by Summer Lee
“Do not mock me.”
Malluch laughed and they were quiet for some time.
The day wore on. They stopped briefly for lunch in the shade of an olive tree.
Later, as they rode between the massive walls of a shadowed valley, Malluch said simply, “You seek the guidance of your grandfather concerning me. Don’t you?”
Kenana said nothing.
“You wonder what I am. I heard you speaking to Sarah on that night.”
“But you were not in the room.”
He shrugged. “Perhaps, perhaps not.”
“It’s not nice to spy.”
They were quiet some more. The sound of Mae’s hoofs echoed all around them. Heat filled the narrow valley. Malluch glanced around them, looking quite bored.
“Let’s pick up the pace a little.”
“Pick up the pace?”
In a sudden motion, Malluch lifted her from her donkey’s back, and rose rapidly into the air. Kenana screamed and closed her eyes, burying her face into Malluch’s chest. Hot wind thundered through her hair.
Malluch, holding her tight, laughed and said, “It’s safe now, I have you.”
She risked looking down, and her heart almost stopped. She gasped and fought for breath. Below, the empty canyon grew smaller and smaller until it was just a narrow scar on the land. They rose rapidly. She held tight to her angel, fingers digging deeply into his flesh.
“This is much faster,” he said simply.
“It’s…it’s amazing.” Her voice was barely audible above the howl of wind.
There was movement next to her and Kenana turned. It was Mae. The creature’s huge, bovine-like eyes searched Kenana imploringly, as if to say: what is happening to me? Mae brayed loudly, and Malluch laughed.
“I think your donkey is having a good time flying with us.”
But Kenana did not think so. Poor Mae was now looking quite terrified.
They rose higher still, until the land was a patchwork pattern of oranges and tans. There was little greenery, and in the far distance she could see the Euphrates River rapidly approaching, although from this great height it appeared to be but a silver thread. The rush of flying was powerful and exhilarating. Kenana felt giddy.
“I could get used to this!” she said. “Where are you taking us?”
“To Port Kish, to catch a boat to Alalakh.”
“Why not fly all the way to Alalakh?”
“Your husband’s orders. He gave us our fare.” He raised a leather pouch, which jangled with gold coins. “The captain expects us, and would become suspicious if we did not arrive.”
Kenana continued to hold tight to Malluch. Her angel seemed to enjoy her touch, but she paid him little mind.
She was fascinated with the sights below. To the north was a small town, with many fingers of gray smoke rising from chimneys into the bright sky. She saw a long, winding caravan, perhaps a hundred camels long, wending its way along a lonely trail. Now that Kenana had a taste of flight and speed, in comparison, the caravan was moving impossibly slow.
Kenana felt a slight shift in direction. They were descending. Below them, the Euphrates was rapidly coming into view. She could see many vessels, both large and small, rising and falling on its mighty surface.
With the sun beginning to set, the two gently touched ground again, but Kenana wanted to continue flying; she didn’t ever want to come down.
Mae opened her eyes and seemed surprised to find herself standing in a back alley, in a stinking fishing town. She brayed twice, and Kenana reached over and patted her gently.
Malluch led the way to the river, and said, “Now comes the next phase of our journey. We travel by boat!”
She wailed when she suddenly realized that her donkey could not come with them.
Chapter Fifteen
They boarded a small fishing vessel going north to Port Hit. Malluch paid the stocky captain several gold pieces for their passage. They were led to the boat’s stern with three other passengers. Kenana and Malluch sat together on a wooden plank. Malluch put his warm hand over hers.
Shortly, the boat pushed off, rowed by a dozen or so burly men, most of them with their tunics off. Kenana discovered she was staring at shoulders wide enough for two men. Kenana had never seen so many physically intriguing men at one time, all working hard in unison, all heavily muscled and bronzed from the sun. She thought it best to avert her eyes from their glistening bodies.
They traveled steadily upstream, the oarsmen working very hard against the current. For courage and entertainment, the rowers sang a peppy river tune to a drumbeat, their united voices deep and rumbling.
She closed her eyes listening as the sun beat down on her head.
When the boat stopped at Port Hit in the late afternoon, Kenana and Malluch went ashore as the sun slipped lower.
In a quaint marketplace that was surprisingly clean, the two shared a loaf of warm barley bread. Afterward, Kenana purchased dried fruit for the remainder of the trip.
Just as the merchant handed her the fruit wrapped in fig leaves, Malluch suddenly threw his arm around her and drew her away from the crowds and around the corner of the small shop.
“Don’t look now, but two soldiers are staring at us. We must return to the boat. Quickly, now and no questions.”
“Who are they?”
“I’ll explain later. Take my hand.”
Malluch led her expertly through the back alleys of the marketplace, deftly avoiding the soldiers, until they rejoined the boat and crew. Once seated, the anchors were raised. To the mesmerizing beat of the drummers, the boat slipped out into the currents.
Scanning the shoreline, Kenana saw infantrymen, head and shoulders taller than others, wearing metal-studded leather vests, staring at the boats suspiciously. Malluch pulled her down out of sight.
“Stay low,” he said.
“Are those the soldiers you saw?” asked Kenana.
“Yes.”
“They’re after me, aren’t they?”
“I believe so. Their leader is a Nephilim, half angel and half man. They are powerful creatures appointed to protect Cain’s descendants from Seth’s.”
“Protect them from me?”
“In a way, yes. To them, you committed the ultimate sin by marrying a Cainite, and must be punished. You are a threat to the old ways. Therefore, they have sent their Nephilim to deal with you, to end what they hope is not a new trend.”
“But the marriage was meant to forge a common link between the two tribes, an attempt at unity and peace. My father arranged it. I am not responsible for the politics of it!”
Malluch grinned, but there was no warmth in his eyes. “Some people don’t want unity and peace, child. Some people like the old ways.”
“They prefer war and fear?”
“Yes. They prefer the familiar.” He paused and inconspicuously kissed her forehead. “We must keep moving. For now we are safe on the water.”
In his arms, she always felt safe. She rested her head on his shoulder and soon fell asleep.
Chapter Sixteen
The boat bounced along as the oarsmen chanted now about wild beasts in the wilderness and the men who hunted them. To the left were lush green fields, and on the right were rolling hills that seemed to roll forever. Wildflowers grew along the riverbank.
With the sun beating down on her and with the soldiers far behind, Kenana began to relax. Sitting with Malluch, she wondered again what this angel truly wanted from her. Why was he risking so much to be with her? Surely his physical presence in her life was against some sort of heavenly rule. Could he truly be in love with her, or did he want something else? Something more? If so, then what?
Malluch took her hand. “You are quiet, child. Are you seasick?”
“I feel fine,” she said, and then decided to plunge forward. “Malluch, why are you here? Why are you with me now?”
“I am protecting you from the Nephilim. I was asked to accompany you as a protector and guardian.”
“No. That is not what I meant. Why are you here in the physical world? Why did you leave the spirit world?”
He did not immediately answer. Instead, he gazed out over the water; oddly, his dark eyes reflected little of the setting sun. His nose was fine and strong. His silver hair flapped gently in the breeze. He looked at her, and inhaled deeply. “Perhaps some things are better left unknown.”
“Perhaps,” said Kenana. “Perhaps not. Tell me, do angels feel love?”
“Yes.”
She hesitated. “Do you love me?”
A look of anguish flashed briefly across his dark eyes. Kenana suddenly understood. He did love her. He truly loved her, and it was costing him so much. It was costing him eternity.
“Yes,” he said. “I love you. I have watched over you for your entire life, and I have grown to love the woman you have become.”
She pulled away.
“I am unworthy of your love,” she said.
“Perhaps. Perhaps not. Either way, that does not make the love go away. It is there for you, inside of me, and it burns strongly.”
His words rocked her. Breathing was difficult. He loved her so much. What had she done to deserve such love? She opened her mouth to speak but could find no words.
Instead, he gently reached over and closed her mouth.
*
Kenana was listening to the gentle sound of the waves splashing against the sides of the boat. The scent of briers and olives, wafting from the dense riverbank, brought a measure of comfort.
Kenana rocked with the motion of the boat. The pace-setter intensified the tempo of the drumbeat, pounding the drum until his skin glistened with sweat. The sailors chanted a new catchy tune and the oarsmen on the port side shortened their strokes, turning toward the shoreline, rowing into Port Mari where the anchor was eventually dropped.
Malluch stood, scanning the shoreline. The riverside village was small, with simple thatched huts. “Good news. It looks like you can stretch your legs again,” Malluch said, taking her hand in his. “I don’t see any sign of those soldiers who were looking for us.”
In the marketplace, they found a vendor selling hot tea, purchased some, and stopped at a nearby low stone fence to drink it.
“Bring my cups back,” the vendor said.
Malluch nodded at him.
Kenana leaned against the wall and carefully sipped her hot tea. When they were finished and returned the cups, they walked slowly through the marketplace.
She spied someone petting a donkey and said, “I miss Mae.”
He laughed. “The donkey?”
“Yes. She was my only friend growing up. Always trustworthy, and always faithful. She never hurt me, and never wanted anything in return. Except, perhaps, her meals.”
“Well, Mae is safely stabled. We will retrieve her upon the last leg of our journey home.” He paused. “Is something troubling you?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I don’t understand your motives, angel.”
“Perhaps you are not meant to understand them.”
“What do you want from me?”
“Just your love.”
“I do not know if I can love, Malluch. I have been so hurt by the men in my life that I fear they have stolen my ability to love from my heart.”
“I can help you find the love.”
“But where do we start?” she asked. “It’s been so long.”
They sat silently together. The marketplace was bustling now, filled with swaggering sailors, most of them already drunk, drinking from clay containers and flirting with the local village girls.
Malluch took her hand. “Perhaps telling me about your pain will free you from it and release its grip from your heart,” he said gently. “Perhaps then, you can love again.”
Kenana took a deep breath and just blurted it out. “As a child, I hated my mother, depended on my father, and could not deal with people and the spirit world at the same time.”
The angel listened intently and nodded for her to go on.
“When I was a young girl, I thought it would be more romantic to marry a being from the heavenly realm, as an escape from my pain.”
“Your thoughts created your problems,” he said simply. “Mortals do not realize that they live out their desires and dreams.”
“They were just innocent, childlike fantasies,” she said.
Malluch put his hand on hers. “Fantasies and dreams are powerful if you believe hard enough. After a time, you try to manifest them through your actions.”
“Thinking and wishing becomes action?”
“Of course.” He paused. “As a child, you summoned me, whether you knew it or not. I watched you grow into a beautiful young lady.”
A slow realization took hold of her and anger rose. “Where were you when I was being physically and sexually abused?”
He looked away. “I was there, watching. Weeping.”
“But you did nothing to help, even though you were falling in love with me?” she pressed. “Watching like a sick voyeur? I was helpless!”
He was silent for a long time. Kenana was shaking with rage.
“I could not help you,” he said. “There was only so much I could do. I could only make sure you were not mortally harmed.”
“Or perhaps you allowed Prince Jubal to have his way with me—a child—so that I would become so disgusted with my own kind that I would eventually look upon you, an angel, as my savior.”
Her words had a devastating impact. He swung his head around and pulled back his lips, revealing a row of unnaturally white teeth. A beautiful—and ferocious—animal. “You have a fanciful imagination. Tell me, Kenana, do you think I am evil?”
“I don’t think evil can feel love.”
“Ah, but evil can lie about love.”
She quaked. “I have seen it in your eyes, the way you speak to me and touch me. I do not think you are lying about your feelings toward me.”
“Then if I love you, do you not think it pained me to the very core of my existence to see you being hurt?”
“It that is true, then why didn’t you help me, Malluch? I needed help. I was only a child. I was not able to fight for myself. Why did you not fight for me?”
He reached out and touched her arm. “Sometimes we need to feel pain, in order to later know happiness. There must be contrasts, in order for humans to appreciate and differentiate good from evil.”
“So, even though you could have stopped the abuse, it was your decision to allow me to feel the pain?”
“No, but there are certain rules I must follow.”
“There are rules for angels?”
“Yes.”
She pondered that. They sat in silence as the sun continued to slip beyond the distant rocky foothills. With the passage of the day, the market place grew quiet. Vendors covered their wagons and packed supplies and merchandise onto the backs of donkeys.
The evening was cool. A small wind slipped along the streets, scuttling leaves and hay. A gathering of gnats had collected over Malluch’s head. He nonchalantly waved a hand and the flies departed instantly, as if blown by a gust of wind.
“I have expressed my love for you, and I have given up much to be here with you at this moment. I cannot expect you to return the love, and I understand you still have doubts about my true nature. For now, I shall do my best to earn your trust. Perhaps the love will come later.”
“I want to trust you, and I want to love you. These are not easy concepts for me.”
Malluch put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. “My love can heal you. Come, we should return to the ship.”
Chapter Seventeen
They continued north again. The shores turned bleak, as the verdant life receded, replaced by relentless desert. Sitting by Malluch’s side, she said, “Why didn’t you marry me before I went to Adah? You could have.”
He laughed. “I’m supposed to watch over girls like you, not marry them.”
“I’m not a girl.”
He let his gaze linger on her body. She watched his eyes travel up the length of her and settle on her bosom. “No, you are not.”
“Now I am a married woman, Malluch. You lost your chance. I am not yours to have. Perhaps it is best that we understand this now. You are merely my guide and guardian.”
“I have given up much to be with you here and now.”
“I will not allow you to bully me into love, nor allow you to make me feel guilty in any way. I did not ask for your love, or for your sacrifice.”
He didn’t say anything, not at first, and she suddenly became keenly aware of her surroundings. The boat rocked smoothly. She listened to the oars splash rhythmically. Her heart hammered in her chest. The smell of dank water, mud, and wildflowers filled the air.
“I have abandoned my place in the heavenlies to be with you now.” As he spoke, he pulled on the hem of his robe. His fingers were long and slender, the nails perfectly manicured. “I thought perhaps if I would express my love for you, to show you my love by revealing myself to you…” he faltered. It was the first time he had seemed unsure of himself. He almost seemed human. She felt sorry for him.
“Are you asking me to abandon my duties as a wife? Moreover, as the wife of a prince?”
He shrugged sadly, his shoulders massive and heavily laden with muscle.
“I will admit, Malluch, your offer is tempting and exciting. You are beautiful and powerful, enticing in every way. But I am a wife first. I have a sense of propriety. And I don’t wish to find myself being stoned as an adulteress.”
He frowned. “Let me ask you this: why did you want to travel with me? What did you hope to gain?”
“ I was falling in love with you, I admit. I was confused and hurting. I wanted to see where it could lead.”
“Then why have you rejected my love? What has changed from then to now?”
“Nothing has changed, Malluch. Don’t you see? I am still confused. Still hurting. I refuse to make any decision under these circumstances. I refuse to give up my marriage oath for the unknown.”
“Then perhaps it’s best that I take my leave.”
“No, Malluch. Please stay.” Her chin trembled.
