by Rhonda Lott
The cottage wasn’t visible from the main road and Elliot liked it that way. No one sneaking up on him without him noticing them first. If he heard an unusual noise, other than the normal forest sounds, he knew shit was about to pop off.
Yep, he still wore his paranoia like a comfortable pair of shoes. It’s what kept him breathing for years and by now it was as much a part of him as his eye color. He liked to think of it as a heightened awareness. An awareness that allowed him to instantly pick up on the shithead whispering to Gabby at the festival. Fucking Brady, was there and gone before he could reach them. The look of fear and confusion that had settled on Gabby’s face made him want to hunt Brady down and gut the fucker.
Gabby’s first visit should have been a happy occasion, but it was full of tension. She remained cautious and quiet. Elliot didn’t expect anything less. She was a smart and careful woman. Being threatened for unknown reasons, must cause his beautiful Gabs to fear him.
She hadn’t told him to get away from her yet, because she didn’t have the full picture. With the guns being pulled, harassment on the road and now this mysterious visit from Brady, Elliot just knew, Gabby was about to kick his ass to the curb. He deserved nothing less.
As the sun lowered behind the snow laden clouds, Elliot’s heart was equally overloaded. Gabby stepped inside and he tried to picture his space through her eyes. His tiny cottage didn’t allow him to be messy. Everything in its place or he wouldn’t be able to stand it. A few books on the built in shelves flanking his fireplace greeted them. One black sofa, curtain less solitary window up front, and a small clean, modern kitchen made up the living area. His bedroom/bathroom combo were behind the door separating kitchen and living room.
Now that he let himself look around, he frowned. His place wasn’t much different from Gabby’s small apartment. They were both very much alone, living in dwellings that were made for one.
“I know it’s not much. I don’t spend a lot of time here.” Elliot confessed.
Gabby gave him one of her killer smiles. “I like it. It feels like you.”
“What’s that, old and cramped?” he asked.
Gabby shook her head, “No, solid, unassuming, and purposely isolated.”
Elliot didn’t know just what to make of that, but her smile warmed him. He didn’t have family or friends come over and hang out, so he didn’t mind the cramped quarters.
Most of his adult life he’d lived in lavish homes or penthouse apartments. He never had a place that was truly his. His past life afforded him all the luxuries he could have ever wanted, but those places were just as soulless and empty as he was.
Living here, tucked off in the woods, in a simple home, working a simple job, grounded him. It gave him a sort of peace that his troubled soul needed.
While Gabby studied her surroundings, running a hand along the back of the sofa, checking out the only photo he had on display on the side table. A picture of him, his mom, and his best friend Jared.
The picture was his most precious possession and his most painful one. He couldn’t look at it without a burning slice of regret cutting him to the core and yet, he had to hold on to it. He had to cherish it because without that picture as a reminder, he wasn’t sure he could continue being somewhat human.
Elliot went to work building a fire. The tension still thick in the cottage. She didn’t ask any more questions about Trigger Man, but the switch from happy festival attendee to silent and tense woman said it all.
Her silence unnerved him and rightly so. She was deep in it now. Without even knowing it. Night Corp would use her any way they could to get to him, because they knew she was important to him. Even if he left town now, that wouldn’t guarantee her safety.
Her soft footfalls stilled at the window. Elliot absorbed the sight of her in profile. Curvy, sexy body that made his mouth water just looking at her. Her gleaming raven locks flowed across her shoulders like a soft veil begging him to run his fingers through it. Soulful, brown eyes gazed out at the deepening twilight.
Elliot felt a tightening in his chest. She was so damn beautiful. His Gabby, and now she was about to learn the truth. He had to let her know how fucked up, he actually was. She deserved better. She held his heart in her hands and he was willing to do any damn thing to keep her.
“Gabby, come. I need to tell you who I really am.” Elliot reached out his hand and with a narrowed gaze, Gabby stepped over to him, placing her hand in his.
**
Her palm slid into his big warm hand. Gabby felt not only the slight tug of his physical body, but of the man himself. His features were relaxed, nothing like the pale, strained countenance of earlier. This conversation was way overdue. She should have gotten his story the night before, but after they had made love, both of them were too exhausted to do more than pass out. They slept way too late and then rushed to make it to the festival in time to see the parade.
When she’d stepped into the inviting little cottage, she felt a curious sense of rightness. His home was neat and of course dark, but it held a quality that was welcoming. She could see herself here. There wasn’t a chance in hell she was gonna be staying even the night if Elliot told her he was some criminal hiding from the law.
That guy at the bar and at the festival didn’t look like any cop she’d ever seen before. If he was, then he wouldn’t have shot up her bar and then have the nerve to show his face back in town. He should be in some jail somewhere, not walking around whispering in her ear. Fucking up her festival and making her anxious about her budding relationship.
No, something deeper than cops and robbers was going on here. Elliot didn’t want to get close to her because of his past. She had a sneaking suspicion he might have been right to keep distance between them. Who the hell was she kidding? This connection between them was too strong, at some point they would have ended up together.
Gabby sat on the sofa, her nerves frayed. Her big beautiful El had better start talking soon or her head was gonna explode with all the frightening scenarios she was building in her mind.
Elliot lowered himself to sit on the floor. Gabby tilted her head at that.
“What’s wrong with the sofa?” she patted the seat next to her.
“I want to look at you face to face when I tell you my story. If I’m too close somehow I end up getting distracted by your soft skin, your delicious aroma. I’ll end up touching you, and kissing you and —”
“Ok. I got ya.” Gabby didn’t want to hear the rest, her body started tingling and images of them in her bed flashed through her mind. “The floor is a good idea.”
Elliot grinned. He must have guessed by her squirms that she wouldn’t last long if he touched her. She wanted more of the passion that ignited between them whenever they were close to each other. Now, however, she needed to hear what Elliot had to say before her body caught fire and her mind lost the ability to think. Something dangerous was at play here and Elliot was at the very center of it all. She wouldn’t allow her need for the man to blind her.
“Let me start by repeating. You don’t have to worry about getting hurt. I will keep you safe. That is if you want me around. Even if you don’t, that’s fine. I’ll never let anyone harm you. My word on that sweetheart.” He assured her, keeping eye contact. The truth of his words blazed from his dark eyes.
Gabby wanted to believe him, but she wasn’t buying it. She had a gun pulled on her and had been shot at twice in the last week. She wasn’t certain if his idea of not getting hurt was the same as hers.
Elliot’s hand moved to her calf and absently rubbed up and down while he let her absorb his statement. The damn warmth and tingles started up again.
Gabby pushed his hand away, eyes narrowing. “Cut that out. Talk.”
He put his hands behind him and leaned his big beautiful body back. The firelight cast his face and form in a golden glow. Holy heaven, he was stunning to behold, Gabby got lost in simply admiring the bulge of his muscles beneath his sweater and jeans. No checking out t
he package not while she was so unsure. If she let herself get caught up in the spectacular male then her decision making capabilities would be shit and she needed a clear head.
“My mom had me young. She worked hard and went to school all while raising a kid. She found a good job in San Diego and we moved there when I was around eight years old.” Elliot glanced over at the picture. A ghost of a smile crossed his lips. “That’s where I met my best friend Jared. He was a gangly nerd nobody wanted to play with and I was an angry mouthy brat nobody wanted to play with so we played with each other. We clicked and then there wasn’t room in our world for other kids. Jared and I were each other’s shadow, had each other’s back no matter what. We made it through high school, then joined the Marines together. He was deployed way across the country in Virginia and I was stationed in California, but the distance didn’t weaken our connection. Jared was closer to me than a brother. He was my brother.”
Gabby watched as his face took on a pained expression.
“Was your brother?” She asked quietly. She knew the answer, felt the answer thumping in her chest. The death of a loved one had a certain harsh feel to it. Once you’ve experienced it, your empathy for others is profound. The pain of it was universal.
Elliot continued to stare into the fire. “Yeah, he was deployed in Afghanistan and captured out on a routine mission to help trapped criticizes escape a village under attack. He was held for six months, brutalized and then beheaded for the world to see.” He exhaled and dropped his head.
Tears stung her eyes and her heart ached for Elliot. “My God! Elliot, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
He turned his dark gaze back to her, all Gabby saw was stark agony reflected there. “Sweetheart that was only the beginning. Horrible was what I became, the bringer of death they called me, code name Trigger Man.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
It never came. The look of revulsion he expected from her didn’t materialize. Gabby simply leaned back on the sofa, waiting. Elliot felt his stomach was going to revolt talking about this shit, especially with Gabby. He never wanted her to know how truly beneath her he was. How unworthy he was of her affection.
She deserved the truth. The truth, he almost laughed. Nothing about his past was the truth. Built on lies and vengeance, his past shadowed his present in everything he did. If Gabby could accept him, she had to be aware of the shitty deal she was getting.
He wanted to forget, and move on. Moving on meant rectifying his mistakes, cleansing his soul, and making life safe for the ones he cared about. It meant cutting open wounds barely healed and bleeding out the rancid details of himself to the one person in the world he wanted to adore him.
Truth be told. He wanted her to love him, because he sure as hell loved her. Had loved her from day one. The day their eyes met and she gave him a look of wholehearted acceptance. She wasn’t judgmental or wary. Nope, there was a wealth of kindness and acceptance in her eyes that pierced his dark soul.
“El.” Gabby leaned forward and touched his knee. “Tell me what happened.”
“After Jared was killed I lost it. I tried to get my command and the government to strike back at the radicals who killed him, but because of the fragile political climate they wouldn’t do anything. I did my time, but something dark filled my heart. Jared was my brother in all ways that mattered and when no one would step up and help me avenge him, I allowed that darkness in me to take over. I craved retribution for the man would have fought heaven and earth if it were me who’d been murdered in such a brutal way. A man who talked of protecting this country and how proud that made him feel. But, his country in the end didn’t give a shit about him.”
Elliot pushed himself up and stalked over to the fireplace. He had to move. The memories of helplessness and rage poured down on him. Jared was lost to him. The memories, good and bad, they never debated. Jared’s eyes as they killed him, so full of fear, stared back at him even now. The firelight danced before his eyes and he kept his focus on the flames, reluctant to face Gabby.
“I came home full of rage. It didn’t take long for Night Corp. to find me and recruit me. Donovan Pierce claimed that Night Corp was contracted by the government to neutralize targets that the government couldn’t put down publicly. It sounded legit, but to be honest, I didn’t care at that point. I could take out assholes like the ones that killed Jared. I was all for it. Why not? Politics be damned. So, I agreed and became the bringer of death.” Elliot bit out a bitter laugh. “And I was very good at it. There were none better. The pay was incredible. I was in my element, doing what no one else had the balls to do.” Elliot snorted and raked his fingers through his hair.
“You kill people El? You’re what, a spy for the government?” Gabby asked.
“Yeah Gabs. I killed people, many people up until the night I found out everything I knew was all a lie. All the killing and righteous rhetoric were a sham. Night Corp had no affiliation with any government. It supplied guns for hire. They didn’t care who was killed, only that the buyer had deep pockets.” Elliot turned to face her.
Gabby was slowly shaking her head, frowning “Shit El. You were fooled. You were young and in a hell of a lot of pain. And you—” Gabby started.
“Excuses Gabby. I went into that situation a full grown man. Who should have had enough good sense to check this corporation out before agreeing to do the things I did. I didn’t. I wanted, at least on some sub-conscious level, to exact revenge for Jared’s death and that turned into some dark purpose that overtook me. Trigger Man wasn’t just a code name for me it was who I became. The best fucking killer Night Corp ever employed, because I believed I was handing out justice.”
Gabby stood and for a second he thought she would walk out the door. She crossed the room and took his hand. “You were that man, but not anymore El. I’ve watched you help people who couldn’t pay for repairs or people who needed odd jobs and didn’t have anyone to help them. You don’t ask for anything not even a thank you. You helped me when I was hurt. I’ve never seen you angry or hot headed. I’m not saying that your past isn’t scary and way too fucked up for me to even picture in my mind, but I don’t see Trigger Man when I look at you.” Gabby pulled him to the sofa and this time he sat beside her, still clasping her hand. “What happened, what changed you?”
“I left because of a woman. A woman who opened my eyes to the world I was engrossed in.”
“A woman?” Gabby snorted, flopping back on the sofa. “I should have known.”
He felt himself smile at the intensity of displeasure in her voice. “No Gabby, I wasn’t involved with her. She was my target. I was sent to kill her.”
**
Hell of a woman, Gabby thought. If she pulled him out of that situation she must have been something. Elliot sat close, body rigid as a board. He seemed to be holding it together by a string. Hurt, pain and embarrassment filled the very air around her man. Talking about his past must be hard. How deeply he must have been hurting to have followed such a dangerous and deadly course.
Gabby remembered the dark place she’d been in when she’d lost her family. Her sister and papa died of cancer and heart disease not murder. What would she have done if that were the case? She had no idea, but ripping the killer’s heart out would be number one on her to-do-list. Gabby understood his motivation very well, better than he realized.
“Tell me the rest. Let’s get it all out in the open and then we can deal.” Gabby said.
Elliot nodded. “I was given a last minute assignment. A female assistant to a Chinese diplomat suspected of leaking military secrets. I proceeded with the elimination without my usual visual confirmation and entered her hotel room to do my job. She must have heard me and woke up. She was a young woman, early twenties, and she was pregnant.”
Gabby gasped. “You didn’t—”
“No, I didn’t.” He squeezed her hand, shaking his head. “Her name was Shelly and the diplomat was the father of her child. He wanted her to get rid of the baby because i
t would end his career and his marriage if news of his infidelity got out. She wanted to keep her child. He threatened her, but she was adamant. So, I was sent to remove his problem. I packed her up and got her out of the country. I confronted Pierce, the head of the company. He confirmed what the company actually was. I quit on the spot, but I didn’t leave empty handed.”
Gabby felt a swell of pride in her chest. “I’m so glad you met Shelly.” She brought his rough hand to her lips and kissed it. Elliot swiveled his head and looked at her with such shock and confusion, she couldn’t help but smile.
“What?”
“I thought you would’ve been out the door by now. You're still here and I’m simply amazed, is all.” Elliot reversed their hands and kissed her fingers, breathing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
“Well, this isn’t what I expected when you said a dark past.” Gabby grinned. “I’m still here because I care about you and want to make an informed decision before we move ahead in this relationship.”
Elliot canted his head and his brows slanted down. “Gabby, I want to be with you and I know this is a lot to take in. Believe me, I’ll understand if you decide that it’s too much for you.”
“Tell me what happened next.” Gabby wanted to hear it all.
“That’s fair. I disappeared for six months. In that time I compiled evidence of Night Corp’s activities. The big boss, Donovan Pierce sent men after me. He not only loss his best operative, but had to pay back a ton of money because I didn’t kill Shelly. No one could touch me though. I sent every one of his men back to him in a body bag. Then I compiled evidence, financial records, video of his agents and their kills. I linked names and dates and money back to Night Corp, until I had everything I needed to send Pierce to prison and bring down his company. I walked into Night Corp Headquarters and told Pierce if he ever tried to find me or my mom I would destroy him. If he sent another agent after me, I would end him and his business. After some blustering, he agreed. Mainly because he knew I didn’t have any problem doing exactly what I said I would. My mom and I moved around for a while before I bought the auto repair shop and moved to West Haven.”
