‘A small wound. He’s survived worse. Greywall was convinced that he was dying, of course. But circumstances proved him wrong.’
It was a relief. ‘And you and Gerald.’
‘Wet and tired. Nothing more.’
There was more to it than that, she was sure. It was all too perfectly convenient. Perhaps it would be best not to ask. But she could not help herself. ‘When did you realise it was him?’
‘When you told me, yesterday. There could be only one man you were speaking of.’ He sat down beside her and took her hand. ‘I did not know. If I had, there would have been a day like this one before Stewart was born.’
‘It is better this way,’ she said.
‘But now that I have learned the truth? I hope the years of silence that have been between us is punishment enough.’
Even with the earl gone, there was still so much to forgive. ‘Your little schemes were never easy for me,’ she admitted. ‘This problem with earl was simply the worst consequence of them.’
‘I know, my dear.’ He patted her hand.
‘Are they finally over?’
‘For you, at least,’ he assured her. ‘Ronald and I will be gone after supper. There are some markers that need to be cashed in before the rest of Greywall’s creditors arrive.’
‘And then, where will you go?’
He shrugged. ‘I cannot tell. But we will not be returning here. We will send for our things when we are settled and tell you our direction.’
‘You’re leaving me?’ For years, she had wished to be free of him and Ronald, and the life that they’d created for her. Now that it was here, she was not ready.
‘I am sure, if you need me, I will not be difficult to find.’ Then he smiled. ‘But it may be easier for you if you do not look too hard.’
‘You do not mean to change,’ she said, sadly.
‘Not in all things,’ he said. ‘I still believe that most people get what they deserve in life. But you did not deserve what happened to you and I am sorry for it. Now that your husband has come home to you, I will have no more worries about your happiness or safety. At least not as long as your brother and I keep our business clear of you.’
She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, still not sure how she felt. ‘I think I will miss you,’ she said.
‘For that, I am glad.’ He returned her kiss. ‘And now, my dear, let us tend to the removal of the last thorn in your side. The earl is going home and will not return.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
It had not even been a week since her husband’s return, but it felt as if an eternity of time had passed. She had not thought that a day would ever come where coming to her husband’s room at night would be as natural as going to her own bed.
It would take some time to get used to the fact that her father and brother were gone. And possibly even more to assure herself that the earl would not reappear and refuse to leave without his trophy. But as long as she could have Gerry here, her love for him would ease the sting of partings and fears of the past.
‘At last, we have the house to ourselves.’ Gerry was grinning at her again, grey eyes sparkling and displaying those slightly uneven teeth that made him look like a mischievous little boy. But the way he patted the mattress at his side had nothing to do with innocence.
She thought of the reason that the house was empty and shivered. ‘I am not sure it is entirely appropriate to feel happy after what has happened.’
‘You are not actually mourning Greywall, after what he did to you.’
‘How do you know...?’ After she had taken such care that he not learn the truth.
‘Your father explained the situation, while Greywall was having his accident. The man might be slow to realise some things, but once he is aware of the problem, he is quick to solve it.’
‘While he was having an accident?’ she repeated.
‘He did not want my heroic instincts to overcome common sense and lead me to rescue Greywall before justice had been done.’
‘Then it was not an accident,’ she said.
‘It was more of an accident than many things that have happened to people who cross the Norths,’ he said. ‘I doubt even your silver-tongued father can persuade a stag to attack on cue. The man also fell into the bog of his own accord. If I was slow to help?’ He shrugged. ‘It was because your father pulled a pistol on me and explained the need for circumspection.’
‘He drowned the earl,’ she said.
‘Certainly not. He gave Greywall an opportunity. It is not his fault that the man was foolish enough to act on it.’
‘You sound very like a North,’ she said, unsure whether she liked the sensation of déjà vu the comment engendered.
‘That was why we decided it was for the best that your father and brother leave as soon as possible. I will allow one such accident on my property since the man was deserving. But I do not mean for it to become a habit.’
‘You wanted peace,’ she said.
‘And now I have it.’
‘And no more death.’
He shrugged. ‘Some things cannot be helped. It was quite possible that he was gone before I could have reached him. The man was drunk after breakfast and made no effort to see to his own safety. And Rex did not grow to be as old as he is without having tricks of his own. They may look gentle, but deer can be dangerous when wounded.’
‘And I did want the stag to survive,’ she said. She much preferred Rex to the earl.
‘Despite it all, your father is not the scoundrel that your brother is,’ Gerry said, and then added, ‘I am sorry that I had to shoot him.’
‘No, you’re not,’ Lily corrected.
He laughed in the firelight. ‘You’re right. I’m not. But I am glad that I did not have to shoot your father as well. Nor any of the guests. Not even the one who deserved it most.’
‘Let us not speak of him again,’ she said, leaning close to kiss him.
‘Never,’ he agreed. ‘But with the lot of them gone, our house is almost back to normal.’
‘Almost,’ she said, suddenly remembering what was still let to settle.
‘I must find a school for your son, of course. The one my father sent me to is a good distance away. But it is certainly rigorous enough to prepare him for Cambridge. I will write tomorrow to see if any of my old schoolmasters remain and if they would consider taking a first-year student in the middle of a term.’
He was droning on about the distant future. Those details were not the least bit important right now. ‘He is a bit young to start, is he not...?’ she began carefully. ‘He is not quite seven.’
‘He will adjust,’ Gerry said, frowning.
‘But will I?’ She marshalled her fears and took a steadying breath. ‘We have never been apart. And once he has started school, I will not see him for months at a time.’
‘More than months,’ he reminded her, oblivious to her pain. ‘He will be spending his holidays there. If the school cannot house him, perhaps there are some farms in the area that have room for a boarder.’
‘Farms?’ she said, her voice turning shrill. ‘Next you will have him working for his keep like a common labourer.’
‘Certainly not,’ he said, surprised at her reaction. ‘He will be raised as a gentleman. You will be able to write him any time you like to assure yourself of his progress,’ he added, as an afterthought.
‘He is barely able to read a letter at his age,’ she snapped.
‘The schoolmasters will read to him. And the other boys.’
‘No!’ The word came out as a shout that surprised them both. Her plan had been to coax and cajole. She’d meant to use her feminine wiles, to be biddable and agreeable as she always was. But despite how much had changed since his return, it was clear that his
plans for Stewart had not changed at all.
‘In a year or so, it might be easier for him,’ she said in a calmer voice.
‘Perhaps it might.’ He gave her a stern look. ‘But we will have to make do with the plan as it is.’
She rolled closer to him, so their thighs touched, placing her hands flat against his chest so she might feel the beat of his heart. ‘I had hoped, now that you know more about the circumstances of his birth, that you might reconsider the severity of your future plans.’
‘They are not severe,’ he replied, covering her hands with his in an effort to calm her. ‘They are sensible. If we are ever to put the incident behind us, we cannot have the boy running about the house, always in sight and underfoot.’
‘The incident?’ she said in what she hoped was a warning tone. She had been calm too long and it had availed her nothing.
‘It is not healthy for you to brood upon it,’ he answered, with surprising gentleness. ‘I have seen how it upsets you when you are reminded of it.’
‘I do not brood upon it,’ she insisted. ‘In fact, I managed quite well, despite seeing my attacker almost every day at meals.’
‘You had occasional spells,’ he reminded her. ‘And nightly headaches.
‘Sometimes the fear did get the better of me,’ she said, annoyed that he was right.
‘You will be even better now that Greywall is gone. And once we have sent the boy away...’
‘Stewart,’ she said. ‘His name is Stewart.’ It was one thing to want justice and quite another to think that the past could be erased if one did not look at it.
‘Once Stewart has gone to school,’ he corrected, ‘it will be even easier.’ He squeezed her hands again and slipped his arms around her, ready to pull her close and end the discussion with a kiss.
She took another breath and said firmly, ‘It will not.’ Then she pushed away from him and sat up.
He reached for her, as surprised by her rejection as by her words.
‘The spells and headaches are all but gone, now that you are here,’ she said. ‘Knowing that you understand and forgive me, and having support, was all I really needed to heal.’ He must see that she had changed. Everything was different now. Only her love for Stewart was unchanged. ‘I was able to stand up to the earl myself this morning, with no trouble at all. He’d have left as planned, even without your and Father’s arranged accident.’
‘That is good to know,’ he said, obviously surprised. ‘But even if he’d left, he would not really be gone. His son would remain.’
‘Stewart is not his son,’ she said. ‘He is mine. To his dying breath, the earl did not know him, or claim him.’
‘Perhaps not,’ Gerry admitted. ‘But that does not change how he came to be in my house.’ The inflection was subtle, meant to remind her that while the house belonged to him, the child never would.
‘But nothing that happened here was Stewart’s fault. It is not fair to punish him for what his father did.’
‘I am not punishing him,’ Gerry insisted.
‘Then you are punishing me,’ she said. That was what this would be, whether he knew it or not.
‘I am not punishing you. I am trying to spare you pain.’ If he thought that was true, it showed how little he knew her.
‘But he does not cause me any pain. There are nothing but sweet memories when I think of him.’ She touched his arm, to assure him that she was fine.
‘That makes no sense,’ Gerry said.
‘You cannot understand,’ she said ‘You are not a mother. Even though I hated his father, Stewart is as much a part of me as my own heart. To take him away would be like ripping that organ out of my chest.’
‘You are right,’ he said. ‘I do not understand, because it does not make sense. To have him here would be a continual reminder to me of what happened.’
‘A continual reminder to you,’ she said and felt her own anger rising again. ‘That is what this is really about. Your fine words about sparing me pain are nothing more than that. The truth is this: your pride is wounded. You do not want to think that, even unwilling, I was ever with another man.’
‘I do not blame you,’ he said quickly. ‘I blame myself.’
‘Do you not see?’ She shook her head. ‘Blaming anyone other than the earl is quite pointless. My father did not plan for it to happen. I could not have stopped it and neither could you. We were both little more than children when it occurred . And Stewart is the most innocent of all.’
‘That may be true,’ Gerry allowed. ‘But you ask too much of me if you expect me to take him into my home and treat him as my own son.’
‘And you ask too much of me, if you want me to give him up,’ she said. A rush of fear came with the words. But for the first time in for ever, there was no light-headedness, or blinding pain. The truth terrified her, but it was a relief to face it. ‘I want to make you happy and be the loyal wife you want. But I cannot do that at Stewart’s expense.’
‘But you are my wife.’ Faced with her sudden insurrection, Gerry did not sound so much angry as bewildered.
‘And I promised to obey you in all things,’ she agreed. ‘I have discovered that I cannot keep my promise to you.’
Now he was the one acting as if the wind had been knocked from his sails. It took some time before he was able to answer at all. ‘What are we to do?’
It was the first time he had asked for her opinion. It might have pleased her had she an answer that would bring them both happiness.
‘I do not see an answer, other than separation. I will go and take Stewart with me. It will spare you from having to be reminded of what happened,’ she said, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice.
‘I will not give you money to maintain your own household, if that’s what you are after,’ he said, showing a trace of the anger she had seen on the day he’d arrived.
‘You will not need to,’ she said. ‘I have enough saved from the allowance you gave me that the two of us can live comfortably for quite some time.’ If that failed, there was always her father. He was barely out of her life. Was it a sign of strength or weakness if she was to go back to him so soon?
‘How very sensible of you to see to your own future,’ he said in a dry tone. ‘Now what am I to do with my mine, if I have a wife who refuses to live with me?’
‘There might be a way to gain an annulment, even after all this time,’ she said. ‘If you can prove fraud.’
‘There was nothing havey-cavey about it,’ he said indignantly. ‘The licence was legal and the banns were read.’
She sighed. ‘My family specialises in making crooked things seem straight. How hard can it be to do the reverse? And a legal separation would net you nothing. It would not allow you to marry again.’
‘Or you,’ he reminded her.
‘I have no intention of seeking another husband.’ Even the thought of replacing Gerry made her heart ache.
He gave her a sardonic leer. ‘Have I ruined you for all other men?’
‘In a way,’ she said. ‘I love you. I expect I will continue to do so, even if we are apart. If I cannot be with you, then I will be happier alone.’
Apparently, she’d said a thing he could not joke his way out of, for he was silent again. Though it hurt that her declaration was not immediately followed by one from him, saying the words aloud had given her a freedom she’d never felt before. She loved him. He knew. If she had nothing else, she gained that.
But now, she must set him free. ‘There is only one other alternative I can give you.’
‘And what is that?’ He was smiling as if he expected her to announce that she’d changed her mind and agreed with his initial plan, after all.
‘If Stewart and I were to die, it would leave you free to marry and start again.’
‘No.’ The denial was quick and adamant.
‘Not in truth. But it is far easier to arrange for two people to disappear permanently and appear dead than to navigate the courts to end a marriage.’
‘You would have me live a lie, just so you could keep that child.’ The bitterness in his voice as he said it proved to her that there would be no declaration of devotion forthcoming. His feelings for her were strong, but ultimately they were as selfish as her family’s had been.
‘When I give my heart, I do not ever take it back. It is true of my love for you,’ she said, touching his cheek. ‘But I love Stewart as well. Even if I could send him away, his existence will always be a barrier between us, whether you admit it or not.’
‘Very well, then.’ He rolled away from her. ‘The sooner the better. You will leave in the morning and take the boy with you. Once you have found a place to settle, I will send your things on after you. And there will be no nonsense about faked deaths or rigged annulments. When you realise your mistake and come crawling back to me, we will settle things as I planned and that will be that.’
He stood for a moment, as if looking for a door to slam. And then he realised where they were and pointed at her. ‘Remove yourself from my room, madam. You are no longer welcome here.’
‘Yes, Captain,’ she said and went back to her own room. The tears did not begin until she heard it lock behind her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
He was the last of the Wiscombes.
Gerry stared at the star-shot canopy of his bed and tried to accept the thing he had been trying to prevent. He’d got a wife and a fortune. He’d survived Waterloo to come home and father a child. He had spent a third of his life trying to stop the inevitable decay of house and name. And he had failed.
Now, Lily would take the child and go. Despite what he’d said about her seeing the error of her ways and returning to him, once she left his home he knew he would not get her back.
Eventually, he would give up on the past. There would be embarrassing legal ramblings as he tried to decide if it was even possible to dissolve this union. If the true parentage of the boy was revealed, it might be better off for him. Even the unacknowledged son of an earl might do quite well for himself, should Greywall’s family be bullied into helping on the sly.
The Secrets of Wiscombe Chase Page 20
