk into my bedroom, looking for Dex. I hear the shower on, so I open the bathroom door. The room is filled with steam, and he’s singing the lyrics to an Incubus song.
“Dex…” I call out. The shower curtain opens and his head sticks out, still covered in shampoo.
I look down my legs, to where my water’s just broke. “I need to go to the hospital. It’s time.”
I speak to him in a calm tone, but as soon as the words penetrate I can see the panic fill him. “Now?”
He turns the shower off and jumps out. “Babe, wash the shampoo out first.”
He runs a hand through his hair then jumps back in, not even waiting for the water to get warm. I walk back into the room and grab my already packed overnight bag, and the smaller bag which is packed for Clover. When he runs out and starts to get dressed, I get into the shower and breathe through the contractions. Dex slides open the curtain. “How are you doing?”
“Okay. Can you call the hospital and let them know we’re on our way?”
He nods and leaves the bathroom. I turn the shower off and dry myself. I’m putting lotion onto my skin when Dex stops in front of me.
“Really? Do we have the time for this?”
I hide a smile. “I’m ready; I just have to put on my dress and some panties.”
He helps me dress, then we walk out of the room. Tracker walks towards us, drink in hand. “You okay?”
“She’s having a baby, no she’s not fuckin’ okay,” Dex growls.
“Dex,” I snap.
Tracker’s eyes go wide, and he starts to stare at my crotch like the baby is going to drop out at any second. “I’ll go get the car ready.”
Rake walks over and holds my other side. “Say goodbye to your tight…”
“Do not even finish that sentence!” I snap at him. “Dex please hit him for me.”
“I will afterwards,” Dex replies, opening the front door for me. Tracker is standing by the car, with the doors wide open and the engine running. Dex helps me into the front seat and fastens the seat belt for me. Rake and Tracker both take turns kissing me on the forehead and wishing me good luck.
“You okay?” Dex asks as he reverses.
I breathe in and out. “So far so good. Luckily the hospital isn’t too far away though.”
Dex reaches over and takes my hand in his.
We’re almost at the hospital when I cry out. “Fuck!”
“What?” Dex yells, panicking.
“That contraction hurt. Oh my god! It hurt!” I say, trying to breathe through the pain.
Dex starts cursing. “We’re almost there babe.”
“This is all your fault!” I yell, looking for someone to blame for the pain I’m in.
“Babe, we’re here. You can yell at me all you want let’s just get you in there.”
And y
ell at him I did.
*****
Thirteen hours later, I hold an eight pound Clover Mary Black in my arms. With her father’s black hair and my hazel eyes, she is absolutely adorable. She has chubby cheeks and little pouty heart-shaped lips.
She’s perfect.
“You were amazing,” Dex tells me, blue eyes sparkling. “That was… something else.”
“Scarred for life are you?” I ask, trying not to laugh.
He scrubs a hand down his face. “You didn’t see it! A thick head of black hair stretching the shit out of your…”
“Dex!” I growl when the nurse starts to give him dirty looks.
He takes Clover from me, holding her in his large arms. “She’s so tiny. Is she meant to be this small?”
“She’s very healthy,” I tell him. “Everything is as it should be, don’t worry.”
I roll my eyes as he fiddles with the Wind Dragons baby beanie he had made for her. “Everyone wants to come in and see her, is that okay? Or do you want to wait?”
“Send them in, I don’t mind,” I reply, covering my breasts with the sheet. In fact, I can’t wait to show her off. How did I create something so perfect?
Cindy, Allie, and Jess rush in first while Tracker, Rake, Jim, Trace, and Vinnie trail in behind. The women ooh and ahh, and the men stare at her like they have no idea what they are meant to do with her.
“You did well, baby mama,” Tracker says. I notice him and Allie holding hands.
“Did you expect otherwise?” I ask with a raised brow.
He grins and shakes his head. “I think we know not to underestimate you.”
Dex gently drags a tattooed finger down Clover’s rosy cheek. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
Tracker puts his hand on Dex’s shoulder. “We have your back, brother, always.”
Rake puts his hand on his other shoulder. “You think anyone’s going to want to touch the Wind Dragons’ princess?”
I roll my eyes at their protectiveness. “Give the girl some room to breathe.”
Clover starts to cry, and Dex starts fussing over her. We all watch with wide eyes as he gently rocks her back to sleep.
“I’ve got this,” he grins smugly. Jim looks amused, wrapping his arms around Cindy and watching on.
Dex’s eyes find mine. “I’ve got this,” he repeats, kissing Clover on her forehead.
*****
We have six weeks of bliss before Dex has to go to court. Just as I had guessed, he got six months behind bars.
Six. Fucking. Months.
The day before he had to leave, I cried. I cried so much that Dex begged me to stop.
“Don’t cry Faye, I need to know that you’re going to be okay or I’m gonna go fuckin’ crazy in there,” he says. He slides down onto his knees before me. “I need you to be strong for me.”
We make love frantically, then slow and gentle.
In the morning before I wake up—he’s gone.
That day itself, I move back into the clubhouse. No way am I staying alone in that house for half a year. I’d drive myself crazy in no time. Clover helps to make time go quicker than I thought. I miss Dex every day, but Clover is my shining light.
She gets me through the darkness.
“She’s looking more like you every day,” Tracker muses, staring down at Clover.
I look down at her angelic face. “Do you think so?”
He peers down at her again and bobs his head. “Yeah, she’s your mini me.”
We’re silent for a few seconds.
“How are you holding up?” he asks in a low tone.
I exhale heavily and lean back on the couch. “I’m okay because I have to be, you know?”
“You’re fuckin’—” He looks down at Clover and then starts over. “You’re strong, you know that? Who would have thought that you—walking into the clubhouse with no clue, wearing cupcake pajamas and staring at us all wide-eyed like you had no idea what to do with us…”
He laughs and shakes his head. “You turned out to be the best thing to happen to Dex, and you’re more than old lady material. You don’t just take care of Dex…”
“Hey love the man love the club, right?” I add when Tracker trails off. I yawn, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth.
Tracker grins. “Let Allie and me watch Clover. You get some sleep.”
“Okay, if you two don’t mind,” I say, the exhaustion of being up all night with Clover catching up to me.
“Just ‘cuz Dex isn’t here—we’re gonna look after you,” Tracker says softly, running his hands through his blond hair.
“I know,” I reply. “So are you and Allie together?”
He tilts his head to the side. “I guess we are, yes.”
“Good, you deserve to be happy,” I tell him, meaning every word.
“For the record, we could have been fuckin’ amazing together,” he says, stretching his arms above his head lazily.
I can’t stop the blush that makes an appearance. “Is that right? I’ve heard about your piercing. You know…”
“No I don’t, why don’t you tell me?” he replies, looking amused.
“Your piercing,” I repeat, pointing down to his crotch.
“Oh this,” he says, unbuttoning his jeans. “Do you want to see?”
I elbow him in the ribs, laughing. “I’m curious but not that curious. Dex would kill you.”
He smiles. “Good to hear you laugh again.”
I watch as he gently takes my daughter from my arms, then kisses the top of my head. “Sleep. Clover will be fine.”
“Thanks Tracker,” I mumble, my eyes already closing.
My last thought is of Dex before I fall asleep.
Chapter Thirty
Dex has been gone for four months when Jim dies from lung cancer.
Everyone is devastated.
I sit by the hospital bed and watch as Cindy cries. The woman who didn’t even cry on that night when Mary died right before her, is bawling her eyes out. Something about seeing such a strong woman shatter makes it hard for me to try and stay strong.
I cry silently, holding Clover close to my chest.
The men stand around Cindy, helping her up and leading her out of the room. She wails, screaming Jim’s name. We all leave the hospital and go back to the clubhouse. The place is unusually quiet, and extremely depressing. The men drink.
And then drink some more.
Jim’s good friend Jack Kane and his son Xander come to help us with the funeral. Apparently Jack was once a member of the club, and I guess officially, still is one.
Since the new President of Wind Dragons is still behind bars, Trace takes over things until Dex gets back. The club gets three new prospects, two I like but the other—not so much. I guess time will tell how it all turns out with each of them.
I walk up to Trace and refill his drink. He gives me a chin lift in thanks. Allie is sitting on Tracker’s lap, whispering in his ear, so I don’t go and intrude. Instead I walk up to Rake, showing him the bottle of scotch. He lifts his glass up for me to pour.
“How are you holding up?” I ask him so only we can hear.
He gulps his drink, replying with a question of his own. “Where’s Clover?”
“She’s asleep,” I tell him, pointing to the baby monitor sticking out of my jean pocket.
He nods his head, then stands up. “I need a woman and some more alcohol.”
“I can provide the scotch, but unfortunately, I’m not a pimp.”
That earns me a small smile. He cups my face and kisses me on the forehead. “Why don’t you and Clover go home for a few days? This place isn’t going to be any fun to be around.”
I feel a little hurt, but I realize he’s right. “That’s probably a good idea.”
I stay at home for a week.
Each day they send someone to check on me. It’s not necessary but kind of nice too.
When I return, the place is a mess and there are women sleeping out in the open.
She nods. “It’s been like this since you left. Few members from other chapters are here too, so it’s not safe to just walk around here anymore.”
Tracker walks into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. He smiles when he sees me, “You’re back”
“Yeah but I’m not staying,” I reply, eying the place with distaste.
Tracker looks around and grimaces. “Place has kind of gone to hell.”
“You think?” I reply dryly. Clover stirs in my arms.
“Can I hold her?” Allie asks.
I nod my head and gently put her in Allie’s arms. “I’m gonna try and clean this place up a bit.”
I get a large garbage bag and start picking up all the rubbish. I’m throwing bottles into the recycling bin when a hear steps behind me. I quickly turn and come face to face with the man from the first party I saw. The one Dex spoke to and wanted to ‘share’ me. My pulse races as fear shoots through my system. There’s something not right about this man.
“How nice to see you again, and without your man,” he says, staring at my breasts.
I force a smile. “I’m just trying to tidy the place up.”
He takes a step closer and grips my wrist. “Dex isn’t here, so I guess I should take care of you for him. I’m sure he doesn’t want his old lady going without.”
“Dex will kill you if you touch me,” I grit out, trying to pull my wrist from his hold.
His grip tightens. “Dex isn’t here.”
He forces his mouth on mine, gripping my head with both his hands. I can feel him pressed against me, and he’s hard. Hell no, this is not happening to me. I reach for one of the bottles, lift it and hit him in the head. When he pulls back, his face contorting with rage, I whimper. He backhands me and I fall onto the floor.
I scream.
I scream for Tracker at the top of my lungs.
The man grabs me by the hair and yanks me up, just as Tracker runs out, still half-dressed.
“What the fuck!” he growls, running up and punching the man across his face. “Have you lost your fuckin’ mind Shame?”
Shame? That’s the bastard’s name? How fitting.
I rub my hand along my jaw, grimacing at the burning pain. Tracker punches him in the stomach, then knees him in the head.
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