“What made you come home a day early?”
“Missed my loving parents? Hey are the terrors coming home this weekend?” The last question was a bit too far. Asking in a hopeful voice if my sisters would be around would tip them off.
“What did you do?” Dad asked with a sigh putting a file folder into his bag. If I had a dime for every time he asked that question in high school…
“Nothing. I’m a grown man, Dad. If I get into trouble I’ll handle it.”
“I know you would. I just figured you did something big and needed a lawyer this time.” Ok, that was funny. “I’ve got to get moving. Conference call first thing.” He went over and gave my mom a kiss, lingering maybe a tad too long with their son in the room, then came back over to me. He leaned down and spoke quietly. “Stop into the office around lunch.”
I didn’t acknowledge his demand.
But I did show up after hanging out with my mom for the morning which really meant moving shit. Like she thought the only way to keep me around and talking was to keep me busy. Either way it worked.
“Hey, Stacy,” I said as I got to my dad’s secretary. She’d been with him forever. Probably pushed sixty but was nice as hell. “Dad wanted me to stop by.”
“Hey, Sam. How’s California?” she asked with an easy smile.
“Better than it has been.” And I had Miriam to thank for that. When she waved me toward his office, I tossed a quick “See ya later” over my shoulder.
Dad hung up the phone when I came in. His office had been updated since I was last in there. The dark wood had been lightened and the furniture updated.
Mom forced him to stay with the times, as she said.
“Come on over.” He waved me to the sitting area at the same time Stacy came through the door with a take-out order from the sandwich place down the street. I loved those sandwiches. Then she disappeared as she always did. We wouldn’t be interrupted again. She was fucking great at her job.
“Given any more thought to moving back?”
I shrugged.
“That’s interesting considering you were here a few months ago and gave the impression it was a done deal.”
Dropping back in my seat, I propped my legs on the chair beside me, set the small bag of chips on my lap and took an exaggerated bite of my sandwich. Pastrami on rye. Best sandwich I’ve ever had. And man did I chew. And chew. And chew. At least until Dad laughed. He knew me too well, knew all my moves for avoiding a conversation.
He fell back against the couch, taking an equally exaggerated bite of his sandwich and chewed. And chewed until I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’ll think about it. I want to move back but not sure now’s the time.”
He cocked a fucking eyebrow at me. I always hated that he was so good at reading between the lines. “Things at work too hectic?”
I shook my head to tell him it wasn’t which seemed to make him consider his next move.
Finally he got it right. “Is it a girl?”
“Please,” I scoffed. “You know me.”
“I do. Which is why I asked. There must be something unusual going on for you to change your mind about something that seemed like a given.”
Taking a long drink of my pop, my eyes locked on his and I prayed that would be enough of an answer. Outside of that one conversation with Cain, I hadn’t talked about my feelings for Miriam with anyone. Yeah, Adam, Kendra and Flannery knew she existed but I didn’t have a fucking heart to heart about her. Then I realized my parents didn’t even know she existed.
“What’s her name?”
Time to man up.
“Miriam.”
His mouth dropped open slightly in surprise. Surprised me, too, Dad.
“That’s unexpected.”
“Tell me about it.”
“No, you tell me about it.”
So I did, hoping he’d pass everything on to Mom because I didn’t want to have this conversation twice. I told him where we met, how things had been going but not about the failed attempt at sex because that was fucking embarrassing.
“What’s she like?”
“Beautiful. Funny. The first time we met she thought I insulted her so she flipped me off as she walked away.”
“I like her already,” he said with a big grin.
“Figured you would.”
“Will we be meeting this beautiful funny friend of yours?”
“Girlfriend, Dad.”
Shocked him again.
“And yeah. I’m sure at some point.”
“Ok, just remember, you always have a job here. I’ll have to fire Bruce but I’ll do that for you.”
I snorted.
Dad would never fire someone else to hire me.
Then I nodded my head, gave him a quick hug and left his office.
Chapter Fourteen
I didn’t head over to Cain and Flannery’s until Friday afternoon. I promised to hang out with my parents Thursday night because they knew I’d be MIA over the weekend. But Cain had taken off a few hours early since I was coming to town, and their little visit the week before had been chalked up to a family emergency so he could still have his vacation.
Adam and Kendra would be over after he got out of work and probably just spend the weekend with us. Cain’s apartment had the spare room, and I could sleep on the couch. No big deal.
When I stepped off the elevator at Cain’s, Kendra and Adam were just stepping into the apartment. What the fuck?
I didn’t knock because they were expecting me. And I knew as soon as I walked in that something was up.
The girls were being weird. Happy, big smiles, too big, but the sing-song quality in their voices was their fucking tell. Cain seemed to know what was going on but that asshole didn’t give me a heads up. Only Adam had a fucking poker face but I knew if Kendra knew what was going on then he did, too. I really wasn’t loving the odd man out vibe. Actually it almost made me turn and leave.
“I thought you two weren’t coming out until tonight,” I said to Adam.
“Wasn’t supposed to but the assholes in IT are so fucking picky that they can’t seem to work with us mere common folk around.” I laughed and felt more at ease. He liked to bag on the computer guys at work since I was technically one of them at my firm. Didn’t bother me. Most of them were OCD motherfuckers that couldn’t get laid if they paid someone. Most. Not all. And computer shit had just come so naturally to me that I went into the field. It wasn’t because I loved the hours of programming, it just didn’t take me hours to do that shit.
“What are they doing?”
“I don’t know…Server…blah, blah, blah…upgrade…computers down…blah, blah, blah.” I have to say, his smirked got me and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Anyway, they shut down the office for the rest of the day because they need every extra second they can get to be nerdy.”
“Hey. Do I look nerdy?” I asked swiping my hands in the air in front of my body.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Adam countered with a smile.
Asshole.
Adam and Cain moved to the kitchen while the girls stayed in the living room. He had an open floor plan so it’s not like they couldn’t still hear everything.
“What’s up with you two?” I asked the girls because they looked like they were dying to say something. They shared a look. I hated it when they shared a look. “You know what? Never mind.” I made a move to join the guys but Flannery popped up from the couch where she’d just sat down and came over until she was a little too close. This wasn’t going to be good.
“I talked to Miriam this morning.”
Fuck me twice prison style. I hadn’t talked to her since she left LA. We’d only exchanged texts but when she called me last night I was out to dinner with my parents and used it as an excuse not to answer her. It was a douche move, I knew that. So I stood there, my arms crossed over my chest and waited to see how much she knew.
“And this is news?” Out of the corner of m
y eye, Cain’s head snapped up. Shit. It was my tone. I needed to keep it under control. Didn’t want him to think I was being a dick to his wife, even if I was.
“Me talking to her isn’t news.” And this was the Flannery that no longer felt bad about what she was about to say. Before my attitude, she still would have said it but would have at least been less happy about it. “What we talked about might be news.” I raised my eyebrows in the universal sign that said “spill it”. “About the night before she left. Anything you want to share with us.”
“Not really.”
“Probably not your best moment huh?” She bit the corner of her mouth keeping a giggle at bay.
My girlfriend being friends with my friends was a bad idea. I’d known that and yet it still happened.
“It happens, Flannery. Every guy. It happens.”
She snorted and was joined by Kendra who still sat on the couch. It’s not like I couldn’t get it up and every guy has an awkward sex story. I hadn’t had one until then, so I was kind of due.
“Doesn’t happen to Cain.”
“Or Adam,” Kendra offered with a fist to the air.
Rolling my eyes, I walked away from the girls to the island where a bottle of beer waited for me.
“Sorry, bro. Can’t stop those two.” Cain slid the open bottle my way. I was just about to take a nice long drink when Adam added to the conversation.
“Jesus, what happened? Did she find out you’re hung like a tuna can?”
Cain just about spit his mouthful out all over us.
“A tuna can?” Flannery called over sounding so confused. The hazard of being the most innocent of the group.
“Really, really short.” Adam spread his index finger and thumb about an inch apart. “But really, really fat.” This time he used both hands to circle about the size of a can of tuna.
“Fuck you both,” I said walking away.
“Well, that escalated quickly,” Cain said with a chuckle.
“Can everyone please focus on something other than my sex life? I know you two are married—” I pointed to Cain and Flannery. “It’s probably pretty rare these days and Adam is with Kendra so…” I forced a full body shiver.
“Ouch.” Kendra laughed.
They were just harassing me, and I knew it.
I wasn’t mad at them I was pissed at myself. If the encounter wasn’t bad enough, I hadn’t even talked to her. So she talked to Flannery. Which wasn’t optimal. It made me a bad boyfriend. She should’ve been able to talk to me.
“All joking aside, Sam...” Flannery burst through the others. “You should talk to her.”
“Why, what’d she say?” A brick of fear settled in my stomach. Maybe she’s pissed or wants to break up. I didn’t know, but the idea scared the shit out of me.
“She’s my friend so I’m not betraying her confidence, but I will say that you need to get your shit together and talk to her unless you’re done. If you’re done then you’re doing great.”
Fuck no, I wasn’t done with Miriam.
It took all of fifteen seconds for me to get out of the apartment to the balcony, shutting the door behind me. Those assholes would’ve tried to listen in otherwise. I hadn’t been nervous to call a girl in a long time let alone Miriam. Another time to man up. I pulled out my phone and selected her contact. October in Michigan could go either way but tonight was just chilly, nothing too bad. The long sleeve shirt I had on was enough. Not that I cared. I’d sit out there bare ass naked to talk to her if I had to.
While the phone rang, I leaned forward so my elbows rested on my knees, my free hand running through my hair. Fuck this sucked.
“Hi, Sam,” she said quietly. Where ever she was there wasn’t even the tiniest background noise. I had to assume she was alone in the room.
“Hey. Where are you?” I asked.
“My bedroom.”
“You’re back? You didn’t text me.”
“Wasn’t sure you wanted me to.”
I did that. I made her feel that. I really was an asshole.
I sighed. “I always want you to.”
“Ok.”
I wished right then that she was in front of me where I could see her, and touch her.
“How have you been?”
“Not great.” Time to get it all out there. If she’d been feeling half of what I had then I was the prick for letting it go on.
“Why? What happened?” she asked with actual concern.
“What happened?” I chuckled quietly. “Were you in my bedroom Tuesday night?” I had to be the one to bring it up. I couldn’t put it on her.
“I was there. But I’m not sure you were.”
“What do you mean?”
God this sucked. My stomach turned again.
It was a reminder of why I never wanted this. Didn’t want to have to talk about emotions, didn’t want to care about what someone else was thinking or feeling. But I wanted Miriam. So I was in it no matter what.
“You didn’t seem like yourself,” she spoke first. “I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the first time a girl was in your bed but yet it seemed like maybe it was. I figured it was me. If it’s me just tell me.”
“Ok, part of all that is a conversation for another time.” I sighed again. This odd feeling in my chest made it hard to get the truth out there. “It wasn’t you. I want you so badly. I was there, Miriam. I was so fucking there that I fucked everything up.”
“What are you talking about?” Something squeaked behind her and I imagined she was getting comfortable on her bed.
What I wouldn’t give to be there with her. Upside, she couldn’t see my face or what I was going through on the inside. She’d gotten really good at reading me. She couldn’t do that over the phone.
“Ok.” I blew air through my lips slowly. “This is going to make me sound like a pussy but I got nervous. I wanted everything to be so damn perfect for you. Which apparently I have no idea how to do.”
“Sam.” She sighed but it sounded like she was smiling, too. “You put too much pressure on yourself. You didn’t have to do that.”
“But—”
“No, you listen here,” she said with a voice I think was supposed to sound forceful but just made me want to kiss the hell out of her. “I can’t believe you did that to yourself. It would have been perfect because it was you. Nothing else was needed. Just you.” I didn’t know what to say to that. “Why’d you do it?”
“I haven’t cared about someone in a really long time and it’s important to me that everything be the best it can be for you.”
She was so quiet I started to think the call dropped.
“OK, I’m going to say something here, and I don’t want you to say anything in return. I don’t want you to just hang up but nothing in response directly, got it?” She took a deep breath but didn’t wait for me to respond. “I’m falling in love with you, Sam. And I have a feeling that those words are going to freak you out. I don’t want them to. It’s just how I feel. You don’t need to say it or feel it. But I am saying it, and I do feel it.”
My heart threatened to pound a hole in my chest. Miriam loved me or was starting to. Holy fuck that made me happier than I ever thought those words could. But she was also right. I couldn’t say them back to her. Not because I didn’t love her to some degree or think that I could love her to all the degrees. No. If I said it she would think I only did it because she did. That wasn’t happening.
“Ok, so that’s out there. I would rather have not told you over the phone but I don’t want you spending the next two days worrying about this or me or us. You don’t need to put pressure on yourself, you just need to show up.”
“I think I need to do more than that.” I chuckled.
“True.” The smile came back to her voice. “But we’re fine, and you’d know that if you’d answered your phone last night. No more ignoring me or pushing me away while you figure shit out. We figure shit out together, got it?”
“Got it,” I said with
a smile she couldn’t see. “I have to say, if the other night didn’t chase you away pretty much nothing will. I swear I’m better than that.”
Her giggle filled my ear and warmed my body. “I’m sure you are. As for not chasing me away, it helps that you’re “you-don’t-even-have-to-remember-my-name beautiful”.”
“What?” I laughed.
“It means you’re so beautiful that you could fuck me and not remember my name. I’d be ok with that.”
“Miriam.” My voice dropped lower. “I’d always remember your name.” I listened as she audibly swallowed.
Mission accomplished right there.
“Good. Now go have some fun with your friends. Oh, hey, are you mad that I talked to Flannery about this? I only did it because I couldn’t get a hold of you and was kind of freaking out a little.”
“Not mad. If I’d talked to you sooner you wouldn’t have felt the need.”
“Good-night, Sam.”
“Night, baby.”
It was in no way time for bed but I guessed she figured she wouldn’t talk to me again that night. She’d be wrong on that and I’d make sure of it.
I sat out there another ten minutes before going back inside the apartment. It’s not like I had to turn around to know they were all just waiting for me to come in so they could pounce. Cain had said they’d ordered dinner before I went to call Miriam and it’d been delivered while I was out there, so there was obviously something better for them to do. Or there should have been anyway.
Surprisingly, when I finally went back inside, I didn’t find the vultures I expected. Instead, Cain sat on one end of the couch eating out of a Chinese takeout container while Adam did the same over on the chair. No girls.
“Where’d they go?” I asked sliding the balcony door shut behind me.
“Kendra took dinner into the spare room. She’s got some studying to do so she can be free the rest of the weekend.” Adam didn’t even look up as he said it.
“Flannery wanted to get back to the book she’s reading.”
Rolling my eyes, I dropped onto the other end of the couch, grabbed a container that I didn’t bother checking first and dug in. I expected some sort of “talk” but I’d underestimated Cain and Adam. We sat there watching whatever was on TV and no one brought Miriam up or my apparent short comings.
Up for Everything (Up for Grabs #3) Page 12
