Oh God, was she crying?
I pulled back and searched her face only to find that she was giggling, and when she met my eyes, burst into full-blown laughter.
It was the kind of belly-shaking laughter that was more contagious than the flu. I didn’t want to laugh. My whole body was taut with painfully controlled desire after giving this woman, what sounded like, a pretty mind-blowing orgasm. And here she was, laughing.
Her hands cupped over her mouth, and I tried not to focus on how her tits pushed together… tried not to wonder what it would feel like to shove my dick between them and come all over that neck of hers.
“I’m sorry,” she got out between laughs. “I don’t mean to… I mean, it’s not you… it’s just—” She broke off again in a fit for another few seconds before hiccups intermingled with gasps for air, and I finally got my explanation for why she was laughing while my cock felt like it was about to punch a hole through my shorts.
“It’s just the puppy… Kona… howling with me… when I—” She choked off, and I knew before it happened that she was going to reach up and adjust her glasses just like she did every time she got nervous.
Like the furry troublemaker he was, Kona trotted back over, Eve’s clothes back in his mouth. My eyes narrowed on him, wondering if there was more genius buried beneath his goofiness for him to take her clothes the moment I came over the rocks and bring them back the second I managed to pry myself from the sweet heaven between her thighs.
I pushed myself away from her and her tempting, albeit it laughing, form and sat on one of the other rocks. “You okay?” I asked with a hoarse voice.
I wished I could offer to help her as she sheepishly began to redress, but if I got close to her again, there was no telling what I’d do.
“Okay?” she gaped. “That was… I’ve never… I mean, not even when I touch myself does it feel that good.”
“Christ,” I wheezed.
Her honesty wasn’t disarming, it was debilitating. Images flooded my mind of her naked, her fingers buried in her slick pussy as she pleasured herself and moaned my name.
“Are you okay?” Her head tipped to the side, and she pushed her glasses up again.
“Fuckin’ peachy.”
Her focus shifted to Kona who was circling her legs, waiting for his turn for attention.
“Hey there, boy. Thanks for my clothes back,” she murmured lightly. “Better late than never, I guess…”
For one second, I let myself indulge the wish that she was mine.
But there was a little-known secret about wishes. The worst kind of wish wasn’t the one where you wished for something so out of reach, like the mansion in Malibu or the half-a-million-dollar car. No, the worst kind of wish was the one where you wished for something that was standing right in front of you, within reach, knowing it will never be yours.
In another life, Eve would have been mine… another life that hadn’t been attached to a woman who’d blinded me from being able to see another future with anyone.
“Well, at least you weren’t laughing at…” I trailed off and arched an eyebrow.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Oh, no. No, definitely not.”
Kona began to jump on her legs, wanting more of her touch. I didn’t blame him.
“Kona,” I hissed. “Get back over there.”
I nodded my head over the rocks and, for a puppy I’d only had for a week, he listened pretty well when he wanted to.
When his wagging tail disappeared, Eve spoke with a soft voice, “So, that’s it then?” Before I could answer, she answered herself in that adorable way she liked to torture me with. “I mean, of course that’s it. You said it was. Sorry. I’ve never experienced that before… which means I’ve never experienced this… the after…”
“It’s fine, Evie. You’re fine,” I assured her softly. “I’m going to walk you back over to the main beach. It’s too dark for you to walk alone.”
“You don’t—” My glare cut right through her denial and implied that this wasn’t a discussion.
With everything that had happened in the past six months to our friends, I’d accepted that Carmel Cove wasn’t the safe place Mick and me had moved to any longer.
She grabbed the rest of her things and we walked a little ways in silence. I hoped the lack of lighting hid my awkward gait since my hard-on wasn’t going away without a fight… or a fuck… but that wasn’t happening tonight.
“Can I at least know?”
I glanced at her. “Know what?”
“Why you don’t want more? Why forever is no longer in your cards?”
My jaw clenched. I shouldn’t.
I knew I fucking shouldn’t just like I knew I shouldn’t run out into the middle of traffic or stick my hand into a fire.
I knew I shouldn’t just like I knew I shouldn’t have touched her.
But still, I did it anyway.
“Because there’s a permanence in forever, Eve. A foundation.” I hardly even recognized the strained timbre of my voice. “And I laid that foundation for a long, long time with someone who betrayed me in so many ways that now, there’s nothing left—nothing but rubble. You can’t build a foundation with rubble and broken pieces.”
She didn’t respond, her feet shuffling softly against the coarse sand underneath us. I wished I were a different man. I wished I had a different past. But that was the paradox, right? If I were a different man, I wouldn’t be here with her.
“I’m sorry, Miles.” She paused as we reached the steps off the beach. “I wish… I wish I was someone different who wanted different things.”
I knew I shouldn’t touch her ever again, but ever could start in the morning. Reaching up, I cupped her cheek.
“Me too, Evie. Me too.”
Eve
I thought things would get easier after that night.
Aside from picking up a small cold from my night swim in the ocean, I’d also walked off the beach feeling like we’d reached some sort of tragic truce. Since neither of us was willing to bend, we’d retreated to the place we’d been at before our very first kiss—the place where we adeptly ignored the elephant of desire between us.
In essence, it changed nothing except for the fact that we agreed to believe it changed everything.
So, I saw him at Roasters every morning for the past week and sometimes in the afternoon. Our conversations were polite and so uneventful that even Laurel sent me a few curious stares. But other than here, I hadn’t run into him in the cove again. He’d been there though. Somewhere. I could hear Kona’s yapping as it blew around the water’s edge with the breeze. There, but out of sight—out of reach… But maybe tonight would be different.
Tingles crawled down my spine, just like they did every time he approached. It was Friday and Miles had stopped in a few minutes ago for an afternoon coffee. “How’s the apartment hunt going?”
I looked over my shoulder from where I was making a latte for Isla, the owner of the local flower shop, Fleurtations. The way the sun filtered in through the front window of Roasters picked up on all the blond highlights that streamed through Miles’ hair. He must be spending a lot of time outside or working a job outdoors because it seemed like I could catalog every strand that had lightened in the past two weeks.
His work-dusted hands cupped the iced Americano I’d made him a few minutes ago and he propped his hip against the counter, his Madison Construction tee pulling over his chest.
“Slowly but surely.” I hoped my half-smile made the words convincing as I forced my eyes back to the espresso machine.
I felt the heat settling between my thighs and I tried to focus on the steamer heating the milk for Isla’s drink.
“Mick said your sister wants us there in two weeks,” he said softly, and I cringed.
Too slowly was really the answer, but I guessed I couldn’t hide how close I was cutting it when it was literally the man’s job to know when I needed to move out by.
I nodded like I was completely
unfazed.
I’d spent the better part of my free time scrolling through listings on the internet and asking around town. It was just my luck that out of everyone I knew like family in this place, no one knew of anyone with an apartment to rent aside from the big complexes that I was unable—unwilling to afford.
That was the thing about discipline, if you know what you really want there’s nothing so tempting that can sway you from what needs to be done.
I wanted my own yoga studio, and no ocean view or stainless-steel appliances would lead me from it.
And I wanted a serious relationship, and no sun-drenched Aquaman with his drugging kisses and earth-shattering touches would tempt me away.
“I’m waiting to hear back from a few places that hopefully I can go check out this weekend or next week,” I assured both of us, stepping out from behind the counter to go deliver Isla’s coffee to where she sat, engrossed with the local paper at the corner.
“You’re welcome,” I murmured in reply to her thanks and turned back around, running right into Miles as he headed for the door.
“Oomph!” My hands shot up to his chest, like magnets to their matching pole. I swallowed a groan, knowing that my body should not be so comfortable, so readily and easily fit to his. “Sorry,” I squeaked, practically jumping back.
Great. Now he was probably wondering if I’d turned into a klutz in order to get close to him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a low voice, peeling his hand from my shoulders.
His gaze flicked out the window on the front door, and mine followed to where Kona stood on the sidewalk, eagerly greeting anyone who walked by.
“Can I say hi?” I blurted out.
Sometimes, Miles brought him inside Roasters, but it looked like Kona had gotten into some mud somewhere so today, he’d left him waiting outside.
As soon as Miles grunted his assent, I was out the door, desperate for some furry kisses and the comfort that puppy love so easily brought.
“Hey, boy. Hey, there.” I giggled as my face was assaulted by his wild tongue, his butt swinging side to side right along with his wagging tail. “Are you a crazy pup?”
I heard Miles snort. “Oh, he’s crazy alright. You see all that mud he’s covered in? Let’s just say all my climbing gear is similarly covered because someone likes to bury things.” His annoyance did nothing to hide how much he’d clearly fallen in love with the dog.
My stomach cinched.
Was I really jealous of a dog right now?
“Alright, I should get back,” I said, scratching behind Kona’s ears one more time as he tried to lick all over my face.
“Kona,” Miles growled from above us, trying to scold his dog. “You’re goin’ to lick her to death.”
There was always an awkward moment. Sometimes, it was when I first saw him. Sometimes, it was in the middle of a conversation. Or sometimes, like now, I’d think I escaped it completely for once, only for my mouth to betray me right at the very last second and remind me that I would never feel normal around Miles.
“I’ll be okay,” I replied with a laugh. “I survived you, didn’t I?”
If I couldn’t stop the words, I definitely couldn’t stop my loud gasp or the way my hand clapped over my mouth as I shot to my feet.
Had I really just said that? Out loud?
Oh my God.
Heat blazed in my cheeks, and I wished that I’d splurged for once in my life for the Transitions lenses so that when my shocked gaze met his, he wouldn’t have been able to see just how mortified I was. Of all the embarrassing things I’d ever said or done in the presence of this man, I somehow still managed to top the last. It was like a hidden, hideous talent.
“I can’t—I’m sorry.” I put my hands up in defeat. “I didn’t mean—You know what, I’m just going to go and pretend like that didn’t happen.”
Spinning on my heel, I practically sprinted the four feet to the door to Roasters, the bell inside dinging as though to say, ‘You’re done.’
My shoulders slumped in slight relief as I keyed in the code to the Blooms house—my house, if only for another two weeks. The last two hours of work had gone by with the miserable slowness that only comes when you’ve done something that you can’t believe you did and have nothing but time to dwell on it.
How could I have said that to him?
I groaned for the millionth time and yelled, “Hey, ladies! I’m here! Leaving in five!”
I still had to talk to my sister before we made our weekly trek out to the cove, but I didn’t want them to worry.
The thing that stuck with me the most though wasn’t what I’d said or the embarrassment I felt, although that was pretty substantial. What latched on to my mind and wouldn’t let go was the look on his face before I’d retreated back inside the safety of Roasters.
Of course, there’d been the element of surprise, but it paled in comparison to the lust I saw in his eyes—the same fire that burned through the dusky night sky as he looked up at me from between my legs.
I paused in the hall and leaned up against the wall, my heart clamoring toward the memory once again. My head tipped back, and I pulled my glasses off for just a second.
People with perfect vision would never know the beauty in being able to physically make the world around you disappear into a blur of colors and shapes, leaving your other senses heightened and your mind free to focus. They’d never know how easy it was to force yourself to live inside your head for just a few moments.
Instead of the hallway in the house that led back through the kitchen to my sister’s small office, I saw Miles from this afternoon. I saw the desire in his gaze as the clock wound back to the night on the beach. I remembered the way he’d asked me to trust him even when we both knew he was begging.
That night, I’d felt so many things I’d never experienced before—the feel of his mouth and tongue on my sex, the way he worshiped between my thighs like he wasn’t the one who’d relegated whatever we had to a single evening.
And I’d experienced the feeling of being connected to someone. Not just physically, but emotionally.
But instead of letting that bloom, Miles insisted it had to be stifled. And though I asked why he was resigned to this, it took everything in my pleasure-drunk vocal cords not to blurt out and ask for specifics.
What happened to you?
Who did this to you?
What hurt so badly that sentencing yourself to solitude was worth it?
The rising voices sprung my eyes back open and I worked the frames back onto my nose so everything was crystal clear again. No more blurred boundaries. No more fuzzy futures. No more distorted desire.
Continuing my trek through the kitchen, I slowed almost to a halt when I heard arguing—definitely arguing this time, but not between my siblings.
“It’s not a good idea, Addison, and there’s no other way around it,” a low voice growled. “You do what you want, but in my opinion, you’re bringing more danger to yourself than you are helping these girls.”
“But this interview could be huge for the number of donations we receive, Ace,” my sister pressed. “I’m dipping into my savings for these renovations to bring more girls in here. It’s only a local news channel. I doubt it will make it to San Francisco. I doubt it will make it to him.”
Ace Covington. I thought the voice sounded familiar.
I took a few steps closer as their voices fell even further. I wanted to know what was going on with my sister and wondered who the heck they were talking about.
“Addy, do I need to remind you what you told me when Zeke brought you to Covington that day? The people that fucker works for… the people he works with. If he realizes your loose end was never tied up…” I heard a string of curses float through the hall. “I think you’re risking a whole helluva lot… too much. I think you’re risking too much.”
“And what about what my girls have risked to come here? What about how they are risking everything to start a
new life for themselves?”
I could just imagine how she was shaking her head, bright blue waves of hair swimming around her determined shoulders. I’d never seen my sister be weak. I’d never seen her back down from who she was or what she wanted… maybe that was where I got it from. I certainly couldn’t think of anyone I admired more.
“I won’t cower. Never again. And I won’t put my concerns before them, Ace. I’m sorry, but I won’t.”
“Yeah, well, in my opinion, there’s a difference between being strong and being stupid, and I think you’re tiptoeing that very fine line. Just think about what happens if you’re not here because of it?” My hand flew over my mouth to stifle my gasp. Was my sister really in that much danger? “If this comes back… if he comes back for you… then who’ll be here to take care of the girls?” There was a beat of silence. “Just think about it. Think about letting Zeke handle it.”
I barely had time to process when Ace stalked out of her office and almost plowed me over where I stood in the hall.
“Woah, Eve.” Large hands caught my shoulders as he halted with a thud. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry about that.” His eyes narrowed on me for a second, a silent interrogation to see if I’d been listening in on their conversation.
“It’s okay.” I gave him a weak smile.
His face tightened in frustration as he glanced back over his shoulder at my stubborn sister. “Talk some sense into her. Please.” And then he was gone, his footsteps thundering on the old wooden floor all the way to the front door.
Only when I heard it shut again did I cautiously enter the office, seeing Addy behind her desk with her arms crossed over her chest. Even though her eyes were looking straight at me, it took several long seconds before she actually saw me.
“Evie,” she said, startled. “I didn’t hear you come in.” Her concern was wiped from her face, replaced by a smile that was happy to see me.
For the first time, I caught a flicker of what Ace and my brother were fighting against, a woman who was determined to do good for others even at the expense of herself.
Besotted: An Enemies-to-Lovers Small-town Romance (Carmel Cove Book 3) Page 11
