by KL Hughes
Elena continued to kiss and suck between Allison’s legs until Allison’s thighs went slack. She pressed a final kiss to the sensitive flesh before crawling back up to rest just to the side of Allison’s heaving chest. She smiled down at her, looked quite pleased with herself.
“So, I take it I did well?” she asked, kissing Allison’s shoulder and tracing a finger around a taut pink nipple.
Allison, unable to even speak, nodded and patted Elena’s thigh. She then rolled over and pulled Elena against her chest, and they lay there, wrapped around one another, sharing soft kisses and slowly regulating breaths until they both drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Allison woke to Elena’s soft lips brushing over her naked shoulder and down her side. She smiled into the plush pillow she was partially wrapped around as she lay on her stomach and tried not to jerk with each kiss. They made her body feel electric, her spine tingling to the point of pain. When Elena slipped the sheet from Allison’s hip and bit softly into the flesh just above her hip bone, Allison couldn’t hold still any longer.
“Mm,” she moaned as her hip jerked forward just a bit.
Elena laughed quietly, the sound ragged from sleep and sexy as hell. She licked over the area she had just bitten before pressing a soft kiss there. She then crawled up Allison’s body and lay on top of her back. “Good morning.”
“Best morning,” Allison said, her own voice low and raspy. She rolled, Elena rolling with her, and then resettled with the woman now resting on her chest.
Her vision was blurry from sleep, so she quickly rubbed at her eyes and then blinked. When Elena came into focus again, Allison’s chest clenched so hard, it hurt. She thought it was the best pain she had ever felt, like a physical jolt from all she felt in that one breathtaking moment of seeing a bare Elena partially wrapped in a white sheet, hair wild and eyes glimmering in the streaks of early morning sunlight spilling through the window, and wearing a smile so small but so intimate and so radiant that it seemed impossible that it could actually be directed at her.
“You see,” Elena whispered, “my bedhead is horrible.”
Allison didn’t say a word. She simply continued to stare at the woman, her breath completely gone and her heart racing.
Elena sighed. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?” Allison choked out, barely able to form words as she lost herself in Elena’s eyes.
“Look at me and make me feel as if the entire world has disappeared.” The words barely touched the air before fading in another gentle sigh.
Allison licked her dry lips and swallowed thickly before saying, “Maybe…” Her voice cracked on the word, and she closed her eyes to settle her soul. She felt so much in that moment that it was hard to keep her shit together. She felt like she was on the verge of cracking open and letting everything spill out. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she felt like she needed to say, and so much that she didn’t have a clue how to say.
She knew how she felt about Elena. She knew it so intimately that the knowledge seemed to thrum in her veins. It was a feeling she had spent her life thinking she would never know, and yet, here it was. It was embedded in her cells as if she had always known it, as if all the days of her life that she spent feeling unlucky and unloved and alone were eradicated by its presence, and all that remained was Elena and Lucas. Family. Love. Belonging.
She took a deep breath and tried again. “Maybe because when I look at you, it sometimes feels like the world actually does disappear. Sometimes, it feels like you’re the universe and I’m just lucky to be here. I’m just lucky to exist here, to be a small part of your world.”
Elena’s eyes watered, and she took a shaky breath. She reached up and traced her index finger over Allison’s bottom lip as a tear escaped her eye and slipped down her cheek. “You are so much more than a small part, Allison,” she whispered. “You are so much more.”
Allison could see Elena’s love so clearly in her eyes, and it made her heart beat heavy and hard in her chest. This was the moment, she thought. This was the moment to say it, to say everything; this was it. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, the words dancing on the tip of her tongue.
“Momma?”
Both Elena and Allison leaned up to glance at the bedroom door. Lucas’s soft voice echoed through it, followed by a gentle knocking against the wood. Allison cursed herself for letting the moment pass as she watched Elena slip from the bed, pull on a robe, and move to the door.
“Time to return to the rest of the world,” she said with a soft laugh, wiping at her eyes.
“Yeah.” Allison sighed. “I guess I should head out soon.”
Elena hesitated before opening the door. “Already?”
“I wish I didn’t have to,” Allison said, “but I really do have a lot of homework that I need to get done before class tomorrow, and I’ve got finals coming up soon. I should study.”
Elena frowned but nodded anyway before opening the door to see her son.
* * *
As she made her way to the nearest subway station, Allison was still annoyed with herself for not having told Elena how she felt. Her stomach was unsettled by it, almost like she felt guilty for not having put the feelings to words. It ate at her, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe it was because she knew that other days and other times weren’t always guaranteed. Maybe it was because she was afraid she would lose her nerve altogether if she didn’t just do it as soon as possible. Maybe it was because she had never felt this way before, and she was bursting with the feeling. She just had to say it.
It didn’t really matter the reason, because that uncomfortable feeling was enough in itself, and, before Allison even realized what she was doing, she turned around and took off at a sprint. She needed to say all the things swirling around inside her. She wanted to. She wanted Elena to know, and she wanted to know if Elena felt the same way about her.
So, in true Allison fashion, she ran; only this time, she ran toward the hope of love instead of away from it.
Allison entered Elena’s house quietly and made her way toward the living room. She stopped just outside the room, though, when she realized that Elena wasn’t there. Lucas sat on the couch, mouth open as he stared at the television, watching cartoons. He didn’t hear or even notice Allison, so she quietly turned and made her way back toward the kitchen. It was empty, so she hurried down the hall to Elena’s room.
“Elena?” she called as she stepped inside, but she received no answer. That was when she noticed the sound of the shower running in the bathroom.
Allison darted over to the bathroom door and opened it just enough to poke her head in. “Elena?” she called. She wanted to make the woman aware of her presence before Elena could startle and chuck the nearest object at her head.
The foggy shower door slid open just a crack, and Elena’s face came into view, her hair slicked down around her cheeks. “Allison? Did you forget something?”
Allison swallowed around the massive lump that had suddenly taken residence in her throat and nodded.
“Oh,” Elena said. “What was it?”
Allison’s entire body felt like it was on fire, her nerves sparking electrically under her flesh. She sucked in a deep breath and moved, not even bothering with her clothes or her shoes before pushing back the shower door and climbing into Elena’s shower.
“Allison!” Elena exclaimed, stumbling backward under the spray. “What are you doing?”
“I…” Allison began, water droplets streaming down her forehead and over her eyes. They clung to her lashes, making her blink rapidly, but she never closed her eyes. She continued to stare at the beautiful bare woman before her. All of those feelings bubbled rapidly to the surface again, and a surge of confidence ignited in Allison’s heart. “I read a lot,” she finally managed to say and then immediately wanted to smack herself when she saw Elena’s brows furrow.
“I don’t understand,” Elena said. “You climbed into my showe
r, fully clothed, to tell me that you read a lot?” She laughed awkwardly, the sound croaky and weak, but her eyes deepened with concern. She reached out and cupped a hand around Allison’s cheek. “Are you feeling ill, dear? You’re behaving strangely.”
“Just listen,” Allison said. “Please.” She rubbed her thumb back and forth over the inside of Elena’s wrist as she pushed all of her feelings into her voice. “I’ve read all those stories about soul mates and true love and all that stuff, but I never thought they were real, you know? I never thought any of that could happen to me.”
“Okay,” Elena whispered, the quiet word dying quickly in the roar of the shower rain.
Allison’s breathing was shallow and made tiny bursts of white fog as each breath hit the heated water raining down around them and soaking through her hair and clothes. “I never thought I’d feel that way about someone. I never thought anyone could ever feel that way about me, but every time I’m with you and every time I think about you, I find myself hoping that you do.” Her voice cracked terribly as her throat tightened and tears began to blend with the shower water on her cheeks. Still, she pushed through it. Putting herself out there, laying her feelings bare, scared the hell out of her, but she had to say this. She wanted to say this.
“I find myself hoping that you feel that way about me,” she confessed, “or that you could feel that way about me someday, because all those books say that you only get one, you know? You only get one great love to last a lifetime, and I think it’s you. I think you’re mine. I want you to be mine.”
Elena’s eyes widened and her lips parted around a sharp breath.
“You and Lucas,” Allison continued, her voice now shaking so hard that she could hardly get the words out, “are always on my mind. You’re always in my heart, both of you. I love Lucas like a son, Elena. I want to be in his life. I want to watch him grow up. I want to be there beside you watching him play Little League or singing in his first school play. I want to be there. I want you to want me there. I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life.”
“Allison,” Elena croaked, her hand now clasped over her mouth as her body trembled and she blinked through her tears.
Allison took a step forward, the shower spray now beating down on top of her head as she pulled Elena closer. “Remember when I told you that I learned to say something in Spanish that I wanted to say to you?”
Elena nodded, eyes locked on Allison’s.
“Bear with me, okay?” Allison sniffled and pushed wet hair back from Elena’s cheeks. “I know my Spanish sucks, but it’s important that you know that mi corazón es tuyo.” She said the words slowly, doing her best to pronounce them as perfectly as possible while conveying how much she meant them, and she did. Her heart was entirely Elena’s.
A small sob escaped between Elena’s fingers, still cupped over her mouth.
“It’s yours,” Allison promised, “because I love you. I’m in love with you, and I know that I don’t have anything to offer you. I don’t have any money. Hell, I don’t even have a job right now, and I’m just a goofy kid who will probably never fit into your fancy lifestyle, but I don’t really care. I don’t care, because if you love me, then I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. If you love me, I—”
Her next words died against Elena’s lips as Elena surged forward and kissed Allison hard on the lips. She pressed her soaked bare body against Allison, arms wrapping tightly around her neck, and sobbed into Allison’s mouth as she said, “I do,” over and over. “I do love you.”
They stood beneath the shower rain, wrapped around one another and soaked to the bone, and the world drowned away in the hum of the spray, until the heated presses of desperate kisses and of fingertips to flesh became all they knew.
“You do?” Allison asked, needing to hear the words again.
Elena nodded against Allison’s forehead, their soaked skin sliding together. “I do,” she whispered in a puff of fog. “Te amo, Allison.”
Allison smiled at the words, letting them fill her up. They pressed together again in a perfect kiss, long and deep, and, as the spray beat down around them, they gave themselves over to the feeling of loving and being loved in return.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Nearly two full weeks passed without Allison and Elena seeing one another. Elena was swamped with work, as she had several spring shoots back-to-back to organize, and Allison was neck-deep in final classes and exams. The separation wore on them both, but they bore it the best they could. They filled in the spaces with texts and phone calls, talking as often as they could. Their conversations ranged from the silly to the serious, but each one drew them closer and closer together.
This class is so boring.
Which class?
It’s one of my lit courses, and it’s not the subject that blows. It’s the prof’s book choices. I seriously can’t get down with stuff that’s SO classic that it’s barely understandable.
Some classic literature is wonderful, but I know what you mean.
Yeah, and my prof’s voice is sooo monotone, so it’s even worse. Seriously, if I had a chisel or, hell, a friggin’ SPOON right now, I’d be digging a hole in this wall straight prison style and escaping.
You only have a few days of classes left.
Good point, but then I’ll be starting all over again with new classes for my master’s.
Well, that was your choice, Allison.
You know, complaining with me is way more of a turn-on than playing devil’s advocate.
I see. In that case, what I meant to write was that that class sounds awful, and I would certainly assist you in your grand prison escape were I there.
Much better.
* * *
Elena sent Allison pictures of Lucas or the both of them with little stories of the games they played on their evenings together and how much they wished Allison could join them. Allison laughed out loud when she received one of Lucas with his hair wild and sticking up and his face covered in black smudges.
Why are you harboring a child Batman in your house, Elena?
I allowed Lucas to indulge in finger painting. This is the result. He is calling himself Wild Boy and is pretending to be a caveman.
Ha! I love it.
He is now asking me to make him ‘leaf clothes’.
DO IT, and make sure you send me some pics.
Allison laughed even harder when she later received a follow-up photo of Lucas, still sporting his paint-smudged face and wild hair. He looked like he was covered in mud. The paint smudges covered his limbs and belly, which were visible since the boy wore nothing but his pull-ups now covered in giant green leaves cut out of paper and taped to the material. The smile on his face was radiant.
Oh my God. I wish I could see him in person right now.
Do you want to come over?
I can’t. I’m in the middle of studying with Macy for our one and only shared final. It’s a huge one. I wish I could, though. I miss you guys.
We miss you too. Wild Boy and I are going to go build a (paper and blocks) campfire. Study hard, darling.
* * *
Sometimes, they would simply tell one another how they felt, and, sometimes, those confessions spiraled into ridiculous, teasing discussions that could go on for hours.
I love you, Allison.
I love you more.
Not possible.
Totally possible.
I disagree.
Well, I agree…with myself, I mean.
Of course you do.
I’m just saying: I love you more.
Well, then, I propose that I love you MOST.
*narrows eyes* Touché sir.
I am not a sir.
Yeah, I know. It just sounds cooler when you add the “sir”.
You are ridiculous.
Me? Ridiculous? Not a chance. YOU’RE the one who just went all thirteen-year-old girl on me with the “I love you most” text.
Excuse me? You started it with YOUR
“I love you more” text.
I don’t know what you’re talking about, therefore it never happened.
You are impossible.
Can I just butt in a moment to say you’re BOTH impossible? Because you are, and Alli’s message alert going off every three seconds so you two can argue about who loves the other more or most or whatever the bloody hell is ten seconds away from making me go completely apeshit. Also, I’m looking forward to seeing you at Lucas’s party, love. Thanks for the invite.
