by Con Riley
“I’m definitely not allowed to say anything about packing a bag for you and stowing it on the backseat.”
That caught Rob’s attention. His head swung, peering over his shoulder to see a bag of his as well as Jude’s duffle. “We’re staying out tonight?” And there was the smile that had been missing, tension previously pressing Rob’s mouth into a thin line each time Guy Parsons hadn’t been looking at him. “For real?”
“I couldn’t possibly say,” Jude turned left at the coast road junction, switching gears as the road stretched out before them. “Rules are rules.”
“Huh.” Rob changed tack, prising at Jude’s one weakness as if it was a winkle he was determined to dig out of its shell. “But what about Louise?”
“Lou’s fine.” Jude rolled his shoulders and loosened his grip on the steering wheel. “Marc’s staying over.”
“Oh.” A glance showed Rob’s pleased smile. “Good.”
Jude supposed so, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
“So what if you and Marc didn’t get on at school?” Rob asked. “I bet none of us looks too good in hindsight. I’ve only ever seen him being decent.” Rob reached over, his palm a steady weight on Jude’s leg. “Marc would tell me where we’re going,” he wheedled.
“Well it’s a good thing he’s not here then. Although I can always turn around if you’d rather. Get him to take you away to a hotel instead of me?”
“We’re going to a hotel?” Hearing Rob’s surprise was fantastic, doing something to Jude that he couldn’t put a name to especially when Rob virtually squeaked, “For a whole night?” as they pulled up at a junction.
“The rulebook says that should be long enough to get you good and Stockholmed.”
Rob pulled at his seatbelt, giving himself enough slack to smack a kiss to Jude’s cheek. “Oh, you had me brainwashed back in London.” He mused aloud. “It’s the only explanation. Now tell me. Where are we—” he craned his neck to scan the nearby road sign. “Oh.”
Jude steered Betsy onto the A30 in the direction of St Ives. “You know, you’ve spent so much time in the office lately, I thought you were sneaking off to stream porn. I had no idea you were still doing market research.”
Rob snorted. “Stream porn with our Internet speed? Jesus, I’m all for delayed gratification, but that would really push it. Mind you, it would explain why you’re such a repressed weirdo.” His tone switched to wary. “Y-you didn’t look at my search history, did you?”
“No need.” Jude laughed as Rob let out a long breath. “I’m not interested in your viewing habits. You left a Google maps page open, that’s all,” along with that list of boutique hotels. One night’s stay still made a sizeable dent in the bank balance he had originally planned to add to, and then use to fly back to the Aphrodite at the end of the summer. It was Jude’s turn then to press his lips together. It didn’t matter if the Anchor didn’t make enough cash this summer to pay Rob back and buy a plane ticket. He’d ask Tom for an advance on his winter wages if he had to.
A wave of selfishness came out of nowhere. His grip on the steering wheel tightened again, an inner voice suggesting he should have flown back the moment he’d found Rob at the Anchor. Left him and Lou there to run it without him while he carried on the search for their parents. That selfish wave washed back out when Rob spoke.
“Hey.” He was quiet, not a hint of teasing present. “You want me to drive?”
“No.” Jude relaxed his grip finger by finger. “We’re nearly there.” He huffed out a breath and got honest. “Just… just feeling a bit selfish.”
“Why?” Rob turned in his seat. “For taking some time off?”
That was close enough. Jude nodded rather than verbalise the pool of guilt that still threatened to rise so much higher. Yet again, Rob pulled a plug that drained it. “Well everyone did warn me you were lazy.” He poked Jude right where he was ticklish. “I’ve never met such a slacker, but listen, tell me something?”
“What?”
“About where we’re going.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Is there a double bed where we’re headed?”
A super-king, to be specific. More than enough room for two tall men to stretch out on. “There might be.”
“And are you planning on getting naked on it with me?”
On it, in it, hell, he’d get under it, if that was what Rob wanted. “I could be persuaded.”
“Then I suppose I’ll just have to grin and bear it.”
Jude could only imagine Rob’s smile when he drove into St Ives; he had to concentrate while steering Betsy down roads even narrower than the ones at home, leading to a beach that shared the same white sand Porthperrin now missed. He chose not to dwell on that difference, instead of mentioning another as he slowed for a family carrying beach towels, all of them pink from the sun, and happy. “Lots of tourists here already.” Maybe he sounded wistful.
“We’ll have loads of visitors too. I promise.” Rob’s confidence was typical as was his reaction when Jude took a turn between buildings that Betsy cleared by scant inches. “Jesus! That was close!” He twisted in his seat again. “Hey, that sign said ‘no entry’.”
“Only if you’re not a guest here.” Below the spot where Jude parked, the cove was unobscured and perfect, the hotel an almost-hidden gem with a fantastic outlook.
Jude got out, rounding the car before Rob had stopped goggling. “We’re staying here?” His frown didn’t smooth out even when Jude reached across him to unfasten his seatbelt and kiss him.
“Yes.” He kissed him again. “I promised you some privacy,” he stepped back so Rob could get out of the car. “This place is designed for that, exactly.” He grabbed their bags from the backseat, slung the duffle over his shoulder and led the way to a side door. The keypad was discreet, hidden between tumbling wisteria blossoms that festooned the building. Jude keyed in a code that had been sent to his email once he’d made his booking, and pushed open the door to their suite.
“Wow.” Rob walked in first, stopping for a few moments before taking a few more steps and turning in a slow circle. Each wall of this living space was covered in paintings of the bay below, barely an inch between each one, so many shades of greenish-blue that Jude could hardly count them. “I… it’s…” Rob didn’t finish his sentence, the only sound his footsteps on glossy floorboards and his deep sigh. He’d reached a window framing the same view that all of the paintings captured.
“If I’d known it would be this easy to shut you up, I would have booked this place a whole lot sooner.”
“Funny guy,” Rob’s voice was strangely subdued. He kept his back to Jude. Below them, the sun sparkled on azure water. “It’s….” He shook his head and fell silent.
Him standing so still and so quiet had Jude’s heart skipping a few beats. Rob usually filled everywhere he went with commotion. This stillness, by comparison, was like standing behind a stranger. “Uh.” Jude blanked on how to react. “Don’t you….” He cast his gaze around. He’d been drawn to this suite the moment the hotel webpage loaded, this room focussed on the view so entirely, every surface littered with a tideline of shells and sea glass that brought the beach inside with them. “Don’t you like it?”
“Like it?” Rob came back to life as if Jude’s question had flicked some hidden switch to reanimate him. He turned, and his eyes glittered. “I love it.”
It was easy to kiss him then; the absolute opposite of hard work to move him closer to the window seat until Rob sat, his legs splayed, so Jude could kneel between them, and it was a pure pleasure to undo his fly and nuzzle the soft skin he bared. Somewhere, a clock chimed, but it didn’t make Jude hurry, time on their side for once and Jude wallowed in each moment, soaking up the sounds Rob made as Jude fished out his cock, breathing the scent of him deep into his lungs before he tasted.
“God.” Rob breathed out that word at the touch of Jude’s tongue, barely vocal, but Jude heard and agreed. Thank God for th
is chance, this space, this time to give and take what they both needed. Jude would get on his knees for this version of worship anytime Rob wanted.
Rob’s cock felt so right in his mouth, thick enough as it firmed to take real concentration, sliding as Jude started to bob, filling his mouth and stretching his lips, his eyes watering a little. Those tears only blurred the edge of his vision. He could still see the way Rob’s stomach pulled in as he got close, his thighs tensing also, and his face stunned and gloriously flushed. He pulled off and wrapped his hand around Rob’s cock, twisting on each upstroke as he caught his breath before diving once more, this time taking him deeper.
“Jude.” Rob warned him, clutching Jude’s hair. “You too, Jude. Please.” That also sounded prayer-like, Jude thought as he scrambled to unfasten his own clothes. Bliss sparked when Rob pulled his hair hard enough that Jude had to rise, his chin still wet as they kissed. That spark flared phosphorus bright when Rob got his hand on Jude’s cock, his grip as wicked as his kiss, and when he bent to suck Jude off, it was game over in what felt like moments.
Jude came, his orgasm sudden, the snap of an over-wound spring that streaked Rob’s chin and shoulders. Jude dropped back to his knees once more, out of breath and not caring in the slightest, so intent on getting Rob off too. This time, Rob didn’t stop him when Jude sucked. His hips rose off the window seat to meet his mouth, pushing deeper. The sun was behind him, his hair a spectacular dark corona as Jude blinked away more tears until Rob flooded his mouth, coming.
He rested then, still on his knees, panting, his head on Rob’s thigh, and with no urge to get up in any hurry. There was no need to move while he mentally floated, no task so urgent that it needed his attention, not a single reason to move while Rob traced the shell of his ear and hummed with satisfaction.
Maybe it was minutes later, or hours, Jude had no real perception beyond feeling bone-deep contentment. He got up when Rob urged him, but even then he didn’t cover much distance, only getting as far as the next room where Rob undressed him despite it still being daytime.
“Forty winks?” Rob asked, pulling a sheet over them both.
“If you insist.”
They lay together while the rest of the world got on with business, ships sailing across the bay outside the window, and Jude was okay with that.
He was, he realised. He was okay with checking out for a while instead of maintaining his watch for the first time in ages.
Maybe Rob felt that same permission. He sighed and stretched before wrapping himself around Jude in a way Jude planned to get used to. “You know what’s different about the decor here?” Rob asked sleepily.
“Can’t say I took too much notice,” Jude admitted. Besides noticing the paintings, from the moment they got here, Rob had absorbed all of his attention. Now he looked around a bedroom that was crammed with art and objects that blurred into a rainbow as he squinted. He was a single inch from sleep, at most, when Rob finally answered.
“It has all the colour that I stripped out of the Anchor.”
25
Rob was still starfished across the mattress as late afternoon approached evening. Jude rolled out of bed, drawn to the window where he stood, naked, and took in the view. He watched, hardly thinking, mind pleasantly quiet, for once, while his body still thrummed with pleasure.
“What are you looking at?” Rob asked from the bed.
“Nothing.”
“Yes, you are.” Rob got up to stand behind him, warm and a little tacky as he rested his chin on Jude’s shoulder. “Or you were, anyway. I was watching you. Well, your bottom, to be specific. You haven’t moved for ages. Been staring out at the same thing for minutes.” He slid a hand from Jude’s hip to his shoulder, his light touch raising goosebumps as he then tilted Jude’s head a few degrees to the left. “There.” He asked, “What were you looking at that was so compelling when you could have been looking at me?” He dropped a kiss on Jude’s shoulder, his questioning hum a teasing buzz that Jude felt everywhere they pressed together.
Had he ever felt so happy?
“Why would I waste time looking at you?” Jude murmured, voice gritty and throat a little sore in a way he wanted to get used to, could get used to now they had some time together. “Like I could forget your ugly mug just by looking out the window.” Closer to the truth was that he only had to close his eyes to see Rob’s many facets, had done so for months, Rob something to take his mind off each search that came up empty.
Rob bit his shoulder. “Liar.” Then he kissed the same spot. “I said your name three times, Jude. Thought you’d had a stroke. Imagine having to make that 999 call?” His tone turned warning, “And can you imagine me explaining to your sister about how I sucked your brains out?”
Jude turned in his arms. “How about you never mention Lou, my cock and blowjobs in the same sentence ever again. Think you can do that for me?” Up close, Rob smelled of sex, tasted faintly of salt, and felt absolutely perfect. “How about we go back to bed?”
“Not until you show me what you were looking at. If I’ve got to vie for your full attention it’s only fair that you show me the competition.”
As if anything could distract Jude now that he had exactly what he’d dreamed of for so long. His hold on Rob’s waist tightened. “I wasn’t looking at anything in particular. Just the horizon.”
“Is that all?” Rob peered over his shoulder, thoughtful. “You do that at home too.” His hands dropped to Jude’s arse and pinched it. “How about I be your horizon, sailor?” he joked. “Maybe then you’ll look at me more often.” He pulled back to arms’ length, his hair sticking up every which way, a dishevelled disaster.
Look at him more often? Hell, Jude already saw Rob each time he closed his eyes. Had done for longer than he’d ever tell him.
Rob’s gaze flickered away for a second as if nervous. “You can make a start by looking at me over dinner.” He backed away and grabbed a towel, holding it shield-like across his bare chest. “I’ve got something to talk to you about while we eat, but I want to shower first.”
Jude grabbed a towel too. “What do you want to talk about over dinner?” he asked, but Rob had already gone, the bathroom door closed behind him.
Later, Jude caught glimpses of the sea as they wended their way downhill, slivers of azure now a deeper shade of jade as the sun lowered. A tide of tourists trudged uphill as they descended, some parents carrying sleepy toddlers while others bumped strollers laden with beach toys across cobbles. A beach ball bounced free, rolling downhill until Rob ran and caught it, holding Jude’s hand as soon as he returned it. He laced their fingers like that was normal as he coaxed a smile from the beach ball’s crying owner. And it was normal, Jude decided as they said their goodbyes. Holding hands in front of kids wasn’t about attracting attention. It was how acceptance started.
Even though Jude only imagined his own father’s turned back, his fingers flexed regardless. Tamping down the urge to let go wasn’t easy. So what if Dad had made his feelings clear without ever saying a word? He’d been wrong about Marc based on no more than black nail polish and eyeliner—the man was artistic, not gay. And if he’d ever thought Rob’s brand of open affection was a sign of weakness, he’d have been wrong about that as well. There was more strength in Rob than Jude knew how to measure.
Rob chatted while they strolled, about what Jude barely registered, just knowing one thing for sure at that moment—Rob’s happiness was transparent, his assumption that he could show it a much-needed lesson that Jude wished he’d witnessed when he was young.
A tug of regret pulled hard—turning his back on Marc when they’d been kids had been a real waste. He might have had someone to confide in about feeling different. Instead of being lonely, Jude could have had a friend that whole time. More to the point, he could have been one.
He thought about reaching out and trying harder when they got back, and his spirits lifted. As for Lou and Marc maybe being an item…. For the first time in months, he wa
s glad he might not get to see his dad’s reaction to that as well.
Guilt pulled him straight down like an anchor.
What kind of person wished for shit like that?
Rob looked Jude’s way, his brow furrowed before he threw a verbal lifeline. “Are you even listening to me, fish face?”
“No. I mean yes.” Rob’s question moored him to the present. “Of course I am… what did you say?”
“God, you’re such an airhead. I have no idea what I see in you.” Rob slipped an arm around his waist, huffing. “Apart from your face, of course. And your body.” There was only one word for his next action; he snuggled into Jude’s side as they strolled down a street lined with shops selling vacation souvenirs and postcards. “Not gonna lie, I’m finding that cock of yours quite compelling as well, which reminds me….” He darted into a mini-supermarket, out of sight until he stood from where he’d bent down to select a couple of containers. His shout to Jude in the doorway was hardly private. “Do you prefer warming lube or normal?”
Every head in the store turned Rob’s way before pivoting to see who he spoke to.
“Jesus.”
“What did you say?” Rob shouted before answering his own question. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll get both.”
That was one way to jump the queue, Jude supposed after retreating, spying through the window as customers with full shopping baskets let Rob cut in line with his two items.
A Cheshire cat’s smile would have been smaller than the one Rob wore as he rejoined him. “There. That’s tonight’s entertainment sorted.”
“For them?” Thank God they didn’t live here.
“No, for us.” Rob winked and twirled the bag he carried. “In fact, I’m tempted to skip dinner to get the party started early, only I think you’ll need to keep your strength up. Let’s eat,” he said as if he hadn’t just embarrassed Jude half to death in public. Rob started whistling a sea shanty before they’d gone far, bursting into song about pirates. Heads turned again, all eyes drawn to Rob like iron filings to a magnet.
